Silk Pigeon

to my love in earnest Previously: the progression of unrequited love stories

[silkpigeon]

roast potatoes

Tonight I feel sick

I reach for tissues, you roast the chicken.

We sit on the floor and watch the oven

wondering is that what they did before tv or tiktok

I stare at the potatoes, oily with fat

They say a watched pot never boils

I don’t mind, I will stay here

watching potatoes

[silkpigeon]

love

Summer morning, or early spring

i awakening, you busying

morning coffee, shower running

thank you, my lovely

looking at me, lusting me,

hand on my hip, I still sleeping

you reading in bed, happy

i love you, dearest lover

never letting me carry heavy things,

and carrying me home (indulgently)

when i love you ever so much

our hearts soaring, giddy love

listening, when all i need is to speak

never lying, and never needing to

wanting the best for me, and being patient

going above and beyond, caring.

picking out books i might like

knowing my fears and resolving to conquer them

holding me close, cancelling plans

loving me, all, always

[silkpigeon]

And I love you, love you

Days into months, I do.

I do becomes I always

I will whispers between I do’s.

Future do’s in the blue eyes of my daughter

And the ambling walk of our son

Mirrored back, the future is clear crystal

We hold it four handed against the sun

Hoping I love you catches enough light,

prism rainbow light, reddening into purple

[silkpigeon]

“I think we could do it if we tried”

But I don’t want to try

I don’t know why

I’m sorry

I am crying in my heart

And I love you

“You’re mine”

A part

[silkpigeon]

I left you

In choked breath

My doorway

Your shaky exhale

Our unbearable anguish

Shut the door

Disbelieving

A quiet ending

[silkpigeon]

I want to love you

I don’t know if I can

[silkpigeon]

Have your thoughts thought of me since?

Have you wondered?

Have you wandered?

Instagram

Facebook

LinkedIn

Mutual friends

How are you?

How is she getting on?

That girl, that’s the one

How is she getting on?

I wonder what she’s up to now

I hope you’d like to know

[silkpigeon]

You still take my breath away

From afar

From chance encounters

And thinking too much

Too fast

Once upon a time

Too early

Now we are

Lost to memory

Dust

[silkpigeon]

I hadn’t seen, I hadn’t thought of you

Days, months and years

And the power of manifestation…

Well it must be true

For a three day hangover, it had me thinking of you

And then there you were

Movie like once again

Stomach knots

Nausea

A deep knowledge of being unwashed

A chance occurrence I missed you

Missed my regular stop, missed your anxious glance and stumbling deep breath and penetrance

But I didn’t miss your face

In crystal clear motion

As the train rolled up

And on

Again

[silkpigeon]

The uncertain horizon is agnostic and these depths of an unpure temperature. The bog breath stinks of fish. This House is no longer sanctifying; the walls seem to be but sticks. I pray it hold out the storm, not wishing to look within nor beyond. It is whispered they have houses of bricks afar but I do not like their cold hard exterior and I fear their certain trap, yet I live in a house of sticks and I do not like the storm outside either. I go to bed, close my mind and pray remit or relapse

[silkpigeon]

In all the world

Of all the things

There is nothing that I cannot see

Without seeing love

Love, or lack of often,

Of fierce hearts, of broken,

Of shivering, sacred bones.

The world is afire with something,

It burns hot. Touch. Connect. Love.

[silkpigeon]

If I can be whatever I want to be, can I be the one you fall in love with?

[silkpigeon]

let me exist without you

[silkpigeon]

The way you look at me

I have no defence

I never had a chance

I’ll say yes

Always

You don’t have to ask

I wish you would

I don’t remember speaking

I remember how I felt

And there was no one else

There is never anyone else

You introduced me to your friend

He’s smart, like you

You said

I don’t remember that boy’s name

I don’t even know his face

But I remember your smirk

in a moment

And how my heart fluttered

And I don’t even know his face

[silkpigeon]

You are part of two now

And I am not of you

But you are still of me

[silkpigeon]

I’m still buried in longing

I can’t believe I tried to kiss you last night

I can’t believe even more

That this time

(For the first time)

You didn’t let me

[silkpigeon]

Cleanse me of your touch

The burn of your gaze

Wash from me the taste of your lips