🔅🔅🔅

i literally never use this

[memesandlaughs]

[elvish-mysticcc]

Me, with premium:

[digitalhunk]

i didn’t even know there was a free version of spotify….

[rodrickheffeley]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[bittersweetsadboi]

This spoke to me spiritually

[ironpour]

[cobaltdays-deactivated20210208]

Hers, I am. He’s, I am.

[youlovetoseeit]

it is tru and they should say it

[stars-bean]

♪ Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring Snowing and blowing up bushels of fun Now the jingle hop has begun ♪

Mean Girls (2004) dir. Mark Waters

[awesomacious]

The sweetest granddaughter

[perlukafarinn]

if only there was a word for that

[oldearthcartography]

[writterings]

whenever a young kid joins our staff at work im just like huh. guess im a father now.

[writterings]

these kids will be like “can you drive me home? i don’t have gas money but-” and im already pullin out my keys and am like. sweetheart, you are a child. i am not charging a child gas money.

[writterings]

i literally almost lunged across the counter to throw hands with some old hag who yelled at and insulted one of our 16 y/o girls but instead i threw her sandwich at her and told her to never fucking come back

[writterings]

old dudes will flirt with our young girls too and i’ll be like ay man this is a truck stop, normal customer service rules dont apply here. i can and will call the cops on you.

[writterings]

im the only manager that actively tells them to steal food because these are teenagers and they are HUNGRY

[rexrattorum]

You are the only valid manager

[fortyflightower]

i’m like “i’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me” and then i literally dress like this

[hungwy]

Ben 10: *slaps his watch and turns into a bald version of himself*

[mbappefc]

this is feroza aziz and she was banned from tik tok after this lmao for "unrelated reasons"

[broodingsoul]

Don’t forget: tik tok was created in China, so

[cognitivedissonance]

Yes, that should read “low success rate” in the first tweet, but Twitter has no edit button ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But I’m forever done with private probation companies, for-profit treatment centers charging exorbitant rates, and AA and NA being seen as any kind of solutions to substance use disorders.

[slatestarscratchpad]

The chemical name for vitamin C is “ascorbic acid”. I always used to wonder about this one. Is being ascorbic like being acerbic? Is it like being ascetic? Absorbent? Some combination of all of them?

Today I learned that scorbi is just a Latinish way of writing scurvy. So a-scorbi-c acid is “no-scurvy acid”.

[runcibility]

Eat this orange. It’s full of FuckScurvium.

[theinturnetexplorer]

[the-absolute-funniest-posts]

This professor gets extra credit.

[inthefallofasparrow]

[bonediggercharleston]

It’s especially hilarious when you keep in mind that the main artefact sumgglers around that time were ISIS, who funded their operations with that. So yeah, it’s not a stretch to say that Hobby Lobby funded ISIS

[lastvalyrian]

How did Hobby Lobby make everyone forget about that

[zerofarad]

Never forget Hobby Lobby’s Hammurabi-robbing hobby.

[bloodytales]

Good on him for speaking up for himself and his siblings.