Tsu’tey X F!Reader (8K Words)
Warning: death, descriptions of war, angsty, violence
While sitting in the hangar, your body pressed against the metal as you lean onto the truck. Even as you watch the soldiers, as you see the war brew around you—the sheer beauty of Pandora shines through. You can see the towering trees that just brush the sky.
Arms crossed over your chest, you spot him rolling up—Jake Sully, another Avatar pilot and veteran... Just like you. You uncross your arms and walk in his general direction, lips curling upwards under the mask.
"Sully?" He nods, and you nod in the direction of the base entrance to which he falls in line beside you. "Y/L/N. Just wanted to meet the fellow not scientist joining the Avatar program."
He smiles under the mask, which tells you everything you need to know. "Navy?" You roll your eyes, side-eyeing him.
"Semper fi." His eyes widen, but he sees it—just in the way you carry yourself now. You're not just a soldier, but a marine—like him. Reaching the door, you code you both in and gesture him inside.
"Appreciate the welcome. So what's the mission?" You raise a brow, pointing him int eh direction of the briefing.
"Don't die, hot wheels. Briefings down the hall, just through that door."
So when you and Sully approach the Colonel, side by side, you have a feeling it has more to do with your shared background. With the fact that you are both ex-military with a knack of taking risks, and paying for it in the end. Trudy points over at the helo, your heart pounds louder and then fades off.
"I'm putting you both on door guns." Trudy was your roommate, she kept your secret and you kept her sane—not a lot of women running around that aren't scientists. You nod, well at least your time in the service keeps you from being too bored around here; it keeps you useful.
"This low gravity'll make you soft." An uneasiness grows in the pit of your stomach, and you like to listen to that feeling—because its usually right, and he's always put you on edge. "You get soft. Pandora will shit you out dead with no warning." As he sits up, you shift, tucking your hands behind your back. Wrist in your palm.
"I pulled your records. Corporal." Eyes on Sully, then you. "First Lieutenant." Your lip twitches, you haven't heard that in a while—can't remember the last time someone called you by rank. He doesn't linger on you for long though, turning back to Sully. But all you hear is the dull ringing in your ear, feel your body detaching until you hear your name over the ringing.
"Several tours Lieutenant. A couple badass career moves, medically retired at the peak of your career because a lunatic blew your leg off." Its a quote from one of the articles written about you, about the four that were in that bathroom. You wish none of them knew, that he didn't know, but its in the file—clear as day.
"The Avatar Program is a bad joke. Bunch of limp dick science majors." He points at you and while your urge is to step back, you don't—stuck at attention. The weight of your leg becoming more apparent, but its in your head just like the burning sensation. "We're going to talk about the fact that seasoned marine wasn't in your resume."
You feel Sully watching you, but ignore it—keeping up with the colonel. "However, it does present an opportunity both timely and unique." He shouts, but your blood has run cold and chest tight. "A couple of marines in an Avatar body. That's a potent mix. Gives me goosebumps. Such marines could provide the intel I need, right on the ground. Right in the hostiles camp." You never thought twice then, driven only by orders—mind resorting to all it remembers and knows.
"Look Sully. Y/L/N." You swallow. "I want you to learn these savages from the inside. I want you to gain their trust." Easier said than done. "I need to know how to force their cooperation, or hammer them hard if they won't."
"Are we still with Augustine?" Orders, that's how you both run.
"On paper. Yeah, you walk like one of her science pukes, you quack like one, but you report to me." Your posture stiffens, the doubts still flood in even if you know that you're going to listen. You preferred when it was a secret.
"Can you do that for me?" Sully affirms first. Eyes on you, nod. May god forgive you... because you're not sure you will.
To see ten fingers and ten toes, all at once—it is something you never thought you would see again. Even on the overlook, the fact that you have both legs is more overwhelming than the view.
"I never thought I would have two legs again." You break the long silence, the weight of training has become easier given time and you appreciate the breaks he began to give you.
"What does that mean?" To him, he's only ever known you as this—something that is a force of nature like you were on Earth. But on Pandora, you don't feel like a force of nature anymore. You never even mentioned it to him before now because it never crossed your mind.
