Awkward Ahead

Whelp, I hope you like text post and mild existential despair and sarcasm and run-on sentences.

[unbotheredmuse]

why is being alive so expensive. i’m not even having a good time

[simpleswings-blog]

I Love Fall!

I say approximately five minutes before I start sobbing uncontrollably in my shower from seasonal depression.

[simpleswings-blog]

Who new socially and emotionally stunted kids grew into socially and emotionally stunted adults. Not me that's who.

[simpleswings-blog]

My limited social skills are like coupons if I don't use them in less than 72 hours I'm pretty sure they'll expire.

[simpleswings-blog]

If this is the human race then I just frickin won....

[babyanimalgifs]

Can’t stop laughing 

[simpleswings-blog]

Proof we live in a glitchy Sims game

[rjzimmerman]

Australia completes world's largest cat-proof fence to protect endangered marsupials

Feral cats kill a million native birds every night and have caused extinction of 20 native species

Cute mammals, protected from cats now. See photos.

A critically endangered mala or rufous hare wallaby in the feral predator-proof fenced area on Newhaven Wildlife Sanctuary. Photograph: Wayne Lawler/Australian Wildlife Conservancy

Excerpt:

The world’s largest cat-proof fence has been completed in central Australia, creating a 94 square kilometre sanctuary for endangered marsupials.

The 44km fence – made of 85,000 pickets, 400km of wire and 130km of netting – surrounds the Newhaven wildlife sanctuary, a former cattle station that has been bought by the Australian Wildlife Conservancy.

Endangered species such as the bilby, the burrowing bettong and the mala (also known as the rufous hare-wallaby) will have a chance to replenish their populations inside the massive sanctuary, safe from Australia’s feral cat epidemic.

Feral cats kill a million native birds every night across Australia and have caused the extinction of 20 native species since they were introduced by the first fleet.

Bilby

Burrowing bettong

[simpleswings-blog]

I love that we live in world where stuff like this can happen. Sometimes everything seems like crap then this pops up on my dash.

[deepspacepirate]

The word “moist” is the Number One universally reviled word in the English language due to both its definition and the way it sounds. Similarly gross words include

chunks

curdling

squirt

munch

bulbous

pustule

sink

squirm

slippery

Which got me wondering, can I elicit the same emotions with words that have no meaning? And the answer is “Yes, yes you definitely can.”

So here it is: words and phrases that elicit “thanks, i hate it!” by sheer negative sonority

scrungo

beesechurger

mingus

hurgling

tungus

Scrimmy Bingus and the Crungy Spingus

slurm

chungus

crungle

gunch

But did you know you can make it even worse by combining them??

bucket of curdling chunks

the pustulous gunch muncher

your squirming tungus

this crungy beesechurger

a squirting chungus

the slurm sink

a slippery mingus

And my all time favorite

m y ⠀m o i s t ⠀s c r u n g o

[archatlas]

nois7 Robert Jahns

Robert Jahns captivating work and unique approach to photo manipulation deliver unexpected moments that marry people, nature and movement in ways that seem alive, yet surreal, all at once. Robert works on a global scale and collaborates with other well-known Instagrammers, photographers from all over the world.

[silverhawk]

i’d like to nominate the armadillo lizard & the gila monster for “skulls where u know exactly wtf is going on”

[ridiculouslyphotogenicsinosauru]

I would like to nominate Ankylosaurs, just in general

(Ankylosaurus, Minotaurasaurus and Tarchia, respectively)

[redandfranticfeelings]

disney: attractions to appeal to your nostalgia or flaunt our licensed properties

universal: attractions designed to immerse you in our movies

six flags: do you wanna just barely cheat death?? here's a 100000 ft roller coaster that goes faster than light

[simpleswings-blog]

I subconsciously want to be unhappy:

Wants to be more productive and start getting up earlier.

*sets fifteen alarms for two hours before normal*

Wakes up exactly five minutes before original alarm.

Wants to sleep in.

Wakes up three hours before alarm.

[simpleswings-blog]

My new favorite past time is looking up words on urban dictionary and I found this gem.

[simpleswings-blog]

Wth is this

Lemony Snicket tried to warn us this would happen.

[simpleswings-blog]

The wind blows and there is no air only pollen. Soon I will be covered in pollen and then become pollen. Hide before it's too late. Oh my God it's co-.

[simpleswings-blog]

When white people assume I’ve seen Black Panther and try to use it as a conversation starter.

[simpleswings-blog]

Common sense, never heard of it

Me: My head hurts so bad, I think I'm dying.

Brain: You know what'll fix that right up?

Me: ......

Brain: Put on some headphones and listen to ear-shatteringly loud music.

Me: Oh rad! Sounds legit.