dude.
i knew a surgeon and he once told me “nobodys insides look like how the textbooks say they will. you never know what you’re going to find in there once you open them up” and that was easily the most ominous thing anyone’s ever said to me

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@slendyshy
dude.
i knew a surgeon and he once told me “nobodys insides look like how the textbooks say they will. you never know what you’re going to find in there once you open them up” and that was easily the most ominous thing anyone’s ever said to me
I wonder a fairy’s ability to steal names can be counteracted with a “who’s on first” joke
“May I have your name, mortal?”
“What”
“I said, may I have your name?”
“What”
“What is your name?”
“Yes”
“Your name is yes?”
“No, What’s my name”
“THAT’S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW”
I don’t know, but I love the headcannon of it
just give em your gamertag.
Cool idea, but idk…
I feel like that could still have *some* weight to it
“Ok, can I have your friends name?”
“Yes.”
“Ok, what’s his name?”
“Who.”
“Your best friend.”
“Yes.”
“Is your best friend’s name yes too?”
“No.”
“Then what is it?”
“Who.”
“Your best friend?”
“Yes.”
“What’s your best friend’s name?”
“No.”
“Who?”
“That’s it.”
“WHO’S YOUR BEST FRIEND??”
“Yes.”
“AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!”
“Well what’s your brother’s name?”
“Why”
“I JUST THOUGHT I’D ASK!”
“Well I just thought I’d tell ya”
Ok… this is absolutely wild (x)
And the rest:
Wells Fargo artificially inflated diversity
Wells Fargo modern day slavery
Wells Fargo slave trade historically
Account fraud scandal
Wrongful foreclosure and sale of disabled veterans house which the vet died
Evil horrible
Wells Fargo is being sued for discrimination by its Black customers. Plaintiffs are seeking $5 million in damages
The Department of Justice today filed the second largest fair lending settlement in the department’s history to resolve allegations th
painting a raccoon under a red light
[id: a screenshot of a tweet by 😷 hugo reinert @metaleptic. tweet reads "new office neighbor has a very sensible office door policy," followed by a photograph of a printed sign taped to a door. sign reads:
Dear visitor:
In order to protect my concentration and sanity I have decided to implement a door policy:
Door open: very welcome to knock and come in, yes I would love to have a chat!
Door closed: Please do not knock at my door or come in unless you have urgent business.* I am extremely easily distracted and I will talk to you until the end of time instead of writing my dissertation.
Never: come in without knocking.
*List of things that are urgent business:
- the building or someone is on fire
- you're bringing me coffee
- revolution
- there is a dog
end id]
Why do they play this so fast live
there’s still idiots in my inbox asking if m this is real— yes it is.
Me at 3 am, seeing someone else awake at that hour: Why is this bitch not sleeping????
computers are gay because you're always downing loads
lots of gay people on this website it seems
ducktales crew: lol okay so then we wanna introduce our silicon valley villain, we’re gonna call him mark zuckerbird and-
disney legal team waking up in a cold sweat: someone’s gonna try to insult a billionaire
Same energy
Unhinged cartoon creator: “what if we just hit this beehive with this cool stick I found?”
I think it would be more apt to say “Oh wow that’s a cool beehive! I’m going to go craft the PERFECT STICK to hit it with!”
every time I hear someone say “we should just get rid of physical shops and have everything online” I get a bit angry because
a) physical shops are important for those who don’t have access to a computer/ internet/ ect
b) those “weird” and “niche” shops I love so much don’t have the same vibe online, they turn into just another website
c) I hate paying for shipping
im guessing there’s been a sudden uptick in notes on this post hasnt there
if this is canada dry i’m not sure i can handle canada wet !
I do not support all women! Some of y'all actively hold up the oppressive and violent structures that kill other women!
Coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down, because I want it all
It was only a fish
IT WAS ONLY A FISH
master of chilling with a sloppy style