hi everyone! I'm maybelle but you can call me may or belle! my pronouns are they/them and I am 21+ :)
AO3 for Fanfics ☆ Emeto Fanarts
I no longer take fanfic requests ❌️However, feel free to send headcanon requests at any time! ✅️
NO GENERATIVE AI 🚫
Content I post/welcome in my ask box:
TOPICS
- General Sickfic content
- Whump / Injury content
- Fictional Emetophilia / Vomiting
MEDIA
- Headcanons, headcanon requests
- Fanart (links, yours or otherwise, as long as the original artist is tracable/credited)
- Fanfictions (yours or otherwise, links only, please don't post entire fanfictions in plain text to my ask box!)
Favorite Fandoms + Favorite Characters
- Bungo Stray Dogs (Akutagawa, Higuchi, Atsushi) - Always up to date with the manga, read Stormbringer, Beast (LN + Manga) and Osamu Dazai's Entrance Exam, started Gaiden
- Gachiakuta (Zanka, Enjin, Rudo, Riyo) - Always up to date with the manga
- Hazbin Hotel (Alastor) - Always up to date with the show, seen the pilot
- Demon Slayer (Genya, Kyojuro, Shinobu) - Finished the manga
- Dandadan (Okarun, Momo) - Always up to date with the manga
- Fullmetal Alchemist [Brotherhood or 03] (Edward, Hawkeye) - Completed, have not seen the 2003 movie
- Helluva Boss (Fizzarolli, Blitz)
- Moriarty the Patriot (William, Louis)
I'm not interested in posting about other fandoms but absolutely open to talking about characters from mentioned series that aren't listed here, of course :)
I try to answer my asks in the order I receive them but is I get one about characters I love or something I'm inspired to talk about I'll answer those sooner!
Before you follow:
- I try to tag all of my posts appropriately so people can search my blog, but also so people with muted tags can avoid certain posts. If you would like me to tag something that I'm not tagging, please let me know. If I am tagging something you think shouldn't be tagged (for example, I no longer tag fics with chro_nic pain to avoid flooding the tag on Tumblr with fictional posts, as per a request), please let me know.
- On this note, since it is a sensitive topic, I do post about eating disorders from time to time - never IRL, always as character headcanons, and never in any form of glorification!
- Please be aware that I post emetophilia content on this blog occasionally! It's often not explicit/not sfw (but always tagged when explicit) but if you're severely emetophobic and not interested in working through your phobia (this isn't a dis, I'm emetophobic irl for example lol) this blog probably isn't for you - but thank you for stopping by!!
Content you won't find on my blog / Content I don't want in my ask box
- Anything involving me. Example. Again I'm emetophobic irl and I prefer to consume content like this on my own terms :)
- NSFW. I don't mind NSFW at all but I'm not comfortable with having that content in my ask box!
- On that note, I will not post emetophilia content about characters under 18!
- I'm generally not interested in talking about X Reader/self insert content :) (Sorry!)
- Also generally not super interested in talking about fandom things that aren't sickfic/whump/angst/etc. related on this blog, since that's not what people are here for :)
- I won't post snz kink, weight gain kink, or scat stuff on my blog :) I don't mind seeing most of it, you just won't find it here.
- And these two are a little random but I don't care for hanahaki disease or content with excessive torture at the moment
Weirdly obsessed at the moment with sickie having had too much coffee on an empty stomach, and them feeling all types of weird and nauseous because of it for the longest time. Then they accept defeat (and their own stupidity) and decides to wait it out in the bathroom. Except they don't have to wait. As soon as they see the toilet they throw up.
really nice gift for Specifically Me when the character has an immediate and violent panic response to being held down / physically restrained. especially if their affect is usually cheerful or relaxed or reserved and this is their one "sicko mode (wildly uncharacteristic)" button.
Gachiakuta Whump Week is a 7-day whump prompt week where participants can write fantiction or create fanart based on each day's prompts, with optional settings for inspiration. (Creations are encouraged to be made ahead of time, but if you want a challenge, feel free to create each work the day of!)
On this post, you will find written versions of the above graphic for accessibility, explanations of each prompt with ideas for what you can do, and an FAQ (frequently asked questions) to clear up any confusion and make rules.
From July 12th-18th are the prompts (First page/graphic)
Sunday, July 12th: Overheating/Freezing
Monday, July 13th: Illness
Tuesday, July 14th: Kidnapping
Wednesday, July 15th: Collapse
Thursday, July 16th: Hidden Condition
Friday, July 17th: Pollution
Saturday, July 18th: Major Injury
And our setting ideas (Second page/graphic)
Cleaner Headquarters
Old factory
Suspicious town
Trafficker hideout
Raider Base
Abandoned cabin
Alice's clinic
Cleaner HQ infirmary
The Jeep
Unfamiliar hospital
Tamsy's cellar
Stranger's home
Isolated cave
Cargo train
Below are explanations of each prompts, with ideas for where to take it.
Sunday, Juy 12th: Overheating/Freezing
Focus on a character who, as a result of the environment, is suffering from the effects of overheating or freezing. The character could be wearing one too many layers in hot weather while fighting, they could fall into cold water with no means of warming up, they could be stuck in a hot room with no way out.
Monday 13th: Illness
Focus on an illness a character is suffering from. The character could be sick with the flu, the character could be suffering from a Ground-created illness. Is there medicine available? Are they somewhere where their symptoms can be easily treated?
Tuesday 14th: Kidnapping
Focus on a character who has been kidnapped. Is the character still stuck with their captor, or are they back home, suffering from the effects of their ordeal? Did their kidnapper injure them, or hurt them mentally?
Wednesday 15th: Collapse
Focus on a character who collapses or faints. How long are they unconscious for - just a few seconds, or days? Has it happened before? This could be a result of a hiding injury, a high fever, exhaustion from long work days, or maybe a condition the character has, whether their friends/teammates know about it or not.
Thursday 16th: Hidden Condition
Focus on a character who is suffering as a result of a hidden condition. This could be something as simple as an hiding an injury like a broken bone, or illness like a fever. The character could also have something like a food allergy or seizure disorder, that the rest of the team doesn't know about until it's a serious problem.
