[dankmemeuniversity]

[fauxastrology]

for someone who loves sleep, i do not sleep enough at all

[slimegargoyle]

oh and since I’m acknowledging how young you all are: never ever ever ever ever ever under any circumstances alter your educational decisions for a boy 

[simon-lemon]

Even if it’s your father.

[witchoil]

Especially if it’s your father.

[bitchycode]

next time i’m opening up to someone is my autopsy

[cptchicken]

Me : I’m in love.

Friend : With whom ?

Me : Women.

[cptchicken]

Me : *sees pretty girl*

Me : *dies a little*

[reeferfox-deactivated20220116]

Felt cute might distance myself from everyone idk

[unknown-bright-lights]

[daree-to-dream]

Every girl has had the experience where a creepy guy asks for our number and we don’t want to give it to him, but we also don’t want to get gutted in a back alley. “Give him a fake number!” I hear you call, okay and then he says “okay let me call you real quick!” Because they are learning. “Give them your number and then block them!” Okay and then they can plug it into something like Spokeo, pay $10 and know everything about you. So what do you do?

First pick a fake name, I use Jessica, then download the Google Voice app, hook it up to your email, pick a number, and set up a fake greeting with your fake name. You can set it to ring your actual phone like a normal call or text but they don’t have real info on you.

Go forth and don’t get murdered, ladies!

[luckys-horseshoe-deactivated202]

Everyone reblog this post.

[mrs-anxiety]

[fuck-kirk]

So I have my dog trained to sit when she wants pet (she used to be very wild and jumpy when we first got her, it’s been a long road) so now when she wants attention she just sits very still and stares VERY intently at you (she’s extremely non verbal and hardly makes sound in general)

So, today I let her out and didn’t realize the fence gate was wide open, and she just shoots right out at this older man and a small girl (bc she just LOVES PEOPLE. A lot) The girl kinda shrieks and the man pulls her behind him (which I get it, my dogs small but she’s still part Pitt, and she was running full throttle at them) and all of a sudden my dog just pulls up completely, full stop, and plants her ass on the ground in front of them, staring and wagging her tail.

And they just stand there, staring at each other. She’s like, vibrating with energy, waiting for pets, and these people are like “wtf” so I run up and explain and the old guy was just so thrilled honestly. The little girl starts petting her and the old dude was gushing about how trained and well behaved she is (I mean, ignoring the fact that she shot out of the gate LMAO) but like, that just made me so happy. I’ve put so much time and effort into training her and making her feel safe and comfortable after he (horrifying) past and I’m just so so proud of her.

TLDR; my dog is a good gorl and I luv her

[fuck-kirk]

This is the good girl in question

[queerpyratess]

i went on photography adventures today and

as it should be

[harry-crane]

Who wants to join my gang we’re gonna go to theme parks and boardwalks but never before sundown.

Requirements:

Must be gay

Must have no sense of fashion

Must be alarmingly interested in vampires

[freewaveanii]

black kids deserve a coming of a age teenage love movie where violence or drugs aren’t the plot

[shakugan-archive]

[bitchycode]

roses are red, i’m going to bed

[felitomkinson]

#violets are blue #damn bitch me too

[manishdayall-archive-deactivate]