brain blogging

idk

[inkskinned]

executive dysfunction is legitimately physically uncomfortable. i’ll be trapped between two things, weirdly caught on how-much-time-it-might-take-me. i take hours worried im going to take hours doing things. i’ll sit on the floor for the entire day, caught up in the middle of not-doing the chores i actually do want to be doing.

& the amount of mental energy that goes into it. & the legitimate amount of anger and discomfort and self-hate. is not “being lazy”.  it’d be a lot less work if i didn’t have to fight myself to just get up and do it. 

i just need you to understand it’s not effortless. it’s never effortless. it’s not “okay let me just get up and finally start doing this.” it’s more like. i am slamming my foot on the pedal but the car is in neutral and nothing is moving. it’s more like shouting instructions into a dying telephone. it’s more like being trapped in a small electric box, and someone who hates me is administering shocks. 

im trying. im trying. please help me get up.

[electronicmail]

when youre done studying me can i take a look at the notes. No thats okay im just curious.

[electronicmail]

oh ewww. Omg did i really do that… Lol.

[charl0ttan]

executive dysfunction is literally like. ive had a random dollar on my floor for two weeks and i dont know when ill fit it in my schedule to pick it up. people dont realize this

[fairycosmos]

i hate nerves and anxiety. oh nooo i am scared of acting like a weird bitch to remedy this i will act like a weird bitch

[dankmemeuniversity]

[genderqueeradrien]

you can replace all your daily tasks with 24 hours of the hyperfixation. But watch out

[lehit-deactivated20231019]

what shall i be for today silly orr....... scared? *holding them close to my body in turns like outfits*

[bitegore]

Please memorize some "i desperately need out of this conversation because I cannot behave like a human any more" scripts. Please. I can even supply some. Let me get on my computer but, my god, there are formulaic ways to say 'i have no ppl juice rn and you speaking to me any more will cause me to conjure vivid, beautiful images of me THROTTLING YOU" without being a giant douchebag and it worries me that you don't know this

[bitegore]

‘If you keep speaking to me I will lash out for reasons that are not your fault. I need a few minutes to clear my head but am not done with the conversation’ script: “hey, I am really sorry to leave all of a sudden, but I’m going to [step outside/go make myself something to drink/head to the bathroom] for a few minutes. When we come back, I’m happy to keep talking though. This is a really [interesting/important/complicated/etc] conversation, and I don’t want to just drop it.”

'Mid conversation I ran out of people energy, and I won’t be able to keep speaking constructively. I need to leave now or I will explode' script: “Hey, I’m sorry, but it’s getting late, and I should really be going. It’s been really lovely speaking to you; we have to get together again sometime soon. But I really need to head out. I’ll talk to you later?”

‘Your opinions are bad and you should feel bad about them, but I have some reason to not tell you that. instead i want out as fast as possible from this conversation and/or to reroute it IMMEDIATELY’: “I can see why you’d think that, yeah. I get what you’re saying, but, you know, I don’t really know this topic well enough to talk about it, you know? What about [tangential, barely related thing that is safe to talk about that they also care about]?” Wait a few minutes, nod and mmhmm at some stuff, and then check your phone and go “Oh, no, it’s getting pretty late. I have to run, but I’ll talk to you later, alright?” (This one is very useful when your unfortunately unavoidable but incredibly prejudiced grandparents come around and your parents will be mad if you start screaming arguments with them over the Thanksgiving table, especially if you can reroute them into a topic of conversation that other people care about rather than running away wholesale.)

‘you are so fucking annoying. never speak to me again’ or other variants of ‘fuck off’ that you dont want to just say that way to someone you know because that is fucking mean. basically a friendship breakup script: “Listen, I think you’re a great person, and I don’t want you to take this the wrong way because it’s really not personal, but I think you and I are very different people, with very different interests.  That’s not a bad thing, but I don’t think that you would enjoy spending much time with me, and vice versa. I wish you the best, but I’d rather we just stay acquaintances, alright?” (Don’t do this unless you absolutely mean it, but it’s good to know what to say when you mean it.)

i can do more but i can’t think of any off the top of my head, but even in miserable interactions with people you still have to know how to treat people with courtesy and be a little polite. there are many reasons you could want to know how to tell someone to fuck off impolitely, but those are easier; if you want to try and be cognizant of other people’s feelings while still making your point it’s, you know. hard. hopefully these are helpful

[alyssumlovesthecosmere]

This is incredibly useful, op, thank you!

[1892]

normalize not knowing anything about yourself. like who’s that guy lol

[spongebob-autisticquestions]

When you're feeling overwhelmed and absolutely nothing makes sense - VISUALISED

[weltenwellen]

Sarah Kay, from “And Found”, No Matter the Wreckage

[ciaran-archive]

if we could read minds I still don't think we'd understand them.

[ciaran-archive]

like I've spoken to people who think in images, who have to translate each thought into words before they communicate. and I think entirely in words, laid out across the void inside my head. my father's thinking is 3d, concepts structured in ways that are incredibly difficult to translate into words. and how would that look to me, if I could see into it? how do I perceive a thought that my mind cannot contain by the nature of their construction?

[ciaran-archive]

we all speak a private language to ourselves and we are always translating so we can speak to each other...don't touch me I'm emotional

[turns-out-its-adhd]

*mark as unread several times so I don't forget about it while I try to think of a reply

[ndcultureis]

nd culture is trying to take a adhd test but not being able to remember the timeframe of symptoms when u try and think of it😭

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[six-blue-marbles]

extremely cool and sexy of me to show my interest in other people’s conversations by approaching them and standing slightly off to the side listening to them without actually saying anything in an attempt to integrate myself into the conversation

[angeloncewas]

Could a mentally ill person do this ? *sends three emails*

[angeloncewas]

Nvm I'm getting delayed anxiety about two of them the mental illness won

[six-blue-marbles]

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