chasing that feeling

yan, 20s, se-asian, she/they header by yuka hiiragi 🕊️

[heateron]

hearts of darkness (1991) dir. eleanor coppola, george hickenlooper, fax bahr

[glowcowboy]

i hate when i’m insanely anxious about something to the point where i can’t sleep and then whatever im stressing about passes and im like “oh that actually wasn’t that bad!” and then i learn absolutely nothing from this

[weepingwidar]

Jean-Charles Eustache (French, 1969) - Like a Series of Promises (2009)

[softhe4rted]

i want a life

[tallahasseemp3]

please read this article about time loops

[sawasawako-archived]

idc anymore i think we should be a burden to each other

[sawasawako-archived]

and yes this includes a certain degree of tolerance for emotional burden, all else being equal. my love for you, and loyalty to you, is not dependent on how easy you make it for me to love you. i don’t value you for how little trouble you cause me. i want to learn how to take you for who you are, instead of who i want you to be or who i think you should be

[leopardheart-deactivated2023022]

today’s unironic affirmation that i am raising my cup of chai and drinking to is: i am not inherently more flawed than others. i am just as good as anyone else. thus, no one needs to rescue me, nor do i need to wait till i am more ’worthy’ to live as others do. i need to engage with reality with principle and integrity, and thus build my identity and sense of connection with others ON real actions and relationships, so my sense of self is not based on fantasies and wistful daydreams and unsteady ground. my true self is most and best evident when i am in the moment and not doing anything to sustain and alter it. all of my running around in circles asking ’how do i grow? what do i do?’ has been unnecessary when all i need to truly do is live

[kendallroynsfw]

everything everywhere all at once is about intergenerational trauma. about depression and passive suicidality and the gravitational appeal of nothingness. about aging, getting older in your twenties and getting older in your fifties. about the specific hurt mothers can cause their daughters and daughters their mothers. about the harsh reality of the immigrant experience and the american dream. but it’s mostly about kindness and family and it’s about choosing to sit at home talking about taxes with someone who loves you, and it’s about telling your daughter that you’d choose her over the entire universe, and it’s about how even in the universes where life didn’t form, love can still exist. and it’s really all of that at once.

[stuckinapril]

are u ever sick w longing. and i don't just mean romantic longing. i mean longing for a place you barely get to see, longing for friends you no longer have, longing for feelings you might have left behind in your childhood, longing for creativity, longing for a rich and more expansive life, longing for less inhibition. longing for more passion. longing for ur life to be so incandescent w something it thaws all the frost in ur bones. are u ever so consumed w it it rends ur heart in two. do u understand me

[stuckinapril]

this is not just "look out the window and sigh" longing. i'm talking you're at the grocery store and you're suddenly hit w a wave of grief bc you don't have it. you don't have whatever it is you ache so badly to have. you go about your everyday life and yet it throbs under your skin moment by moment, almost as though it has a life of its own. that's the kind of longing i mean.

[fuckyour20s]

I used to be 21 but now I'm 24. so you can understand why I'm so freaked out

[ihopeucomehomesoon]

Chen Chen "Elegy" | k.c cramm, "tender is not a bad word"

[sweetlikeacherry]

by Yumi Sakugawa

[sensiblethingtodo]

September 1, 2013 // September 1, 2019

[celceta]

I love seasonal fruits they're like girl we're back lol

[prinxe-with-no-crown]

happy pride month

[weltenwellen]

Cheryl Strayed, Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar

[nevver]

Seoul train, Dahye Choi

[madhyanas]

obsessed with the opposite of the childhood friends trope. what if we were just some guys meeting for the first time with like. no significance

[madhyanas]

what if we never had that long and complicated history that leads us to continually justify each other’s actions. what if i never had any hand in your sculpting and now i’m left with the final, hardened figure you’ve since become. what if loving myself and loving you were suddenly two different things. there’s no overlap between you and me. then what. then i’d have to know you on purpose