please keep thinking about me, please think about what you saw in me.
i want to feel important. but please don't tell me you love me, i wont believe it. even the thought that someone could love me seems absurd, horrifying.
please remember i used to be real, i used to be a person with a heart & a mind & a soul & love, so much love.
i breathed & i laughed & i kissed like i meant it. and i did mean it, i meant all of it. i was born whole but now i walk an empty shell of a person though none of it matters.
i want to be important in ways that maybe aren't but maybe i just want to be lived.
My heart is shattered. I cannot breathe. I have cried tears hearing the news. What happened in Pahalgam is gut-wrenching. They killed people for their religion. They held them at gunpoint, they asked their religion, they literally pulled their pants down to check and then shot them dead. Their fault? Being a Hindu. I am an Indian. I am a muslim. And I wish hell on any Indian or any Muslim who is inhumane enough to defend this. I have faced Islamophobia more times than I can count, I know well enough about how it feels when people want to kill you just because of your religion. But no amount of suffering validates wishing or defending the atrocities commited against others. If you want people to speak up for you then have the courage to speak up for others too. 26 people died. They were murdered brutally. 25 of them were Hindus. That's it, that was their only fault - following their religion. I know how people are trying to twist this tragedy into something else, to twist this into a communal problem within India rather than attacking back at the terrorists who are at fault. I also know that many people will call me out saying that I am not holding Indian Muslims accountable for supporting such heinous acts. The truth is I do not consider any such disgrace of a human being who defends such atrocity an Indian let alone a Muslim. They are not humans, people like them taint the name of our entire religion and I will say it again and again - they deserve to rot in hell, execute them for all I care. This was an act against humanity. Innocent people were killed because of their religion, we - of all people - should be the first ones to protest. I have seen many posts saying "terrorism doesn't have a religion is a myth", "not all muslims but always a muslim", "we don't need air strikes, we need to do something like Israel", "we have backstabbers in our country", etc. and yet I will still say instead of fighting back and holding these people accountable for generalizing the whole community for the actions of few, hold those accountable who have done such things to taint your name. The body of the victims have not even reached their homes yet, and we are already fighting. Not for them, but with each other. I won't say that this is not about religion, it obviously is - 25 people were murdered because they were Hindus - but this is not religion vs. religion. This is us Indians vs. terrorism and all those people who support and nurture it in our motherland.
A half written poem i wrote two years back for someone i used to love deeply.
kabhi kabhi darr lagta hai ki kahin tujhe kho na du, ki kahin mai iss hone na hone ki ladayi mein itna na kho jaun ki tujhe bata na paun ki
Jab tu hasta hai to kitna khoobsurat lagta hai, jab tu bina soche samjhe mere liye waqt nikalta hai to kitna sukoon milta hai, jab jab teri awaz mein wo bhaari pan sunti hu to kitna dard hota hai, tu pagal hai jo tujhe lagta hai ki tu mujhe kabhi khush nhi rkhta, agar tu na ho to mai
Darr lagta hai ki kahin tujhe ye bata na paayi ki tere hone se kisi ke na hone ka farak nhi padta, aur tere naam khudko karne se darr nhi lagta,
Tujhse uppar kisi ko nhi rkhti, maana bol jaati hu kabhi kuch zaada lekin aaj tak tere baare mein kuch bura nhi socha,
Jab tak tu hai, tab tak mai hu, jahan tu nahi wahan mai kyu?
Hey š Iām Saja ā a mother trying to hold onto hope through days that feel impossibly heavy.
I know you probably see a lot online, but if you could take just a momentā¦ Iād be so grateful.
š« A reblog of my pinned post could help our story reach someone who cares.
šæ And if youāre in a place to give, even a small donation could bring comfort to my daughter and help us feel safe again.
@sajagz, thank you for listening.
Even gentle support creates strength.
From one heart to another ā thank you š¤
I hope you find peace between this storm life has brought and I hope even this small reply makes a difference in your and your daughterās day. May god be with you š¤
šø From One Motherās Heart ā Please Read šø
My name is Saja. Iām a wife, a mother, and a woman who once believed her story would be simple. I thought my days would be filled with watching my daughter grow ā from her first smile to her first steps ā surrounded by the small joys of everyday life.
But life had other plans.
War has returned to our home. Again.
And once again, we find ourselves living under skies that never seem to rest.
There was a moment ā a fragile, breathless moment ā when the bombs paused and the world seemed to remember us. It gave us hope. We thought maybe, just maybe, we could start to rebuild. But now, we are back in the dark ā hiding, holding on, praying.
Iām writing this not as someone seeking pity, but as a mother who has no other choice but to speak.
Imagine holding your baby in the middle of the night, not because she cried, but because the world outside roared too loud for either of you to sleep. Imagine whispering bedtime stories not to lull her into dreams, but to keep the fear from settling into her tiny bones.
This is my life.
This is my daughterās life.
And even now ā especially now ā I believe in softness. I believe in kindness.
Because when everything else is taken from you, hope becomes the most valuable thing you have.
Why Iām Reaching Out
Our home has been damaged. Our lives changed. But through it all, my daughter wakes up every morning with a smile. She reaches for me with trust, with love, with faith that I will keep her safe.
Thatās why I keep going.
Iāve launched a campaign to ask for help ā not because itās easy, but because silence is no longer an option. I am asking for support not just for me, but for my baby, and for the quiet strength of so many mothers like me who are fighting, every single day, to hold their families together.
How You Can Help:
š¤ Help us restore parts of our home so we can live with dignity
š¤ Support women and mothers in Gaza with access to care and resources
š¤ Keep the light of hope alive for a generation born in the shadows of war
š If you can, please support our journey here:
My name is Saja. I am a wife, a mother to a precious 8-month-old girl, and I am writing this in a moment that I wish I didnāt have to live t
If you canāt give, please consider sharing.
Your voice might be the reason someone else hears ours.
From My Heart to Yours
Maybe our lives are worlds apart. Maybe youāve never lived through war.
But if youāve ever held a child and wished the world could be better for them ā then you understand more than you know.
I donāt want my daughter to grow up thinking the world turned away.
Please, if youāve read this far ā thank you.
Thank you for seeing us. Thank you for caring.
We are still here. Still hoping. Still holding on to every kind act like itās a lifeline.
āThe blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the wombā
why ma? why were you there to protect me from falling of the bed but not there to save me from this downfall? why didnāt you show up for me when I had blood flowing down the drain because of what you said? why didnāt you show up for me when i constantly battled with the vines that had my heart in a chokehold so bad it hurt for days, why didnāt you show up for me when i had tears running down my cheeks and sobs shaking up the whole house on my 12th birthday?
why do you blame me then, for finding peace in strangers? why ma? why am i still the one being blamed for loving someone who taught me surviving isnāt the way to live
why do you blame me for trusting my chosen family more than i trust you?
you have always been a mother, when will you be MY mumma?
Manifesting some clear skin, common sense, patience and lack of headaches for myself. It's impossible but the universe has to do it or I'll stamp my foot and cry and shout like a toddler.
