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Mike Driver

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finally some relatable content on ig
(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)
Everything I’ve Ever Let Go Of Has Claw Marks On It
Artist: David Altmejd
ask and you shall receive.
Emily, Murph and Siobhan each turned forty and decided they'd look the hottest they've ever been. Truly inspirations to us all.
“be gay do crime! but sex is yucky and crime is wrong!” ass website
Thank god for titties and pasta
pjackk being brought back is incredibly funny but also not a great look on tumblrs part like why can't u do this for the hundreds and hundreds of unfairly banned trans women and black people. lol
crabs are so gentle, they can be so kind. their claws? precise little things, so careful in the sand, so careful with food. they do what they must to live and wave their claws to express their joy to the world for giving so much to them, for giving such kindness to these creatures known as crabs. please be gentle to crabs
i was on. a new sleep medication last night
fuck i’m trying to catch all these flies but they think my vinegar is stupid. i have honey also but that’s for me i can’t give them any of that
management trying to hire and retain employees
it’s sooo funny when rude customers encounter employees who can deny them service for the first time.
i was working at a little cafe where I could deny service over bad behavior, harassment etc. & mask mandates had just ended a week before & already people were being weird about me still wearing mine—an N95, the kind shaped kinda like a duckbill.
so this man walked in, looked at me sooo scathingly, laughed at me, and said “damn. never known a woman to choose…practicality over looks.”
And I just said, “oh. you can go, you’re not getting a drink.” And he said, “what???”
I said, “sir, you just walked in at 6 am & called women impractical and me ugly in one sentence.”
And he was so astonished he didn’t even argue he just turned around and left 💀🙏🏻 it was like he suddenly became self aware
One summer I was running ferry rides across a lake so people could see the waterfalls without walking 6 miles when a guy snapped my bra strap as he was boarding the boat. So i immediately threw him off, he started yelling for my manager, my boss cheerfully informed him that, yeah, she’s the captain of the boat and she can kick off anyone she wants. He goes to storm off, looks expectantly at his girlfriend, and she just goes, “Well, I’M not walking six miles, Michael! I’ll meet you back at the car!” and sits right back down!!!!
The expression on his face when he was told that he couldn’t get on the boat, then immediately told that his girlfriend was ditching him? PRICELESS. he just blinked at her and then stormed off like a child. I gave her a free hat and was like maybe rethink this relationship…….
i once had this fucker come up to order a beer. while i pour it he shows me the wanky fucking chemical structure tattoo on his arm and he’s like “hey. you know what this is” i was like “nah sorry” (never cared abt chemistry in school, plus having to look at a some rando’s pretentious tattoo gives me the douche chills). he decides to respond with “heh. you must not read many books”
i immediately stop pouring his beer. i reply: “heh. you must not want this beer.” thirsty boy immediately starts groveling like a worm “please please no i do want the beer im sorry im sorry” believe me when i say it was one of the most pathetic things ive ever witnessed
gotta love people immediately backpedaling when they realise that there are Consequences To Being Mean
I genuinely believe that part of why it has become so normalized to be openly callous and evil in politics is that customer service culture has trained affluent people that they can treat everyone they consider beneath them however they want and still be treated kindly.
It's also crazy how much more polite people are when they know they are talking to a government employee. Once a week I staff a state "wildlife support" phone line, and very rarely do I ever have a negative interaction, even though MOST of my job is telling people "no we don't perform that service, and there is no agency that does." "no, we can't help that animal, and neither can you, as that is illegal." I tell people "no" up to 30 times per day and I've only had a prickly customer about 3-4 times, and properly yelled at only once. (And if I get yelled at I am allowed to end the conversation.)
Meanwhile, when I worked at PetSmart grooming, I got yelled at MULTIPLE times EVERY day. Over a dog's haircut that I didn't even do.
This comment was left on a post about making the most of the Libby app. "Excessive use of generous lending policies" is the most absurd phrase I've ever seen anyone use to discuss libraries.
(US public libraries context)
It incidentally also betrays a lack of understanding of how licenses and (hopefully) how her own royalties contracts work. The library has to pay an exorbitant fee for the license to allow the patron to borrow things, and for most items on Libby, it’s not unlimited. Last I was involved, most licenses were good for about 7 borrows or a specific length of time like 6 months or 2 years, and then the library would have to purchase a new license. Unless her contract was written to exclude royalties from licensing purchases, in which case she got a raw deal from her publisher but is not the library’s fault, some percentage from those licensing purchases DOES go towards her royalties checks.
Which means that, if her book is popular enough for licenses to get renewed, she effectively is being paid per borrow.
Some patently insane things happening on Christian small town romance bookstagram. “No one is buying my wholesome small town Alaskan romance novels because of library card fraud” is a hell of a cope.
Trad pub authors making tons of money are doing so by selling the adaptation rights to their books. Most trad pub authors aren’t out-earning their advances with book sales. Indie authors making tons of money are publishing multiple books a year and have cultivated large, dedicated audiences willing to buy special editions and merch. Or like. running Kickstarter scams.
If you ever find yourself thinking “people should pay me every time they interact with something I’ve created” you have already lost.
(To the tune of Rasputin): BLEH BLEH DRACULA, KING OF TRANSYLVANIA, HE IS A BAT AND ALSO A MAN
call-out post for my 5 year old cousin:
i just caught her “playing pretend” with her hot wheels and simulating high speed car crashes. not only is this disrespectful to people who have died or been injured in a car crash, but it also likely indicates that she will go on to intentionally cause car crashes in the future. please everyone reach out to her friends, extended family, and possible future employers to let them know she’s an irredeemable monster and is contributing to real world harm!
happy pride month especially to them
everytime i wear an outfit like this i think about this tweet