"Back on Earth, when I was still a warrior—" You recall Sully's first lie to the Na'vi, that you were warriors of the jarhead clan. "A man was so against women warriors in my clan, he set off an explosion in a room for women. Killed three others, injured me beyond repair." You pause, trusting the words and trusting him not to repeat them. So when you finally get the courage to look at him, he is not showing you pity. He almost looks admiring, but that's just a trick of your mind. "When I woke up, I didn't know what had happened to me... I was so scared and went to walk out of the room." You've never spoken about it, not even to Trudy. "When I hit the ground. My whole life was gone. My career. My friends. My leg. Took months of rehab and therapy, got a prosthetic. Signed up to come out here." On Pandora, at least you were somebody. Worth something.
"Then you have always been brave." You smile and he miles back, your heart rate quickens. You like when he smiles on those rare occasions.
"Come with me." He declares, standing and holding out his hand, and you trust him without a second thought. The ringing always dulls around, so much so that you know he won't lead you astray.
In the helo, you feel alive—Pandora is alive around you. A living, breathing thing. You think about what Sully said when you asked him not to say anything to the others about your military experience. "You can't run from who you are, Lieutenant." Echoes upon echoes of memories, even as Trudy grilled you nightly for information about the Colonel you shake your head. Because the memories were coming back to fast, the ringing getting too loud.
Yet you can't shake the feeling that it feels good Jake knows, and that its not just you going behind their backs. Grace looks back at you before looking forward to Trudy, her voice going over the head sets. "You sure you want a plant scientist to be on a gun?" Its taunting, but lighthearted—to which Sully responds by giving you a look. Trudy laughs, oh you'll hear about this later tonight when you get back to base.
"Oh I think she's got this." Grace raises a brow at Jake's comment before returning to what she was doing.
Now here's the truth, you would say it was marine comradery that got you stranded in the middle of the jungle. Soaking wet, surrounded by darkness. You want to defend yourself, but the truth is you're as much of an idiot as Sully and you weren't going to let him be an idiot on his own.
"So how do they think you lost your leg?" You laugh coldly, he gets you stranded in the middle of Pandora without any defenses and he's asking you personal questions. Your hands squeezing the water from your clothes.
"Car accident." But you placate him anyways with an answer hoping it'll shut him up for a while.
"Are you ashamed?" Nope, hasn't crossed the line yet, but the ringing grows louder in the back of your head.
"Maybe I was tired of being some trigger happy jarhead?"
"Why does it have to be more than that?"
"Because you lost your leg, and your instinct is to get on the first flight to Pandora."
Following, hand in hand with Tsu'tey, he guides you towards the top of home tree—the greenery thick as the branches flatten out enough to walk out onto. "You must learn one more thing." Just one more? Even as your feet find the grooves naturally, instincts guiding your every step—you no longer have to look for where they go.
"There has to be more." When he looks at you, something has changed—but it doesn't make sense. Did you mistake pity for admiration? Does he feel sorry for you?
"You are almost ready." One of the people, but now your stomach is doing backflips because you have betrayed him. Betrayed the people. So the ringing grows louder until he tightens his hand, and you center—the ringing dulls.
"Just watch." Tsu'tey taught you that sometimes it pays to watch and listen, and all the military training—all the 'go go go' mentality does is drive you into the ground. Sometimes the world needs to be still.
You stumble into the people, wrists bound together as some reach out to run their fingers along your limbs—this is the closest you've ever been to a native and its the closest you'll ever be. Because you'll be dead soon enough. Glaring at Sully, you never should have ran after him—should have let him die out there or get caught on his own.
But your oath means something, and so do your friends so here you are because those things mean something to you. Like you said, you won't let him be stupid on his own. Now you're both just a couple of stupids. Two people stuck in front of the leaders of the Na'vi. A chief. His wife. Their daughter. And the betrothed. They all hate humans, and they hate the Avatars—the dream walkers. Demons.
This is a fitting end for you though—the colonel wanted trust and that wasn't ever going to happen. For you or Sully.
Watching Tsu'tey from the branch, you leap for joy and cheer him on before he lands. In front of you is a Banshee and a grinning Tsu'tey, the funny thing is you don't remember him ever smiling at you like that before. Maybe he has and you never had a chance to notice. Never could see what it meant. Not that you think it meant anything at all.
