hey! I’m allie, they/she, uk, 30s, lapsed medievalist mostly on all fours heaving and retching like a cat about rpgs, resulting hairballs below
my ao3 is here and tumblr writing tag is here
(mutuals, please just ask for my discord if you want! i luv 2 yap ♥️)
some selected fic (skogr's version)
newer faves:
⚔️ a quiet life | Kingdom Come Deliverance 2 | T | pre-relationship Hansry | 10k (complete) | Henry co-ordinates a jailbreak to give Hans a small reprieve from his effective house arrest in Ruthard Palace.
⚔️ a brand that sticks | Kingdom Come Deliverance 2 | E | post-game Hansry | ~9k (complete) | Henry and Hans in the hazy summer days at the Devil's Den, in the wake of Suchdol.
🗡️ a secret third thing | Dragon Age: The Veilguard | T | Teia/Viago | 18k (complete) | Viago and Teia renegotiate the boundaries of their relationship.
⚔️ sophisticatus | Kingdom Come Deliverance 2 | M | pre-relationship Hansry, Bartosch/Henry | ~6k (complete) | In which Henry is at least aware he's having An Awakening, and then there's Hans "which could mean nothing" Capon.
oldies but goodies:
🗡️ it's about belonging | Dragon Age Inquisition | T | Gen | 8k (complete) | Krem's escape from the Tevinter military and meeting Bull and the Chargers.
🪐 not all it's cracked up to be | Mass Effect 2 | T | Joker/EDI, Shepard/Garrus | ~7k (complete) | Joker tries to figure out who Garrus' secret human hook-up is.
🎲 Orphantaker | Critical Role, The Mighty Nein | T | Beau/Yasha | 1.5k (complete) | Yasha settles into a quieter pace of life.
🪐 (after)life after purgatory | Mass Effect 3 | T | past Aria/Nyreen, Aria/OC | ~7k (complete) | Aria cleans up Omega after liberating it from Cerberus.
🪐 Dossier: Super Sweet Sixteen | Mass Effect 2 | T | pre-relationship Shepard/Garrus | 8k (complete) | Garrus has never attended a krogan party before.
🪐 no matter how bright | Mass Effect Andromeda | T | Avitus Rix/Macen Barro | 20k (complete) | Avitus navigates his grief and his new role as pathfinder, alone.
🪐 a little louder than the living | Mass Effect (1-3) | T | Shepard/Garrus | 20k (complete) | An exploration of a ruthless Shepard.
🪐 You're on your own, kid | Mass Effect | T | F!Shepard/Liara | ~5k (complete) | The mortifying ordeal of being spied on by your estranged father.
🗡️ Bloodlines | Dragon Age Origins | E | Warden/Alistair | 35k (complete) | Alistair wrestling with his complicated feelings about family and love and loss.
the ongoing longfics:
🗡️ Salt & Blood | Dragon Age: The Veilguard | E | M!Rookanis, Spookanis, Trans Rook | In which the absolute clown of a Rook I accidentally came up with has taken up permanent residence in my brain.
🗡️ Opposition, in all things | Dragon Age Inquisition | E | Inquisitor/Cullen | The soppy, self indulgent beast of my heart featuring my most beloved Inquisitor.
the YES I am working on these, pay no heed to the last update date:
🗡️ Sometimes, a family | Dragon Age Inquisition | E | F!Adaar/The Iron Bull | A reimagining of the valo-kas war table mission, except the Inquisitor and the Chargers rescue them.
🪐 leave a trace | Mass Effect 2 | T | pre-relationship Shepard/Garrus, past relationship Garrus/Sidonis | Garrus in the wake of Omega as he grapples with the fallout of putting things he thought he'd learned from Shepard into practice to devastating effect.
