So one of my bestfriends isn't going to my 18th birthday party. Yes, it does hurt that I she isn't coming and yes I will tell you the reason why.
She texts me for the past 2 days saying she's coming and then all of a sudden she says she has work on Saturday instead because she didn't read her schedule right. Obviously I get really upset because I want her to come because she means a lot to me. She has been my bestfriend for a while now and I have put up with her shit and vice-versa. But what really doesn't add up for me is why the hell she wouldn't try at all to come. She gives me some excuse that she doesn't want her mom driving her all around the place and that she doesn't know the area. And I'm trying to see some alternative views on how she can still come and then she texts me this bullshit. Like wtf, I don't understand why you're treating me as if I'm not your best friend and just some ordinary being.
I was on the verge of crying because of how much of a bitch she was treating me. Like you don't hang up on a person and then still text me as if you can't talk on the phone. It doesn't matter that I was with people, I just don't want to get into a texting fight. That's just childish and immature. And then all of a sudden she's guilt tripping me and saying how I was pissed.
I wasn't pissed at all. I was super upset because my best friend wasn't coming and she wasn't making any kind of effort either. Her extent of trying to come was asking people to take her shift. But that doesn't really matter because she still could've came to the second half of the party, where we were all going to drink. Please take in how she told me she was "very excited" for the birthday, and then oh no, she texts me something different where she "didn't want to go for the party part anyway".
Uh what? I thought you were excited at first? What the fuck.
Like she treats me as if I'm nothing and just some other person. She said to me how it doesn't matter if she does go because I have everyone else there. No, that's not the fucking point. I wanted you to be there because then we could bond over this and shit. You are my best friend, ergo, I'm treating you as such. Would it have been better if I was like "Oh yeah, that's fine. Bye, see you at school on Monday." Like no. That's not me. I don't do that shit.
I didn't like how she didn't even try and see my side of this whole thing. She brought up how I didn't go to her past 2 birthday things, but even then she didn't seem to be upset about it. And that was when she was turning 15 and then the next one 16. I understand the 16 one because there's always this teenage context of how Sweet Sixteens are supposed to be the best and yada yada. But I had to work apparently, and it's not like I didn't try and not make it to her party. I'm guessing I probably did so much shit to try and make it to her birthday.
Being a child from a mixed racial background, my parents didn't exactly celebrate my birthday like how it's shown on TV. So that's why I take everyone else's birthdays seriously because people do care about them. I just felt like she didn't care about mine and then guilt tripping me by using her previous parties was just plain stupid. Like I get it, I fucked up, but let's move on because I've learned from my mistakes. I always do.
But it just seems like she doesn't even care. Which sucks even more.
I'm just going to go masturbate and then cry myself to sleep.
