[c-bassmeow]

[skyeispeachy-blog]

Ok boomer

[stimman4000]

bro you better shut the fuck up before i look at you one day and feel warm and realize i’ve fallen in love with you bro. im serious quit it dude

[with-practice]

When you can still smell his colon from last night on your pillow.

[beggars-opera]

Everyone reblog this as much as possible over the next two weeks for good luck

[madeofklay]

Amen

[mockwa]

[skyeispeachy-blog]

Acrõbät

[hellenhighwater]

Oh! I almost forgot! I saw a snake today! I haven’t seen a snake all year!

Look at how mad he is!

Hello, noodle! I love you!

[hellenhighwater]

@gallusrostromegalus, thank you for this, the best of all possible news!

bless this garden wiggle and may she have many good little garden shimmies!

[gallusrostromegalus]

IDK if you have any control of the area you saw the wiggle in, but if you can slow down foot and/or bike traffic in the area one of the bigger dangers for baby wiggles is getting crushed while sunning themselves on the asphalt.

I find putting a laminated sign on a traffic cone that says “Slow Down For Ducklings!” gets people’s attention without people who are scared of snakes freaking out.

[hellenhighwater]

Luckily, this wiggle is poking her head out in my driveway, five hundred feet away from the road (which is a dead end) and next door to a nature center. She’s pretty much as traffic-safe as she could be! (I’ll drop a text in the household group chat just to be sure, though, everyone wants all of our little woodland buddies to be safe.)  That is a really good tip though, I’m going to keep that one in mind. 

[gallusrostromegalus]

I have a bit of a migraine so I can’t words so good but there’s an entire type pf psychology where you warn for one thing when you actually don’t want them to do another becuase if you warn them about the actual thing people don’t take it seriously or will be dicks about it.

[eternalgirlscout]

*slams gavel*

worm court is now in session

all writhe

[myboyfriendpetebuttigieg]

Reblog this if you slept with my ex-wife Susan.

Trying to prove a point to my divorce lawyer.

[lifewithoutcosette-deactivated2]

How the fuck was this a children’s television character?!?

[samanthasbarkss]

this always cheers me up.

[mysharona1987]

I don’t know who played Mr Blobby here.

But that guy deserved a Best Actor in a Comedy Emmy Award here.   

He is hysterical. 

[mysharona1987]

Jack still being so suspicious.

[taragrimface]

what is this.

[gammywank]

an anxiety attack

[mad-march-hares-tea-party-deact]

He gone

Bonus:

[slumberblues]

Jack: no fear

Mr Blobby: J̡̼̓̓ͮ͑ͩͭ̇͞A̧̬̙̹̝̻̼ͯ̑͆̉̿C̯̬̯̬̤̻̦̞̎̐̈̏́͗̀̐͘Kͭ҉̹̼̭̹̻͢

Jack: one fear

[paintchipsfromthewall]

if you haven’t seen this.

[skyeispeachy-blog]

Well that just revealed a phobia that I didn’t know I had

[plutosychic]

emoji spell to manifest your desired/ideal body

💓🎀🌸🧜🏻‍♀️👙💆🏼‍♀️🌸🎀💓

Like to charge, reblog to cast

[skyeispeachy-blog]

Shit My Friend Said Pt. 1

“I’m not getting the mullet for the style, I’m getting the mullet for the memories.”

[finehoney]

im so ready to be in a relationship so whenever the universe is ready hmu with a keeper

[finehoney]

i posted this yesterday then today this cute boy held my hand and now he is sending me memes

[librarydvd]

Reblog for love

[maobeedong]

i reblogged this yesterday and my crush kissed me today

[sooyounglovebot-deactivated2018]

@shootingshidae

[solarwoos]

life update: i’m not saying this worked but something happened literally the day after i reblogged this

[manawhaat]

let’s do this

[skyeispeachy-blog]

I’m afraid this might be my last chance

[skyeispeachy-blog]

Signs as Things I’ve Witnessed at my Highschool

Aries: A freshman doing sick tricks during break on a scooter.

Taurus: The girl who drove across campus once because her next period was "too far away" to walk.

gemini: Me and my friend gosiping about our English teacher in math class. our math teacher walks over and listens in before saying "who are you talking about?".

cancer: A v small girl drops her coffee in the hallway and stares sadly at it until nearly every student has left the hallway,and then just walks away.

