Shakes the Starkid Fandom by the sholders. BILL is Paul's best friend. Not Ted. Paul babysat ALICE for BILL. He offers to get BILL a caramel frappe from Beanies. He's comfortable with BILL. BILL is his friend. BILL. BILL WOODWARD. WILLIAM WOODWARD WHO IS PLAYED BY ACTOR COREY DORRIS. HE IS PAUL'S BFF.
if u dont mind, can i req a fic of dark cacao raising dark choco, caramel arrow and crunchy chip in their early childhood? like the oldest of them in which you hc is a kid and the youngest is an infant?
btw i love your finanarrow fic, love cacao straight up adopting carrow and then proceed to death threats financier
have a great day!
THE KING AND HIS CHILDREN
─── ∘°❉°∘ ───
One biological son, one adopted daughter and one boy he fished from the dumpsters have been living with their king, the ‘man of ice’ who has ‘never shown emotion’.
Naturally, chaos ensues.
A/N: This was supposed to be a lot longer but my screentime made me quit early grrr
─── ∘°❉°∘ ───
Dark Cacao Cookie woke up early in the morning, which was very usual for him. What was not usual, however, were the screams that were coming from his downstairs kitchen. He opened his eyes, blinked, processed, and jumped out of bed to race downstairs.
He was met with a cloud of smoke and high-pitched screeching that seemed to come from his children.
“Don’t put the blanket on it, you moron!” A voice screamed, likely belonging to the oldest, Caramel Arrow Cookie. “It’ll only make it worse! We’re going to wake up father!”
Dark Cacao closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and counting to ten, just as his therapist told him to do. He got to three before shouldering the children away.
A flame that would’ve reached the ceiling if it wasn’t for the roof of the microwave was quickly put out by Dark Cacao throwing a bowl of water at it. Two seconds of silence, and the kitchen erupted with noise.
Dark Choco, who had made it to three years old without being in a life-or-death situation, had burst into tears and was screaming at the top of his little lungs, Caramel Arrow was trying to explain the situation, Crunchy Chip was screaming absolute nonsense and Dark Cacao’s ears were ringing.
“I didn’t do anything, I swear!” Caramel Arrow said loudly, gesturing wildly at Crunchy Chip. “He did, it’s always him! You need to put him back where you found him!”
“What?!” Crunchy Chip squeaked indignantly. “‘T’wasn’t, I swear! Dad, you gotta believe me, please don’t put me back there!”
“Nobody’s getting put back,” Dark Cacao sighed, opening a window to let the spoke out before rubbing his temples. “Please do tell me what in the world you were thinking.”
“I am so glad you asked,” Caramel Arrow started seriously. “You know, Crunchy Chip had this brilliant idea–”
“It wasn’t my idea, you came up with-!”
“Oh, that’s funny, because I could’ve sworn-”
“Silence!”
The teenagers fell quiet, staring at Dark Cacao with big eyes. The king had rarely raised his voice at them, not for things like this.
“I don’t care who did what,” Dark Cacao said with another deep sigh. “I want to know why my kitchen caught on fire. What were you doing? And why did you involve Dark Choco? He just learned that Dire Cream Wolves are not his friends, I’d like to go a year or two without a phobia for cooking.”
“We were baking something,” Crunchy Chip said, his voice uncharacteristically small.
“Why? Why on Earth?” Dark Cacao’s voice was becoming increasingly more exasperated.
“..it’s father’s day tomorrow,” Caramel Arrow muttered. “We wanted to do something fun.”
Dark Cacao was silent for a few seconds, processing. That was sweet. Why was it on fire?
“Why did you light it on fire?” Dark Cacao asked aloud. “There is literally no reason for it to catch on fire. None. Nada.”
“The wrapping said we had to bake it for one hour at 180°C, so we figured baking it for one minute at 1800°C would speed up the process,” Crunchy Chip said wisely.
Dark Cacao leaned back against the counter, ran his hand through his hair and let out a near-hysterical chuckle. “You cannot seriously be that stupid. I refuse to believe it. I caught you reading my advanced literature last night. You cannot truly have believed that.”
“I’m not that stupid!” Crunchy Chip said unsurely. “Right..? Do you really think I’m stupid..”
“No,” Dark Cacao shook his head with yet another sigh, “I know you’re not stupid. You just do stupid things, sometimes. You can stop grinning, Caramel Arrow, I know you can be a little less responsible behind my back than you are to my face.”
Dark Choco babbled incomprehensibly, reaching upwards with his chubby little hands. Caramel Arrow let out a betrayed noise behind them.
“Sweet mother of the Lord above,” Dark Cacao whispered, picking Dark Choco up from the ground. “So smart, and so stupid. Can you believe this, little knight? You’re going to have to protect your siblings later, it seems.”
Dark Choco tugged at Dark Cacao’s hair with another babble, his maroon eyes gleaming.
In which Truthless Recluse doesn’t experience rebirth and awakening upon shattering his soul jam, but the explosion of his and Shadow Milk Cookie’s combined power in a twisted space where all time coexists as one sends him back in time to his childhood.
When Pure Vanilla Cookie searches for his lost sheep, he finds a lost shepherd to take home as well.
I've said a couple times already that I wanted to make corrupted Golden Cheese Cookie as well, so here's what I've been working on (might tweak some things later idk)
Basically the idea is that at some point (still working out some of the details) her and Burning Spice made a deal that as long as she can keep him entertained, whether that be through fighting him or joining in on the destruction he's causing, he'll refrain from destroying her kingdom (Mostly based on the fact she outright told Burning Spice she doesn't care about the world and only cares about her treasures)
She's also developed some serious anger issues and takes all her frustrations out on Burning Spice
And she has insect wings now because I can't think of anything more fitting for a corruption arc than going from a winged goddess to a lowly cockroach (also a little nod to those insect beast beta designs)
andulkaphoto
annaxmalina
prguitarman
stormborns
gummygunk
baratheonpilled
ellievsbear
snowghoul