Tsu'tey waves you forward, but you are not able to bring yourself to walk forward—which causes a crease to form in his brow. To smooth that crease, you step forward and watch it flatten out. Fear builds, but so does curiosity until its nose is in your palm. The banshee does not flinch or run for, it remains grounded even as Tsu'tey steps off.
"This is Ikran. With Tsaheylu, we are one." That is the word you would use to describe them. The look Tsu'tey shares with them, but what you don't see as you run your fingers along the back of its head. That is how he looks at you.
"I don't like Jake Sully... But you are different." He tolerates you is the difference, Sully is intolerable even to his friends. Even as he guides your hand, his fingers ghosted atop yours. "To be one with Tsaheylu, requires more than what he has. It requires spirit." So even as the Banshee's wings beat and your heart speeds up, you did not expect to see the flashes of your life on Earth.
You see your family, the reason you joined the marines in the first place. Being sworn in.
There is a whooosh of harsh winds against your cheek, Tsu'tey closer than you remember as the ringing begins. You see your best friend, the world overcrowding and resources running thin. You see the first time you were shipped out. The ringing is louder as you see yourself entering the bathroom—it's all in slow motion. The drift is beginning to close in on you, and blur the memory with Tsu'tey. The explosion. The smell of burned skin.
Your body has gone limp, you can't hear Tsu'tey, but you can see him. It is so bright. You hear your name far off, caught in the drift. Deeper and deeper, as it all goes brighter. The light that slants in from the top of the tree, cutting into frame and overwhelming your sight. The last thing you see is Pandora. Oh Pandora... You don't feel him shaking you, or hear him yelling. None of it because you are being pulled out of the chamber — unconscious.
You lean against the tree, huffing a little as glance up at Tsu'tey, both irritated and amazed at how hard he seems to be pushing you. Day after day, and it doesn't get any easier with time. He pushes and pushes, and he keeps pushing until you physically cannot move another step. Yet when he drops down from the trees, eyeing you harshly— you straighten up and stare him down. You want to believe you can handle him, even if it means pretending like your mind is not stretched to its very limit as you look at him.
Becoming one with the people, as the tribe elder said, has become next to impossible with Tsu'tey as your guide. He has made no secret that he wants you to fail, to barely be able to get up the next day—let alone be here. "You did good." It's as if something breaks mechanically as you skip a step, body adjusting as your mind processes his words. Hardly a compliment after the day you had, but coming from him, you beam a little. He thinks you did a good job.
"I did my best." And he smiles. Odd, a returned gesture of kindness. You quirk your head, but don't mention it in fear of it never happening again. You had always shown such interest in him, curiosity of the things he knows about Pandora, but he barely glanced your way. Barely seemed to notice you hit the ground over and over again, the mud that was caked into your body as you wiped it away. But he did. In his own, a silent judgement—kind of way.
At first, his disinterest was defeating and it made you want to quit, but that defeat quickly turned into motivation. Instead of drifting off in thought every time he critiqued, you would power through and push yourself further than before—you suddenly had a lot to prove to Tsu'tey.
You feel yourself being ripped away from your Avatar, your mind splintering and you realize Grace is hovering over you with—hate. She seems hateful and angry. But so are you.
"Are you kidding me? Are you serious right now?!" You can hardly breathe as you fling the tech off your frame and swing your leg over the edge.
"When were you going to tell me?" You glare, grabbing the prosthetic that's leaned against the chamber.
"Grace you just pulled me out of there mid-link. What if-"
"You work for the Colonel now?" Shit. You adjust the prosthetic and swallow down the bile, she doesn't care about you. Just about her science.
"No you listen! You report to me, my science and my program! I can take this shit from Sully-"
"Ma'am... with all due respect, I report to you and him. That's my job. My expectation because he's the one that signs my check, and makes sure I get my benefits."
"You're starting to sound more like a soldier than a scientist, Y/N." It is her sneer that does it for you, that pushes you over the edge and sends you into thought. You can hardly breath as you tuck your hands behind your back, wrist into palm.
"With all due respect Grace, make me." You may lack one less limb than her, but you take her and half this department before they got you down. "I have every right to be here, I worked just as hard and did just as much."
