Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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pixel skylines
styofa doing anything
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
JBB: An Artblog!
Product Placement
@theartofmadeline
Sade Olutola
Janaina Medeiros
Monterey Bay Aquarium
JVL
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
⁂
#extradirty
Xuebing Du
tannertan36
wallacepolsom
art blog(derogatory)
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
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@skatcat31
So this ad came up on mobile
Why are the visitors wearing headphones but the workers do not
Because in the image to the left he's talking into a microphone, whose feed is being sent to everyone in their headphones. Headphones don't stop loud noises, but they do make sure everybody can hear the tour.
My wife really appreciated some encouragement at Sac Anime from @gmatlarge when we bought his artbook A is for Adventure. It was very nice meeting you. I was going to send a message but the app and website won't let me change it to my personal tumblr from my mtg fandom one. Hope you all had a great weekend!
I don’t usually speak out about things in the political world but this is so incredibly important that it has to be discussed.
When I was at the lowest spot in my depression I locked myself in my bedroom for three days and lied to everyone I knew. I called in sick to work. I told my mom I was seeing a doctor. I told my friends I was busy. I had successfully fooled everyone who loved me that I was making healthy changes and getting better. I wasn’t, but it was so much easier to hide and pretend that I was than to actually go outside and do something.
Depression is weird. I feel like a lot of people think depression means being sad and crying all the time but it’s the exact opposite. Depression, for me at least, was the complete and utter lack of emotion. I was so apathetic to everything that I couldn’t care if I wanted to. Sometimes I would work myself up to tears by thinking about how fucking miserable and pathetic I was, but almost as quickly as they came I was back to “what’s the point?”
Same with happiness. I could watch the cutest cat video on the whole internet and I would smile and laugh and the alarm in my brain would start screaming KITTEN ALERT EVERYBODY FREAK OUT
but as soon as it was over the power would go out and the little workers inside my head would take a vacation to the brain of someone who could sustain an emotion for longer than the average youtube video.
So there I am, laying in bed, my entire body recoiling in horror at the pitiful excuse of the mind that it’s been permanently tethered to. I start to wonder if things will ever change or if I’ll just be like this forever. I become vaguely suicidal. I don’t really want to end my life, but I wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of me suddenly ceasing to exist. So I hide in bed all day, every day, for as long as I can manage.
I wait for something. Anything. A satellite to fall through my roof and crush me in my sleep. An earthquake to part my street from the avenue that crosses it and swallow my house to the middle of Earth’s giant rumbly belly. A friend to kick down my door and drag me to the hospital or mental institution or maybe a secret underground lab where the government keeps people who don’t have feelings anymore.
Fortunately, none of that happens.
My friends eventually catch on to my shenanigans and despite their best efforts, are useless. They would try to get me out of the house almost daily but I would make up some bullshit excuse to get out of it.
Eventually, they stop trying to help me, and even though they weren’t successful before, their lack of empathy becomes my new favorite excuse.
It wasn’t their fault, of course. It was mine. They had done everything they could and I was not ready or able or willing to cooperate. Did I understand that at the time? No fucking way. Why I would take responsibility for my problems when I could just blame them on someone else?
In the early stages of my depression I would sometimes compare my affliction to The World’s Worst Roller Coaster!™
I knew that eventually I would get to the top, the ride being so emotionally exhausting that I would simply be ‘okay’ enough to not throw myself over the railing and ruin some random passerby’s day. I would instead begin the long and weary trek down the 312 steps towards sanity.
But I never reached the top.
In fact, my ascent to the peak of the coaster was so slow that renovations had already begun and construction on the rest of the track had started while I was still onboard. Nobody cared to notify me or maybe slam the big red button that says “HEY THERE’S SOME ASSHOLE STILL ON THE RIDE!”
As my depression continued, The World’s Worst Roller Coaster!™ slowly began to morph into an episode of The World’s Deadliest Train Crashes!®.
My train car began to pick up speed along the newly appointed rails. I passed through tunnels and forests and cold mountain ranges but no cities or towns or warm inviting parties filled with people I wanted to see or be around. My train was on a journey to God knows where, but it was going too fast for me to hop off or for anyone to hop on and help me.