Leo: *Hits hip against the side of a table and slow motion falls to the ground* "I'VE been AtACkEd!".

libra: A girl walking back and forth between lunch tables to mediate an argument between two of her friends.

Scorpio: A group of students surrounding one guy reading out of Simon's necronomicon.

Virgo: A student fixing a spelling error on a flyer on the bulletin.

Sagittarius: A boy wearing a anime ahegao sweatshirt, and walking into the office.

Capricorn: A girl doing an example math problem on the whiteboard. The teacher saying “it be easier if you did it this way” the girl replying “noted” and continuing to do it her way.

Aquarius: A kid hauling around a full grown suitcase instead of a backpack.

Pisces: My sweet old bus driver genuinely expressing concern about, and asking me to be careful with symbolism, after seeing my wood shop project had an engraved Devils Trap on it.

[yamiibtss]

[skyeispeachy-blog]

Signs as YouTubers I like

Aries: William Osman

Taurus: Mikeala Long

Gemini: Joana Ceidda

cancer: Helloxryan

Leo: Farmer Derek Klingenberg

Virgo: Binging with Babish

libra: Kennedy Walsh

Scorpio: Swaggersouls

Sagittarius: Caroline Kosntnar

Capricorn: Internet Comment Etiquette

Aquarius: Simone Giertz

Pisces: Jim Reno

*disclaimer* by no means am I saying these YouTubers are infact the sign I place them in.

[thats-my-hecking-opinion]

The signs as things my friends have said

Aries: it’s not my fault that I need to go through with every idea I have

Taurus: Where are my slippers?! Where are they? Looks like its gonna be batman pajamas and cowboy boots for this fella.

Gemini: you see, he got tired pretending to be two people, unlike me, I can do this all day

Cancer: if someone doesnt touch me right now I’m probably going to explode

Leo: *after hitting themself violently in the face* i have to do it again to make sure it wasn’t just a fluke.

Virgo: I have to punch myself in the face now, it’s the rules

Libra: I dont know, I just think it’s time for me to start being a hoe again

Scorpio: it’s not my fault you got offended by something I said specifically to offend you

Sagittarius: if I have to see one more flyer for a stupid rodeo in this little hick town I’m going to lose it.

Capricorn: I could probably kill him if he didn’t see me coming

Aquarius: can I look for something under your bed for a second *proceeds to pull out an old hatchet and knife*

Pisces: I know exactly how to not be sad and who to cut out of my life to not be sad but I can’t because I need to help them

[skyeispeachy-blog]

I love that I was the inspiration for half of these things

[kirkspocks]

odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”

[chromalogue]

Oðinn spake:

Bright the sun shone | at the time of Þor’s birth, And bathed his count'nance fair. Loki, wolf-father, | the trickster, the liar, I found on the cold pavement While returning in glory | from a grand hunt For a 3 AM quesadilla.

[baegishjalmur]

@damn-fuck-i-burnt-myself-again

[systlin]

I need this framed on my wall it’s so beautiful. 

[retro-minty]

@theshitpostcalligrapher

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

ay @systlin hmu

[bold-sartorial-statement]

@systlin

My husband complained that this was more Shakespeare than Eddas, and I challenged him to do better.

Solen sken, skönt gyllene

Dagen Tor föddes

På trottoaren, vid Taco Bell

Där låg Loke

—KJN

My translation:

The sun shone, sweet golden

The day of Tor’s birth

On the tarmac, by Taco Bell

There lay Loki

(For poetry reasons, Thor needs the Swedish spelling.)

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

@bold-sartorial-statement

ay yo show ur husband 

[andersonsallpurpose]

@bold-sartorial-statement no but hang on this should be in runes: 

(oops spot the typos)

[svampurinn]

i wanna translate this into icelandic so imma do it 

Sólin skein, björt og gullin við fæðingu Þórs á stígnum við Taco Bell Þar lá Loki

[books-and-candy-ples]

The amount of quality going into these shitposts is amazing

[rembrandtswife]

This is not shitposting, this is transformative work!

[deeranger]

And in Danish because why not:

Solen skinnede, skøn og gylden

På dagen for Tors fødsel

På asfalten ved Taco Bell

Dér lå Loke

“LEV MERE (LIVE MAS)”

*Snorts*

[marvel-lous-things]

When Thor born

He hair shine brite

A very very

Magical site

But then I see

A bab from hell

I pik up loki

From taco bell