"Pack your shit, we're leaving. All of us." You don't break eye contact, watching as she lights a cigarette and turns her back to you. A part of you wishes you had hit her, just once. One good hit, but you watch her begin packing and then go to your room.
You have to prevent yourself from jumping across the helo when Grace comments about how it explains why they always gave you the gun. Its because you were trained, military—and you weren't someone she has control over and so she moved you all. Everyone to shacks in the middle of nowhere.
She kept you under wraps though and out of the chambers, careful to keep you from reaching out to anyone. It was like a cruel punishment, and all it did was tether you to the crutch. Not caring enough to put on the prosthetic in such a small space with every intention of sitting most of the day.
But every night you hear about his life, his journey to becoming one with the people—for days. You had half hoped Tsu'tey would ask about you, but he didn't—he was harsher on Sully, protective when Sully tried to bring you up.
You had tried to listen to Grace with interest, leaned back almost completely in your chair as she continues to lecture you about lying. Detailing every lie you ever told, forgetting that you really do have a degree in biology. You just never applied it in a science context until you were on Pandora. She even touches im how its dumb to lie about something so stupid when you are friends. So even as Norm sits next to you, having dealt with Grace for about half as long as you when it comes to her judgement.
"Honestly Y/N, you should have just said something. But instead you let yourself be micromanaged by a couple G.I. Joes." You lean forward, chin on your hand that rests on your thigh.
"So what?" You pause, "I was just supposed to admit to being a soldier and hope you didn't judge me so quick?"
"Like with Jake? Honestly Grace, its plenty important to you that your science project remains yours."
"Well I mean of course its important, we don't need another-"
"Another what? Trigger happy moron? When have I ever been that?"
The conversation ends there, and back to being grounded and ignored. Graces specialty around here. She had Sully, that was her in with the clan... You weren't important to that.
Grace throws something in front of you, papers—you half expect them to be resignation papers. She likes trying to force your hand into leaving, the betrayal still fresh in her mind.
"Don't make me regret this." Its approval to make her your boss, she signs your check...You nod, pulling yourself to your feet—using the crutch, you head the link chamber.
Your throat tight as you settle into the gel, leaning back and letting the tech settle over your body. Melding to you as you shut your eyes and head into the dark. Hopefully you aren't dead yet.
At first, there is a block that keeps you from fully coming too and then the darkness shifts. You feel your fingers and toes, all ten toes. You open your eyes and find yourself in a large room, the familiar hammocks beneath you. Then you see the healers, who see you awake and push you back into the hammock.
"Stay." They whisper, you nod, but as soon as they turn the corner—who climb out of the hammock and feel the wood beneath your feet. The stiffness in every muscle unmistakable to the point that you think about listening, but why would you?
First step. You've got this. Second step, you see a figure turn the corner and stumble back- "Tsu'tey."
"You're not welcome here, demon." It feels as though everything, every fiber of being has drained away from you—leaving only a shell. You half wonder if he realizes how cruel he looks, how much hate he conveys with those eyes—you're tired of people looking at you with hate.
"Are we back to this?" You ask lips pressed into a thin line, it may be a different body, but it is still you and the same mannerisms.
"You walk in a false body."
"You knew this." You sneer, walking towards him until you are just in front of him. While your tone is angry, your eyes are sad. "I never made that a secret."
Even as the hardness melts away from him, when he reaches out to touch your cheek and push hair away from your face. "You-" He pauses, not trusting himself to speak before he puffs out all the air in his lungs. "You worried me."
You didn't know this, and you wouldn't unless someone had the guts to go around Tsu'tey, but he spent most of his days with your still form. The healers had spread the rumor quickly of his interest, but they had grown accustomed to seeing you with him. Assumed it was by the chiefs orders alone, but it was also because he found comfort in your presence. You never expected anything more of him and he appreciated the gentle kindness that your words often held.
Pinned to the ground, you struggle against the binds until the arrows and spears lock your muscles in place. Even with hands grabbing at you, pulling the braid taunt and tender, all you can think about is Tsu'teys' word to describe you: 'demons'. You shouldn't take it personally, you've never met him in your life and know that the Na'vi hate you.
