I've had this side blog almost as long as I have had my main (if you really want to know it, send me a message). It has been used for irl stuff sometimes and other things but never fully in regular usage.
I've been taking a social media hiatus (from the main apps: IG, Twit, Bsky, FB, etc) and returned to blogging long form like I used to before joining and utilizing Twit, FB, etc., a decade or so ago. It's been cathartic and peaceful and I plan to continue once my hiatus is fully complete.
Anyhow, my plan is to use this as a mirror for all of my posts on my Dreamwidth blog from here on out. All older posts will be on DW but anything new will be shared on this blog from here on out. This includes fanfic or books I read (some of the more NSFW will remain on DW) as well as poetry, and whatever else.
I could just have used my main tumblr, but it's been all mostly fandom stuff and there is 27k posts and reblogs and I wanted to use something less busy, I guess lol.
So if you decide to stay, cool. If not, that's cool too. I'll be here, just doing what I do.
really tired of being governed by a death cult undergoing mass psychosis who thinks its their duty to bring about the apocalypse and im not being hyperbolic
no one will ever convince me that the us carpet bombing a country is the solution to anything and its genuinely disturbing that it has become so thoroughly normalized in the minds of many let alone viewed as a desirable action and not something deeply fundamentally wrong
I’m seeing a bunch of posts that make me think most USAmericans don’t know about The No Surprises Act.
It was passed in 2021 (thank you Biden) and essentially states that if you don’t have insurance or your insurance doesn’t cover a service you need (or want) you are entitled to a Good Faith Estimate of the cost of care. (If your insurance does cover the service, you should be able to estimate the cost of care based on your deductible and co-pay.)
As a healthcare provider who does not accept any insurance, I am very careful to not violate The No Surprises Act. Why? Because for every penny more than $400 that the Good Faith Estimate was “off” (or if it wasn’t provided), you are entitled to a refund for that amount.
Y’all. Ask for a Good Faith Estimate. Get it in writing. Compare it to what you are paying. If you are not provided an estimate or if it’s wrong by more than $400, demand a refund.
I’m reforging this for the second time in five minutes because I needed to add that part of this is also about what your health insurance provider is required to do. They’re required to tell you what your out of pocket cost will be. If you contact them and they say actually they don’t know but your copay is X%, you can ask them to call the provider and get the codes they plan to use to bill for your services. If the provider is in network they’ll have negotiated rates in place so the insurer will know exactly how much you can be charged for that service and then they have to tell you. No surprise huge medical bills even if you are insured.
Adding onto this. If you have a surgical procedure that involves anesthesia, the No Surprises Act also accounts here. Most anesthesia companies/providers are OON (out of network) with most, if not all insurances. If your service is performed in an in-network facility, they are REQUIRED to bill as in-network due to this law.
The fun thing about Queer as an identifier is they cant chop you off or reorganize you into obscurity. Queer is for everyone. You cant cut the T off of a Q.
Legitimately this is exactly why “queer is a slur” is a TERF dog whistle. They don’t want people reclaiming queer because queer is too inclusive for them to easily exclude people
Remember when people on your flist used to do this? I do. People still did it on Tumblr, twit, and so on, but I liked the journal like this because you could use strike through. I thought about using discord but meh.
Anyways. This is my plan for tomorrow. So far. And maybe I won't get to clearing my car but I need to at least acknowledge it.
Take out trash
break down boxes
wipe counters in kitchen
groceries
finish laundry
change bed sheet
put blankets in library
break down boxes in car
put items for storage in car
get cleaning wipes for car
make dinner ordered dinner lol
Will update tomorrow as needed.
Also currently suffering through a hot flash lol
09:29 AM Update
Current song: Scary Kids Scaring Kids - Star Crossed
Have not yet done anything but I have yet to turn on my YouTube watchlist and in my head I'm kind of thinking making Sundays no video day. Meaning no YT, no TV, etc. Not sure if it will stick, but hey, might be good for productivity lol.
Anyway, woke up today around 7AM, which means I might have successfully reset myself. As long as I don't procrastinate going to bed tonight because I have to go back to work tomorrow. Sigh.
The last few days have been busy. Not that I haven’t had time to post, it’s just that I didn’t have much to say at the moment. Today, I just wanted to share that I have Sleep Token’s “Provider” in my head, as in:
“And your fingers foxtrot on my skin
I’m going under this time
I can give you what you want”
Also, I may be back on Tumblr. So, hey, that’s the longest I’ve ever been on a social media break and I’m limiting my time until 9/1 so it’s still officially a break. I’ve just kind of broken some of my own rules and they are mine to break and there’s no consequences or repercussions so it’s fine.
Anyway, it’s my second to last day of vacation and the parentals will be home tomorrow evening from their vacation. I’ll give you a rundown of the last few days for posterity’s sake and since the subject line of this post covers that lol.
