Chimney flinches hard and sends his coffee mug skittering across his desk. Thankfully, he’d finished the thing at least an hour ago, and only a few drops sprayed across the accumulated paperwork. He glances around his office.
His empty office. That he’d come into after an early breakfast and worked in, alone, as the sounds of the firehouse waking up for the day grew louder outside his closed door.
He blinks, hard. He rubs his eyes. No sign of Tommy Kinard, despite what his sleep-deprived brain may have tried to convince him.
“It’s your turn.”
He doesn’t flinch this time, but he does let out several vehement curses under his breath. He’s rather proud of his restraint, seeing as how his friend has just materialized in the chair across the desk from him.
Without opening the door.
Although he’s handsome and put together as always, he’s also a bit insubstantial. Like he’s not really real.
“Son of bitch, did you die, Kinard? Oh, this is,” Chimney grimaces. “You can’t do this to Buck, buddy.”
Tommy’s lips thin into a little line. “No, I don’t think I’m dead yet.”
“What did you mean, it’s my turn?”
“You saved me in that strip mall. I got - got the lab. You’re up.”
Chim feels the first responder in him take over. Ghost or not, Tommy needs help. He asks the right questions, gets Tommy’s location (deep at the bottom of a ravine he’d slipped into while solo hiking, idiot) and status (probable concussion, possible broken cheekbone, sprained or maybe dislocated knee, idiot).
He’s nodding along with Tommy’s description until the man stops and swallows hard. His voice is choked, and Chim hopes it’s with emotion and not that his lungs are compromised when he says, “Evan shouldn’t have to see me like this.”
Chim watches as the image of Tommy across from him starts to fade, flickering like a bad Star Wars transmission. “Tommy? Why me? I’ll do everything I can, you know I will, but Buck would tear down the world to get to you if he could see you, hear this from you.”
“I tried,” Tommy admits. “I think it’s the life debt. I have no idea how I’m doing this? But I’m glad it’s you, Howie.”
His eyes flutter, and right before he fades from sight, Chim gets a glimpse of the extent of his injuries. His face is covered in blood, dirt and scratches cover his arms and legs. Chim shoves up from his desk, already grabbing for his radio to dispatch. His team was heading out.
Chimney flinches hard and sends his coffee mug skittering across his desk. Thankfully, he’d finished the thing at least an hour ago, and only a few drops spray across the accumulated paperwork. He glances around his office.
His empty office. That he’d come into after an early breakfast and worked in, alone, as the sounds of the firehouse waking up for the day grew louder outside his closed door.
He blinks, hard. He rubs his eyes. No sign of Tommy Kinard, despite what his sleep-deprived brain may have tried to convince him.
“It’s your turn.”
He doesn’t flinch this time, but he does let out several vehement curses under his breath. He’s rather proud of his restraint, seeing as how his friend has just materialized in the chair across the desk from him.
Without opening the door.
Although he’s handsome and put together as always, he’s also a bit insubstantial. Like he’s not really real.
“Son of bitch, did you die, Kinard? Oh, this is,” Chimney grimaces. “You can’t do this to Buck, buddy.”
Tommy’s lips thin into a little line. “No, I don’t think I’m dead yet.”
“What did you mean, it’s my turn?”
“You saved me in that strip mall. I got - got the lab. You’re up.”
Chim feels the first responder in him take over. Ghost or not, Tommy needs help. He asks the right questions, gets Tommy’s location (deep at the bottom of a ravine he’d slipped into while solo hiking, idiot) and status (probable concussion, possible broken cheekbone, sprained or maybe dislocated knee, idiot).
He’s nodding along with Tommy’s description until the man stops and swallows hard. His voice is choked, and Chim hopes it’s with emotion and not that his lungs are compromised when he says, “Evan shouldn’t have to see me like this.”
Chim watches as the image of Tommy across from him starts to fade, flickering like a bad Star Wars transmission. “Tommy? Why me? I’ll do everything I can, you know I will, but Buck would tear down the world to get to you if he could see you, hear this from you.”
“I tried,” Tommy admits. “I think it’s the life debt. I have no idea how I’m doing this? But I’m glad it’s you, Howie.”