Approaching Home Tree though, you fall under the spell of Pandora once more and the world shifts for a second. Beautiful. Unlike your science buddies, you never had the chance to see this in person—the friendship with the Na'vi long over.
"We have tried to teach sky people, but you cannot fill a cup that is already full."
"Trust me, our cups are plenty empty ma'am." Oh Sully, you poor idiot— you think, trying your best to not squirm under Tsu'teys glare. "Just ask Dr Augustine, we're not scientists."
"We are Marines..." You speak up, going along with Sully and hoping your not dead in the next hour.
"Warriors... From the jarhead clan." Tsu'tey swears and you worry that you might be walking a thin line... He seems the most hostile, less willing to listen and bend.
"The chief says we're the first warrior dream walkers. That they must learn from us." You repeat as Sully nods to acknowledge as you wait.
("Tsu'tey you will teach the woman dream walker:") That does not receive a favorable response from him, one that makes you think Sully might be the only one to live between the two of you.
"Learn well Jake Sully. Y/N Y/L/N. Then we will see if your insanity can be cured." Yup, you're still going to die.
Once asleep, you begin to come to— hearing voices calling you and all you can manage is a laugh as you sit up straight. Holy shit... Now no one can say anything, because you're there. Inside the village.
Even when you wake again, you feel that jittery feeling until you hear him.
("Wake up demon.") What a way to wake up, to know he thinks so highly of you:
("You do not have to he so rude Tsu'tey. I'm very capable of understanding you.") He humphs.
("I do not care if you understand me. Go home demon.")
("You would hate that wouldn't you?") If his glaring eyes could push you out of the hammock now, you'd be falling to your death right about now.
Yet that wasn't the first time that you were torn from a link, but it certainly would be the last. You stand beside Tsu'tey knowing full well what is about to happen, Grace standing in the crowd. ("Tsu'tey will lead the war party!") There is a roar as he throws his bow into the air, you half imagine him to die if he proceeds. You know he will. As Jake enters, you feel it beginning to shift and it changes Tsu'teys expression.
"You mated with this woman!?" Fuck. You attempt to get closer, but are incapable of getting closer as people stop you. Starting with Neytiri's mother.
Tsu'tey paces, you see the shake in his chest and the tremor in his voice as he pulls his knife. You plead with him without saying a word to stop, but he doesn't. Yet once blood is drawn, you rush to Tsu'tey. He shakes you off, wiping away the blood.
Grace drops. Your eyes widen. Jake drops and Tsu'tey pulls his knife, and Neytiri protects his body. You look at Tsu'tey, feeling the shift again. Your breath catches, he meets your eye— to far to catch you, and too far to do anything yet watch your knees break. "Tsu'tey I-" Then you drop.
Waking from that moment, the panic still bursts through as your chamber is forced open. "Rise and shine, marine." Then you feel a fist hit your cheek, it'll bruise nicely— as you go unconscious. You're definitely getting tired of this.
They keep the cuffs on you, sitting you in the chair as you sneer at Colonel. You hadn't stopped with the ring of threats, your cheek still burning from the initial hit.
"We can talk them out." You assert, swearing up and down as your jaw tightens.
Parker turns towards you, pointing. "You're not going anywhere." You slump into your chair, but he nods in Sully's direction.
Tsu'tey watches Jake, the image of you dropping still stuck in his brain. He sees Grace, but he does not see you. Even as they tie Jake, the words slip out. "Where is Y/N?"
"You have to go! Y/Ns life depends on it!"
You sit in silence, in an isolated room until your chest begins to hurt. They took your prosthetic, took everything from you—chest completely solidified and throbbing. You feel the hard throb of your heart, you were supposed to be a protector of The People. Yet here you are, stuck in a place you don't want to be—in a room on your own. Waiting for the inevitable.
They let Norm sit in, but you weren't allowed— because you were one of them. You hear the shouts before you see them being forced into the same room, you don't ask because you know— you dont want to know anything.
Not a sound. You didnt speak because you couldn't, you were supposed to be there for Tsu'tey.
You half expected to never wake up again when the bullet hit you, the blood blended so well with the burnt red color of your t-shirt. You wanted it to just be a wine stain, to disappear and fade off to become just a stain. Yet it didn't. Instead, you felt a dizzy spell begin to fall over your frame and send you tumbling to the helo floor just after Grace.
