Who You're Not

You Know You've Grown When You Can Laugh At The Experiences That Once Caused You Pain Queen Kay👑 23 Years Strong Doctor In The Making🤞🏾 One Degree Hotter🤞🏾

[simplyme-est94]

Reflection

We’ve been through hell and back... and back again but no matter what you’ll always be my first. Just when I think I’ve completely moved on and things are what they are... I’m left reflecting on my emotions when sutle reminders come flashing my way.

Though we are moving on and there seems to be other people in the picture presently for us both... I know I occasionally cross your mind as you do mine.

I’m always reminded if it’s meant to be... it’ll come to pass. Truly whatever has my name on it is already mine..

[simplyme-est94]

There are so many things I want to tell you... but I know you won’t understand.

[lovelyblackthoughts]

Why is it so easy to feel unloved, but so hard to feel loved?

[simplyme-est94]

Excited for my vacation... time to reflect and just be

[simplyme-est94]

I really be hurting my own feelings.... Just off of principle..

[suspend]

I’m sorry if I call you at 3 am. I just want to hear your voice.

3 am thoughts (via suspend)

[simplyme-est94]

Wish you were up right now, I have so much I want to talk about and you’re the only person I want to talk to... & I’m sure you’ll say oh you have your friends your girls who you run and tell everything too, but believe it or Not when shit hits the fan you’re the one I want to speak to and be with... & right now my thoughts are all over the place I’ll probably go for a walk, because that always seems to calm my thoughts and emotions down... but to be quite honest I’d rather be wrapped in your arms and cry out all of my emotions.

[simplyme-est94]

The last thing I need right now is for an anxiety attack to happen, and I feel it coming... I feel it coming

[simplyme-est94]

Felt like my heart just cracked... experiencing something scary tomorrow and I’m not emotionally or mentally ready for this by any means... Talk about support..

[simplyme-est94]

Shit it’s happening again 🤦🏾‍♀️! Really wish I had no emotions sometimes, because this shit right here is killing me.

[simplyme-est94]

Experiencing so many emotions right now, & I honestly don’t know what to say or do at this point. Never been the one to keep quiet on something that bothers me, but what happens when you address it?! When you speak on it, and receive no answer in return. Sometimes they say no response is a response, but I don’t want to assume anything. I want to hear it straight. I’m tired of my thoughts getting the best of me, and I’m stuck crying thinking about the what if’s. Most importantly how do I digest the fact that maybe just maybe I’m stuck with the biggest secret between us, and that’s the scariest of them all.

[simplyme-est94]

A year ago today I graduated, still by far one of the greatest and proudest moment of my life.... MPH Loadinggg🤞🏾💕

[simplyme-est94]

Some times I wonder if we lived closer, would things be different?!

[simplyme-est94]

I’m always amazed by the way you light up when you comment about other girls... don’t remember the last time I got that look...

[simplyme-est94]

Just never thought that’ll be us... What hurts the most is that I thought we were happy Despite the distance and not being able to see each other more often we were happy. Such an unsettling feeling, not knowing what else could have taken place. Thinking it’s one thing and finding out something completely different. I don’t like this at all, and I wish time can fast forward so this is a thing of the past. This year alone we’ve been through so much, so freaking much. I know because of that we’re able to get through anything, but this thing right here hit different. & I don’t know when it’ll be okay...

[jahminican]

Praying for the woman I’ll be in 5+yrs I hope she’s happy, and loved, living life unapologetically, doing what she loves.

[simplyme-est94]

The amount of levels you have me fucked up is beyond me. You’re really pushing my buttons I’m already stressed as it, and after expressing that to you, the bullshit still seems to rise Just let me know if this isn’t want you want anymore so I can die in peace.