His eyes flutter, and right before he fades from sight, Chim gets a glimpse of the extent of his injuries. His face is covered in blood, dirt and scratches cover his arms and legs. Chim shoves up from his desk, already grabbing for his radio to dispatch. His team was heading out.
idk who needs to hear this but it’s healthier for you to just accept that you’re gonna be kinda fat than it is to live the rest of your life miserably trying to monitor yourself to maintain a skinny weight your body doesn’t want to hold onto
“nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” what feels even better is living a life where your self-worth isn’t entirely dependent on your thinness and you don’t constantly monitor and shame yourself. attaching the tweet that was worth at least five hours of therapy for me
i just saw a post encouraging various fanfiction habits (like going through bookmarks, leaving comments, etc.), saying they're not weird, don't worry, keep fanfiction culture alive! and i totally agree with the sentiment, but i also want to add:
fanfiction is weird. writing it is weird, reading it is weird, gushing about it to your friends is weird! it's a weird hobby, it wasn't even that long ago that most people wouldn't dare mention it to real-life acquaintances, and in some circles it can STILL have social consequences to admit. many people don't spend hours of their day thinking about The Character, or putting blorbo in a blender, or imagining themselves in fantastical situations.
BE WEIRD! unlearn shame! you share the proud tradition of a weird subculture defined by love and passion and community--one that goes back decades, if not more. embrace the weird and stop letting fear of being shamed get in the way of what YOU enjoy. be weird!!
louferrignojr: Mom & Dad couldn’t keep me off THIS pole! They did their best but this is my life and how I choose to live it. 🚨👨🚒🔥💦 #onthepole #liveyourdream #firefighter #art #911 #seeyouagain #soon #pole #poledancing (x)
Knight Buck & Tommy stickers for the wonderful @setmeatopthepyre because what else could you possibly gift the author of a bucktommy knights AU when you meet them at a ren fair?
Everytime I Try To Fly (I Fall) by @typicalopposite (typicalopposite on AO3)
Summary:
They tried to tell him. They tried to warn him. He let his own inner voices be louder than the ones who were pleading with him to look at the damage he was causing. Then when he finally decides to listen… It's too late.
hello hi hello i heard it was torturing tommy kinard hours. he’s trapped in a hot elevator with his ex (buck) and his ex’s ex (dealers choice) for hours with nothing to do but talk about their feelings (he’d rather die) (seriously he’s literally in hell)
It has to be Taylor, doesn't it? Because they match. This is Tommy's POV, and Evan and Taylor match. They've got the eyes and the smiles and the cheeks. They look great together, they look like the heterosexual dream. Both kind (he's assuming here about Taylor) and driven and passionate about their jobs. (Tommy is making a lot of assumptions about someone he has only seen on TV, but the elevator is really hot and he's also maybe having a little break from reality, seeing Evan for the first time in a long time.)
The smiles are awkward, but it doesn't make them less gorgeous, and Tommy keeps thinking their children would never stop smiling. They would come out smiling and well adjusted, and Tommy is for some reason imagining Evan as some sort of house husband, even though Evan wouldn't like that at all, and their jobs don't exactly allow for the picture in Tommy's head, where Evan has dinner ready, when his hot wife comes home from the office, but whatever. This is the future he has imagined for Evan. He doesn't have to deal with the gay stuff, he gets to live a normal life, that maybe veers a little bit too hard into the kind of world those assholes on TV keep trying to force everyone to do, but it's easy, right? If you do what society tells you, you get rewarded, and if anyone deserves to be rewarded, it's Evan.
The two of them never sat down and discussed their exes at length, but Tommy has heard about Taylor a few times – and never the bad stuff, so surely, they could get back together. Evan introduced her as his ex, but it didn't sound like it meant anything. Evan introduced him as just Tommy, so maybe they're skipping the whole ex thing.
But Evan gets nervous and doesn't stop talking, and suddenly Evan outs himself to his ex, who doesn't look surprised at all. (I don't think you can have adventorous sex with someone and not notice certain things.) Suddenly Taylor is interested in him and sweat starts pouring down his back.
Taylor asks why they broke up and Evan explains it to her, but he explains it wrong, and Tommy is going to die here anyway, so he might as well set the record straight. Evan and Taylor are going to survive this, they're way too pretty to die. But then Evan gets upset, because he thinks Tommy is in the wrong, and OK, they're good at bickering. Fighting? Less so. The elevator is too small to contain their emotions, which, at this point, Tommy would like for the cables to break and plummet them to their deaths. It would be a novel way to go for a firefighter. Nothing is even on fire.
But then he looks at the number above the door and they're only on the fourth floor and there's no basement, so they probably wouldn't die.
Suddenly Taylor Kelly's hand is on his arm and Taylor Kelly's face tells him to breathe. Which is probably a good idea. Seems like he stopped doing that. She's a very pretty woman, no wonder Evan is into her. Not all that dissimilar to Abby, actually. With the hair and the eyes.
And Tommy isn't that. Tommy isn't a beautiful, redheaded woman with small hands and a good attitude.
When Tommy's vision clears up and the walls stop closing in, he sees Evan sitting in the opposite corner, looking upset.