Friday 17th: Pollution
Focus on a character who is suffering from the effects of their polluted environment. This could be the classic option of the poisonous air of a No Man's Land, but could branch out to drinking polluted water, or a certain character's use of the Ground's pollutants as poisons. Can your character be easily treated, or are they stuck waiting for help as they suffer?
Saturday 18th: Major injury
Focus on a character who suffers a major, possibly life threatening injury. This could be a serious head injury that is almost completely impeding on their ability to fight, a gaping wound that won't stop bleeding, or possibly even a severed limb. Will your character get help before it's too late?
FAQ / Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What kind of content is allowed?
A: This is a fanfiction and fanart based event. There are no content restrictions, as long as your works are appropriately tagged.
Q: Do I have to tag my content?
A: Yes. Major topics and possible trigger warnings must be appropriately tagged at the very least. Make sure you tag your posts with #GACHIWHUMPWEEK2026 on Tumblr, and add fanfictions to the collection on ao3 (Gachiakuta Whump Week 2026).
Q: Do I need to participate in all 7 prompts?
A: No! You can participate in as many as you like, even if it's just one.
Q: Do I need to use the setting prompts?
A: No! The setting prompts exist for inspiration. You can use multiple in the same work, you can use the same one for each work, or you can use none of them. It’s up to you!
Q: Does it have to be Gachiakuta?
A: This is a Gachiakuta event, so only Gachiakuta related creations will be shared onto the page and allowed into the collection, but you are more than welcome to use these prompts for inspiration for other fandoms.
PS. Since this is a Gachiakuta focused event, we ask that your creations focus on canon characters, and not original characters or Y/N. Original characters are allowed to be included if they are not the focus of the work.
If you have any additional questions, please send us an ask! This event is run by @sickficideas.
LOL HI!! I'm so sorry I've been struggling to keep up with online stuff (I bought a house!!), still writing but i have neglected my ask box a little bit. I'm trying to get to it I promise! Hopefully things will calm down this summer lol. I've shifted my focus a little bit to Gachiakuta (since the BSD hiatus) but I have some BSD WIPs I'm working on too 💪
Character who regularly exercises/has to do a lot of physical activity waking up feeling stiff and sore, assuming that yesterday was just a little tougher than usual on their body. They roll right into their usual daily routine and push past it, as they have obviously needed to do in the past.
The whole day they feel worse and worse slowly, and by the time they realize they’re sick and feverish, they’re really feeling sick.
those rotting memories burned easier than i'd have thought - Zanka sickifc
ao3! 5.1k trade with @mabledonut <3 Please refer to tags via the link for content warnings!
Zanka feels like everything is buzzing.
“Hey, sleepyhead.”
Riyo’s voice.
She’s sitting on his bed. He heard her come in, but he didn’t fully register that she was there to tell him something until she sat down.
There's a dull throb at the back of his head. Another headache. They haven’t really stopped since the poisoning.
“What time s’it?” he groans. He knows it’s not early in the morning, and it’s not time for the job yet. He feels like he hasn’t been asleep for more than thirty minutes, so why is Riyo here?
“Ten something. You totally slept through the meeting,” she tells him. She’s obviously not bothered by it, more so paying attention to a snagged nail. “Enjin figured you’re catching up on sleep, so no big deal.”
Zanka sits himself up with a sigh. He didn’t realized he fell asleep so early. Sure, he would like to catch up on sleep, but he doesn’t want to miss out on important meetings. He doesn’t want to miss out on anything. He can just try to sleep afterward. He’s not going to ask Riyo why no one came and got him, because he’s just going to hear the same you’re still recovering nonsense that everyone has been giving him since the whole poisoning incident.
“What’s up with these late night meetings anyway,” Zanka grumbles, deciding it’s not worth the argument and lying back down, staring up at the ceiling.
“Lots of early jobs lately, I guess. Late night’s the only way to get everyone together nowadays,” she says. “You okay?”
“What?” he huffs. “I’m fine.”
He hates it. If one more person asks if he’s okay, he’s going to lose his mind. He knows it’s all just concern. They don’t pity him, he knows that, they’ve said it, they’re just worried.
He still hates it.
“I’m just surprised you’re not giving me any like, why didn’t you wake me up, like you usually do,” Riyo says.
“You guys are just gonna do what you want, anyway,” he mumbles. He doesn’t like how lax they’ve been with him during his recovery, and afterward. He wishes they would just pretend it never happened, and drag him out of bed like usual. He just wants to feel normal.
“Maybe,” Riyo says. “Anyway, Zan, I’m going up stairs. I’ll see you in the morning?”
“Yeah,” he sighs, deciding to lie back down, busy staring at the ceiling.
“G’night,” she tells him.
“Night, Riyo.”
…
It's too early, but Zanka can't go back to sleep. He's tried to train his brain into not waking up at four in the morning, like back in his Hell Guard training days, but he’s never managed to be able to do it. He didn’t even manage to sleep well while he was supposed to be asleep.
He decides to get ready. Maybe if he gets dressed and trains outside for a while before the job, he can level his head a little, and get rid of this weird fuzzy feeling. He’s a little worried it’s the start of a migraine, but it’s not quite the same as it usually is. He’s a little dizzy after he pulls his sleeveless top on.
He’s holding the top half of his uniform in front of him. Something feels weird.
Shit.
He hardly makes it to the trash bin on his floor, and chokes up whatever scraps he picked at from his dinner the night before. Coughing, sputtering. It hurts. He can’t be sure exactly why this is happening all of a sudden. Is he sick? Is this anxiety? Is it a migraine that just hasn’t gotten to his head yet, somehow? It’s not still part of the whole poison thing, is it?
He feels like he's going to pass out, for a second.
He can't call out. He can't do it. Not this time. Enjin won't let him stay.
“Shut up. Shut up,” he tells himself with a shaky breath, pressing his palms against his eyes.
No, that isn’t true. Enjin’s made that very clear to him. It’s an irrational fear. Zanka is afraid of abandonment, that’s what he’s heard Gris say when they think he’s not listening. He’s not with the Hell Guard anymore. He needs to relax, that’s what they’re trying to get through to him, but he can’t. He just hears his sister’s words from Enjin’s face. The feelings won’t go away.
