Drinking to be Drunk, not Happy

You chug a fifth of vodka and everyone around you is too busy cheering you on to even realize how empty you had to be in order to do that!

[words-of-emotion]

It’s so nice when toxic people stop talking to you. It’s like the trash took itself out.

Unknown

(via words-of-emotion)

[a-compass-to-guide-me-blog]

He crashed into my world without a warning and made himself at home. He told me things I have never heard and, like a fool, I believed him. He promised me he was real and that he was different. He told me my walls were useless against him..and he was right. He held my hands until the ice began to melt. He looked into my eyes until I was overwhelmed with his beauty. He kissed me until my heart was on fire. He held me until I opened every door I could for him. And just as quickly as he crashed into me..he disappeared without a trace. He left me weak and in shock and emptier than he found me. I was used to the pain of being alone, it was a pain that I was numb to. But this..this was a new pain that severed my very being. My pain was confusion and disbelief. Why would he say those sacred words? Why would he make that much effort just to throw it away? Why? He didn’t have to tell me I was perfect. He didn’t have to tell me I was different. He didn’t have to tell me he wanted more. He didn’t have to tell me he would keep in touch. He didn’t have to tell me his feelings were real. So why did he? Why did he want to know everything about me if I was only a one time pleasure? Why did he want my walls down just to leave a ticking time bomb?

[dispels]

[vahst-deactivated20151216]

[thatlinearttho]

[homowrecked-deactivated20151223]

[t0xic-warning]

[haleyincarnate]

[simple-thoughtsof-insanity]

I believe you only fall in love once. Not with just anyone. Meaning you love each parent in a different way just like you love your brother completely differently than your best friend. But this kind of love. This right here. You only feel once. I never stopped getting butterfly's but it's not like we didn't fight. The love that completely destroyed you. That fucks you up and you don't even know why sometimes. The love that you weight the profs and cons but you really don't know. Not knowing what you did. This love changed my life. Sometimes I don't think about it but lately.. Lately I've been thinking about it and what could have happened. Was it me. Were you really okay after you walked away in the tech hall of Laurier, when you watched me cry. I guess crying isn't the word. More like the hating of myself. I could never just walk away. And it wasn't real when you would tell me I'd never leave you. You were my first real *spark.* Our kisses, to holding you closely at lunch. You made me feel bad and rebellious. You gave me my first teenage thrill. Right now on March 12 I sit and wonder why I really tried. Why you had the power to hurt me so bad then. I mean I guess you are still hurting me.

[simple-thoughtsof-insanity]

[simple-thoughtsof-insanity]

[simple-thoughtsof-insanity]

[just-shower-thoughts]

Every decision you have ever made in your life, has lead to you reading this sentence.

[fxck-every-1]

You know that feeling, when you’re in the bath, and you put your head underwater. You can feel your stomach tighten up, the sounds around you become almost non existent, you feel your line is literally on the line. That’s how it felt when you got up and left me.

Comparing (via fxck-every-1)

[evilspice]

[kushandwizdom]

You got this Auntie

[sexual-passion]

[coral]

I sit here and tell myself that I gotta move on, that I need to start making myself happy, that you truly don’t matter and that I can be without you. Then I fall asleep and dream of you, wake up in sweats, wake up in tears and it’s like everything I told myself is forgotton.