🎀

Hi! I'm Amber, I'm 21, female, I am a university student studying linguistics and I am happily in a relationship💞 Prepare for an onslaught of my favorite things! There will be music, homestuck, and plenty of tomfoolery to go around~

[saltedume]

[pukicho]

I intend to pour resin over everything so nothing ever changes again

[smeared1992]

you used to be able to get a job just by circling a listing in a newspaper in red pen

[captain-price-returns]

At least one member of the British government is doing their job.

[quibblepoof]

human are you awake yet

[thebeakincarnate]

Thank you I feel like i am awake for the first time in my life

[as-warm-as-choco]

[me-and-my-beard]

HOW THE FUCK DID IT GOT THERE

[melaninmedicine]

The mom is so pissed

[gunzonyatmblr]

The mom is like I told yo stupid ass not to go over there but look what your stupid ass did

[rainbowbarnacle]

poor lil wobbly legs wanted to be a flower

[madame-raccoon]

how the frick are those noises even real

[gotsickofmyoldurl]

i found the original facebook post, here are some facts:

the baby alpaca was only a week old

this is from a farm in wisconsin

what happened is: she was taking a dust bath and fell into a badger hole

what caught the farmer’s attention was the entire herd of alpacas surrounding the hole, which is about a mile out in the field

the poor girl was in the hole for hours and was entirely underground when they found her

people apparently use “city slicker” as an insult unironically, as evidenced by the comment section

[art-and-things-of-beauty]

A surprising result - A pair of paintings by William Henry Hamilton Trood (British, 1848-1899). 

[ultralaser]

this dude spent like a year and a half painting a victorian reaction gif

[copperbadge]

February 1 and February 2. 

Sequential storytelling at its finest. 

[teathattast]

[mangoeater1000-deactivated20201]

please support this interracial french gay couple and their 20 kids

[captain-acab]

“le couple homosexuel interracial français milieu a vingt enfants” en fait c’est une erreur statistique. georgs d'enfants, qui habite dans une cave et adopte dix mille enfants chaque jour, est une donnée aberrante et il faudrait pas l’avoir compté

[trevenanl-deactivated20200913]

Any one of us. Any one of us could be Taylor Swift behind these URLs

[trevenanl-deactivated20200913]

[forfuckssakejim]

Omg so I’m at the cafe by campus and this guy came in and went to hug this chick but she went in for a fist bump

[forfuckssakejim]

OK OMG SHE SAT HIM DOWN AND SAID “I think we should break up”

[forfuckssakejim]

I’m legit 3 feet away from them pretending to be invested in my science book

[forfuckssakejim]

She said “it’s not you it’s me” and before he could respond the barista called his name. It’s Bob. Poor Bob

[forfuckssakejim]

The move was effective. The lady looks defensive

Bob has come back.

[forfuckssakejim]

It was a few minutes of awkward silence as he took a sip of his drink. It’s the same kind as mine. Meaning he ordered Hot Chocolate

[forfuckssakejim]

He started out with “You know, I think.” And I could hear this lady’s eyes roll. No one cares what you think Robert

[forfuckssakejim]

FINGERS ARE FLYING. SHE POINTING AT HIM. SHIT IS GETTING REAL.

[forfuckssakejim]

she calmed down and he legit did that thing where you steppe you fingers together in front of your mouth and take a huge breath. Bro. Leave it. It’s done. She’s too pretty for you.

[forfuckssakejim]

He freaking snapped his fingers like he’s got this grand plan to make up for things.

[forfuckssakejim]

She Said she still wants to be friends. She starts this by asking about his day

[forfuckssakejim]

Apparently something bob said made her laugh.

[forfuckssakejim]

She has not been able to say a word since she got him talking. It’s too loud in the cafe for me to make out anything even tho I’m legit behind this chick

[forfuckssakejim]

He talking about his struggles now and how much he needs her. Run lady. Run. Run far away.

[forfuckssakejim]

She tried to get up and his hAND SHOT OUT TO GRAB HERS

[forfuckssakejim]

She’s literally folded in herself. Hands not going out further than the table. Limited hand movements.

Now she’s talking about her self. He doesn’t look that invested.

[forfuckssakejim]

“well some people are bitchy” -bob

[forfuckssakejim]

Lady does not have a drink. I don’t think she planned on being here this long.

[forfuckssakejim]

Bob is again talking about himself 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 no one cares bob.

[forfuckssakejim]

Well he said something that made her laugh again. It sounded fake tho.

[forfuckssakejim]

He’s talking about school. APPARENTLY HE IS A PROFESSOR

[forfuckssakejim]

“Promiscuousness leads to disease” -Bob again.

[forfuckssakejim]

I’m done with my hot chocolate and I don’t know if the bitter taste in my mouth is from the chocolate residue I drank or my disdain for Professor Bob.