He sits on the floor for a while, leaning against his bed frame, pulling his knees up to his chest. He's just trying to breathe. In, out. Maybe he's just anxious. He used to get like this whenever he worked himself up, but this whole anxious spiral didn’t start until after he threw up.
It's the first job he's been assigned to since that whole incident, since Enjin put him out for a month to recover. He's been training. And training. And training.
He can't let them down.
Zanka tries to look as presentable as humanly possible. Enjin knows he hasn't been getting great sleep lately, so maybe he'll chalk it up to that. He'll get lucky. He's borrowed makeup from Riyo before, and she's even left some in his room on occasion, so he uses it to fix his complexion just enough so he doesn't look like a ghost, and fix his under eyes the best he can. He looks like he didn’t even sleep a wink, and he’s pretty sure throwing up just now has completely zapped all his energy.
He feels awful.
At least Rudo won’t be on this job. He’s out with Tamsy and Follo, from what Zanka heard. He won’t have to worry about being a decent role model, he won’t have to pay close attention to Rudo’s new and unfamiliar battle tactics. He can just run on autopilot, and that should clear him of any suspicion. He’s great at autopilot.
He throws up again, just before he leaves. Just once. Not very much. He sort of felt it coming, that time. He breathes heavy, wondering if he's making a mistake or not. He thought for a long time that he was good at hiding his feelings until he realized Enjin and Riyo pretty much knew everything he thought and felt at any moment, but he's hoping he's gotten better about it.
Come on. Lock in.
He makes it out to the garage, where they’re set to meet by the company vehicle before they leave. He’s trying to be conscious of his posture. His stomach is killing him. He probably needs to eat something, but he’s afraid he won’t be able to keep it down. Zanka doesn’t even remember who they’re set to be working with until he gets there. Enjin, of course, with Riyo, and then Delmon and a few Supporters that Zanka isn’t too familiar with.
Riyo isn’t there yet. She’s usually on time, while Zanka’s always early, and Enjin somewhere in between.
Enjin waves Zanka down when he arrives. There’s four Supporters total, which isn’t many, but more than Zanka was expecting. It’s not supposed to be a big job.
Enjin looks like he has some job-related information to share with him, judging by the folder in his hands, but when Zanka gets closer, Enjin’s expression changes, and a knot forms in Zanka’s stomach. He hates that look.
“Still not sleeping good?” Enjin asks with a pout.
That obvious, huh?
“Yeah, I'm…I'll talk to Eishia about it. When we get back,” Zanka answers quietly, gripping his staff a little tighter. He doesn’t want to talk to Eishia at all. He’s bothered her more than enough since the beginning of his borderline hospitalization.
“Good idea. We need you rested good for work,” Enjin reminds him, ruffling his hair before he walks off, a folder in hand for one of the Supporters.
Zanka's breath is caught in his throat. He's frozen there for a second, wondering what that meant.
Is Enjin calling him off the job today? He wouldn't, right?
No. He's just overreacting.
Zanka needs to sit down.
…
It’s a decent, quiet drive out to where they’re headed. About three hours, until they park the car in a secure lot.
A town that doesn’t allow private vehicles is where they’re headed. It’s a way for them to monitor their population. They have to ditch their vehicle and take a public bus into the town - they don’t make exceptions for anyone, not even Cleaners that the city itself hired to clean up Trash Beasts right on the outskirts.
They're waiting at the bus platform, dozens of other passengers giving them either looks of admiration or disgust, nothing in between. It's not something they're not used to, but Zanka can't deal with it right now. The bus isn't supposed to be there for another five or ten minutes, so while Enjin isn’t paying attention, in conversation with the person ahead of them in line, he dips off.
He has to go sit by himself. Just for a minute. They’re all waiting on the bus anyway, they won’t notice if he disappears for a minute.
He was nauseous the entire drive out, but thankfully not so badly that he thought he might throw up. He was hoping that he’d gotten that out of the way this morning, but now the feeling is coming back. There’s a weird, fuzzy feeling in his head too, something he would usually chalk up to the beginning of a migraine, but it hasn’t actually gotten there. His head hurts, but not that badly.
He puts a hand against his chest, and takes a breath.
Anxiety. It's anxiety, right? He paces around the bench on the other side of the little building, gripping his Vital Instrument for dear life. He hasn’t had it this bad in a long time, if that’s what it is. It used to be a daily issue, after he left Kamuatari, after he was disinherited. He’d gotten talks from Enjin about it, Gris and Semiu too, and he got to a point where he could manage it, where he could avoid these moments.
And anxiety can be fixed by being calm. Breathing normally. Easy.
Fuck. Maybe he needs to throw up again and then he'll be fine.
“Zanka?”
He has the sense to not bash his head into walls anymore, he thinks, but sometimes he feels like that's the only way to bring him back to reality.
He tries to straighten himself out, but he can't look at Riyo. He's sure everything he's feeling is written all over his face.
Riyo stands next to him for a second, probably expecting him to at least react to her presence, but he doesn’t. “You, uh…you look like you're about to puke.”
“I'm fine,” he says, quickly, because he's trying to breathe. She's interrupting him. “Jus’ anxiety.”
It's easier to admit that than being sick. They've already accepted that's a flaw he has, and has had for a long time. Being sick is not acceptable. There's no quick fix for it. Enjin will be pissed if he finds out this late into the job that Zanka is sick, because he's strict about that. Taking care of yourself is the priority, he always says. He won’t let Zanka work if he has a headache or a fever, even if it’s unrelated to being sick. And especially not now, not after what happened.
“Okay, well, let's sit down then,” Riyo says to him, laying a hand on his shoulder and bringing him down to the bench. He's so unbelievably nauseous. He swallows. “What's up, huh?”
He can't say it. He doesn't want to. Maybe a month ago, before all this shit with Jabber happened.
“Please don't tell anyone,” he mumbles.
“Don't tell anyone what?” she asks quietly, turning her head to get a closer look at him.
Zanka can't say it. Why can't he say it? Riyo, out of everyone, would keep a secret.
“Zanka? You're kinda freakin’ me out, man.”
“Everything okay over here?”