I tried to make the best of my train ride by keeping myself busy (in my own solitary one-person train car, of course) but it only made me more lonely and depressed. No matter how many video games, books, movies, or internet memes I devoured I still couldn’t feel like I was doing anything right.
Eventually I realized my train wasn’t taking me anywhere good.
I knew I still had plenty of time before I needed to start worrying, but it was hard for me to accept the fact that the light at the end of my tunnel was actually a fallen-apart rickety wooden bridge over a 200 foot drop into freezing polar bear infested waters. I figured I would just hold on as tight as I could and pray I would survive the fiery plunge off the bridge and that maybe, just maybe, someone would pull my shivering body out of the ice-water.
You see, I had no desire to change anything. I was ready to ride my stupid train right to my death. I just didn’t care enough to save myself.
While riding my train, I spoke to a friend. She told me that I was running out of track and that she was afraid. She began to cry and told me that she wanted nothing more than for me to get off the train. She wanted me to fix my stupid brain and convince the little workers to ditch their vacation plans and come back home. She wanted me to watch cat videos that would make me laugh so hard my eyes would roll back into my head and my spine would constrict into the letter R. She wanted me to get back to blogging the way I had in the past and use it to build a name, and possibly a career, for myself. She wanted me to find love in someone who loved me back, rather than the useless people I had spent the last year chasing to no avail. She wanted the best for me. She wanted me to be good. She offered to do anything she could to make me that way.
This person had so much love for me that she was willing to do anything to help me.
I snapped.
I realized I wasn’t ready to let go.
I began to cry. I began to cry in a way that I hadn’t cried in months. I felt genuine emotion and I wanted to keep feeling it. I used to hate crying, but after weeks and months of indifference and pure concentrated lethargy, the tears felt like the best thing ever. Each salty glob was a sigh of relief. All the emotions I had repressed were leaking down my face and I didn’t know if I should smile or laugh or sob loudly. So I did all three.
I stood up in my train car and leaned over the side. I could see the bridge out at the end and I knew it was now or never. I closed my eyes and jumped feet first.
I did it! I got off the train! I didn’t explode into tiny little pieces and get devoured by polar bears! I ran back to my friend and I thanked her for saving me.
“I didn’t do anything, Rhyse. You made the decision. You got off the train.”
I was aware that I wasn’t right the whole time, but I was perfectly content to just ride it out, even though I knew it wasn’t going to end well. I had spent so long not feeling anything that I believed the first active choice I had made was all due to someone else. But it was me all along. I had made the first step to getting better.
Now I have a long walk back to civilization. My path won’t be easy. It will be a slow and arduous journey peppered with therapists, medication, and return-to-work forms, but I am ready to try, and that’s already an enormous development from the way I’ve been.
I know it’s probably weird to be reading this on my blog, especially considering this is about as much an actual ‘blog’ as cheese slices are actual cheese, but I felt it was extremely important to share my story with people who might be going through the same thing.
I am not cured of my depression and I won’t pretend that I’m perfectly okay now, but I am ready to start getting better. Knowing you’re not alone is huge. Depression weakens people by isolating them from the ones they love. Know this, if you are feeling like I felt, you are not alone. Reach out to the people who surround you, you never know who will be there to catch you.
I’ve never had something convey what depression is like more clearly than this
The rights of programming
I've often thought of turning this Tumblr into a blog about programming practices or critiques of others programming articles or design, but often I'm left with the fact that Tumblr might not be the best medium for that and maybe I should have a blog over on medium. Often times that requires the motivation or gumption to do the writing though and often I come home from work just to read and go to bed. Maybe ive got enough time after all?
A muse singing is amusing
The Book of Cosplay Sewing is out now! It’s only 5$!
https://www.kamuicosplay.com/product/cosplaysewingdownload/
If you always had struggle with fabric and your sewing machine, this is the perfect volume to start! I wrote it especially for cosplayers and guide you from choosing the right material, over pattern making to finishing a complete costume! Hope you like it! :)
@neo-hazard
I have a mighty need
I just bought the shit out of this, I need all the help I can get and this looks awesome
adhdalistair:
penisennui:
(via Justin Jorgensen) “In 2007 I worked with photographers Williams + Hirakawa to create a concept piece of me sleeping on a sheet cake. I though these cakes looked like pillows, and there’s the obvious play on ‘sweet dreams.’
