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[sing-o-muse-o-mine]

this is a mostly-solo rp blog whose my muses are all the characters ive played irl in larps

muses so far

- thomas lane (just lane): searle’s ambitious young butler from a night in veilgarden. is an excellent butler, before anything else, but dreams bigger than he appears. part poirot, part jeeves, part aggrieved host, part schemer. perfectly subservient. perfectly observant. perfectly, neatly charismatic.

- bryan duffer: gay repressed disaffected star trek nerd from a small town in massachusetts in the spring of 1989. restless muse. the reason for this blog.

- rook: aristocratic foppish younger brother willing to do anything to prove his devotion to a woman who fears by the shadows that chase her too much to decide whether she loves him. a man who will settle for an eternity simply at her side. a man who learned how to settle for his lot from being an obliging second son to a brother he loves and admires. a brother he may leave forever tonight. from sanguine. quiet muse. content with his ending, unwilling to speak without his lenore or his brother.

- evgeny sergeevitch arbatov: from krazny oktyabr. kgb agent. died spectacularly. bemused muse. first larp character.

- brian johnson: from titanic larp. dedicated plot hound and problem fixer. terribly mystery solver. hates to lose. i’m lightly embarrassed by my performance as him, so who knows if he’ll show up. based on discworld’s bloody stupid johnson, a fact i did not know until the post-larp debrief.

- character from the archive. i’ll need to dig up his name. historian of note, tenured professor though not quite a fixture of the academy. well-published, often cited. inflexible in his orthodoxies, and never one to fully bury the hatchet. not as much of a slime as he could have been. finds meaning to the point of the sublime in his work. a near-buried muse, content in his catatonia.

- character from three musketeers. richelieu’s spymaster. commander of the guard and holder of their absolute loyalty and respect, a man with purpose who clawed what he wanted from the world. had a blackmail-target-turned-mentee, who he loved but would not dishonor. a blackguard and a villain. turned out to be a PC miniboss for a weekend-long game, so got outclassed by the protagonists quickly and became a fun punching bag for them (not him). hates cyrano de bergerac with a passion. bisexual and unable to do anything about his feelings for the man in the clergy he is drawn to. but genuinely he doesn’t have time to think about that he has a job. rarely appears as a muse bc the game ended up so unfun i had him defect to switzerland and withdrew from the game early in tears.

- character from duomo. right hand man to the pope, the arm and sacrificial lamb of the pazzi conspiracy. experiencing his hour in the garden of gesthemene. surrounded by old friends and unexpected companions. died unsatisfied and alone with nearly no ability to complete his purpose and complete the assassination, and in the attempt the pope fell, an outcome he never thought to dread. sulking muse, may come out with time.

- lancelot (lindsey) from once and future court: there’s honestly too much to get into here. galeholet promised to remember. gawain remembered for the orkney boys. guinivere chose to forget, and the lady of the lake tried to force him to make her remember. immortals with enchantments in the early stages of senility are no joke. only arthur’s word countermanded the command, arthur who swore he’d forget, refused to even acknowledge he remembered. arthur, who in the final moments, chose to shed the false life and remember the true one. once and future triad (unconsummated and pseudo-unrequited), poly guin/lance/eglante/galeholt, reverse one penis rule from guin that lancelot could have as many relationships w men as he wanted but only her (and eglante her gf). lancelot loves his cousins and they helped free him in the end. in the false life he was a lesbian topping a drag queen morgan le fay in a lesbian/gay man relationship but lancelot was distant and hard to reach and would freak out and ghost her so she gave up on him. theyre still friendly, and once their memories are restored she protects him from the magic of his mother (the lady). belongs to the lady of the lake utterly, who sent him to camelot and gave him to guinivere, who believes only guinivere can make him the best knight in the world, what he is destined to be, but in doing so made him unable to attain the grail. and guinivere, who is so cruel to him, who carries him around on a leash and degrades him and ignores him in favor of arthur, and will always love arthur more than him. he is her dog and will remain her dog, and remember her and carry her story until the end of time. guinivere, who wanted to end the shame of being misremembered and hated by forgetting. whose choice lancelot would never violate, and whose trust he would always seek and protect and keep involate. there is more, galahad and his mother, a modern life spent wandering, the cousins and their lives. one sided gawain loving lancelot and them having an unfulfilling sworn-brothers-with-benefits relationship after the death of galeholt and eglante. lancelot loved too much, and anyone who says that poly would fix camelot is kidding themselves. protective and ineffective and endlessly embarrassing himself, the most virtuous knight in the world. everyone he ever slew lived again. why would he ever forget?

- wizard story, dragon story: don’t worry about it

[pauljpeg]

"I want molly" "I want percs" well you're getting leeches

[touba]

Safavid-era caravanserai in Mahyar, Iran.

[thetursithan]

First time at the seaside....

[al-gatone]

@elodieunderglass

[elodieunderglass]

Oh it’s a very brave way to meet the ocean

[space-mouse]

i love unhinged women but i also love women who try so fucking hard to be hinged. clinging to those hinges by her fingernails.