Enjin’s voice nearly makes Zanka jump out of his skin. He was so focused on Riyo’s eyes that he didn’t even hear his footsteps.
“Yep. Zanka dropped an earring.”
He looks over, and sure enough, she’s holding one. Did it fall? Did she take it off? He doesn’t remember her doing that at all. Enjin looks confused too, because they didn’t walk near this platform on the way over, but he seems to accept the explanation.
“‘Kay, well, our bus is almost here.”
Riyo definitely saved his ass there, and she doesn’t even know the half of it.
The bus ride is torture.
He sits beside Riyo towards the back. Cars arn’t as bad, but the rare times he has to get on a bus or a train are torture for motion sickness, and it’s just another thing to add to the list of crap that’s making him feel awful.
It’s hot as hell, too, and no one else seems bothered by it. Zanka tries not to let it show, but he unzips the front of his uniform just a few inches to make it so that he’s not smothered, at least.
It’s not a fever, is it?
Riyo doesn’t bug him about anything, and she usually doesn’t. She doesn’t like to be bothered either when something’s up with her, and the mutual silence between the two in those situations is respected and appreciated.
He slips away to the bus restroom, which is probably disgusting enough by itself to make him throw up on a good day, but he just stands, leans against the door, and breathes. He doesn't want it to happen. It burns. Everything already hurts. The nauseous feeling is getting to his head, reminding him of his recovery from the poison, and for a few seconds, he feels like he can’t see. Can’t breathe. He gags, thinking for a second that he’s going to throw up. He holds his head over the tiny bus restroom sink, but nothing else happens. He can’t hand anything left in his stomach. He hardly did to begin with.
“Fucking…get it together,” he mumbles to himself, his voice shaking so much that it makes him cringe as he leans back against the door. What is wrong with him? Surely he wouldn’t have reacted this way to being sick a month ago. It’s never bothered him this much. He rubs his hands over his face.
He comes out quickly enough to avoid any suspicion, but Riyo is already giving him looks.
“Zanka,” Riyo whispers, tapping his shoulder.
He turns his head.
She has a little note pad on the pull-out table, and a nearly empty ink pen. They’re supposed to use those if they need to take notes during a job, when Scribes aren’t around.
u ok? talk to me
He bites his lip. He doesn’t want to do this, but Riyo will hunt him down until she gets an answer, one way or another. He takes the pen.
Don't feel good
Riyo raises an eyebrow.
i can tell
Riyo scribbles something else.
u sick then or what?
Zanka groans, laying his head back against the headrest. He doesn’t want to admit it. He can’t.
She rubs his shoulder for a second, comforting, before she flips to the next page to write something else.
pretty sure enjin would've been fine w u staying back
Zanka understands the sentiment, but he can't even consider the option. He needs to work. He wants to help. He hates sitting at home.
the whole poison thing probably fcked ur immune system
Zanka takes the pen.
Just anxiety, not sick
Riyo huffs at him. She's not buying it, but Zanka's already decided he's digging this grave. He doesn't fully believe it himself, but it's still a more acceptable answer than the truth.
“Passing notes in class?” Enjin half-laughs, peering over from the seat in front of them.
“Girls only,” Riyo says, flapping the notebook in his face before taking it back into her bag. She always says that when the two of them are whispering because it catches Enjin off guard, and sure enough, it starts another conversation between the two of them. Zanka stares at the seatback in front of him. He can’t hide this for much longer.
…
Everything is shifting around him.
He realizes he’s made a huge mistake coming out here, but it’s too late to back out, in the middle of active combat.
He’s somehow able to keep himself steady with the help of his Lovely Assistaff, and he’s pretty certain he wouldn’t have been able to make it this far without her. He’s fighting off the active threats in front of him. They’re not obscenely large Trash Beasts, and they aren’t too fast, either - goat-shaped, with horns. He’s able to take a few out with just a few swings, but there’s so many. He can’t see between all the dirt and dust they’re kicking up with their hind legs, Riyo and Enjin are, and Delmon is off with other Supporters further out.
Zanka feels horribly light headed all of a sudden, and it’s just a second of distraction that was long enough for a Trash Beast ram right past Zanka, tear off his mask and graze the side of his head with its horn, knocking him backwards and sending his staff flying behind him, deactivating as soon as she left his hands.
He’s so stunned by the sudden attack, and his failure to properly react, that he’s frozen. A hand touches the side of his head. He’s not badly injured from what he can feel, but the bright red blood covering his hand is enough to tell him he’s bleeding a lot. He’s so dizzy that it looks like his hand is moving when it isn’t.
He got really lucky. If it were only a few seconds later, that Beast would have plowed right through his head.
Zanka realizes it was the only one left, because as soon as Riyo is out of his line of sight, there’s silence. She must have taken it out.
She takes off her mask once Zanka sees her again, and her concerned expression right away is enough to tell Zanka how off his game he is. He wants to wave it off, but he realizes he doesn’t have full cooperation of the rest of his body. He feels like he’s going to pass out.
“Zanka, you good?” Enjin asks. Zanka can’t tell right away where his voice is coming from, but his eyes suddenly appear right in front of him. “You're bleeding. It just grazed you, right?”
He's pretty sure, yeah, but he can't tell. He stands up with some difficulty, autopilot, and Enjin takes his forearm to steady him. Zanka’s staring at the blood on his hand, staining Enjin’s sleeve.
“Whoa, you okay?” Enjin asks, concern slipping into his voice. “Can you stand?”
Zanka can't steady his breathing. His chest is burning. He feels like he’s on fire. He doesn’t know why it hurts so much. He still has his oxygen mask on. He tries to say something, because at the very least he should be apologizing, but nothing comes out right. Enjin’s going to be furious. Zanka is so angry with himself. He could have gotten someone hurt. He shouldn’t be here. He shouldn’t be here at all.
“Hey, talk to me,” Enjin says, but he can't. He stumbles as he tries to take a step forward and his knees collapse underneath him, and Enjin manages to catch him and steady him before he falls to the ground.
He hears them talking around him, Enjin laying him down and pressing a hand against his forehead. Their voices start getting fuzzy.
Zanka doesn't even think he felt this bad when he was recovering from what Jabber did to him.
