I love a bit of fate, serendipity, synchronicity, whatever you want to call it... LOVE IT. Literally all for it. I know there are a lot of skeptics out there but I think if you start paying more attention to the things that you may write off as coincidences, more of them happen to you and a pattern occurs. They seem to be more connected rather than random.
For instance, I am forever running into people I know in super random situations. I’ve had people totally wig out when it’s happened but as a good friend of mine so eloquently put it whilst observing one of these instances “mate, normally I’d be weirded out too, but this happens to her all the fucking time it’s a joke!” Yes, and I bloody love it.
I have so many of these stories that I’ve decided to do a Serendipitous series, starting below with an oldie but a goodie.
‘A long long time ago (I can still remember...)’ I’d just come back to Aus for the summer after my first 6 months modeling abroad ever. I was struggling a bit to find my place back in the life I’d lived before my trip. Everything seemed to have changed for me, but everything was still the same back home and sliding into the groove of it was more difficult than I’d anticipated.
Mid summer I’d been invited to an evening BBQ party with my high school friends in the area we’d grown up in. It was a Friday or Saturday night so I was pretty keen for a bit of fun, but when I got there, despite it being what would have been my pre-London cup of tea, I wasn’t really feeling it.
Now I will preface the rest of this story with saying that most of the people in my home area are open minded, forward thinking, sexpots, but there are a few who are still living in the dark ages. One of my high school friends, T, is gay and he was at the party too. He’s not camp as a row of tents gay but he likes the D...I get it...I do too babes. I’d been at the party probably an hour and a half when T sits down next to me deflated and tells me that a group of the guys there were making fun of him for being gay. I mean really, WTF, it was 2011 for godsake! He felt super uncomfortable and was already at his wits end since he’d been saving for his Europe trip in 6 months and hadn’t been out in the city where the gay clubs are and where it’s more accepting to just be whoever the fuck you want to be. He said he felt stifled in general and was just so over the small town mentality of our area. He was yearning to be amongst people who just got him, people he didn’t have to explain himself or justify himself too. I hear you sister!
By this stage I was bored shitless of the party and hadn’t had a drink yet since I’d preempted a potential need for escape so I said to him “listen, I drove here, there’s a bottle of unopened wine in the back of my car, why don’t you neck that and lets go to the free side of Oxford Art Factory (yea Sydneysiders, you know this bad boy) and dance the night away?!” At first he was all “no no I can’t make you drive blah blah blah” but it just took one “dude, I want to be here as much as you do...” and 30 seconds later we were on the road.
As soon as we walked into the small room at OAF I spotted a friend of mine I’d modelled with but hadn’t seen yet since being back. She was with two guys and when she and I ran in for a bear hug, one of the guys, who was jaw droppingly, loin achingly gorgeous, stood up and immediately introduced himself to T. I was taken aback (in a good way) by this because 1. People always wait to be introduced, me included. And 2. He looked pretty fucking young to be so well mannered. My friend explained that this was her younger brother H and it was his birthday.
If you’ve ever been to OAF, especially between the years of 2008-2013 you’d know that the side room had all the tunes, T-Rex, the B52s, Missy Elliot, Jaggered Edge, MJ...you get the picture. I’m a proper white girl dancing and damn don’t I know it but hey work with what you got right?! I don’t hit the df and try to be sexy, it doesn’t really work for me. Instead I jump around, dance like an idiot and without sounding ridiculously corny...just dance the way I feel. The 5 of us formed a little dance circle, with H across from me. He kept trying to talk to me over the music and was laughing at my dance moves. I heard him a few times remark “omg who are you?! this is fucking awesome!”
After about an hour they had to move on to another party but T and I decided to stay. H lingered, seemingly not wanting to leave me. I was touched. I could feel a bit of a vibe between us but this was my friends little brother, I didn’t want to overstep. We had a bit of a cuddle, said our goodbyes and that was that...or so I thought. Needless to say I was still pretty fucking happy that T and I blew that shitty BBQ off... if you get an urge to do something people do it! You will be rewarded!
A few days later that same friend text me asking me to come into her work that week. She worked at an exclusive lounge as a host which meant she could sit and hang with me during work hours and that classed as “work”. I was there probably 20 minutes before she said to me “sooooo my brother wants your number. Girls throw themselves at him all the time but when we left that night he said to me ‘Han, that’s the kind of girl I want to date’”. That wasn’t what I’d been expected to hear. Obviously my mind was screaming ‘sweet Jesus of course give him my fucking number, he’s divine with a capital D!’ But my mouth managed to play it cool with a sultry “as long as that’s not weird for you...” I shouldn’t have worried, her response.. “oh god no! I’ve been imagining you two together for ages!
He did get my number. He did text. We did go on a date. He was the most gorgeous person inside and out. He was and is the kind of person I can see myself with. All in all it was incredible...until he asked where I live...When I said “like in life?! or for the next month?! because for the next month I’m at home with my parents...but actually, I kind of live in London..” His face fell and his disappointment was palpable. In that moment mine was too. I felt the vibe change immediately and I knew that it was over for him. I’m more of a fuck it go for it, love, enjoy your time together and deal with the hurt later. Obviously he wasn’t. Maybe he’s the smarter one to pull back and avoid the pain all together, who knows...I’ve never tried that myself!
This was about 5 years ago now and I haven’t seen him since. I still think of him from time to time, like now as I’m writing this. I wonder what he’s doing, if he’s happy, he has not social media whatsoever so I can’t stalk him to find out. I hope he is happy...but not married...or with kids...because something happened last year that seems to be fate telling me that maybe this story isn’t finished yet. But that story is for another day.
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