I Am Unwritten @singinggenny - Tumblr Blog

Dragon Hoards

A dragon is nothing without its hoard. Upon realizing that Swordfish takes a different approach to accumulating tons of treasure, by taking a trip to the nearby swamps!

Also, I made a Patreon page! It’s still fresh out the oven so right now there’s one comic featuring one of the dragons, but I am going to upload more Patreon-exclusive comics there + some other secret stuff. It’s one tier, $1 per month, so if you’re interested in seeing more of Swordfish and his buddies you can check it out here!

bigeisamazing

punkconcert

John Mulaney, a true ADHD icon

somewhat-honest-abe

I love how he gave this bit at an autism benefit because it is also a heavy Autism Mood™

gh0sthoodie

This is the most relatable thing I’ve ever seen.

vulpeculavolans

TRANSCRIPT:

JOHN MULANEY: I normally don’t notice people. I zone out constantly. Have you ever zoned out for a few minutes? I’ve been zoned out since 2014.

AUDEINCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I just - all day long, I wander into traffic walking like Charlie Chaplin, listening to a podcast while thinking about a different podcast.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I can zone out anywhere - I was at the doctor’s office, he was reading me the results of a blood test, it was important I listened, and I zoned out! I was like, “nah, I’m gonna stare at the wall and think my thoughts”.

AUDIENCE MEMBER WHOOPS

MULANEY: I was like, “huh. None of the Beatles had moustaches… but then one day, all of them had moustaches.”

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “That’s weird, I can’t think of a time a group has done that”. Some people in my life don’t want me to zone out as much - they want me to focus, and they want me to be in the moment, and they want me to do this by meditating. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried meditating, but I’ve been trying it. This is how you meditate, okay? You sit on the floor with your back perfectly straight, which I hate more than ISIS -

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I don’t like sitting up straight! Alright?! It’s never gonna happen! If meditating was sitting hunched over on the toilet with your elbow on your knee while kind of looking at your phone, I’d be the Dalai Lama.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS

MULANEY: I don’t like sitting up straight. So you sit up straight, and you breathe, and this helps you stay in the moment. Don’t bother! The moment is mediocre at best!

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I mean, it’s fine. Let’s all try right now - let’s all be in the moment, in silence, right now. [A HALF-SECOND PAUSE] Sucked, right? Not fun at all!

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: That was boring! You gotta zone out! You have an imagination! You have a movie theatre in your brain that plays fake arguments that you win.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS

MULANEY: Have you ever just been sitting there thinking about something for twenty, twenty-five minutes, and all of a sudden you’re like “oh my god, I’m driving!” and you remember? You’re like -

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “I’m going seventy-five miles an hour! I have been for a while! I could’ve changed so many lives!” Sometimes, my wife - I have this wife - she’ll be like, “are you watching the road?” and I’m always like, “I am looking through the windshield.”

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “And I’m not gonna hit anyone, but no. I’m thinking about the Beatles.”

whatsitnot

Hey @vulpeculavolans added a transcript to this AND THAT IS SO AWESOME THANK YOU SO MUCH!

worstseawitch

“I’m gonna stare at the wall and think my thoughts.” Is my true ADHD/Autism experience lmaoooo

y-that-crazy-five-foot-two-chick

Did I reblog this yet? Who knows? But it has been done as of now.

upschittcreek

cracked

12 Times Han Solo Used The Force Without Knowing It

spatscolombo-deactivated2022030

I need Han to accidentally be force strong, mostly because HE WOULD HATE THAT SO MUCH “Wow so you’re basically a self-taught Jedi” “WHAT–ARE YOU–I’M THE BEST PILOT IN–” “That’s force shit” “I’M AN EXCELLENT SHOT” “Yeah, because of the force” “I’M INCREDIBLY PERSUASIVE” “That’s the force making people believe your terrible lies against all reason ” “I’LL SEE YOU IN HELL”

chocolatequeennk

I can picture his reaction now…

No, but this is:

derdoktorsschnabel-deactivated2

Oh heck

silentstephi

George Lucas can pry Force Sensitive Han from my cold dead hands.

moonblossom

I love everything about this theory, but my favourite part of it by far is now utterly offended he’d be by the suggestion.

silentauroriamthereal

I love this post

t-shrit

for a satire news site they hit the nail on the head

worldohworld-deactivated2019032

Holy fuck

pheberoni

Do you ever just like flex your foot wrong and it cramps and you’re just like this is it, this is how it ends

menpale

dajo42

i had a dream last night that frosty the snowman was angry at me for calling him frosty the snowman and he was like “listen you rusty screw how would you like it if i called you fleshy the skinwoman”

ethicalmemes

That’s still a lot of trees #EthicalMemes

grimthetransman

Here is the link in case anyone wants to donate some trees!

https://teamtrees.org/

The official site of #TeamTrees. One dollar plants a tree...

kedreeva

They’re only about 1.2 million away, and a couple of weeks ago they were 4 million away. There’s a good chance that with a bit of noise made about this, they could rally for that home stretch. This would be a good time to tell your family, friends, co-workers about the project, as there are many people interested in donating to charities at this time of the year. Once you choose a donation amount, you can also select that it is a gift for someone else, if you’re interested in gift ideas.

If nothing else, please help pass on the news here!

memescog

He’s a hugger

deadpoetsmusings

“There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of merit or sense.”

Happy birthday, Jane Austen, born on this day in 1775.

firelorcl

me: *pulling petals off flower* he loves me. he loves me not. he loves m-

flower: he’s cheating on you susan

aplpaca

That rabbit/hare post is messing me up. I’d thought they were synonyms. Their development and social behavior are all different. They can’t even interbreed. They don’t have the same number of chromosomes. Dogs, wolves, jackals, and coyotes can mate with each other and have fertile offspring but rabbits and hares cant even make infertile ones bc they just die in the womb. Wack.

aplpaca

These

are more genetically compatible than These

and that’s why morphology-based phylogeny has Issues

thellamamongler

@aviculor

aviculor

The problem is perspective. People always think dogs are the ‘standard’ animal, the metric to use for whether or not two organisms “look like” they’re related. When in fact they’re a massive outlier due to the fact that we fucked up this lineage of wolf beyond recognition with selective breeding. It’s why people always say “breed” when they mean “species”, especially when talking about groups like lizards which can’t even be defined cladistically since some of them are closer to snakes than each other. To say nothing of fish.

thetinybutimportantthings

I once read an article that emphasized there is no such thing as a fish. Sharks and rays, lamprey, lobe-finned fish like lungfish and coelacanth, bichir and sturgeon, and of course the multiple infraclasses of more “modern” fish groups are all only very distantly related to one another. They’ve maintained semi-similar body structures only because there are limited ways to efficiently move through water as a vertebrate.

This

And this

Are more distantly related from one another than you and I are from a lungfish

Which is absolutely fuckin wild.

bogleech

Not only that, but all of us air-breathing land vertebrates, all the lizards and chickens and people and frogs, are closer to one another than those three “fish” are to one another as well.