…
Zanka practically collapses into Enjin’s arms. Riyo had a feeling this was going to happen, so she was careful to make sure she was watching Zanka’s back the whole time. But clearly, not careful enough.
“What the hell is going on?” Enjin breathes out. “Did he hit his head?”
Riyo shrinks. She’s holding Zanka’s staff. Enjin’s going to be pissed when he finds out that she sort of knew all along.
Enjin is very careful with him, wary of his head injury, as he lowers him down to the ground. Zanka doesn’t show any sign of being conscious, not really. Riyo doesn’t think he was hit head-on at all, but she’s pretty sure the fever she suspects he had just slowed his reflexes, and once that thing knocked him over, all of the adrenaline he had saved up collapsed with him.
Enjin turns Zanka’s head to inspect his injury, and looks confused, because sure enough, it’s nothing worse than a scrape that bleeds a lot more than a usual scrape, being on the head. Nothing bad enough to make Zanka pass out. He turns his head back, makes sure all of his equipment is attached, and that his oxygen mask is sealed. His hand lingers there for a second, before he presses it against Zanka’s forehead.
“He’s burning,” Enjin says with a huff, “has he been sick the whole time? Is that why -”
Riyo’s lips are pressed into a line. There’s no point in hiding it now.
“You knew, didn’t you?”
“Well, he didn’t really tell me, but -”
“Okay, we’ll talk about this later. We need to get him into town if he’s so sick that he’s passing out on us” Enjin says sternly, snaking one arm underneath Zanka’s shoulders and the other under his legs to carry him. He’s angry, but not with Riyo, and not with Zanka. Riyo can’t really tell what that means.
…
When he wakes up, he's staring at a ceiling that isn't familiar to him.
It's old, flickering light panels.
He's on a cot in a hallway. By himself. He sits up, brings his knees to his chest and pushes himself against the wall.
He can't breathe.
He doesn’t completely understand it, right away. All he knows is that he’s in a strange place and there’s no one familiar around. He’s still in his uniform, and he touches the side of his head, which is now bandaged - okay, that was real. Maybe he’s been treated for his injuries. It smells like a clinic - disinfectant, mostly, but where is everyone?
They wouldn’t leave him, right?
“Hey, hey. Don't breathe so hard, you're gonna hurt yourself.”
Enjin's voice comes out of nowhere, but the sudden hand on his back is what grounds Zanka back into reality. He wouldn't leave him. He wouldn't.
Enjin is holding two water bottles and a pack of cigarettes, and he smells like smoke, too, covering up the disinfectant he was smelling seconds ago with something familiar. He’s not as nervous with Enjin here, but Zanka is missing pieces. Did he pass out on that job, really?
So Enjin has to know he’s sick, right?
His breaths start to pick up again and he feels light headed. He’s not ready for this conversation. He’s so nauseous, all of a sudden. He presses two fingers onto the inner part of his wrist, a nausea pressure point he knows and really just a last resort, and Enjin seems to notice.
“Zanka, listen to me,” Enjin says, rubbing his shoulder, “you’re just gonna feel worse if you’re breathing like that.”
Zanka’s eyes are burning with tears. He fucked up. Enjin is going to be so angry with him.
“Zanka,” Enjin says again.
Zanka’s hands cover his face.
“I’m not your sister. Okay?”
He stops breathing, for a few seconds, frozen by those words.
He knows that. Of course he knows that. The tears spill from his eyes. He’s reacting so poorly to this that Enjin has to tell him things he told him three or four years ago, when he just joined, when his anxiety was so bad that he only ever assumed people around him had his sister’s intentions.
Everything hurts. His chest feels like it's on fire.
Why can’t he just get it together?
Enjin sits beside him on the cot, and rubs his shoulder, for a few minutes. Zanka’s trying to gather his thoughts. Breathe slower. Not so hard. Enjin says you’re going to hurt yourself like that. It’s so hard, but he keeps it up long enough that it doesn’t burn so much.
“You with me?” he asks gently.
Zanka nods. The tears streaming down his face dot his uniform.
“Took you to a local clinic up here. Riyo went with Delmon and the Supporters to finish the job on the other side,” Enjin explains.
Shit. He's completely dead weight. Enjin's the best one of them, easily, and he had to sideline himself to take care of Zanka's sorry ass.
“Don't think these guys're real doctors, but…thankfully I kinda know what I'm doing,” Enjin says, a hand on the side of his head where he was injured. “We're good here though. They said you can stay here ‘til you're feelin’ okay enough for us to leave.”
Zanka's breath is caught in his throat. He hates this. He rubs at his eyes. The tears won’t stop. He’s always like this when he has a fever, and he hates it.
“Riyo said you were throwin’ up, too?”
He wants to bash his head into the wall.
How did she even know that? Did she hear him, this morning?
“Listen, Zanka. I…I thought we talked about this.”
They have. A hundred times. Zanka bites his lip.
“Are…am I -”
“I'm not kicking you out. And you're not in trouble, okay?” Enjin says, answering Zanka’s biggest fears right off the bat. “I wouldn't kick you out for something stupid like that.”
Stupid. Of course he wouldn’t. Enjin has said that a million times too. It’s not your fault if you’re sick. But you need to be responsible.
And he wasn’t.
“Tell me why you didn't say anything,” Enjin asks. “Riyo knew, and she should've told me. But it's your responsibility to know when you're not fit to fight.”
That's just it.
There never was a not fit to fight, for him.
Zanka went to class every day, all day, without fail. It didn't matter if he had the stomach flu and he couldn't keep water downt. It didn't matter if he'd misstepped the day before, and a bullet from his sister's gun had lodged into his shoulder. It never mattered. His family was always breathing down his neck to make sure of it.
He always did it. He always survived through it. And he’s always thought that was the only option, and it didn’t matter if he didn’t feel well, because he always got the job finished. It didn’t matter if he got hurt, especially something as minor as this.
He can't get it through his head, that someone cared whether or not he got hurt. It didn’t make any sense to him.
“What do you think would've happened?”
“I don't…I don't know,” Zanka murmurs through increasingly panicked breaths. The tears won’t stop, either. He doesn’t have an answer. He doesn’t know. “Stupid…irrational bullshit…”
“Zanka, did you think I was going to punish you?”
