Art Frees The Soul

Coming home to you || Valyssa

alyssa-lopz:

As soon as Val started talking, Alyssa was already shaking her head, holding tightly onto her sister. She knew where the argument would lead, and while in the past she had made the mistake of walking away, thinking it would be better in the long run, this time she wouldn’t. She couldn’t. “I’m sorry, sis, but it’s about time I give you some tough love up in here, so brace yourself.”

Taking a deep breath, a plan started coming together in her head before she even spoke, and with new resolve, Alyssa nodded to herself. “It’s not up to you, simple as that, so you best start getting that into your thick skull. There’s one thing you just don’t seem to understand and now that everything is out in the open, I believe you need to hear this.” It was a long shot, there was a lot at risk, but Alyssa had done it already, had managed to build a successful business, had a promising career, but there had always been something missing. “Maybe I’ve done well for myself so far, I own my place, a badass car, my bank account is decent, but without you there… Val, at the end of the day, it all feels so empty. I’m proud of what I’ve done, but it means little when it doesn’t really make me happy. You make me happy, and I’ll be damned if I don’t find a way to help you be happy too.”

Val groaned as Aly started talking. She didn’t want to hear it, but there was one thing Val knew not to do, and it was to actually ignore what her sister had to say. Even if listening left her angry, though she couldn’t pinpoint why. Maybe it was the lack of control, maybe it was the fact Aly was right, Val didn’t know but she didn’t like it. “I want you to be happy, but you dropping everything because of me is going to make me feel like shit. Just the thought of it always has. IT’s why things would get so bad. Why I wouldn’t tell you how bad I got. Because at the end of the day, I don’t want that on my shoulders. I don’t want to know I’m why you gave it all up. That will do the opposite of making me happy.”

Coming home to you || Valyssa

alyssa-lopz:

With the first admittance, and as painful as it was to hear it, something finally clicked in place within for Alyssa and her body unconsciously sagged. She had known somehow that her sister wasn’t doing as well as she said she was, but experience had taught her that if she let Val stew on it for a bit, she would break sooner or later. She always did, at least with Alyssa.

As if a bucket of cold water had been dropped on her, the older of the two felt all traces of sexual desire leave her body, every inch of her taken over by fierce protectiviness. Adjusting her body, she gathered her sister in her arms, holding her tight as she blinked back her own tears. She would be strong for Val, as she had always been. “Shh, it’s okay, V. I’m here now, I got you. I got you.” She whispered softly, carefully flipping their positions so that she wa son her back, Val’s body cradled against her side. “You should’ve talked to me, baby, you should’ve told me and you know I would move the entire world for you.”

Val curled into Aly’s side, head resting on her chest. As her sister spoke, Val felt herself tense. She had never wanted Aly to give it up. Never wanted her to do more than be there for her, but not to the point that Aly had to give things up. It felt like college all over again. Not wanting to let Aly know because she didn’t want to take Aly away from her life.

“But I’ve never wanted you to. I know you, you’d give it all up for me and I won’t let you. No matter how much easier it’d make things. You worked for it, I’m not going to let you give it up.” She sighed, curling further against her sister.

#i: santana lopez #sant #c: all

spitfiretana:

Ok, fair point. It’s still kinda mean having you both there and not go to see her though. I mean, every time I talk to her on the phone she asks when I’m coming to visit, if she ever found out that Aly was there… Yeah, about something, I just need some advice from her, is all. I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t, V. Ok, little V, it matters, I just don’t get it. Are we though? I don’t approve of you being banged up at all and I’m pretty sure Aly would agree with me on that one. If you say so.

I mean, probably. I’ve just been in no real frame of mind to go see her. Especially when Aly has been over. She’d kill us, we know... Okay... I know, but they matter to me and you could at least acknowledge that more than you do. When do I ever make sense? For the most part. You’re still off doing your thing. I’m living the “tortured artist” lifestyle and Aly is being Aly down in North Cuba. She doesn’t approve, which is why she’s been coming up to visit.

