Whale Dings

| 23 | Them (but ok with s/he) | local cryptid | *I'm really bad at tagging things so please keep that in mind*

[screenshotsofdespair]

[kittensnax]

The Shell CEO has this lever on their desk at all times

[ursulaklegun-deactivated2024122]

I think Katy Perry’s music is the opposite of enjoyable but sometimes I listen to the simlish cover of last Friday night and I almost throw up laughing every time

[ursulaklegun-deactivated2024122]

I had to edit this post because I accidentally said teenage dream instead of last Friday night but then I remembered “last frooby noop” and laughed so hard i choked on my own spit

[defectivealtruist]

[shutyourmoustache]

[beardedmrbean]

[i-am-dulaman]

[passion-of-l0vers]

obsessed with this

[gowns]

i’m at the pizza hut

i’m at the mortuary

i’m at the combination pizza hut and mortuary

[macbethz]

this is the trans experience

[k-eke]

Do not fear.

[cryptid-sighting]

[tiktoksformyfriends]

[video by crowbabies. original caption: My stinky baby]

[blatant-phishing-attempt-bot-de]

I can’t believe Smelly Cat got a gen Z cover

[catasters]

[haya-haya-haya]

it all belongs to her

[nohomo-mrfrodo]

[modernhaterboy]

Watched luca. The gay allegory is PALPATINE

[modernhaterboy]

[perhapsdragon-deactivated202308]

[toastbutteregg]

[clown-strife-deactivated2021041]

school uniforms shouldn’t be mandatory

[oakleafwolf]

IF they are mandatory, they MUST be free. In this way, everyone has the same quality of clothing and no one “looks poor”. If the idea behind uniforms is to make everyone the same and stop clothing based conflict, the uniforms have to be free, it’s the only way to justify them.

[gffa]

Obi-Wan Kenobi is a True Jedi.  Not because he’s mastered himself and his emotions or anything (though, that, too) but because he’s a giant fucking nerd who wants to study literal brain worms and gets mad when Anakin stomps them to death and he probably thinks the height of a Saturday night is a grammar argument with another Jedi Master about some obscure text philosophizing on the Force.  This is the only metric by which a True Jedi can be measured, I will accept nothing else.

[ginathethundergoddess]

Excuse you. True jedi are measured by how many Lego studs they collect.

[gffa]

This is the only correction I am willing to accept.

[curioscurio]

[curioscurio]

[februaryberries]

i am afraid that my first thought was omg sans is a loki variant and i shall politely go sit in a corner

[curioscurio]

I want you to know that this theory is the most terrifying and funniest god damn thing I have ever read

[vergak]

Me and my mutuals

[transmechanicus]

Posts that be like “If I were a monster that had to eat people, i would just eat horrible people~” are so absurd to me. How often do you see Known Criminals on the street? Billionaires out for a nightly stroll around town? Effectively fucking never. If I have to drag myself to the grocery store, you think it’s gonna be any easier for me to hunt Bezos and Co. every time my stomach growls? I can’t bother to plan meals more than a day in advance, how am i gonna perform whole ass detective work to confirm someone’s a serial killer before i eat them? Ya’ll got that much time on your hands? Planning 5 course meals every night of the week? Don’t make me laugh. Eat a pedestrian and tragically wrestle with guilt like the rest of us, idiot.

[violetsandshrikes]

Okay I hate retail but shoutout to my boss for not being a giant dick which includes:

• taking us all out for dinner and drinks tonight to thank us for dealing with the first week of December rush

• a guy sexually harassed me at work and I laughed it off but the boss had him banned from the entire mall premises

• he’s kicked people out permanently for yelling at me and coworkers

• i have a driving lesson in the middle of a shift next week and he’s coming in on his day off to cover it for me

• he buys us coffee from the local cafe every morning bc “how the fuck could we survive customers without it”

like thanks for making retail slightly less shitty bro

[violetsandshrikes]

• has started hostile warfare with the shop across from us because they’re homophobic to the sweetest barista there who came out as lesbian, so he lets her hang out with us on all her breaks and also hung up pride flags in direct view of them and overall does his best to undermine them in any way possible

[freelancerwaddledee]

your boss sounds awesome

[violetsandshrikes]

his name is Luigi which makes this 100% funnier

[anteabelle]