Zanka swallows.
“Is that why you didn’t say anything?”
Zanka doesn’t nod, but he doesn’t shake his head, either. He doesn’t want to admit that. Enjin always says don’t work sick. Don’t work injured. Zanka understands that. It makes perfect sense. But it’s so drilled into his head that he has to work though anything, that by the time he can admit to himself that something is wrong, he’s already on the battlefield, and already broken Enjin’s rules.
“I have these rules because I can't trust you to fess up when you don't feel good, but I guess it backfired,” Enjin sighs, “it's making you not tell me at all. Think you get too in your head about it, huh?”
Zanka doesn’t want to admit it. It’s probably true.
“It’s my fault, too. Shouldn’t have painted broad strokes when you guys are all different. The rules work for Riyo and Eishia, but shouldn’t have assumed the same for you.”
Zanka wants to apologize, but Enjin keeps talking before he can.
“If you told me you weren't feeling good before we left, the least we could've done was take you to Eishia and get you some medicine,” Enjin says. “It doesn't always mean we need'a take you out of combat. And if it did, it’s not a problem. This stuff only lasts for a few days. Once you’re feeling better, you can do whatever you want. We can make things work, but I need you to be honest with me first. Because you know I’m not punishing you for shit that isn’t your fault.”
Zanka lowers his head. He feels like he can finally breathe, at least.
“How are you feeling right now?” Enjin asks, ruffling his hair.
Zanka's first instinct is to tell him he's fine, he feels okay, but he doesn't. His head is pounding. Everything feels weird and fuzzy, like his brain isn't fully comprehending what his senses are telling him. His stomach still hurts, but he doesn’t feel like he’s going to throw up anymore, at least. He should really say all of it out loud to Enjin, but he's not there yet.
“Not…great,” he mumbles. It's the best he can do. “Think I can leave, though.”
“‘Kay, if you're sure,” Enjin says, laying the back of his hand against Zanka's forehead for good measure. “Let's get you out of here, then.”
Enjin helps him off the cot, keeps him steady enough. His head is swimming, he can’t really stand straight, but he can make the most out of his staff this way, at least. Enjin looks a little concerned about him walking with how dizzy he is, but he’s able to hold himself up after a few steps. Enjin walks close beside him, just in case.
He can’t wait to lay down in his bed.
…
Zanka rubs his eyes.
There’s a familiar head of hair at the edge of his bed, attached to someone sitting on the floor.
“How long y'been in here,” Zanka mumbles.
“Riyo told me to watch you,” Rudo mumbles. He’s got something in his hands. Some sort of electronic piece and a screwdriver. He’s been doing that a lot more recently, keeping himself busy.
“Wasn’t my question,” Zanka replies.
“Two hours,” he says.
Zanka groans. He’s probably earned to be watched, with what he pulled yesterday.
He stares up at his ceiling. He doesn’t feel as bad as he did before, at least, but he could still certainly go back to sleep.
“Maybe you should take your own advice,” Rudo says.
At first, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but he quickly recalls telling Rudo the same things Enjin has told him. Don’t fight sick and don’t fight injured, if you can help it. Rely on your team. Take responsibility. It is good advice, and Rudo’s done good following it, too.
today i offer you: zanka in enjin’s shirt from ch 11 of this masterpiece https://archiveofourown.org/works/80744956/chapters/220883636#workskin written by the fabulous @mabledonut
A character who shows up to the function sick, but since they don’t say anything about it, no one else brings it up either (even though they all can tell). But as the evening wears on, they start to feel much, much worse, unsteady on their feet and fuzzy-headed while they try to hide what would be their more obvious symptoms.
Until finally they return to the group and say, wearily, “I…don’t feel well.” Most of the group is like, “Yeah, we know” in a casual, lightly teasing way.
But the character’s close friend is visibly concerned like, “No, you don’t understand, if they’re saying that, they’re about to hit the floor.”
I'm making up a fake disease for a Gachiakuta fic and I work in a medical field so I thought this would be easy but it's really hard actually and the hardest part is giving it a good name LOL. There's just so much potential with the Ground and all the toxins and shit it's so fun...
ao3! 2.7k - please refer to the tags in the link for content + warnings!
Zanka has gotten very familiar with this feeling over the past week.
He recognizes it before he can even process that he’s waking up, before he can even think about what time it is. He definitely needs to throw up, and he can’t do that in his room.
He stumbles to the door and almost struggles to open the door fast enough. It always takes him a while to actually wake up, so to have to attempt to get to the bathroom across the hall so soon after waking up is nearly impossible.
He makes it with enough time to make it into the toilet bowl, at least. Last time, he wasn't so lucky, and ended up falling asleep in the hallway next to a puddle of vomit.
It's that same black sludge. He breathes over it, staring down and wondering why it still looks like that. He feels a lot better compared to how he did a few days ago, when he was going through the worst of it, and he had assumed at least the majority of the poison had made its way through, if not all of it.
There's a sudden, really sharp pain in his abdomen, and it's bad enough that he can't tell if it's from his wounds or his stomach. It's so bad that he doesn't even care about pressing his forehead against the toilet bowl. His head is spinning. He tries to make sure that he’s actually awake, because his brain still feels like mush. Maybe it’s a weird dream, but the pain is way too intense to be from a dream. It feels like something is searing a hole into his abdomen, just like it did when Jabber impaled him.
He shudders at the reminder.
He's completely still for a few minutes, trying to clear his mind and will that pain away. Breathe. Where is it coming from? His abdominal wound, or his stomach? He needs to think of something to wake himself up a little more and sort things out, but he can’t focus, and the pain takes over and has him throwing up again. Coughing, sputtering, an arm wrapped around his abdomen, praying that some pressure will off-set the pain.
His eyes are burning with tears. He hates this so much.
“Zanka?”
Riyo's voice. It scares him. He didn't have any idea anyone else came in, and he has no clue how long she's been there for. It’s the men’s restroom, so he certainly wasn’t expecting to hear a woman’s voice at all.
He tries to gather himself, but he can’t. Straightening himself out makes him cry out in pain, and lean his forehead back against the toilet bowl. He doesn’t want Riyo to see him like this, but she’s seen him worse off. She’s the one who saved him, after all.
