shane: i'm gay (i tried so hard, mom, i tried so hard to not be this way, i tried to like rose in the way i should but i can't and i'm not the golden boy everyone wants me to be)
ilya: hm. what makes you think that? (my brother in christ we have been having gay sex for close to a decade now. wtf are u on about)
shane: fuck you! you aren't gay! (you have the choice. you can be with a woman and it won't be a lie to yourself. you wouldn't be in agony every second of your life. you can live the way the world wants you to and it won't be a lie)
ilya: no, not completely (yeah, i'm attracted to men and women both, but what does it fucking matter? whether i am completely gay or not, the fact that i like men is enough to alienate me from the place that birthed me)
shane: well i think i am! completely. (i'm not perfect anymore. i've realised that i cannot be with a woman. i lie in bed with a woman and it feels like a punishment. i have to think of you to feel even the slightest pleasure despite having a girlfriend men would kill for.)
ilya: why are you telling me this? (why does your being gay or not gay matter? a label means nothing when it doesn't change the secrecy, the wrongness, the inevitability of this, of us both.)
shane: who else am i going to tell? (this is an important moment for me. i have to come out to someone. you're the only safe option. you already know this, you have the same secret. let me have this moment with someone who isn't literally the one telling me i'm gay.)
theartofmadeline
pixelskylines
areudirty
dailybridgerton
turnnoffyourmind