Coming home to you || Valyssa

alyssa-lopz:

To anybody else, it would look as if things were going swimmingly, but with each passing second and as she managed to take a glimpse through the lustful haze, Alyssa knew things were far from okay. It broke her heart, it stung, and not because of some nonsensical and frankly misplaced egotistical notion, but because she could read the signs written all over Valencia’s face, in every controlled gesture and breath. She was losing Val, fast, and pushing away her body’s needs, Aly fought to keep the girl grounded.

“Stay with me, V ” She whispered, having reached to cup Val’s face with her hands, her touch firm but gentle. “It’s okay, no matter what happens I’m not going anywhere. We have all the time in the world, and even if we didn’t, I’d be happy to just be here, with you, just like this.” Kissing her sister softly, She covered Val’s body with her own, using her solid weight to remind the other that she was there, that she wasn’t going anywhere. “I have already waited my whole life for you, I can wait a little longer and not have a single regret. Please, stay with me, V. I love you.“

Her arms arms wrapped around Aly’s waist as her sister laid on top of her. Her hold was tight, possessive, desperate. She was scared. She was scared because she hadn’t felt panic like this in years. The way her mind betrayed her. The way everything was too much but not enough. The way she just wanted to give up because she even hold it together for something she wanted. Except, what she wanted was Aly to show how much she loved her. Was that not what her sister was doing? Showing her how much she cared? How much she loved?

A sigh escaped Val’s lips as she felt the way her heart slowed down, the way the sound of it receded from her ears like a tide going out. Letting out a shaky breath, she opened her eyes. “I’m here Lyssa. I’m not okay, but I’m here.” The words left her mouth before she could stop them because the voice in the back of her head was still bitching but it seemed to quiet when she told the truth. “I’m sorry. I’ve been trying but not enough. I’ve been having nightmares and I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t know how to tell you that I need you so much because I’m tired of doing this without you. That I’m tired of doing this alone. I love you so much and I didn’t want to tear you away from everything you’ve built. I didn’t-” The tears began to fall as she cut herself off, guilt washing over her.

Coming home to you || Valyssa

alyssa-lopz:

The sensations that came with finally being able to touch Val the way she always wanted were indescribable, the emotions that came with it all threatening to burst out of her chest. Still in awe of how the other reacted to her touch, Alyssa ground her hips a little more insistently, the exploration of her hand and lips almost possessive. She was afraid to scare Val off, that it would be too much, but it was borderline impossible to reign herself in, especially when after years if pinning, she was finally allowed intoxicating freedom. Feeling her skin burning up, Aly leaned back, her hips still rocking back and forth lightly as she reached for the hem of her own top, pulling it over her head in a fluid motion. With steady confidence that betrayed her nervousness, Alyssa reached for Val’s hands, bringing them to rest on her abs, directly on her skin. “Touch me.” She almost begged.

Val couldn’t help the way she moaned at the way Aly treated her. The way she felt. Some voice in the back of her head was panicking but she told it to shut up, to let her have this. To not let the mental illness get in the way, just this once. To ignore the way she wondered if Aly could tell. Could that she still wasn’t okay, that she ate just enough to keep other people from worrying. That she still wasn’t sleeping because part of her was too afraid to wake up screaming. She told it to shut up, because the woman she loved was there and not paying attention would be wrong of her.

As Aly took off her shirt, Val licked her lips. As her sister’s hands took hers and she was instructed to touch those abs she had always loved, she sighed. It was a dream come true as her fingers danced across muscles, trying to commit all of it to memory. Her hands were still cautious not to move too high or too low, too afraid of where they might find themselves. Not wanting them to find someplace they were not wanted. Even as she yelled at the voice in her head to let her have this. It just screamed back at her about how much she wasn’t worthy of it. Her eyes closed, not wanting Aly to see the tears that were starting to sting them.

#i: santana lopez #c: santana lopez #c: all

spitfiretana:

Wait…if Aly was in town, why wouldn’t she let Mami know? What do you mean, it’s how it’s gone? She’s done this more than once? V, what the hell is going on? Seriously, even I know not to not visit Mami when I’m there. Is something wrong? Should I be worried? I’m going to call soon anyway, I want to talk to her about something. Hey, I am being nice! If I was being a bitch to them by my standards of bitch, then they wouldn’t be living with you anymore, would they? Not really, it’s just a TV show. It’s not whatever. That shit got fucked up and it was just meant to be a fun way to get the three of us back together and it just backfired on my ass and if anything it seems to have driven us further apart and that’s on me.