“Sorry for scarin’ ya, Zanka,” she says gently, walking a little closer. He didn’t even register that he hadn’t closed the stall. The door closes, but because Riyo let herself inside.
He wishes he could just shrink himself and disappear. Riyo kneels next to him and lays a hand on his back. He wants to lift his head and make himself a little more presentable, but he can’t come up with the energy to do that right now.
“You okay?” she asks gently. He just makes a noise of discomfort, because it’s all he can really muster. He can’t tell if he’s in pain or he’s just so nauseous that it feels like pain, or both. He wishes he had a few minutes to sort himself out before interacting with anyone, but he’s kind of glad Riyo’s here. She’s the kind of real calm that Zanka strives to be, and maybe that energy will be helpful right now.
After trying to breathe normally for a few more minutes, Zanka decides he’s not in any immediate danger of throwing up again. He flushes what’s there, and sits back against the stall wall, and she sits across from him. There’s gentle concern all over her face, and Zanka can’t bear to see it. He’s sure he looks awful. His eyes trail down.
“‘M all good, Riyo,” he says.
There’s a pause. “You sure?”
“Mhm,” he mumbles. He doesn't really have the energy for a conversation about how he’s feeling. She’ll usually make him tell her if he’s not feeling well, but at least she can see most of it right now. Really, he should probably take that medicine that Eishia gave him for the nausea, but he was trying to see if he would do fine without it. Maybe he’ll feel better now.
“You don’t look good, Z,” she tells him with a little pout. He figured as much.
“Y'heard me? Upstairs?” He asks, hearing his own exhaustion in his voice.
“Just the door. Wanted to make sure everything was okay,” she says. Zanka feels guilty. He hates that she felt obligated to come down here.
“So y’weren't sleepin’ either,” Zanka says.
She just smiles at him.
“Do y'got medicine you can take?” Riyo asks him. She leans forward a little, her hand stretched out to feel his forehead. She brushes his bangs out of the way and lays a hand against his skin. “Hmm…fever.”
“Damn…really?” he murmurs with a groan. That explains why everything feels so fuzzy. He had chalked up to feeling hot as part of the vomiting, but maybe it’s the fever after all. “Uh…yeah, I got some meds from Eishia.”
“It's in your room?” she asks, and Zanka nods as she stands up. “I'll go get it for you, yeah?”
“Thanks, Riyo,” he mumbles. His stomach twists from the guilt. She shouldn’t have to. If he had just taken them regularly, this wouldn’t be a problem. He shouldn’t let pride get in the way of something like that. He knows better, dammit.
He was just hoping he’d feel better. That this would all go away as quickly as it happened, and he could just focus on getting stronger.
He tries to take stable, purposeful breaths while he’s waiting for her to come back. He slides a hand under his shirt to make sure his wound isn’t open, bleeding, infected - it feels dry, mostly healed, scarring over like it should be. It really was just his stomach that was hurting so much, then.
Jabber’s poison had already put him through the wringer with the nausea it caused. It was just a few days ago that he came down from that hallucinogen, throwing up so much from it that he was sore, that Enjin was concerned it would never stop. The substance that came out of him is the same as it was then. It’s like he was drowning in toxic sludge for hours, and he could only bring that up.
He groans, trying not to think about it. It’s nauseating.
The door creaks when Riyo comes back in. She sits down across from him, showing him two capsules, silently asking if they’re the right ones. He nods.
“You think you can stomach the water?” she asks, handing him the bottle she grabbed from his room.
“Think so,” he says, opening it and taking the pills into his hands.
He stares at the pills for several seconds, after initially planning to just swallow them and get on with it. Now that he's thinking about it, he's not really sure if he can stomach it. He still doesn't feel very good, and the more he thinks about swallowing the pills, the more nauseous he feels. He was pretty out of it for the first two or three days after they got back to headquarters, but one thing he remembers very vividly was the vomiting, taking pills, and vomiting again. He doesn’t even remember how long that was, but it felt like it lasted days.
“I think…” he mumbles, but his body has already decided that it’s going to give him a warning for even thinking about swallowing anything right now.
He makes it back over the toilet bowl in time, spitting out mostly saliva this time, but the nausea is really intense. It makes his head hurt, a pressure that he feels from both sides like he’s being crushed. He’s pretty sure he dropped those pills in the process, and he feels Riyo take the water bottle out of his shaking hand.
He doesn’t move, for a few minutes. He just spits out saliva that pools in his mouth from how much his stomach hurts. He wants to take the medication, he just wants to will away the nausea and take them, but thinking about it makes him feel horribly sick, and the memories that come with it makes it even worse.
“Sorry…Riyo,” he murmurs, as he leans his head back down, the movement enough to make everything swim to one side. He doesn’t even realize there’s tears welling up in his eyes again. He can’t tell why, because this isn’t a new feeling. It’s probably everything, just pouring out at once.
“Don't be sorry. If I didn't wanna help, I wouldn't have come in, y'know,” she tells him gently. “You’ll be okay. Promise.”
He’s overtaken by a chill, and Riyo rubs his shoulder. There’s so much warmth in her touch.
Zanka doesn’t think his real sister would have ever extended a kindness like this to him.
…
Riyo isn’t one to worry, but after everything Zanka’s been through this week, this sudden bout of sickness is a little concerning. And now, it looks like it’s bad enough to make him cry.
“Aw, Zan…do you want me to get somebody? Eishia?” she asks, patting his hair, but he shakes his head. She’s sure he just wants to go back to sleep, and maybe some good rest will do him good. She’s sure he’s had enough of all the medical treatment and people attending to him, because he’s never liked that.
He’s at least, outwardly, okay with her company right now.
He looks exhausted. Waking up that nauseous must have been pretty disorienting, and his incomplete sleep is probably catching back up with him, mixed in with how physically straining throwing up has to be right now. Then there’s the fever, too. She almost wants to get Eishia anyway, but Zanka will absolutely hate if Riyo wakes her because of him, this late at night.