8. if you had to write a sequel to a fic, you'd write one for...
ummmm!!! ooooooooh!! my dragon age worms just started going nuts in my brain HELP!! at least twice a day I think about kinging viago (terrible idea. terrible terrible bad bad bad no don't do it) and following up a secret third thing because I keep thinking horrible awful things about how that would pan out given everything I ended up implying in that. maybe teia would be the one to kill fulgeno. maybe viago thinks he'd be fine with that. maybe he wouldn't. maybe he'd have to have a tactical human marriage and have tactical human offspring. she would NOT be his mistress. oh my god it would be messy :):):):) awful :):):)
25. beside writing, what are your other hobbies?
I am a redwall mouse of a human. a hobbit. a clown. I'm a whimsical idiot!! I like to sew and crochet and look at flowers and trees and bake and eat little treats and I have a house full of silly little trinkets! i love a Day Trip with all my heart! I am obviously terminally online but I do touch a lot of grass and medieval ruins and hope this evens it out a little lol
I like writing dialogue a lot!! what's better than your special guys yappin? what's better!! :') I quite often find myself in the position where characters are discussing [x] and I need them to get to [y] and I really enjoy figuring out how to get there in a way that makes sense. blorbo towers of hanoi 😌
28. your least favourite part of the writing process
the bit where I have to take out all the extraneous and unneeded commas and italics I added with gay abandon :( my friends :( my beloved :(
a while ago in the discord gc we were discussing if you were to do a retelling of a preexisting story etc, what would you do, and I instantly without thinking said "merlin living backwards through time but hardcore mode" because sorry that's heartbreaking and makes me want to die!!!!! his friends die on the first day he meets them and he's not even sad about it!!! he doesn't know them!! the day he meets them (in their lifetime) he knows it's the day they part and he's devastated and weeping and they don't know who he is!! TH White's merlin situation is fun but my vision is WORSE and SADDER. I'm not writing it. but oh my god sometimes I think about it really hard. maybe I don't even want it to be merlin. maybe I just want to invent another backwards guy to be devastated about. god maybe I should write that. OH NO
16. favourite place to write
at the moment, I have a nice little spot at my kitchen table in the corner of the room where I can set up my laptop and have a socket near me and the kettle is nearby and in the winter I could also plug in my heated wearable blanket lol. it's not very exciting but it's cosy and familiar to me :')
Okay here's all the ambient (non-conversation) dialogue I could find in Maleshov, including the infamous 'Hans is fun' guard dialogue.
But more important than that, the white dog has a name! It's Snapper!
Konrad: Lord von Bergow had to leave on important business for Sigismund. And he took a small escort with him, so the garrison is slightly weakened now. So, be extra alert on your watch. If I find anybody slacking off, they’ll get the whip.
Diepolt: You’ve got it Konrad.
Konrad: Diepolt, I’ll send Heimann to the gate, you’ll be in charge of the southern and eastern fortifications.
Diepolt: Alright Konrad. I’ll get right on it.
Konrad: Franz, run along back to the guardhouse and get some sleep so you don’t fall asleep during the night watch.
Franz: Aye, don’t worry.
Konrad: The rest of you know your orders. You’ll be sorry if you don’t. Dismissed. And don’t drink too much.
Diepolt: Got it, Konrad.
Konrad: Vitek, the cart is starting to get on my fucking nerves.
Hired Hand Vitek: I understand. I’ll get right on it.
Konrad: And tell Drahomira it’s getting late, so she won’t forget to take some food to our honored guests. I gave her the keys so I wouldn’t have to fuck around with it myself.
Vitek: Don’t worry, it’s already taken care of. I saw her taking it to them.
Konrad: Well, that’s great. That woman must be the only one I can rely on.
(he moves to the outer bailey)
Konrad: Hey, you two! Have you seen Latsek and Deitrich?
Heimann: No, Maybe they went to the village or something.
Liepold: I don’t think so. I’ve a feeling I saw them in the castle. But that was some time in the afternoon... Before that messenger arrived and all that fuss started.
Konrad: Well, I’ll get my hands on them sooner or later... Anyway, pay attention now. I don’t want to repeat anything I told the fellahs up there, so I’ll keep it short. Lord von Bergow rode out, as you must have noticed. So you don’t have to work all that hard, but we don’t want things going to hell here either.
