ཐིlynཋྀ @silentqrl - Tumblr Blog

I adore you without knowing how or why. Running to the station to reach the train you’re on so you’re not alone. can’t stand you being on your own. The sky is painted black now and I look at your reflection in the window. I wonder what you think. wish i had a window to your eyes or a key to your mind even if it’s filled with things i don’t wanna hear. I’ll replace the stairs with two chairs, one for you, the other for me. We both forget about the party we’re at and start talking about art. you tell me about your favourite artist, showing me your favourites on your phone that you hand to me so i get a better look. All I could see was your face in every piece. I saw you stumble out of the taxi cab and without thinking i open my door, hoping you gravitate towards me like a magnet. I still don’t know which house you went to but i left my bed for you and slept on the floor in case you changed your mind. I’m cold and no one is here. wish your world would come to me instead. Do you feel any love or just an empty bed? Why do you crave violence? should i pretend to be angry at you because that’s the only way you feel loved?

She doesn’t know but her essence stained my mind, her words plastered over walls in my room and I cannot tell her this because it is wrong of me to. I can laugh to myself or cry because it’s easy to love her in a way that’s so blind. How do i tell her that her existence tears me apart from the inside out and how her broken smile sticks needles in my brain. Maybe if i had not seen the sun it wouldn’t darken me. Hate the way she shines sometimes. Planted myself to this suffering. Attachment to her is treachery to me.

aoi from the gazette

shadows cannot be helped, they will continue to follow you he said. we think shadows are someone else, the devil perhaps, that we put the blame onto. You hate yourself because the devil wants you to. the devil is the reason for your suffering. you hate yourself because you have no other choice. the only choice you have is to believe this is the devils fault. because if it was yours, it would mean you created this hell that you so desperately want to run away from. How can you run away from yourself? how can yourself run away from you?

bakemonogatarii

“Life and death. Energy and peace. If I stopped today, it was still worth it. Even the terrible mistakes that I have made and would have unmade, if I could. The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul. It was worth it for having been allowed to walk where I've walked, which was to hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, though it, in it and above”

-Gia Carangi

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tranquildeath

quotes from before sunrise that stuck out to me:

‘i always saw the world as this place where i really wasn’t meant to be.’

‘i love the way people seem to be dissolving in the background.’

‘there’s a lot of good things coming out of conflict.’

‘daydream delusion, limousine eyelash / oh baby with your pretty face / drop a tear in my wineglass / look at those big eyes / see what you mean to me / sweet-cakes and milkshakes / i'm a delusion angel / i'm a fantasy parade / i want you to know what i think / don't want you to guess anymore / you have no idea where i came from / we have no idea where we're going / lodged in life / like branches in a river / flowing downstream / caught in the current / i carry you / you'll carry me / that's how it could be / don't you know me? / don't you know me by now?’

‘but loving someone… and being loved means so much to me. i always make fun of it and stuff… but isn’t everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?’

‘i think i’d rather die knowing that i was really good at something, that i had excelled in some way.’

‘his life was for no one and nothing.’

‘if there was any kind of god, it wouldn’t be in any of us - not u or me - but just this little space in between.’

‘if there’s any kind of magic in this world, it must be in the attempt of understanding someone, sharing something.’

‘i like to feel his eyes on me when i’m not looking.’

‘the only person i could really hurt is myself.’

‘i just wanted to be a ghost, completely anonymous .’

‘we’re all each others angels and demons.’

‘it must be like i’m in ur dream and ur in mine.’

‘everything is so finite.’

‘i can’t stop thinking that way, it’s exhausting. it’s really exhausting.’

my legs had become weak like someone had replaced my bones with the weight of the world