Because who wants to be responsible for worrying Mami? I was having it rough, the first time it was night and she was there and gone within 24 hours. The few times after that, she stayed a bit more, cause she had the time. We didn’t want to tell Mami because then we’d have to explain why Aly was there. Not to mention I’d get chewed out cause I live closest and I still don’t go see her as often as I should... Talk to her about something? Yeah, but you’re still being a bitch, Tana. To me it does, so shush. We’re the same as we’ve always been, except I’m a little more banged up than I was before, but not terribly. Nothing really changed.

Coming home to you || Valyssa

Slowly lowering her body so that their chests were pushed together and her legs were still bracketing Val’s hips, Aly grinned, going to nuzzle against her neck. “Well, you certainly aren’t keen on making things easy for me, are you now?” She asked playfully, taking one of the girl’s hands and lacing their fingers together, bringing them up above Val’s head and holding them there, pressed against the bed. The gentle nuzzling slowly shifted into featherlight kisses against the taut skin of her sister’s neck, pressing harder until she was shamelessly mouthing at her pulse point, raking her teeth over the same spot. It was all too easy to lose herself in Val, to get further carried away with each kiss, and without much of a conscious thought, her hips rocked back and forth subtly, her lips becoming more insistent as she searched the other’s, her free hand tracing the curves she had only ever dared to dream about touching.

Val smiled a bit at Aly's actions, before it turned to a teasing smirk at her words. "When have I ever?" She questioned. As Aly's mouth set to work on her neck a gasp turned into a moan, free hand gripping Aly's hip. The kisses were mind blowing and with the way Aly's hips were moving against her own, she couldn't help the way she moaned. The hand moving across her body had her arching to press into each touch the best she could. Her hips bucked involuntarily into Aly and Val bit her lip to stifle the moan at the feeling.

Coming home to you || Valyssa

alyssa-lopz:

“Both. Or maybe I’m just that awesome.” Aly jested, grinning softly at her sister. She knew Val, perhaps better than she knew herself, and it was clear that the adrenaline and dominance had all but left the girl’s body as she suddenly felt smaller in her arms. So she wrapped her arms around Val’s shoulders, offering silent comfort and a moment to gather herself. This was the part where she stepped in, stepped up to the challenge and offered reassurance in the strength of her arms, where she held on tightly to keep Val from falling apart and getting lost in her own head. That he always been her duty, not by blood but by choice.

She hadn’t made her own fears a secret, but in that moment, as the old nickname fell from her lips, and then said lips where upon hers, it all melted away. This was their moment, and Alyssa wasn’t about to let it be taken from them by their own fears. So she kissed back, cradling Val’s face to keep her close, arching her body against her sister’s, deepening the dance of their lips. Aly kissed her with fire on her lips, her hands finding their way back to her hair, fisting the silky tresses with borderline desperation, both to show her always latent desire, and to reign herself in, as the last thing she wanted was to puch too far. “Fuck, V…” She whispered after breaking the kiss, breathing heavily against the woman’s lips, eyes hooded and gaze heavy. “Tell me what you want, baby girl, and I’ll give it to you.”

Val smiled softly at Aly, the hands in her hair a reassurance, more than when Aly’s arms had just been wrapped around her. When Aly spoke, she slowly let her body relax, laying back and gently pulling her sister with her. Something about Aly calling her baby girl was right and she kissed Aly softly as she thought over what she wanted. “I want you to prove just how much you love me.” The words all but fell from her lips and she blushed at it, giggling. It was’t how she wanted it to come out, but it worked. She wasn’t sure what exactly she meant by her words, but she had a feeling Aly would figure it out, she was good at stuff like that.

Coming home to you || Valyssa

alyssa-lopz:

It wasn’t the most graceful of things, but somehow, she managed to follow Val to the bed with minimal embarrassment. Lips still puckered up and chasing her sister’s, Alyssa watched with a dazed expression as her sister sat on the edge of the bed, and only barely managed to stop herself from moaning at the indescribable feeling of being able to be with Val like this, so close and without false pretenses. She did sigh, though, her hands finding their way to the girl’s hair, tilting her head up to kiss her softly. “You’re thinking too hard, V. It’s okay, just relax. We don’t have to go any further than this.”