At some point, he sits back against the wall of the stall, and trying to take steady breaths again. She’s almost tempted to hand him the water, at least for him to try, but even thinking about it the first time made him so nauseous that he actually threw up. She doesn’t want to trigger that again, but it means he can’t do the one thing that will for sure make him feel better.
She decides she’ll just sit beside him until he’s ready to go back to bed. She won’t be able to sleep if she knows he’s suffering down here anyway.
Things are quiet for a while, and she’s pretty sure that Zanka’s done throwing up. She doesn’t try to offer him water, because that’s definitely pushing it - and either way, he’s still in pain. There’s so much tension in his face and posture that it would be really hard to miss. She wants to make sure it’s not his wound, but she’ll leave him be right now. The first time he was coming down from those toxins, all of this was much worse. The pain from vomiting was so bad that he couldn’t move.
She takes his hand and presses against the inside of his wrist. It's a pressure point for nausea. He's the one who showed it to her. She doesn’t know if it helps, but his breathing definitely changes.
After a while, after she thinks he’s calm enough to go back to bed, she stands up, and taps him. He doesn’t move.
“Zanka?” she says.
Looks like he's fallen asleep.
“C'mon, Zanka. I can't carry you,” she jokes, but she’ll figure it out anyway. She crouches beside him and takes his arm over her shoulders, and the movement wakes him enough that he mostly carries his own weight, but he groans quietly from the pain.
His bedroom is right across the hall, so it isn’t a long walk, and they don’t run into anyone. No one to ask questions.
She gets him back to his bed, and he just sits for a few moments. The movement made him dizzy, she can tell by the way he lists sideways, so Riyo gently guides him back down to bed.
“Can I look? Make sure your injury is healing?” she asks him quietly, and she registers a nod. She lifts his shirt, and he shivers at the feeling of the air against his skin.
It looks okay. It doesn’t look like it should be causing him any severe pain, but it’s definitely still healing. He shouldn’t be doing anything reckless. There’s a lunch meeting scheduled for tomorrow, and she doesn’t even think he should be doing anything like that. He needs to rest his body and let it heal.
“Get some sleep,” she tells him, fixing his hair, but he's already way ahead of her.
…
Riyo wakes up a little late. She doesn’t know what time she ended up wandering back to her room after making sure Zanka was really asleep, but it must have not been very long ago. She feels like she did very little sleeping.
She didn’t hear any more commotion downstairs, after that. Probably a good sign, at least.
She stretches, cleans up her face and fixes up her hair, taking things a little slow. She doesn’t think Zanka will be up for going to this meeting at all. She doesn’t think he would ever say it out loud, but she’s pretty positive that he secretly hates them. He doesn’t like staying still and listening to people drone on about stuff that doesn’t involve him, but everyone else would probably think he finds that stuff important.
She knows lots of things about Zanka that he doesn’t really show to anyone else. Even though they aren’t technically secrets, she feels like she knows a different side of him than he shows to other people. Last night is at least proof that he trusts her with that.
Riyo makes sure to go check on Zanka after she finishes getting ready. She’s pretty sure he hasn’t gotten up yet. He always oversleeps if he goes to bed late, or wakes up in the middle of the night. His body can’t function without his minimum amount of sleep.
Sure enough, she’s right.
Zanka is still under a pile of blankets when she peers into his room downstairs - she made sure she left it unlocked when she left last night, and she knows he didn't get up, because it’s still unlocked. She wanders in a little further, and he doesn’t budge. No sign that he’s awake. Everything looks about the same as it did last night, so she thinks he’s really been asleep the whole time. He didn’t end up taking those pills either - hopefully that just means he didn’t need them.
“How you feelin’, Zan?” she asks him gently, leaning forward, brushing his bangs away from his forehead. He’s still warm, but not as badly warm as last night. His skin’s got a decent color again, too. He just groans in response to her question, but he’s always been bad at waking up.
As long as he doesn’t need medical attention, she’ll let him rest. He figured he wouldn’t be well enough to come on the job today anyway.
“Get some good rest, okay? And make sure you eat something later. If you can,” Riyo tells him quietly. He obviously wasn't up for it last night, but she has to make sure he eats. He's the type of person to avoid eating anything at all if he's nauseous, and he'll do that for days.
She turns and starts to leave, but he makes a sound that sort of sounds like her name, so she stops and turns around.
“‘m sorry,” he mumbles, still half-asleep.
“You said that last night already, silly,” she tells him. “And I still don’t mind, ‘kay?”
She doesn’t know if that will ever get through to him, but she means it.
a character fainting in the middle of being lectured by their captain for something they did wrong, both worrying them and explaining why they'd made the mistake in the first place, is soooooo good
the moment that whumpee and caretaker realize that whumpee is going to die.
maybe whumpee is making the decision to sacrifice themselves.
or maybe they’re lying in caretaker’s arms, bleeding out, and both characters realize at the same time that whumpee isn’t going to make it.
the blood won’t stop.
or the fever won’t break. and whumpee gains a brief moment of lucidity long enough to look at caretaker, flushed and panting, and say “i’m not getting better, am i?”
or the wounds won’t heal. and whumpee has given up fighting. they just lie in bed, frail, and stare at caretaker with a sad smile on their face.
or the curse won’t lift. the poisonous magic keeps eating away at whumpee’s health until they beg caretaker to stop prolonging things and let them go.
or whumpee just won’t wake up. it’s been days of this, head trauma so severe that they’re barely breathing. caretaker kisses whumpee’s forehead and prays that whumpee isn’t aware of what’s happening.
speaking of, it’s really great when caretaker realizes whumpee is going to die before whumpee does.
due to the angle, whumpee can’t see the piece of metal protruding from their stomach after an accident. caretaker holds their hand and assures them that everything is okay, why don’t they just rest, yeah?
or whumpee is bleeding internally, covered in bruises. they ask caretaker to take them to the hospital. there’s no cell service out there, and the hospital is too far away. but caretaker promises anyway.
or whumpee has a hand resting by the knife in their chest. they can’t really breathe well, and blood is soaking their shirt, but they can’t feel anything. they’re awake and talking, assuring caretaker it doesn’t hurt, they feel fine, just a little tired. will caretaker be there when they wake up?
caretaker looks away so whumpee can’t see them crying. “yes, whumpee. i will.”