Heimann: Aye, commander.
Lipold: You got it.
Konrad: As I said, we have to maintain some basic duties, like shifts. You’re first on the gate, Heimann. Then Lipold will relieve you for the night watch. Or Latzek and Dietrich, if I find those lazy bastards.
Heimann: Understood. I’m on my way.
Konrad: Good. And keep your eyes peeled. Sir Otto might well send a rider with some urgent message, so let’s be ready.
Heimann: You can count on me. My eyes are wide open. (gets up)
Konrad: Well, you heard me. Rest as you see fit, so you’re alert and at full strength on the night shift.
Lipold: Aye, don’t overdo the booze, right?
Konrad: Something like that. But I could do with a beer myself, god damn it. This day has been totally shit, and my throat’s on fire. (goes into tent)
(I never found Latsek and Deitrich so they must’ve been in town. It’s not Guard 1 and 2 because they were in the meeting with Konrad)
Guard 1: So, who’s going to take watch?
Guard 2: Well... How about splitting it?
Guard 1: That might work, but I’d rather talk about it over a pint of ale.
Guard 2: Good idea. And let’s bring some dice... Whoever loses will take the night shift with Lipold.
Guard 1: Haha! You’d better get some rest then, because I’ll wipe the table with you!
Guard 2: We’ll see about that!
(they move inside and play dice)
Guard 1: Hey, you’re always asking around. Got any interesting news?
Guard 2: I might have. I overheard that young gent what came with the Margrave saying something was going to happen in Kuttenberg.
Guard 1: You mean that fellah that hacked up poor old Snapper? He’s a bit gone in the head, ain’t he?
Guard 2: He just might be. But they said they’d be going after the Jews, ‘cause they’re hiding someone.
Guard 1: If his lordship goes after them like he did before in Prague, there won’t be stone on stone left in that quarter of theirs. I wouldn’t wish that on them.
Guard 2: You wouldn’t wish that on ‘em, eh? But it’s their own damn fault. Dirty traitors.
(pretty sure they meant Markvart von Aulitz when they said “the Margrave”, they also call the lady upstairs Ophelia but her name is Ofka)
Guard 1: Hey, next time we get near an army camp, we need to come up with a way to harass them Hungarians. They’re so bloody arrogant! And they always stink the place up!
Guard 2: Aye, tie their moustaches together and drag them thru the shit! Take their horses to the woods, that’ll fuck them up. And hang pigs’ heads on their tents.
Guard 1: When their women are washing their kaftans, then we’ll take them and... and do something funny with them.
Guard 2: Yeah, so while you’re figuring out what, I’ll be introducing myself to the local wenches.
Guard 1: Well, I’d better think fast, because with you they’ll be taking to their heels pretty damn quick.
Guard 2: You prick! Don’t start again!
Guard 1: Hey, since Lord von Bergow ain’t here, why don’t we invite the young gentleman what’s locked up there to come and play with us! He was a lot of fun last time when von Bergow allowed us to take him out for a ride.
Guard 2: Aye, fun, but I wouldn’t take the chance. As soon as his Lordship comes home, he’d have our hides for it. And we’d have to explain it to Lady Ophelia. And I don’t want to do that. Besides, there’s too many stairs. At least there’s beer here!
Guard 1: I’d like to know where Karel and Zdenda are (spoke too fast).
Guard 2: I bet they’re somewhere holed up in the tower, stuffing their faces. Like the last time his Lordship went away. Fucking hounds.
Guard 1: If Lady Ophelia catches them at it, they’ll get a proper hiding. If they had anything in them noggins of theirs, they’d be sitting here with us with a beer.
Guard 1: This is boring as fuck. I feel like we’ve been playing dice for an eternity! We played yesterday, we played the day before that, we’re playing today... It’s starting to piss me off.
Guard 2: Heh heh, don’t complain. You’re just sour because you can’t tell a four from a five. I’m having fun as it happens. Better to sit quietly on our arses than to get messed up in Lord knows what. Enjoy it while you can, before his Lordship orders us to get our arses moving again.