”Are you OK?” Evan asks him and Tommy can't exactly be honest, can he? Tommy has aged approximately twenty years, since he walked away. Everything hurts, he doesn't remember what happiness feels like. Evan has aged in reverse, looking more beautiful than ever. He's bigger than before, which looks like a healthy mix of fat and muscle.
The kind of body kids would love. Soft for cuddles and strong enough to throw them around – nevermind the fact that Evan told him he has no desire to become a parent. Tommy had helped babysit Jee-Yun one time – only the once – and Evan had leaned into him and told him how exciting it was to hold her for the first time, and how ecstatic he was that he wasn't taking her home; that she wasn't his.
But that doesn't fit the narrative in Tommy's head, and he's managed to convince himself that half the memories of their relationship are fake anyway, and it wasn't actually as good as he remembers.
Part of him wants to be honest, since he doesn't expect to see Evan after this (whether he dies or not), but he can't tell his ex and his ex's ex that he's regretted the breakup since the moment the door to Evan's loft closed behind him. Or maybe the moment the words left his mouth. Even as he said them, he knew he didn't mean it.
”I'm fine,” Tommy says.
”Right,” Evan nods. ”Because you look fine.”
And OK, Tommy has a type, and a lot neuroses, and Evan being catty always gets him going, even now, apparently. ”I get claustrophobic.”
”No, you don't.”
”It's hot in here.”
”You're a firefighter.”
Tommy is not a patient man. He shoves down all the nicknames that would probably hurt a lot and puts on a grimace, that could maybe pass as a smile, and says, ”I'm uncomfortable. I'd like to get out of here.”
Evan calls dispatch again, but the situation hasn't changed. There are several big emergencies going on at the moment, and they're safe, so they're not currently a priority.
They sit in agonising silence for a while. Taylor is by far handling it better than the two of them. Evan is still pouty and upset, but seems to be behaving, beacuse of Taylor. As much as he's telling himself he wouldn't, the way Evan is looking at him tells him that Evan would be so far up his ass right now, if they were alone.
And maybe he longs for that, a little bit. Maybe it would be nice if Evan lost it a little bit and got demanding. But Taylor seems nice and maybe she never found out she was dating a crazy person.
Tommy misses dating a crazy person. He misses Evan like a limb. His life is so fucking boring and empty. They're too far from Harbor, but Tommy knows at least two people currently on shift, who'd go rogue if he called. It was his first thought, when no one answered the emergency button, and 911 said they were on hold, but Tommy is also a crazy person, who wouldn't mind figuring out what would happen, if he got locked in a room with Evan. Too bad his nervous system is a little bitch, who can't handle the heat.
It's so hot in the elevator, Tommy can feel his eyeballs sweating.
”It was me, OK?” Tommy blurts, when Evan won't stop pouting. ”I broke it off, because I thought you weren't fully in it.”
”I asked you to move in!” Evan explodes.
”We don't know each other! But I wanted to. I wanted to know you, Evan. I wanted to keep getting to know you.”
Evan's lip wobbles for a second, before he bites down on it. He glances at Taylor, and tucks himself more tightly into the corner. ”I wanted that, too.”
Taylor is sitting in the third corner, trying to do the math and figure out what the hell happened, because so far, it sounds pretty stupid. She asks how they met and Evan tells her about the hurricane. Tommy clocks the professional interest immediately, but she probably can't sell the story so long after the fact.
Taylor is kind to Evan, tells him she's not surprised he would like someone like Tommy. Which is a crazy thing for your ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend to say, even if Evan doesn't seem to think so.
Nothing gets solved in the elevator. They talk in fits and starts, all three of them, but nothing gets off the ground. When it's finally their turn to get rescued, they're like three cats in a pillowcase.
As they get checked for heat stroke, Evan has reached peak pout. Tommy is worse off than the other two, and spends a long few minutes sitting in the ambulance, until Evan comes over and tells him, ”She dumped me, so stop looking at her like that.”
”Like what?”
”Like I'm about to get on the back of her motorcycle.”
It takes Tommy entirely too long to understand that the motorcycle isn't literal.
”I dumped you, too.”
”Yeah, but you didn't mean it,” Evan huffs. ”She did.”
Tommy's whole body is drenched in sweat and he's pretty sure he's going to pass out, if he attempts to stand up. ”I didn't mean it?” Evan is standing in the worst spot, with the sun right behind his head, and Tommy thinks he might throw up.
”No,” Evan says firmly. ”You're dumb. And mentally ill. And … And I should've called you.”
The medic passes Tommy a bottle of water, which he gulps down. He reaches out for Evan's hip and pushes him to the side, so he blocks the sun better, and Evan grabs the chance to hold his hand. His clammy, disgusting hand that has been touching the floor of an elevator for the better part of a day.
