sharing this here because i donāt think anyone who knows me irl still reads this.
last week marked 5 years since your death.
i was 22 when i blocked one of my best friendās numbers because we had mutually started to realize we had romantic feelings for each other. at the time he was in an on again off again relationship with someone he was at one point engaged to. i had just started dating my now husband. 8 months into my relationship with my partner, my best friend killed himself.
we used to send each other poetry. we stayed up talking on the phone til the sun came up at least 2 nights a week. i cried in his lap about someoneās heart i broke, and he subtlely hinted at me every day that i was the most amazing person he knew. he told me i was beautiful every time we spoke, but not just physically beautiful. he told me about all my quirks and complexities. he told me to be proud of what made me different. iāve never had another friend like him. i still think about him all the time, especially every january 12th.
rest in peace julian