Guard 1: Kurva! It’s boring here if you ask me! Not even a beer can fix it. I think I’ve had enough of it. I hope I’ll get a patrol when His Lordship gets back. At least a ride in the countryside, instead of sitting on my arse here all the time like a chump.
Guard 2: Ty vole! Be careful what you wish for. His Nibs left in a hurry. I heard it had something to do with the King.
Guard 1: Whatever it is, I hope he comes back with something interesting. Too bad I didn’t leave with his escort entourage, at least I’d be doing something interesting.
Guard 2: Who’d take you along to anything interesting?
Guard 1: Shut your mouth! I’ve had enough of this damned fortress. And you especially.
(upstairs w/ Karel and Zdenda I don’t know which is which so I just chose at random; I went by voice actor to keep which is which straight)
Ofka: What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be keeping watch or polishing the armor somewhere?
Karel: Konrad sent us to keep watch here.
Ofka: I think you’re just holing up here! I’ll ask him first thing tomorrow and see what he tells me.
Zdenda: Wait, ma’am! We’re on Konrad’s blacklist and ever since he yelled at you last time, I reckon you are too. So what do you say we help each other out a bit here? We’ll hole up a bit downstairs and you won’t say anything to the captain about it.
Karel: Have no fear, we’ll just have a little nibble, with your kind permission.
Zdenda: And we’ll be as quiet as mice in the hall. We won’t disturb you, trust me.
Ofka: I hope so, now off with you.
(she goes into her room, they go downstairs to the hall and pantry)
Karel: You’re a sharp one. You sure know how to deal with her.
Zdenda: Aye... I actually feel sorry for her, with nobody taking her seriously here. She’s some third-rate daughter of some lord from who knows where, so she was actually quite lucky that old Otto took a liking to her. The thing is, everybody knows where she comes from and treats her accordingly.
Karel: Bloody hell “old Otto”. He’d have you whipped for that.
Zdenda: You’re right. I’d better keep our lord out of my mouth and stuff it with sausage instead. So let’s dig in and make the best of Ofka’s favor.
(goes to the pantry)
Zdenda: I love this, his lordship should ride out like this more often, so we can get the fare we deserve.
Karel: That’s for sure. Only we shouldn’t eat everything up, so they don’t catch on to us.
Zdenda: Don’t worry, no one will notice anything, and even if they do, we’ll talk our way out of it. Let’s have a few more morsels and fill our bellies properly. And then we can go and see Drahomira in the kitchen and get something else from her.
Karel: That’ll be soup again, like always, I saw her plucking a chicken today.
Zdenda: Aye, but warm broth will do your belly good.
Karel: It’s better than gruel, you got that right. But no soup yet, let’s have another sausage, heh heh. I’ll go grab it.
(grabs more sausages)
Zdenda: This is some damn fine grub. Much better than what they give us. And how it’s spiced! It’s a fairy tale in my mouth.
Karel: Keep your voice down, or Konrad will hear you and we’ll be in trouble. Stuff that gob of yours instead.
Zdenda: You don’t have to ask me twice. But there’s nothing left. Go and grab us some more.
Karel: Go yourself. I’m going there all the time.
Zdenda: Because you’ve got a natural born talent for it. Besides, I went last time, when we nicked that ham from the kitchen.
Karel: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you and your ham! I’m going already!
Zdenda: What about some food for the young gents upstairs?
Karel: Nothing today. We have enough here and I saw Drahomira taking something up to him. But next time we have to offer to take it up there. Drahomira’s glad if she doesn’t have to use the stairs...
Zdenda: Yeah, it’s a good deed, even if the young gent gets our swill instead of his noble food.
Karel: Right, the nobles ought to learn how their subjects live, ey?
Zdenda: When you’re too old to be a soldier, you can always get a job teaching.
Karel: Heh, that wouldn’t be all that bad. If they’ve got fine sausages like these! I’ll go and get us a couple more.
Latzek: Go and get more sausages! I bet Lord von Bergow is sitting at some royal table right now so he won’t miss them.
