simptonius.org

// mistake: an act or judgement that is misguided // // i have a thing for historical figures so please have mercy //

[just-late-roman-republic-things]

Ancient Roman trading cards: Tribune Trouble!

Historical notes and artist attributions under the cut. For more silly trading cards, check out the Julio-Claudians.

Many famous Romans were tribunes of the plebs at some point, but I'm only featuring those who pushed that office to its limit, usually by causing trouble.

My aim here is to capture some of their personality while making history fun and silly. So, some of these facts come from ancient sources that might be biased or wrong, but I have tried to keep it plausible. Some of the art has been adapted from paintings of other Romans because it felt fitting for these guys. If you want to learn more about them, check out my favorite Roman history books!

Background color = highest office achieved. Orange for quaestors and tribunes, yellow for aediles, green for praetors, blue for consuls, purple for emperors and red for dictators. Everybody else gets gray.

Paintings featured:

Cornelia, mother of the Gracchi by Joseph-Benoit Suvée

Farewell of Gaius Gracchus to his family by Dióscoro Puebla

Cato Uticensis by Pierre Bouillon

Lictors bringing Brutus the bodies of his sons by Jacques-Louis David

Marcus Aurelius by Eugene Delacroix

A Roman Feast by Roberto Bompiani

Other art textures come from the frescoes of Pompeii.

[thecatsaesthetics]

What I’m learning from reading this book on Emperor Augustus, one he was a little shit that you should hate, two he was an incredibly smart little shit that you need to respect. 

[beginneradult]

HBO Rome (2005) Fanfic Commission

so i just discovered the HBO show Rome and binge watched the whole thing in a few days I loved it so much.  I also am now lowkey obsessed with Simon Wood’s portrayal of Octavian/Caesar Augustus.  Unfortunately, I’ve since discovered that there’s sadly very little fanfic out there for the show, either on ao3 or fanfiction.net.  While I know that the show closely followed real history/people/historical events, I’m craving some historical au fanfiction that is based on the show, and specifically on the actor’s portrayal of these historical figures.  so! if you’re a fanfic writer that is familiar with the show and is interested in writing something, pls contact me and I’d be happy to discuss commission payment/my fanfic ideas in greater detail.      

[simptonius]

I’m working on a Germanicus x Arminius fic Rn but does anyone have ideas for other Rome fics, there’s a serious lack of them for us history nerds

[ribojessi-deactivated20141024]

Visit Original Link

This is the oldest piece of music known to humankind. It’s engraved in cuneiform on a tablet from 1400 BC. And it was a hymn to their goddess Nikkal.

[princeprimrose-deactivated20221]

I wasn’t actually expecting something serious.

[myboyfriendpetebuttigieg]

That was, um, actually unexpected.

[wolfgangamademozart--official]

What is this grand old instrument? It is almost ethereal to my ears!

[thewholeguacamole]

I wish more ancient music was written down. It’d be interesting to study it!

[the-gayest-dovah]

Only 15th century BC kids will remember this bop

[dobletoi]

It would’ve likely originally been played on a sammûm, a bit like a lyre, in accompaniment of a singer.

Whilst its the oldest piece of music, it’s not complete (I believe the oldest complete song is the Seikilos Epitaph), so it’s transcription is controversial; there are a few differing decipherments.

[lionheartednightengale]

Here’s a link with a bit of info! 

[soracities]

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

[text image: “Hurrian Hymn No. 6″ is considered the world’s earliest melody, but the oldest musical composition to have survived in its entirety is a first century A.D. Greek tune known as the “Seikilos Epitaph.” The song was found engraved on an ancient marble column used to mark a woman’s gravesite in Turkey. “I am a tombstone, an image,” reads an inscription. “Seikilos placed me here as an everlasting sign of deathless remembrance.” The column also includes musical notation as well as a short set of lyrics that read: “While you live, shine / Have no grief at all / Life only exists for a short while / And time demands its toll.” Transcription ends]

And here’s a video of a modern person interpreting what that inscription and song might have sounded like, in the original Greek (lyrics on screen):

[simptonius]

I've always been fascinated and frustrated with our lack of knowledge about ancient music. Music is such an integral part of human nature and it feels like a personal connection with these people who came so long before us.

[achillesreborn]

me, reading & learning about ancient romans & greeks on paper: :)

me, remembering they were real, conscious people with opinions, memories & fears: :|

[pourmeacaesar]

“Come over”

“I can’t, I’m busy turning the city from bricks to marble”

[pourmeacaesar]

[thoodleoo]

just watched a mockingbird land in my path, gently set down the poo it was carrying in its beak, and then fly away, and i think an ancient roman would lose their shit over that

[ancient-rome-au]

Roman who finds it: “it’s my lucky poo! Venus wanted me to have this! *contracts cholera and dies*

Roman giving funeral oration: “Sadly, our friend died of hubris.”

[ancient-rome-au]

“Big Dick Energy” has acquired a definition in today’s society that is nearly exactly the opposite of what it would have meant in ancient Greece and Rome. In Greco-Roman art, an erect phallus indicated a man of unbridled sexual passion, and the larger it was, the more horny and irrational the subject was understood to be. A flaccid, small penis on a heroically nude statue was the mark of a civilized man in control of his passions, master of mind over body. In this essay, I will

[unfriendly-trender]

Wheres the essay, OP?

