The evil king who will conquer the world!

Robin, She/her, bi, white, Minors prefer dont follow but if you must then blacklist #nsft thanks. bigots DNI unless you want to be stomped. formerly rasputin-gold

[thecollectibles]

Uncle, how to get to the beautiful country? by Xiaoyu Wang

[larval-tear]

[blackpyrefly]

william the conqueror: i shall take england for normandy and become its king

william the concurrer: i agree

[emailclub]

moaning

[hsuhaohsuhaohsuhao]

I have been in 3 games

[frot-cember-deactivated20241214]

does that include your severed head in mk11

[hsuhaohsuhaohsuhao]

Nno

[frot-cember-deactivated20241214]

then im sorry hsu hao but I think you were only in 2 games 😔 but that’s ok buddy, most of us haven’t been in any!

[emailclub]

what about my pancakes

[sailorbrazil]

this is not about you or your pancakes please read the room

[hsuhaohsuhaohsuhao]

I was in Mortal Kombat Deadly Alliance Mortal Kombat Advance and Mortal Kombat Armageddon I promise

[nvtxl]

club

[pjackk]

i love my yoy/pet

[weepingchoir]

This isn’t fucking funny. My father was torn to pieces in the noob wars by a silver rank landmine

[contemptible-scoundrel]

how does your dad being reduced to freelo protect our guild

[save-motasems-family]

Oh my God, my wife has been in the hospital unconscious for a two week.

My wife is suffering from severe malnutrition and is five months pregnant. We've been here at the hospital for a week, fighting for her.

My wife urgently needs treatment in order for her condition to improve.

We are living through catastrophic conditions; we are suffering from a severe shortage of food and medicine.

We urgently need 450 euros to secure the necessary treatment and food for my wife and unborn child before her health deteriorates further. I implore you, with compassion, to help me and stand by me in my ordeal. I cannot bear to see my wife die before my eyes; she means so much to me.😭

[save-motasems-family]

In this cursed war, I lost my mother and older brother due to lack of medical treatment caused by the war and the siege. The pain of loss is unbearable; my heart still aches every day because of their absence. 😭

[save-motasems-family]

Please help me secure the necessary treatment for my wife. Support me; don't leave me alone in this cruel world that abandons us to die alone. 😭

[save-motasems-family]

Please don't leave me alone. I beg you to help me save my wife. I don't want to lose her. I want her to recover and stand by me so we can continue our lives together. 😭

Please Donate Now ..🥹

• Chuffed - PayPal - Vetted#722

[save-motasems-family]

THESE MAY BE MY LAST WORDS ABOUT MY WIFE.

This could be the last time I write anything while my wife is still alive, and I will never forgive anyone who sees this and scrolls past without caring or even sharing.

The doctors said severe bleeding and weakness caused this terrifying moment, and without urgent treatment it could happen again anytime, so I ask, can you help me get treatment for my wife??, please donate now.

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[bermuda-n-drangle]

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

[pjackk]

Ok so apparently the girls went out for tinis and bruschetta without me

[pjackk]

For real my friend Tyler trying to get his mouth fucked tonight hmu if U intrested hes 29 and not very handsome at all and he gives bad head

[pjackk]

Hws high key ugly as fuck and needs his throat busted in urgenlty

[pokkin]

Undertale (2007) Gorilla Route

[sandmandaddy69]

[contemptible-scoundrel]

You're the Michael Sword.

[contemptible-scoundrel]

wield the Michael Sword

[eveydeevey]

[avalonjoan]

Love that you’re making it clear exactly what physical demands this job has, but could you possibly, potentially, phrase it differently?

[sternfleck]

My resume

[pjackk]

fuck my commute

[angelicguy]

step son saw my candy

[rappersdoingnormalshit-blog]

[st3fan00]

Why Wayne got socks in the jacuzzi

[whitegirlsaintshit]

those are his hooves you bitch

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

happy 10 years of those are his hooves you bitch

[whitegirlsaintshit]

why the FUCK am i still on here

[nianeyna]