Fuck, you think leaning onto the cold metal—the whirring sending you off to sleep.
You feel the burning sensation of your hands cupping the wound until you no longer have the strength; however, just as you are beginning to slip too deep. The world becoming too fuzzy to hold onto, Sully is shouting out for help—is he? You think so, its not him shouting—or anyone... Its what you wish they were doing, but instead you are laying in silence. Wondering what will take you first, blood loss or the shock of it all.
Tsu'tey listens to Sully, "I will fly with you." Sully nods, knowing full well what comes next as his eyes grow more serious. Which worries Tsu'tey.... "Where is Y/N?" He asks, it is almost as if he knows—as if he feels you fading in and out, even in your human form.
Sully's eyes shift to the ground, he can't lose two people in one day and he's afraid of what happens if you die. Of what Tsu'tey will do... Because the warrior may be hardheaded, but he cares about you in his own way. Whatever way that might be.
You lean into the pillow: is death supposed to feel this painless? Supposed to brush into your mind and numb the edges, to make it easier to stomach when you're able to watch it walk towards you. Inch by inch, step by step—the door opens and you force yourself to look up.
You're not ready to let go yet, "Hey Y/L/N... How ya feeling?" You try your best to smile, but to Norm, it is the saddest attempt he's seen out of you and Grace. "Look there—" You half expect it to be Pandora, or the Banshee Norm said Sully now rides... You expect Neytiri, not Tsu'tey.
He is watching you curiously, trying to see you in this form and he does... In your eyes and nose, the way your cheek is built and structure of your face. He sees a lot of you. He sees a lot of blood too. More than he has seen from a human.
"He insisted..." You half laugh, but choke on the lack of air—that bullet did a lot more damage than you expected it to have done.
"That's just a nice way of saying he made you." Even through the window he can hear he soft lulls of your breathing, and the dulcet of your voice. That too is very similar to the way you knows you. This is you.
"Glad you're still making jokes..." He whispers, taking out on of the masks that you are not so fond of, but know you need. "C'mon we got a party to go to."
Norm lifts your head and slips on the mask, watching your expression as it tightens—missing the pang of guilt that shows on Tsu'teys' face. Even as he lifts you, he tries not to jostle you too much. Trying his best to keep you grounded with him, hushing your small cries and soothing the sharp intakes of air. Norm's always been kind like that.
Yet once outside the hatch, Tsu'tey is standing next you—he's taller than you remember.... The Na'vi are taller, you curse yourself for forgetting such a simple fact. Something you should be aware of and remember, but everything seems out of touch now.
He tilts his head as he reaches out to brush his fingers against your cheek, feeling the soft flesh not jagged and bone like as he imagined aliens to look. Finally, you are able to bring yourself to look at him—really see him with your own eyes, you've always seen him. Tsu'tey had tried to rationalize everything he felt for you, wanting to find a reason to hate you. To hate your people. And he does hate them, just not you. He could never hate you.
"You're beautiful, even now." He whispers, reaching under Norm's arms and taking you into his with ease. You lean into him, maybe being close with him will make all the pain go away.
You half imagine Pandora to lose its beauty as the world becomes fuzzy, but it does not lose its beauty—the night life on Pandora is greater than any night on Earth. The wondrous colors and blends of glowing plants, the sounds of the forest humming to the song of the people.
Where you used to hear ringing, all you see is mouths moving—watching as the world fades out. "Be strong dewdrop." He whispers, such a name that would have made you laugh at any other point. Just not now as you struggle to grasp onto life. Why is it you can hear him?
Maybe that's just what you imagine he would say as you watch his lips move, as your body rests beneath the tendrils of the Mother Tree. You breath in and let your eyes close— this is it?
