TheWholeTitty @simply-alex008 - Tumblr Blog

30-minute-memes

Always remember your dog

winterinthetardis

*shows up 15 months late with starbucks* anyway here’s my vine compilation

sparkle-fart-69

Fuck, Millennials are fucking hilarious

tamalehousenumber4-deactivated2

I always feel better about youths after a good vine comp.

tha--snazzle

t-t-t-t-t-target!!!!!

sinfullyselected-deactivated201

“Do you speak any Japanese?”

“I’m Chinese I don’t speak any-”

“‘Cause if you do, I’ll sleep with you right now.”

“MITSUBISHI, TOYOTA”

baldheadedlilboy

“Bitch cone get me, not only is he ugly but his dishes talk!” “Who you talking to Belle?” “Uh… No one…. bitch that was his plate!”

repostcenter

No

simply-alex008

Yes

pleatedjeans

pancakes-and-penguins

This is the single best post I’ve ever seen.

30-minute-memes

It really is that easy

30-minute-memes

We gotem boys

sherlck-deactivated20140622

wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs

feathery-soul-deactivated201408

also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything

agnosticwitch

what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??

moontideempress

vimbia

Wear a wig. Contact lenses . Change your accent . Change Hand when writing . Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa . Contour the hell outta your face.

jazmynedrakeford

Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.

youhavearighttoyourwrongopinion

Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show

caribe-bby

Y'all suspect af😂

dookiediamonds-deactivated20200

*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*

electricocelot

Make sure you set up a solid alibi Pay for everything in cash

Or, for those of you who’ve read Roald Dahl’s Lamb to the Slaughter, feed the murder weapon to the police

prismatic-bell

Bodies should be buried vertically, not horizontally, to avoid the appearance of a grave. If you choose to dismember the body instead of bury it whole don’t forget to take a lighter or bottle of lye to the fingertips until charred or melted away, and use bleach on every surface that may have come in contact with blood splatter.

Also, don’t fucking brag about it later Jesus wept.

harmonysama-deactivated20190724

all this info is good for writing

but for actual real life, no one on tumblr has enough energy to get out of bed

ain’t no body on this website is gonna murder anyone

thewelterschallenge

Make friends with a pig farmer. A full grown nursing sow can eat an entire human body, bones and all, in about 6 hours.

bloodforbones

Shit that last one is more helpful than I wanted it to be, I’ll never look at pigs the same

sweetgirlfriend

Reblogging for *educational* purposes :)

fluidityandgiggles

This post is legendary and I’m so glad I found it. I love all the advice. Except the icicle. That’s technically impossible. Use a disposable knife instead and break the handle.

nintendhoe-switchblade-deactiva

use a glass knife with wooden handle for ultimate wounding. its gonna leave a severe fucking wound and u can burn the wood and melt down the glass if it doesnt shatter inside the victim.