Penny for your thoughts?
Bedilia being Ruben’s therapist after Niall leaves for college.
Meeting with him to discuss things…Ruben somtimes says nothing- sometimes he wanders in her office while talking about some random bird that blew him or how Niall’s probably getting lonely at the big wig school without him .
Other times he’ll stand at the window and look outside and reveal half truths of things he’d rather forget.
Bedilia entertains Ruben, and brushes off his aggressive episodes. She circles back to Niall and the relationship Ruben has with him.
Ruben: “ I kinni think what the shagger is up to right now heh-“ ….” It’s a Wednesday, he’d have his nose shoved right between an old book about some king who canne die …or something”
Ruben laughs to himself and looks away, in contemplation for the fondness of a memory of Wednesdays that no longer happen. He breathes in ignoring the thought of Niall’s absence
“Hmm”
Bedilia looks at Ruben, continues to smile but her eyes always apathetically shielded. Ruben can tell she’s not a daft woman. Not from their first session together when he broke one of her vases and she simply sat there watching Ruben like a dog pawing at a toy. Only thing she ended up saying was “ Thank you, it was hideous and didn’t match the drapes”
Since then Ruben realised his temperaments didn’t scare her so he kept coming back. This American blonde was an odd one but she never batted an eye out his outbursts. Never treated him like a wee babe who needed a tit for a sucker either- Niall would like Bedillia he thought.
Bedilia watching Ruben, while Ruben looks off somewhere else. “Do you find Niall’s abscence to be natural?”
“Natural? You mad woman? No it ain’t natural- it’s off balance what it is.” Ruben points to the outside the outer realm of what is not in his domain of control. That thought upsets him
“He’s my brother. My brother, he’s mine to watch you hear.”
Bedilia has noted the past few sessions there has been a pattern. Ruben will mention sex- it has become a routine for him who sucked what, who fucked what and how good Ruben was giving it. but then Ruben will suddenly mention Mr. Niall Kennedy without a Caviat or mention from Bedilia. Ruben leads the conversation to Niall like clock work. Sex and Niall Kennedy.
This has dominated every conversation.
“Niall’s leave to University has made things increasingly uncomfortable for you. Is this why you find yourself seeking out more “birds” as you say to fill in the empty space that Niall once Filled?”
Ruben made dead eye contact with Bedilia. His lips quivered a small amount, just enough for Bedilia to catch in the corner of her eyes.
Ruben said nothing, continued to sit in silence for what felt like minutes but only a few small seconds passed.
He sat and thought and breathed.
His body could at least do the basics since he suddenly lost the ability for words
“..hmm” no words still.
Just breathing and a grunt.
Bedilia knew what this meant having become familiar to Ruben’s non verbal communication style.
This was an agreement to bedillia’s conclusion. No more would be said from Ruben in this moment. They would continue to sit in silence.
Bedilia patiently waits,
Ruben would not vocalize his thoughts. He realized early on he can spend an entire session in Silence and Bedilia wouldn’t push.
She would wait
Ruben never knew patience like that existed.