The medic hands him a second bottle, cap already off. Tommy sips this one. Maybe the hospital would be a good idea, but he's really not in the mood for it.
”Did you drive here?” Evan asks.
”I did.”
”Let me take you home? I'll make sure you don't die.”
Tommy turns to the medic and tells her, ”I'm not as old as I look.” She doesn't care.
”Come on, old man. You can complain all the way home, if you want. Or pass out. Whatever you're in the mood for.”
”And then what?”
”And then I'll corner you in your own home, where you can't escape.”
maybe together we can get somewhere by @the-amber-raven (Polish_Amber on AO3)
Summary:
Tommy has always been able to see ghosts.
Usually, they stick around for a few days or weeks, maybe several months before they get what they need to move on. There was one ghost, however, who appeared when Tommy was young and seemed to be unable to get the closure he needed to let go and so he just… never left.
He got used to it, after a while, and Daniel became a consistent companion throughout his life.
–
Or, the one where Tommy can see ghosts and is haunted by Daniel Buckley for reasons it takes him almost thirty years to understand.
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caught in this denial (tell me the day, I’ll say no more) by @thatmexisaurusrex (Writer_Lethogica on AO3)
Summary:
Tommy Kinard's life changes for the better when his old friend Chimney calls him out of the blue for help on a rescue and he meets the adorably awkward Evan "Buck" Buckley.
EXCERPT:
Was this man looking down to see the hand or – no. No. Tommy knew it couldn’t be checking out. That wasn’t happening here.
The guy took Tommy’s hand and shook it. Kept shaking it as he said, “Evan! Evan Buckley. Or Buck. Whatever you, uh. Want to call me is fine.”
And it wouldn’t hurt to be a little friendly, could it? Evan didn’t seem to mind as Tommy leaned only a touch closer, looking into the man’s unwavering eyes as Tommy asked, “Are you sure you don’t have a preference, Evan?”
That.
That wasn’t blush. That wasn’t bashfulness as Evan’s eyes turned away. This had to be what Evan always sounded like as he mumbled at the ground, still shaking Tommy’s hand, “Evan’s fine.”
6, 11, 13, 15 for the fic recs questions please! <3!
hope you enjoy!
11. hidden gem
Uncrossing the Stars (18096 words) by GlassRose @agirlwithachakram
One thing that I really enjoy as fandoms get “older” is the percentage of magical AUs gets higher as authors are finding new ways to play with their guys. This one with succubus (but didn’t know that was a thing!) Buck and [spoilers] Tommy is a great one! I loved the ways that *what* they are has so much influence on how they are together and the differences from their canon counterparts’ actions and reactions they have. and in other ways, not, because it’s still Buck and Tommy, fears and jealousy and all. Perfect happy ending too!
15. A rec just because:
zen and the art of stealing helicopters (28600 words) by CamrynBarnes @apollabarnes
I didn’t see (or maybe didn’t read) as much Bobby lives fix it as I thought I would, but this sustained me nicely! An exploration of Athena and Tommy’s friendship in the wake of the breakup through the (alternate) lab rats and aftermath (and rekindled bucktommy relationship). Maybe I just really love when people like Tommy, you know? Very excellent Athena throughout. Highly recommended!
Hi there! Looking forward to answering your ask tonight when I’m not on my phone…but in the meantime I will ask for you to please rec me something for 7? 🥰
Hiiii and thank you for the ask!
7. Recommend a fic that uses a trope you love.
Oh man I LOVE time loop stories! They always seem to find some new and interesting things and I love love love them. And this is one of the cream of the crop of time loop stories:
Because of course I have to pick @dharmaavocado’s Pretend All the Good Things are for You (Pretend All the Good Things are for Me Too)
It's got 194 bookmarks so I can't imagine anyone needs me to rec this but I'm gonna! There's so much to love: Tommy in the torment nexus, some beautiful world building, and one of the most bittersweet/heartbreaking/frustrating/lovely attempts to break out of a time loop that comes to mind. (I wish I could draw because there's this very specific mental image of the jeep in the parking lot and the headlights and the glare and the open door and just the hint of the shape of Evan…)
It's just… it's just So. I love it. I've read it several times and had to struggle not to reread it again now because it's 48k and I wanted to actually get this responded to in a timely manner.
Anyway! Everyone has already read this because it's wonderful and it probably (hopefully) gets recced a lot but go read it again because it's magnificent.
so. This was going to be in MY reply to YOU for both 6 (format or structure with the flashbacks slowly revealing Tommy’s ability) AND 13 (fic I reread often)!
because, yes! I couldn’t agree more. It always deserves more recs ❤️❤️❤️❤️
