simonioos

[medievalsquire]

the bard asked if he could take artistic liberties with the story of our battle and i foolishly said yes. he has added dragons

[simonioos]

Congragulations, You are Now the fifth person to have layed the last of the dragons.

[eesirachs]

in the beginning there was :3 ^_^ >_< and god saw that it was uwu

[simonioos]

When god saw uwu he lookwd upon it with pride, and said "let there be OwO". And from the OwO came :). God did see it and did smile. However :) was lonely and became :(. God did see it and did frown. And as such god created :D and D:. And from D: :D came all others. Except emojis, fuck emojis.

[tautline-hitch]

sometimes you can see chekhov hanging the gun on the wall and you're like "that better not be fucking loaded." and then 70,000 words later someone has an extremely contrived allergic reaction to pineapple and it just pisses you off

[simonioos]

The type of thing the author does that makes you want to shoot them with the random gun you found on the wall.

[simonioos]

Cum, triangulation

And all thats in between.

The sum of adoration

Which bothers every teen.

And the hum of imperfection

As the panic just begins.

A bum at calculation

But the heartbeat is mean.

[simonioos]

I have been told today my vibe is 12×12= 144 and im not sure what i am supposed to do with that information

[simonioos]

Its time to charge I have no fears.

I am carnage no enemies near.

You all will cry your tears

And bring your peers

I outrank you a few tiers.

Who cares about morales

Or so called hard work.

I can make some portals

And hack your mac while high on coke.

[sanguine-raven]

well, y'know what they say

[simonioos]

They say time heals all wounds.

They say being kind will give you boons.

They say great minds think alike.

They say there is always a guy named mike.

They say all bad thouts go to bed.

And dey say, dey say, dey say,dey say, dey say,

And they say chivalry is dead

[simonioos]

Item: A Set of Dice Rarity: ⏶ Common

Do you consider yourself a lucky person when playing?

Feed your dashboard by answering my question, blogger.

My whole luck is wild.

Like a duck thats blind.

Its nat 20 after nat 20 all day.

Everything to make my dm pay.

Yet when comes the time

to play the right card.

Im like a sad fucking mime

Who's showing of his dad.

[shotoria]

places you in my cart

#shoppingplay

[simonioos]

In the cart. Gonna fart.

Dont blame me

Im just playing my part.

Why cant you see?

The treat is half way free.

So i if you buy me treat.

Im gonna fart on this seat.

[simonioos]

Im soldier on a mountain

And its cold, so cold.

Im trying to lend a hand

But i cant hold, I fold.

To try and hold the bold and mold the world.

To try and save my friends and make amends.

In the cold scold the old and bold who toiled.

In the mountain on the downturn count one.

Found dead. The bold. Right here by the fountain.

One of the bold on the road.

Not friend. Just a soldier on the mountain.

And its cold. So cold.

[simonioos]

What comes must go

Way away.

Its a boat no one rows

Hey, stay.

Dont get lost in the currents of time

Stay right here and sing a rhyme.

For what we have

And what we dont.

For which we save

And sit and point.

As the world coms to an end.

While we wonder about what we may.

Even to our closest friend

We must at some point say.

Go. Way away.

[veryberryskye]

yeah i like to give my blessing to the most pathetic looking weak little knight at the tournament. she can’t even look me in the eye when i give her my flower and she stutters out that she’ll do her best or something of the like. i think its funny when she has to cry and beg my forgiveness and i get to say “such a shame, i suppose my hand in marriage will have to go to someone else…” and then i get to hear her whimper like a dog. ive done this like 6 times alrea-

did she just win.

[the-stew-goblin]

I shall prepare a stew for the wedding! Extra salt!

[veryberryskye]

wait wait wait stew goblin wait

[peachdelta]

get ready for the wedding

[simonioos]

This. This is why i'm on tumbler. Spectacular job everybody.

[edgebug]

my dad thinks the concept of shipping is hilarious. my parents are cool, they know about my online presence, it's fine. dad doesn't scroll my blog or anything, though--he's usually too busy watching dubiously homoerotic pro wrestling clips or playing valheim--so his idea of shipping culture is bizarre

damn near every time I mention im working on a fic or piece of fanart, he gasps in hopeful anticipation and asks "tamatoa and heihei?!" and he always acts bitterly disappointed

no, dad. i'm not writing or drawing anything where a 50 foot crab and a literal chicken have any kind of relationship at all. you've been asking me to make this ship happen for almost nine years now and the answer has always been no. it's a running gag, of course, but--why would you even think of that?! what kind of shit do you think happens on ao3?!

[simonioos]

To be fair. This is exactly the kind of shit that happens on ao3.

[cactus-with-boobs]

For the yuri

What is even going on right now

[simonioos]

You are being shipped by the internet. Please do not resist.

[natalieironside]

Smartphones are better than old-timey phones generally but I do miss the dramatics. Hard 2 angrily hang up a rectangle

[simonioos]

You can always throw it at the wall and then manifest a new one to existence from your pocket.

[simonioos]

so I've had an idea for a Danny war parody of the snippets from the song "Fire" from the Iliad musical Jorge is currently working on, so I"m gonna post the lyrics because I ain't making it

Jorge: orange

Danny Motta: red

Danny North: blue

Danny Fett: green

Clearly I am the danny he sent for

Surely I am the one he meant

Tell me posers what makes worthy of this award

The one that Jorge did create

Danny Danny Danny whoaoa

Danny Danny Danny whoaaa

Damn it Danny you know that its mine

Your hubris is your end

End this idiocy and push through

You gave me your address

Address the great king of the north

You know the one who will lose is you

You know you’re Paris and I’m Menelaus in this war

Dannys Dannys dying in a Youtube war

Dannys Dannys burning each other's core

[dimetrodone]

Most difficult character design challenge is designing personifications of the 7 deadly sins that don’t look like this

[satan-offical]

I am NOT that tall and muscular

[simonioos]

You are also not one of the seven deadly sins. Unless there is a secret sin called "sin of statan" or "sin of misspelling official" that I didn't know about