[ancient-rome-au]

HERE

[incorrect-roman-quotes-deactiva]

Cassius: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

Antony: It would be nice to get my sense of purpose back

Caesar: Oh wow my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Brutus: My will to live! I haven't seen this in 15 years!

Agrippa: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Octavian: Mental stability, my old friend!

Cassius: Guys, could you lighten up a little?

[flightlessartist]

King of Quills (Swords) Tarot card from Brink Literacy Project’s Literary Tarot Deck! Paired with Kelly Sue DeConnick’s interpretation with Marcus Aurelius, we initially took this card down a far more fiery path than we ended up finalizing it with. Here you can see the tonal shift from chaos and battle to the serenity of the aftermath.

To see more of the fantastic artists and authors working on this amazing deck, and to get one yourself, check out the Kickstarter here! Each card is paired with some HUGE names in comics and the literary sphere (Margaret Atwood, Mark Millar, Joel Kim Booster, Roxane Gay to name a FEW), and all the proceeds go towards Brink Literacy Project’s amazing cause. Definitely will be worth your while to at least check it out!

[incorrect-roman-quotes-deactiva]

The Romans and Friends as Modern People

Caesar: A tired lawyer and single dad. Wears a lot of jeans + button-down top combos. Answers the phone with, "yeeello?" and doesn't understand social media. Bisexual, briefly dated Nicomedes from Turkey, also dated Cleo. Can't miss Julia's soccer games, goes to work when he's sick. Coffee for breakfast

Cleopatra: Has a PhD, manages a branch of a travel agency. Multilingual, hella smart, and amazing makeup skills. Was a Gifted Child™ and continues to be a perfectionist. She and Antony like to go dancing, eat at the cat cafe, and then get drunk on wine coolers by the pool, whenever possible.

Brutus: Going to grad school to teach English literature. Always wears a gray hoodie and black skinny jeans, people think he wears the same outfit every day but he actually has several of the same exact outfit. Very awkward and gets all excited and rambly when he can talk about poetry. Lives alone with his cats and is way too nice to say no to anything. Anxiety.jpeg. Gets high with Cassius and writes sad songs at their local coffee shop.

Antony: Posts gym selfies. Works out but never maintains a healthy enough diet to actually live a fitness lifestyle. Worships the ground Cleopatra walks on. Drinks a lot but has no expensive taste in wine or liquor - - if it gets him drunk he's happy. Works at a sports bar.

Pompey: Likes to surf, wears copious amounts of hair gel. Has thrown up in every alley in his neighborhood. Wears Hawaiian shirts or t-shirts exclusively. Was popular with good prospects on his college football team, now he feels like he's faded and tries a little too hard to be cool in the eyes of the next generation. Cries at The Notebook. Serves on the city council.

Cato: A certified boomer despite not actually being one. Posts memes about how things were better before those pesky seat belts and OSHA regulations. His house is always so pristinely clean it's unsettling. Broke one of Brutus' fingers shaking his hand. Used to be friends with Caesar but they had a falling out and neither will explain what caused it.

Cassius: Works for Pompey and mostly just listens to a lot of angsty music while filing papers. His Facebook posts are either a link to a friend's SoundCloud or a long political rant. Considers himself an anarchist, knows where the best weed is. Has a thing for Brutus who is painfully oblivious.

Cicero: A hardworking defense attorney who wears a tie at work and a sweater vest "casually". Always pushing his glasses up his nose with one finger and people think he's flipping them off. His office looks like that episode of "It's Always Sunny" with Charlie's Pepe Sylvia theory. After his divorce he has a breakdown and cries in the bathtub while eating cold mac and cheese.

Octavia: Very pure and long-suffering. Has made a life for herself as a teacher after spending her childhood overlooked for her prodigious little brother. Is engaged to Marcellus and the two of them foster ducklings. Thought listening to Taylor Swift was rebellious as a teenager because one time she says "Damn".

Octavian: Wears a beanie all the time and has a YouTube gaming channel. Very good student and likes to show it off with the massive bookshelf in his room. Perplexes Caesar with his meme talk. Vapes.

Julia: Adorable but very precocious child. Likes to go to her dad's work but would rather watch SpongeBob when it's on. Is into soccer and flag twirling. Obsessed with Olive Garden and would eat there every day if Caesar let her. Has a Tiktok where she posts videos of her puppy.

[simptonius]

Please I already have such a thing for Octavian-

[simptonius]

imagine:

Lagertha insists that you sit beside her when she has to receive allies or negotiate treaties. She feels the weight of her responsibility heavily, but you make her feel like she can defend her people. You remind her what's at stake. What she has to lose.

[simptonius]

imagine:

Lagertha calling you ‘My Princess’, you calling her ‘My Queen’.

[simptonius]

imagine:

Lagertha blushing when you call her beautiful.

[simptonius]

imagine:

Lagertha getting pissed at men or women who hit on you, she will stare them down, grabbing your hand or stepping in front of you. She is terrified that one day you will realize you could do better than her, that she doesn't deserve you. No matter how many times you tell her that it would be impossible for you to live without you.

[simptonius]

imagine:

The first time Lagertha sees you, she is taken by your beauty, your intricately braided hair, your slim waist. She knew immediately that you were the woman for her, that she had to make you hers.