One last chance to relive it all, right on the border of life and death. Barely hanging onto the threads, pieces of who you are. Your mother and father stand before you smiling, even after the gunshots. Your sister smiling, even after she disappeared in the crowded Earth. Your best friend smiling as you walked into the women's restroom, just before it was blown to nothing. Your doctor smiling at you, just before he told you that your leg was beyond repair and somewhere in the disposal rooms. The bomber smiling as he admits on tape to killing your three closest friends, and how his one regret was not killing you too. Your therapist smiling when they say you've made progress even though you can't think about the past without your ear ringing. The scientist smiling, just as they take your resume to send you off to Pandora. Sully smiling when he hears your a Marine. Norm smiling when you speak to him in the Native tongue. Grace smiling when you stand up for the science, for the team, and for the Na'vi.
Tsu'tey just smiling at you.
You open your eyes... No burning, and no pain—just silence as you finally look around. You as the tendrils break away from you, as you look at your hand and then your toes. All ten toes.
You should be dead, but instead you are here. Ready to fight.
Tsu'tey let's his hand drag across your arm, down to the palm as he uses his other to touch your hair. It shouldn't feel different, you know this body— but it feels very different. Real. You don't feel like a ghost living in a shell, you feel every fiber of yourself.
"This suits you." Short sentences, but you half smile as you chuckle. Using your palm, you guide his hand to the place between your neck and jaw, leaning into the touch.
"You have... You're more you than you've ever been."
Nothing in all of your entire life could prepare you for this moment, to the five feet distance between you and your adversary. No amount of warning or preparation, or anything in between, could have given you enough courage to face this head on. Well, that's a lie-- he gave you the courage to see the world differently. To see all the world's in the universe differently because you're not afraid to admit you came to Pandora as a soldier-- a strategist, who knew Pandora inside and out, which gave you the opportunity to pilot an Avatar.
Your heart pounds viciously in your chest, threatening to burst through your ribs and rupture at any second. You have experienced war on Earth, been at the center of the devastation, but this feels different. You feel as though you have something to fight for right here, right now-- Pandora feels like your home.
Perhaps there is an important distinction to make, you are from Earth-- that is where your family is, but this planet feels more like home than Earth ever did. Maybe that has less to do with the planet itself, and more to do with the person you associate with Pandora. Never did you expect to be here, but it happened and now you worry that this beautiful world will be destroyed. Obliterated by the selfishness and greed of your kind, and it breaks your heart. On Earth, you were a strategist at the Pentagon having dedicated your life to service at the age of 17-- you knew nothing other than follow orders. Now you feel independent of orders, you feel as though both loyalty and duty has shifted to Pandora, and Tsu'tey. Even the thought of him gives you some form of comfort and strength.
That was the biggest shock, to find that you had a heart still and it had the capability of beating in time with another's. Mostly for the fact that you haven't been in love in over a decade because look how well it turned out the first time-- you became the good soldier, the one who followed orders and kept her head down as not to draw attention. You'd say it worked out pretty well for you because you were never hurt like that again. But now, you have opened back up and in turn, you feel whole again. You feel as though you have finally cut away those layers of scar tissue.
Following Tsu'teys' lead in the mountains and struggle less than the others because you're used to the challenges he gives. The truth is, he only looks back to look for you—and once you meet his eye, he faces forward once more and continues the journey. You trust your hands and body to know the way, and trust him to never lead you in the wrong direction. Just as you reach the top, he takes your hand and pulls you the last bit with a smile on his lips. It fades quick though, his expression hardening with a scorn.
Even as you watch Sully succeed, your nerves build and mount; you hesitate to move from your place at the edge of the falls. Hidden by the shadows of the cliffs edge. Even as you watch others succeed, you are still nervous.
("Tsu'tey.") He watches you before nodding in the direction of the Ikran, under his eye you do not feel as judge as you thought you would.
("Do not hesitate. The Ikran will know and so will you.") Through the falls, through the mist that touches your cheeks and sends a cold chill through you. You feel has hand wrap around your arm and pull you back towards him, the shadows of the cliffs casting a harsh shadow on his features. But on you, the light slants through the stone and cuts through you. You meet his eye, trying to read his expression as your heart pounds deep in your chest. You've never been able to read through the mask that he wears with everyone else, its always too much for you. ("Good luck Y/N.") He leans down to kiss your temple, his lips linger there and you go absolutely still. Completely silent. So when he lets you go, hands lingering on your shoulder you can just listen. ("You are the strongest one out here.") He is soft in private, most as impossible and hardheaded as others see him.