Speed run of the last few days. . . (well, not really but a long ramble)
Wednesday, 8/20, was going okay. I was in full swing on cleaning out and reorganizing things in my room finally. I finally found my swim goggles and nose plug so I was thinking about going to the pool at the local rec center (spoiler alert: I did not go to the pool and have yet to make it lol). But I also wanted to get fly masks for the horses as the flies are something terrible and Mask, our 30-year old Tennessee Walker, is getting the worst of it. So I knew I had to go to the local North 40 before they closed at 7pm and I thought I might swing by the rec center on the way home and swim but I ended up getting a freaking bloody nose so I had to hold off until I was certain I could go somewhere without bleeding everywhere. I ended up ordering pick up from Noodles Express so I could pick it up before going home. I did get to North 40, got the masks, picked up dinner, picked up our mail and got home in time to feed all the horses. Mask was easy to get the mask on, she trusts Mom, Dad, and myself without fail, and I think she was like “FINALLY”. Ginger wasn’t having it, so I worked with her a little and ended on a positive note but I ended up not putting on her mask. I had received the brush I ordered and after feeding the horses, I ended up giving their water tank as thorough a scrubbing as I could and after, filled their tank to the brim. Then I went in, ate dinner, ended up watching YT shorts for too long, and finally did some more clean up/pick up in my room before succumbing to sleep and going to bed.
Thursday, it was more of the same, cleaning up my room, vacuuming, cleaning up some of the mess I made out in the dining room/family room, and all this between rebuilding my calibre fanfiction library. I was successful in getting the mask on Ginger and ended up leaving it overnight. Nothing really of note on this day. One of the neighbors called and we talked a little bit. She was just checking in and letting me know that if I needed help, I could call her. If a brush fire broke out, we have a plan to work together to get our horses (she has a chestnut paint gelding named Chevy) in our horse trailer and evacuate all our pets and whatever else we can. So, knocks on my wood desk, just in case, but hopefully not going to be a worry.
Friday was more of the same, tbh. So, we’re all caught up, I guess lol. Oh, I did talk to my mom on the phone for a bit and caught up with her. She got a rolling cart (Dad calls it her “scooter”) that is basically something she can push, and sit on if she needs to in order to rest. She said it helped a ton while they were moving through downtown Long Beach on Thursday, so I was glad she got it. It’s taken her a bit to get to this point because she just couldn’t really accept that she couldn’t do what she wanted without help. So I’m glad she finally got her scooter (it’s not really, just I don’t know what else to really call it lol).
And now, all I have to do is break down the boxes in the living room that came from my room, and finish going through the stuff I haven’t decided what to do with yet. Though most will probably go away, either be tossed in the trash, or be donated. I also need to gather up all the trash in the house as well as change the cat box, wipe down the counters in the kitchen, put away the clean dishes, and so on. I’ll probably wait until tomorrow for most of it as it won’t be until late that the parentals will be home.
My sleep schedule has been completely fucked up and I’ve been getting up pretty consistently around 9AM because I am not going to bed until after 1AM. Last night I went to bed around 3AM and woke up around 730AM so I just stayed up, got my sorry ass out of bed to feed the animals and just am trying to keep going until about 11pm tonight. Maybe I can reset me so I go to bed earlier as this next week I have to go back to work, which sucks. Though more likely I’ll get another wind of energy and procrastinate going to sleep again and I’ll be fucked either way lol.
I’m feeling pretty good about my room now. Got a new chair mat as the other one was breaking apart and I’m expecting a new dresser middle of next week, which will help with some of the clothing. And I need to get little dividers/baskets for my smaller clothing pieces so they’re not all thrown in together. I currently have these soft sided ones in my old dresser that’s falling apart and they have torn and lost their shape so I’ll be looking for the hard-sided ones for this dresser. It’s also taller than the current one, so at least one more drawer to put stuff in. I’ll also be trying not to use the clothes dresser as storage for other things, so I’ll have to go through that when I get it and put it together. Which is fine, as I’ve been meaning to do that for a while now.
OH, speaking of the closet, I discovered that one part of it is broken, so it’s a little wobbly and I started looking at what I could replace it with. I’ll wait until the parents are home and discuss it with them to see how they want to approach it because the water heater is in my closet. So anything I want to do with it will need to ensure that Dad, or anyone, still has the ability to get to the heater as well as do what they need to.
Which also reminds me that when I was talking with Mom yesterday, I was telling her about the new mat and the dresser and she made some comment about spending money and I’m like, “it is stuff I had been putting off”. Meanwhile, I still need to get new tires and wheels as well as AC and stereo in my car but once I got working on my room and putzing around here at home, I just didn’t feel like going anywhere. In fact, I’m still debating with myself about getting Papa Murphy’s pizza tonight because they have a sale for 25% off today and they just recently raised their prices, so any day they have a sale is a day to take advantage of it.
Anyway, continuing on the money rant that I distracted myself from with thinking of pizza, I just have to stop worrying about what my mother thinks. If I make it terrible for them, her and my step-dad, then it becomes their problem, but as she herself said, it is my decision. She won’t love me any less. Her parental love isn’t transactional, although my love language is buying her books and taking the parents out for dinner at least once a month. I just have to get over wanting to be a people pleaser when it comes to her and Dad. It’s hard though. And I have speculated that I won’t be able to have any romantic partners or real friends until she’s gone and passed away. If only because she is who she is.