[forfuckssakejim]

She adjusted her chair so she’s further away

[forfuckssakejim]

SHE GOT UP! She went to take her purse but bob said to leave and he would watch it. I think she’s headed to the bathroom.

[forfuckssakejim]

I can’t leave! But he’s doing that voice to text thing for his phone. Talking to someone about this? Idk?

[forfuckssakejim]

I’m trying to figure out what he’s saying by looking at his lips but I suck as this. Also where are his lips?? Bob is lipless. Further proof that lizard people exist.

[forfuckssakejim]

I just noticed the lady left her phone in her purse.

Ok she’s coming back. She is pretty. Too pretty for Bob. But probs old enough to be my mom.

[forfuckssakejim]

He’s talking about his students again.

[forfuckssakejim]

She was talking and he interrupted her and she was like “I was talking” and he like flinched and he apologized. Yes queen.

[forfuckssakejim]

“but this is why this democracy is at its purest.” Wtf Bob that doesn’t make sense

[forfuckssakejim]

They’re talking so quietly now I can’t hear them.

[forfuckssakejim]

“I should have said this a long time ago. But I can’t get anyone to love me” -Bob what the fuck.

[forfuckssakejim]

“I feel like I’m projecting my self onto you” -bob once again

[forfuckssakejim]

She’s leaving! She said something about picking up her son, Kevin, from school. Good job lady!

[forfuckssakejim]

HOLY SHIT HES REACHING INTO HIS PANTS WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF

[forfuckssakejim]

*pocket. But still.

HE PULLED OUT A RING BUT THE CHICK IS ALREADY OUT THE DOOR. OMG

[forfuckssakejim]

OMG OMG OMG ITS A MENS RING!! HE PUT IT ON HIS HAND HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT. HES PICKING UP HIS PHONE

[forfuckssakejim]

“Hey babe, nah sorry about not answering your call. I was in a meeting with a student. I’m leaving my office now. Yeah I can pick up dinner. Is Tanner home from school yet?”

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

[cliffordsbigquestion-deactivate]

Fuck you bobert

[n0chillvibes]

this was a JOURNEY from start to finish

[kamonra]

This is the money pentacle. Reblog and unexpected money will come to you!

[darkcocosb-blog]

Shiiiiit. I reblogged, and I got $750 in two days for basically nothing! The first day this client/POT asked my agent to invite some girls and I to his end. We basically sipped wine and left with $500 each. He called me yesterday and we took a ride on my highway and gave me $250😂😂😂. Money blogs everyday any day!

[soflobrat]

Won’t chance it.

[br0wnsugarandspice]

Yo this shit works not even gonna front like I didn’t just get money

[tastelikehoney-sb-deactivated20]

Let me reblog this 2x then 😂

[nudiemuse]

Do the thing pls

[quickweaves]

im screaming it worked lmfao

[hunter-dahl-deactivated20161208]

Not to be a “tumblr witch” but I’ll try anything twice

[dunsparce]

Guys…. I didn’t think it would work but wtf….I just checked my email…

I have an extra $600 I didn’t have before ;____;

[witchoncampus]

Fuck it, I need the money 😂

[deadmugen]

money for school pls

[psychedelicfelon]

Issa comeup

[prettyboyshyflizzy]

need that bmw i8 money thank u very much

[blogitaway]

first apartment deposit ty Jesus🤙🏿

[userobiwan]

okay but elle woods though

had a 4.0 as an undergrad

got a 179 on her LSATs when a 180 is a perfect score

got into HARVARD LAW SCHOOL which is one of the most prestigious law schools in the country

after she’s humiliated by several professors and peers alike instead of quitting elle makes up her mind that she is going to kick law school’s ass

refused to reveal a secret told to her in confidence even though it would have advanced her career 

is an amazing friend who not only helps her friend get her dog back from her deadbeat ex, but she also helps her friend meet a new man 

instead of competing with her ex’s new girl friend the two of them eventually become best friends and ditch the jerk together

even after following her ex to harvard in an attempt to win him back, elle realizes that he’s a jerk and she’s so much better than him

turns down said jerk when he comes crawling back

wins her first trial using not only ingenious deductive reasoning and her knowledge of fashion and proves that she is not a helpless “dumb blonde”

elle woods though

[queer-eyes-full-hearts-cant-lose]

If I may - I also really appreciated that Elle isn’t a lesbophobe. When a(n initially condescending) lesbian classmate defensively assumes Elle would call her a dyke, Elle quietly says she’d never use that word. I’m so used to straight girls in movies (esp from this era) being disgusted by/scared of lesbians; this was such a beautiful change

[antoniporowski]

My Wedding

Husband: *Gives long 10 minute vow about his love for me*

Me:

[tastefullyoffensive]

Worth it. (via welder22)

[miridai]

[sheabuttershawtyy]

We don’t deserve dogs

[tonydezz]

See that’s when you have to realize you gotta drop out of college and stay your ass home