Karel: I’m not so sure about that. I don’t think the king is in a very hospitable mood, seeing what that messenger of his said. More like His Lordship has a problem, I reckon.
Latzek: Knowing His Nibs, he won’t settle for bread or water. But whatever’s up with the king, it’s a nobles’ affair. And as far as we’re concerned, I’m leading the charge on the pantry!
Karel: The vanguard is ready to go, sir!
(extra special bonus ambient dialogue between Hans and Brabant)
Hans: Brabant, keep watch by the stairway. I’ll go to the window and wait for Henry’s signal.
Brabant: I think it would be better if you watch the stairs.
Hans: Why’s that?
Brabant: You are younger. You have better hearing.
Hans: You said you once discovered a dozen English spies, so you can surely handle one stairway.
Brabant: I discovered them because I smelt them from a distance. You see, Les Anglais stink to high heaven.
Hans: Then you’d better hope von Bergow’s men stink like rotten fish.
Brabant: Eh bien... I will watch the stairs, if Monsieur le Chapon so insists.
(No, Brabant, Hans HAS to be at the window becuase HE needs to be the one who sees Henry's signal. Proud of my man for sticking to his guns)
oh god I'm sorry this got long, it's not even very interesting probably but
it starts with a vague idea/concept that hits me like a freight train, perhaps in the middle of a meeting, perhaps in the shower, perhaps I simply black out and start receiving visions. this might make it sound like I'm a fount of amazing ideas but this is not true. I simply fixate on something and become unwell. eg current fic I am writing I simply thought: what if horse? perhaps? this is not a profound thought but it is all my simple mind needs.
I do plan... but it depends. they're not detailed generally. especially not for fanfic. (original, more so) I do tend to have a "thesis" and omg sorry for such a pretentious word but it's how I think of it! I'm just trying to say something or portray a particular vibe and knowing that overall stops me from getting too in the weeds a bit?
I tend to keep a document on scrivener in the project which is "fun things which occur to me" in no particular order so if I have a particularly good thought it's somewhere. I think I end up using like 60% of these which is always surprisingly low to me. but when it starts to take shape sometimes the fun things I thought of for later down the line just don't fit anymore! I keep everything because you can reappropriate things years down the line in other places (often surprising) and I do!! often!!
this is relatively new for me as a historically clean but slower first drafter: right now I mostly write in violent bursts like I'm being hunted for sport, interspersed a bit with slow 1 word per minute sludge moments when I get stuck somewhere. but I've been trying to not get into sludge mode and just... leave it. hop forward a tiny bit. try a different angle. making these decisions very quickly so I can't start questioning them. just start a new paragraph and go!! quick!!!! the blood thirsty millionaire is behind you with a GUN!!! sludge used to be a writing thing for me but now it is an editing thing. this is more fun!! and it didn't come naturally to me lol so I'm kinda proud of myself
20. in what year did you publish your first fic
on ffn... 2005. but we're not talking about that!!! (it is not good, I was a baby teenager. let us not speak of such things. I regret nothing but I do NOT want to remember or revisit omg.) my first ao3 fic was 2011 but the first one you can find on ao3 skogr is 2015. it is sometimes good to start over... as a treat. but I've been happy here since!! skogr is my home now and I live here :')
one of the biggest things I can advocate for (in academia, but also just in life) is to build credibility with yourself. It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking of yourself as someone who does things last minute or who struggles to start tasks. people will tell you that you just need to build different habits, but I know for me at least the idea of ‘habit’ is sort of abstract and dehumanizing. Credibility is more like ‘I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it, and more importantly I trust myself to do it’. you set an assignment goal for the day and you meet it, and then you feel stronger setting one the next day. You establish a relationship with yourself that’s built on confidence and trust. That in turn starts to erode the barrier of insecurity and perfectionism and makes it easier to start and finish tasks. reframing the narrative as a process of building credibility makes it easier to celebrate each step and recognize how strong your relationship with yourself can become
thinking about ianthe and harrow sacreligiously indulging each other by using last names, sinning and scrambling for scraps of the pre-canonized selves neither of them thought they would miss. the selves that were tied down by something as ephemeral and ridiculous as filial piety and blood. it’s over and done and we can’t go back and don’t tell god but please just say my name out loud
29. how easy is it for you to come up with titles?