My other current issue, Trigger Warning for Eating Disorder talk or just eating issues in general, is how I eat. I always have good intentions but then I always sabotage them. Meaning that one of my unspoken goals this month was to make it so if I eat something, I only eat one at a time. One little bag of chips, one serving of red vines, one burrito, whatever, as a way to cut back what I eat but my will power is lacking. As a result, I am still at my heaviest and I want to get a massage because there’s something going on with my muscles but I’m too afraid I’ll lay down on their tables and it’ll crash to the ground. It’s been my fear with most chairs for the entirety of my life. I have flashbacks to trying to sit in my cousin’s lawn chair while at the fair and having it just completely collapse under me.
Anyway, I’m fat (more like severely obese tbh). I need to get to moving around more but the stuff I want to do is all on the computer now lol or reading. Which isn’t conducive to movement. So yeah. I need to just do it but sometimes I get caught up in the anxiety of going to public places and wondering what people might be thinking. Which is a failing of mine. I shouldn’t care. My store is mine. And how I live my life has nothing to do with anyone but me. I just have to keep going. And I just have to remember that. Also having to go up to feed the horses evening and night has helped too.
And that’s another thing. There is so much I wish we could do to the property and the barn and the house but it costs money and I need to take care of my vehicle first, which is frustrating. I was thinking last night that maybe I should think more about doing the lotto because even 100k would help. Much better would be 500k. Enough to pay off everything including the house and fix a lot of stuff on the house, as well as set up a fund to help pay property taxes and insurance as long as I’m alive. But alas. That is a gamble, spending money every week in the hopes to get more money. Sigh.
Today was spent between watching my Youtube "Watch Later" list (don't even ask how many videos because it's A LOT, much like everything else in my life lol), clearing out my room so I can move my bed, and rebuilding my fanfiction library on calibre. It's been busy in one way or another. The good thing is that I found items I had been missing so, that's a win. It also means that I am seriously considering going to the rec center nearby and swim.
Basically, I have been wanting to get back into swimming because it allows for a lot more movement while feeling weightless, which would be beneficial for my joints. I am a very overweight individual with a questionable relationship with food, so I need something that won't harm what joints I have still while still getting me moving. And my step-dad swears by it. I had been thinking of doing this since last year some time but I tried working out in the gym at work and by the time I wanted to reconsider swimming, I couldn't find my goggles or my nose plugs lol. As a result of finding them today, I was thinking about seeing what time classes were at the rec so I could go outside of those times and just take a lane and swim a little bit. It would be the first time out of the house since I went and got groceries on Sunday. A good excuse for an excursion!
In other news, Culligan did finally deliver and thank goodness for that.
More rambling. . .
I have stated it before that our family has horses. Two now, as we lost my gelding in March (terrible birthday present but at least it wasn't ON my birthday but after it). And the reason why I stayed home was so we had someone to watch them and feed them and so on. Anyway, the younger mare, Ginger, is so funny. She is so down with being sprayed with water, as well as while I'm waiting for their water tank to fill, she'll come over and stand with me. Of course, mainly that reason is she is like "why didn't you give us grain tonight? You forgot something!" She did that twice tonight while I was waiting for the tank to fill. Funny funny mare. If I do go out tomorrow, I'm going to try to remember to stop by the local North 40 and see what they have in the way of fly masks, and maybe some fly spray for the ladies as they are not having a great time.
My plan tomorrow (or later today for some folks as it's past midnight now) is to finish clearing out my room enough so I can vacuum the floor and then rotate the bed. My room feels so open right now, but most everything is out in the living room. I can't really stuff my closet full because the only access to the house water heater is through the far back panel, so a lot of my things get pushed to whatever space there is and I'm kind of getting sick of the fact that anything that's mine, must be in my room or in my storage unit. I don't know how many times I've asked for space in the garage. However, since my parents are letting me make the spare bedroom a "library", I decided that I'm going to pack some of my things in the closet there to clear some room in my bedroom. That's what sucks about the current living arrangements. I'm almost paying $100 a month for a 5x5 storage unit when it started at $40. Of course, I moved in in 2013, so in 8 years, it's jumped $60. So yeah, I'm just going to keep filling as much space in the spare room's closet for now. Maybe I can try and get my step-dad to again get me some space. Either that or really start to think about looking for a place of my own. I don't want to but at the least I can try to get something where I can move farther out from town. As I get older, I can handle people a lot less and the city where I live is growing and encroaching on where we live.
Anyway, I'm going to go to sleep now. I can't believe it will be Wednesday and my vacation ends this weekend. I'll just have to keep enjoying it as much as I can.
Here I go again, making multiple posts in a day. To be honest, I don’t care LMAO I’m just remembering my earlier years on LJ and making posts, even those with just memes (memes, quiz results, etc.) and no other purpose.
Current reason for this post is remembering the absolute ridiculousness in the VLD Sheith (Voltron: Legendary Defender) fandom when I first joined. A Bottom!Shiro week occurred…