I wondered if I could fall asleep on a cake and have sweet dreams. I didn’t. It was pretty gross really and wasn’t easy to wash off.
A few years later, outtakes from the shoot were sold to Getty Images as stock photos. I didn’t know this until 2011 when one of those photos made #13 on the wildly popular Buzzffed.com list of “60 Completely Unusable Stock Photos.”
Into 2014, the Getty Image photo continues to make the rounds on Facebook and Tumblr.”
i can’t believe i leveled up enough to unlock cake pillow guy’s backstory
I can’t believe the “sweet dreams” joke didn’t occur to me
I can't believe I never thought of eating cake in bed...
If you add two pounds of sugar to literally one ton of concrete it will ruin the concrete and make it unable to set properly which is good to know if you wanna resist something being built, French anarchists used this to resist prison construction in the 80s
I’m just gonna go ahead and reblog this for purely educational purposes.
Nifty
Watch: Aziz Ansari had an amazing ten minute long monologue at SNL about Donald Trump and racism one day after Trump’s inauguration
“My parents love it here. We’re not leaving.”
Gifs: Saturday Night Live
WATCH THE VIDEO
it makes me really sad that cursive isn’t taught in schools anymore. it’s so useful and elegant and theres really no reason not to teach it if you rly value the ability of students to write quickly and easily..
They stopped teaching it because they don’t want kids to be able to read historical documents. A generation of sheep.
open rp
“i, dio, am going to the store do you want me to get you something? a soda perhaps? maybe some crackers?”
“I want my dog back”
“……do you want like a sprite or something?”
“I want the old man back, you bastard.”
“I, Dio, honestly feel so attacked right now. Do you want something from the store or not? Is diet coke ok? You’re getting a diet coke, shut up”
“give me back avdol you gay ass vampire (tbh i need some milk right now plz)”
“I’M GOING TO THE STORE NOT THE GRAVEYARD
but yeah i’ll pick up some milk”
“I want the friends of my son back, and bring some cookies”
“WHAT KIND OF FUCKING GROCERY STORE SELLS DEAD PEOPLE WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY”
I’m always worried
when a cannibal says I have good taste
Oh, sorry, you misunderstood my Vigor post. :) What I mean by that is that Vigor doesn't effect itself, so having two out would cover them both, rendering all damage replaced by either replacement effect. So you couldn't kill any vigor through damage, because one protects the other and vice versa. :) -Topi
Oh... Okay. When I read the post I thought it was stating that each one would trigger, and you’d put a stacking amount of counters on them.
With some of this stuff it’s hard to tell if it’s ironic detachment or genuine racism, but at some point, what’s the f***king difference?
Topi’s Daily Card #784: Vigor
Vigor is one of those creatures that can totally ruin any combat math real fast. Any damage that would be dealt to anything other than vigor is stopped, and that many +1/+1 counters are put on instead. Soon lowly 1/1 creatures are chump blocking and are soon 5/5s or even greater. If you’re able to get two onto the battlefield, perhaps by a clone effect, then both will be covered by the damage clause, and soon any sort of damage will just make your army stronger. This doesn’t stop destroy effects of course, so that’s Vigor’s main weak point. Even so, with this card, any combat, any mass burn spell like Chain Reaction can turn into a real problem for your opponents.
I’m not certain it works like that. The only instance of damage has been prevented. The second Vigor activation will have no damage to prevent, and no +1/+1 counters to distribute. We might want to ask @magicjudge about this, but I’m pretty sure the Magic rulings Archive has a ruling about this. Replacement effects don’t stack, you choose one to have happen in Active Play, Non Active Player order.
Yo, American Airlines made this black kid give up his first class seat because he was wearing shorts, but the white dude right behind me is wearing shorts. There’s a bunch of empty first class seats and this kid paid to be here and they moved him. I have no social media presence so this shit won’t get seen. But spread this if you do because American Airlines should have to answer for this. It’s flight 5403.
@powerliftingpinay @smashcut @steviemcfly @americanairlinescenter
WOW JUST….EXCUSE ME?
Spread this shit like wildfire
wow wtf
Honestly American airlines is a piece of shit
I wish a mothafucka would bitch
