i am alive! alive! alive!

[header: a cat tucked into a bed as though sleeping] [icon: a Minecraft bucket of axolotl on the genderfluid pride flag, made by @suburbanscreamo] Spark // all pronouns // tme // 20s poetry in #sparkpoetry buy my chapbook here

[slightlyunofficial]

Alright everypony you know the drill

Homeless disabled trans girl @2amelia-2bedelia needs money but this time it’s actually not all that much! Yay! We even have a head start again this time. Deadline is tomorrow Sunday 10 May 2026, places to throw money are below:

CA: $spaarkdust or $SamMagoski

Vmo: @/sparkdust

GFM link here:

Donate to Amelia's Survival and Well-being, organized by Ezra Elias Vivas

Hi! I'm raising a survival fund for my dear friend Amelia. She lov… Ezra Elias Vivas needs your support for Donate to Amelia's Survi

$75/$235

[scribefindegil]

I was in a long-term relationship that fell apart partially because I was ace and my partner was very much not, and every time we looked for relationship help we got told that I was the problem. Not just that a significant mismatch in sexual desire could be a problem in a relationship, but that it was My Fault, Specifically, for not being willing to suck it up and have a bunch of sex I didn't want. To my ex's credit, he cared about consent much more than any of the professionals we talked to and refused to pressure me even when my (lesbian, billed as progressive and pro-LGBT) therapist was actively telling him to.

But it meant that we had absolutely no help or support when we were trying to work on the relationship in ways that *did* value my autonomy. There's basically no advice for people who want to try to make a relationship where there's a big desire gap work that isn't "well you should just have sex anyway" or "just break up lol". And that sucks!

Sometimes breaking up is necessary, and that's what ended up happening with us because there were other reasons we worked better as friends, but there *should* be better frameworks for discussing what people want and need that don't automatically assume that one partner's feelings are automatically more important or valuable than the other's.

[geese-in-flight]

I was dating someone who wanted to be accommodating and work with me to figure things out but lacked the EQ to do so in any effective way. It was my first relationship and I was still figuring out what being ace meant for me. It’s been eight or nine years, but I still remember very clearly the moment I realized we’d been approaching the entire discussion as if my orientation was the problem to be solved, and that it would be equally as valid to say that hers was.

She was significantly less impressed with this revelation than I was, but I tried to hold on to it ever since (although obviously the real problem wasn’t either one of us, but the mismatch and the lack of tools to deal with it). I think it’s super important to remember that we aren’t the ones in the wrong while our theoretical partners are the ones in the right. I was surprised by how much I’d internalized the assumption and I don’t think I’m the only one.

[ineffectualdemon]

The other frustrating aspect of this is allo relationships will often have periods of time where libido does not match (I'm not derailing and this will swing back to asexual people)

Just after giving birth, during a family crisis, during a mental health episode, during health problems, during stressful periods at work

There are a lot of times when one person is horned up and raring to go and the other has no interest

And the solution often presented is that the person who is going through something should just put out because they are the problem instead of like...finding ways to engage in non sexual intimacy to reaffirm closeness

An asexual person is going to get 10x the amount of pressure and blame put on them and no advice on how non-sexual intimacy can help their relationships and if they get that at all it will only be to sell it as a bridge to sex they don't want.

I really hate the selling of intimacy as only equaling or facilitating sex. Intimacy comes in many forms and should be explored more by every couple as a non sexual act. And it the given importance it deserves. In fact I would argue if we as a society put more value on non sexual intimacy more relationships would be happier and healthier

And asexual people would stop getting shit for being themselves.

[scribefindegil]

Yeah, exactly! There are many different forms of intimacy, physical and emotional, and we need to stop viewing non-sexual forms of intimacy as inherently lesser.

