No idea what compelled me to log on again 4 years later but I guess an occasional update is a thing i'm gonna try to do now??
Anyway, i am now 26, been in full remission from my intestinal Crohn's for a few years now. That being said I am unfortunately still dealing with a mix of aggressive cutaneous Crohn's and Pyoderma Gangrenosum although things are so much better that it's incomparable to 2017/2018.
On a good note, there have been a lot of positive things. After YEARS AND YEARS of dysphoria i am officially post-transition; i had top surgery which I never thought I'd be able to have in my lifetime, was on testosterone for a few years before reaching the changes I wanted and going on E instead, had a full hysto, changed my name/gender legallly, etc, and i have been well enough to focus on my studies and will be graduating w two AA degrees in May 2025 and transferring to university next fall.. I also seem to have mastered this whole chronic illness shit despite some new diagnoses and rough patches (Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome/Abdominal migraines, i'm looking at you.)
Also... i have very much turned into the person I wanted to be as a teenager. I'm pursuing an education that happens to have a huge focus on social justice and intersectional concepts, I've travelled to places I never even thought I'd go (went to Japan earlier this year!), got sober (almost 1 year strong!), made new friends and reconnected with old ones. It's crazy how easy it is sometimes to overlook and take for granted the fact that I'm living the life I wanted so badly. Also to top it off I have a ton of tattoos now and piercings so thats a slay!!
Anyway, not entirely sure why I'm sharing this but I guess I think it's a good thing to share hope with other people. When I was like 16 I viewed my life as split into 2 time periods: Before Crohn's and After Crohn's. everything just seemed like itd revolve around it forever. I fr never in a million years thought I'd reach such a good level of stability and that each year the Crohnaversaries would matter less and less, despite almost dying a bunch of times and going through a bunch of traumatic stuff that shouldnt have ever happened.
Eternally grateful that despite the immense pain, suffering, learning, and adjusting I am rebuilding myself and putting the pieces together, when I thought I'd always be fragmented. I do not think I would have made it through the worst of it without the support of so many of you who offered kindness and guidance throughout this journey. Thanks if you read this :)