my BELOATHED omg. I come up with embarrassing and heartfelt draft titles so easily. I then have to have a crisis about whether or not I keep them and that takes up a lot of time. sometimes I do. sometimes not! last fic I published (a brand that sticks) is embarrassing bc I was thinking about that quote from Shane 1953 and it DOES fit the heart of what I wanted that fic to be about but also it's sort of a misleading title (no one...is actually branded.... and the fandom is a game where the main character can in fact literally GET branded... but my soft buttery heart won out this time :') hopefully no one clicked on it like "aww yeah branding" and then was disappointed with soft yapping and. er. bad soft sex. ANYWAY.) "there's no living with a killing" STOP 😭😭
30. share a fic you're especially proud of
I think I'm always most proud of the most recent things I've written and put out into the world, boringly!! maybe this is common (you're always looking at your own improvement more than anyone else, I guess?) so right now I am feeling proud of the above alongside other most recent kcd offerings (because I am in the throes of something rn. my god I'm badly in the throes. I'm dying out here in the throes pals) but also I think I am. quietly proud of salt & blood. perhaps :')
something that's really tickling my brain at the moment is emotional romantic stupidity. is that a trope? lol I guess it's kinda yearning but the character is just being soooo both unconsciously but also wilfully stupid about it. both!! :') it can be yearning when there is no relationship (MMM GOOD SOUP) where they're just like "no no I feel normal about this I'm being normal I'M BEING REALLY NORMAL (doing something indescribably unhinged and refusing to interrogate any of their actions)" or it can be where there is something going on but they're still like "ok :) definitely not caught feelings btw :) I wouldn't do that btw :) I am feeling soooo normal btw!! (again just violently jumping up and down on any scrap of self awareness like it's oversized cardboard boxes they need to flatten to fit it in the recycling bin)"
(pls don't take this as pathetic as it sounds. although it probably is lol. but it's fine dw dw I'm fine) so I really slept quite well for the first time in a very long time last night and honestly it's all quite disturbing. being well rested?! is good actually?! you still have the thoughts like "I am very annoying" and "nobody likes me" etc etc but you just sort of sweep them off the table in a businesslike fashion and get on with your day. you don't have to have them bat about your head like furious seagulls. IMAGINE. cool to know for when I inevitably sleep awfully for the next few months now lol hah. haa. ha. god
Characters: Henry of Skalitz, Hans Capon, Godwin Oderin, Albich Uniczow
Pairing: Henry/Hans Capon, Henry & Godwin, Henry & Albich
Fandom: Kingdom Come: Deliverance
Rating: M
Words: 9k
Other Tags: Sickfic, Hurt/Comfort, Medieval Medicine, Humourism
Summary: Autumn has arrived, and as their time at the Devil's Den draws to a close one of Hans's invented illnesses swiftly becomes a real one.
His Ma once told him a lie, told often enough, will begin to embody the truth.
Like much of his mother's more superstitious advice, Henry ignored it, and continued living his life as though he were the first boy to ever live.
Like much of his mother's advice, it eventually comes back to haunt him.
Autumn leaves trim the trees outside the Devil's Den; branches trail with orange and yellow and red, like the colourful train of a bride's gown. This year, rather than being a portent of a bountiful harvest, they are an omen of the encroaching winter— and the wedding to follow.
At first it had been a game, inventing illnesses for Hans to recuperate from. A lingering cough from a siege that had nearly taken everything from them; a persistent headache sustained from an injury; a summer cold, a paradoxical illness that had infested the Den.
Rumours of some mysterious illness in Sedletz lent credence to the farce, and Hanush doesn't question why his nephew, until that point the picture of health, has suddenly become as sickly as a waifish orphan.