[kibumkim]

[planetsandmagic]

mother

[liarsblade]

Everyone clap for non consensual body modification everybody loves a character whose body has been altered against their will

[argyleheir-deactivated20260419]

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

(nudging my liege as we walk past some visibly poisonous black berries) don't they look scrumptious my liege

[screambirdscreaming]

I've found it useful, over the past several years, to pay more attention to the seasonal changes. Not just the gestalt of the season, but the specific timing of things, the changes in the sun angle and day length. Which of course means marking the equinoxes and solstices, the longest and shortest and middlest days. But also - and actually more informative to me - the days halfway between these. Around the solstices, the day length is changing very slowly - a week passes with little difference. Around the equinoxes, things are shifting fast, from one week to the next the change is palpable. And the tipping point on this curve is halfway between.

For example: halfway between the fall equinox and the winter solstice is Halloween. And on Halloween I'm often sitting out on the steps watching the evening progress, and dark is certainly coming before it's terribly late, but there's still an appreciable amount of evening - not like in December when you step outside at 4 pm into practically full dark. And it used to be that sometime in November the dark would catch me somehow off guard - how little daylight is there now? But these days, I'll sit outside on Halloween thinking "it's getting dark pretty early these days, huh" and then remind myself: you won't see this much light again til February. We're going into the long dark now. And it helps me, to be prepared for it. And it makes it feel more real and solid, on winter solstice, to say we're halfway through it - when I've been watching for it the whole time, and not still scrambling after being bowled over by the dark sometime in late November.

And then in February, on groundhogs day, you're at the halfway point again. After weeks of slow lengthening you're finally gaining daylight fast enough to notice. Regardless of what the winter weather is doing, light is coming back.

And then there's the equinox, and halfway after that is May Day - the start of the long days of summer. If you're watching for it, there's a sweeping change in growing things around this time - I don't have exactly the words for it, but everything is rising to meet summer.

And then there's summer solstice, when the sun gets so high that the shadows all change places and the days are so long it's almost too much. And it's even a relief, a week or two later, when the sun's dropped enough that things don't feel quite so seared.

And the long hot days drag on for a while. Long enough that it starts to feel a little antsy for change, like you've held your breath for too long. Like you're forgetting something, or running out of time, but you're not sure what for.

And then you're like oh: it's the first week of august. The other turning point day, the one with no modern name or tag-along holiday. And I don't know, but it feels fitting somehow. Like this restlessness is the space of an unmarked holiday. Like something I should know what to do with but I don't.

[valtsv]

forget age gaps or differences in rank or whatever the most potently dangerous power dynamic in any relationship is "people like you more than me"

[valtsv]

genuinely nothing is more corrosive to love, respect, or trust than the insecurity of forever being second and last in line. of always being the plus one but never invited; always tolerated on their behalf but never wanted on your own. of knowing that nobody's jealousy or admiration is about you at all, only your place at their side. you tell them that you feel like you only exist when you're with them, and they laugh, charmed, but it isn't a figure of speech. it's not enough that they love you best if everyone else loves them better.

[valtsv]

taking off a mask to reveal what lies beneath as a romantic gesture is overdone, and besides i want to see the romantic or even platonic potential of protecting someone's identity beneath the mask, without any expectation of ever being allowed to see what's under it. picking it up and holding it gently to their face when it's knocked off and they're in danger of being exposed, without trying to catch a glimpse of what they "really" look like under there. throwing yourself in front of them to hide them from view while they put themselves back together without taking advantage or looking back to see what you're protecting. learning to read them by body language, tone of voice, and behaviour so well that you never need to see their face to feel like you know and understand them.

[valtsv]

and needless to say. the mask stays on during sex.

[catie-does-things]

if you want your female characters to both have agency in the story and be complex human individuals then sometimes bad things have to be their fault

[rbtfics]

'time travel is great because it means u can fix all ur mistakes and make sure things go better' sure yeah okay. anyway stirs in a pinch of 'THE most triggering events happen one after the other and you can't even say anything because none of the things they remind you of even happened this time around and it would make no sense to anyone else' now THAT'S what i'm talking about!

[byjove]

Tuberculosis sanitariums were such a tragic part of American history. People were sent there to die but they were, in a way, vital tools in public health. Tuberculosis isn’t as infectious as viruses like influenza but it is spread through droplets in the air and prolonged close quarters contact is most likely to spread the disease. It was thought of as a family disease because other members of a household would often be infected while living in close proximity to and caring for an ailing loved one. That was actually one of the selling points for tuberculosis sanitariums, “Come here and we’ll cure you, remaining at home could kill your loved ones.” some tuberculosis hospitals and sanitariums had off-site houses for the loved ones of patients so they could be close to the patient and visit them often without breathing the same air 24/7.

[byjove]

And the disease path of tuberculosis is so variable, some sanitarium patients would recover enough to go home, some would remain sick and inpatient for months and months and some would succumb to the disease days after arriving.

[rpfofficial]

the powerful lifelong bonds that are maintained by gay sex that is not happening

[rpfofficial]

or maybe the gay sex was there, once. it didn't save anyone, it didn't change anything. but it was there. and it never happened again.

[femmenietzsche]

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]