Val sighed, resting her head against Aly’s. “Always did know what I was thinking, or did you smell the gears burning and guess?” She giggled a bit, kissing Aly, arms protectively wrapped around her sister’s waist. She then buried her face in Aly’s neck, breathing a little, trying to ground herself. This was Aly. This wasn’t Reagan. It wasn’t anyone else who’d fucked her over. This was the one person who had always fought to do anything but. This was the person she’d pushed out of bed over morning wood but still had in her bed again the next night. This was, “Lyssa.” The nickname slipped from her lips as she nuzzled against Aly’s neck.

Pulling her face from Aly’s neck, she kissed her. It was gentle and hesitant, whatever dominance that she’d held before all but drained from her. It had to be, no matter what happened, because losing control safely meant needing someone else to have it. Meant needing Aly to have it.

Coming home to you || Valyssa

alyssa-lopz:

Like an eager puppy, Alyssa was happy to follow Val further into the darkened apartment,her bag all but forgotten somewhere in the living room. If she was to be honest, having Val being the aggressor, per say, was not something she would’ve ever imagined, but the older of the two was not about to complain. As her back met the door with a dull thud, her dopey smile changed into something more feral, and when Val kissed her, she kissed back without holding herself back. Years of wanting and pining in secret were poured into the kiss, into the way her body arched against the other’s, finally free of the restrains that held her back for so long.

This was real, Val wanted her, and Alyssa was on cloud nine.

Feeling the way Aly reacted to her had Val returning the energy. Letting years of doubt and hidden secrets fall away. Her fingers in Aly’s hair held her head in place as she pulled her sister off the door. She kept her lips on Aly’s as she moved skillfully across her bedroom, only breaking to breathe.

When they reached the bed, Val smiled, as she took a seat on the edge, pulling Aly into her lap, hands moving from her hair to around her waist. She’d thought about this for so long, getting Aly like this. Val was barely in control of what she was doing and that scared her. She’d made a vow to herself about how this was going to go but the closer her head got to stopping the thinking, the more worried she got about losing control and breaking that.

Coming home to you || Valyssa

“You know me, I’m greedy, so both would be good.” Alyssa all but mumbled, surrendering all coherent thought in favor of losing herself in the feeling and taste of Val. If her sister was merely teasing her, she would likely have an aneurysm or something equally as dramatic, but if not… well, let’s just say Aly wanted - more than anything - to get down to it already. Even if all they did was make out like hormonal teenagers, she would take it as long as it guaranteed the both of them in a horizontal position. “No, but seriously, your room. Now.”

Val smirked as Aly spoke. Part of her wasn't entirely sure where this would go. She knew where she wanted it to, but the rest of her was still hesitant on the matter. As Aly spoke again, Val nodded silently, before pulling herself from the wall and backing towards her bedroom door, more than a little happy she'd thought to leave it open.

Once through the door, she used one hand to push it mostly closed before spinning and closing it the rest of the way by pushing Aly up against it. Kissing her sister deeply, she smiled.

Coming home to you || Valyssa

alyssa-lopz:

“Please, I’m a tiny latina with a monumental temper that lift weights for fun, I’d be the most dangerous creep out there.” Aly jested lightly, softly raking her teeth over Val’s pulse point, before they were kissing again. The feeling and taste of Val was something she just knew she would never grow tired of, would never stop craving it, and it showed in the way her body arched against her sister’s, seeking more of the heavenly sensations. “Oh yeah? And are you gonna share, or would you rather just show me?” The older of the two asked in a quiet husk, her hands moving to Val’s waist, clutching at the material of her top possessively.

Aly had a point, but why would anyone willingly go out at this hour anyway? Particularly when they had a beautiful girl they could do other things with? Not that Val would go out at this hour with nothing to do, either. Feeling the way Aly arched into her, Val smirked. “Depends, which would you prefer?” She bit her bottom lip as the hands clutched her top, the hand still on Aly’s chin moving to cup the back of her neck, pulling her into another kiss.