"Stronger than me." This is why he wanted you to go last.
Your first flight on your Ikran should have been the moment that stuck out when you think back. But its not. Instead it is the fact that Tsu'tey had finally let his guard down completely, finally seemed to trust you.
When the dust cleared that day, the silence of those lost was deafening—everyone wanted to celebrate in the beginning as the long war was over. Things could finally calm into peace, but there was work to be done.
Days went by, the rest of your race went home— days turned into weeks, and Jake joined you in the new body. You were what remained of the Avatar program, strong enough to live in both bodies and strong enough to choose the one that kept them with them. Soon enough, you no longer felt fear every time you walked with Tsu'tey. No longer felt the judgement that was mostly in your head.
You sit beside Tsu'tey, legs intertwined as you face each other in the trees. His entire demeanor has changed from when you first met him, he hates you less. His fingers are curious as they trace your limbs, he had imagined this a thousand times over—thought it was impossible to love you as much as he does.
"Now you must choose a man." Your eyes widen at the assertion, his body close, but far as his words put distance.
For a second, he hesitates, but he continues—still he traces your skin, feeling every finger and dimple in your hand. "A mate is important. Necessary. You have to choose."
"But what if they don't choose me?"
"Only an idiot would do that."
"Are you an idiot, Tsu'tey?" You ask, trying to will him to hear you as he often did to you. Trying to make him understand without ever saying a word.
It starts small, his lips on yours which surpasses all feelings and all logic. You are not left wondering about what's to come or what he feels, even as he separates. Caressing your cheeks and skin, willing you to hear him without a word and you do.
Tsu'tey kneels before you, shifting both your bodies so that you are chest to chest— you can feel both his breathing and his heart as you let your hands run down his chest and torso.
As he brings his braid to the front, he reaches around your shoulder to yours. You feel every caress of skin and brief, fleeting touch. You try to feel more whole, but there isn't a piece missing anymore.
Nothing to fill because you are already whole.
Flowers of luminescence crowd the clearing as you let Tsu'tey embrace your hand until you are close. His body in a short sway as he smiles, others say that they only ever see him smile when he is with you.
("I'll swim and sail through savage seas... with never a fear of drowning. And gladly ride through the waves of life.") You start with quiet dulcets, your voice soothes every part of Tsu'tey and it grounds him to Pandora.
("If you would marry me... No scorching sun or freezing rain. Will stop me on my journey. If you will promise me your heart. And love me for eternity.") He smiles, joining into your dance and following your lead as you guide him with your hands.
("What are you doing?") You hush him.
("My dearest one. My darling dear. Your mighty words astound me. But no need for mighty deeds. When I feel your arms around me.") You geek him become more willing to move with you, twirling as Pandora comes alive beneath your feet.
("But we are already mated?") Still you hush him.
("But I would bring you rings of gold. Id even sing you poetry. And I would keep you from all harm. If you would stay beside me. I have no use fir rings of gold. I care not for your poetry. I only want your hand to hold. I only want you near me.") By now, he is into the movements and leading the dance. Even as Pandora comes alive around you. All is well.
("To love and kiss, to sweetly hold. For the dancing and the dreaming. Through all of life's sorrows and delights. I'll keep your laugh inside me. I'll swim and sail on savage seas...") As your voice slows, so does the movements.
("With never a fear if drowning. I'd gladly ride the waves of life. So you will marry me...") He leans down to press your foreheads together with the softest smile, with the gentle hands. Warrior or not, you've never had him be less than gentle with you. Even as the world caves in, as all the world fell apart and things shifted into something new and different. You were always the thing he coveted... protected...
For a second, all of Pandora is still... Not a sound. Only the glow to remind you of the truth, that you are alive and in one of the most beautiful places.
("What does that even mean?") He whispers and all you could do is smile. How could he say something so perfect, to male you laugh and smile? Yet he could listen to it all day, listen to you just speak a sound. It is his greatest pleasure, that and seeing you move through the trees.
Knowing he taught you to climb and move, but you showed him how to move forward. How to let go. How to keep loving, and how to love more.
So this is probably the happiest ending I've ever written, cause who doesn't love a feel good story. This is also eight thousand words long… so a lot of time and thought went into this.