And also you're right that while this post is specifically about the asexual experience, these problems affect everyone; desire gaps, whether temporary/circumstantial or ongoing, affect many if not most long-term relationships. And the solution needs to reaffirm bodily autonomy and compassion for everyone, not just carve out a specific exception for ace people. Too frequently I see people and institutions that, even when they're attempting to be affirming, essentially say "Well this is what a committed relationship Needs To Look Like . . . unless you already id as ace I guess" instead of allowing their general idea of what relationships can look like to expand and become less prescriptive.

No one should be pressured into sex they don't want. This should be a basic and non-negotiable tenet of feminism. But it goes out the window as soon as it's in the context of a committed relationship that isn't otherwise abusive.

[kewlb0t]

this always makes it kinda worth it in the end

[lakemojave]

People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person

[lakemojave]

Tumblr users will read a post complaining about normalized misogyny and hyperfocus on your claim that it's ok to dislike dogs

[princessdraconic]

count your blessings; there are far more distressing fluids that could be pooling between your feet right now

[tamamoland-with-a-gun]

b-but my juice box,,,

[decompose1]

hello tumblr fandomite. you are being faced with a nonbinary character. your challenge is to not immediately assume they are TME or make their presentation exclusively "thin with no secondary sex characteristics at all"

[foxgirlmindcrank]

I give it like 6 months until the steampunk jokes stop being ironic

[foxgirlmindcrank]

You'll realize just how marvelous a contraption can be

[395nm]

The second I catch a whiff of power I am so going to ban non-native grass lawns.

… wait, I do have power! Okay students, 10% extra credit if you ruin your dad’s lawn. And take pictures!

[json-derulo]

earlier I was coming back up from skating and one of the starstruck little kids from across the hall asked me, “how are you allowed to drive on the inside?” (referring to the fact that I carefully skate in the hallway and elevator, because swapping shoes on and off for the one-block commute to and from the park is a massive pain in the ass), and I swear to god the dialogue options that flashed up on my heads-up display were

[] Nothing in the lease explicitly says I can’t, and all uncodified rules are merely suggestions

[] I’m probably not, but the only people in this building who are fast enough to actually stop me are the maintenance guys who are all charmed by my kind green eyes and adorable dog

[x] I ate all my vegetables and did my homework so my mom said I’m allowed to do whatever I want

[mtf-the-gathering]

getting banned over a glitched report that was never actually filed, only to be unbanned out if nowhere 3 months later and then immediately banned again within a matter of hours, is honestly the most pjackk thing to ever happen to someone on this site

[itsjunetime]

clowngirl getting an orchiectomy and the surgeon just keeps removing ball after ball after ball after ball after

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

clown nurse standing by solemnly adding each successive ball to the ones she's already juggling

[terryxsi]

Overheard a 13 yr old explaining how jax was a trans lesbian to his dad at amc today

[wheelie-sick]

sometimes people experiencing psychosis and/or mania will come up to you on the street and talk in confusing or upsetting ways. your job is to either have a regular human-to-human conversation with that person or politely leave. your job is not to call 911. do not call 911. you might kill that person if you call 911.

[wheelie-sick]

I don't even have the energy to screenshot and respond to your tags- what the actual fuck is wrong with you? "the cops are scared and rightfully so" "mental health calls are the scariest for cops" OH so this isn't about the safety of psychotic & manic people this is about piggy feelings?

and no, actually, this is not USA specific and no, actually, people from other countries should not ignore this post. police violence and sanism weren't invented in the US and they are certainly not unique to here. if you (or anyone) thinks that this bullshit doesn't happen elsewhere then you are not listening.

[nat-20s]

extremely funny to me that Kermit the Frog is the only main overlap character between Sesame Street and The Muppets. imagine your day job is hanging out in a community of lovely people that genuinely just want to help kids learn and care about everyone so so much and then your night job is the reason that you have to stay up to date on your rabies AND tetanus vaccine

[nat-20s]

at noon the giant you're hanging out with is Big Bird! a wonderful fellow who likes reading stories and singing and telling fun facts! at midnight there's a giant named Sweetums who makes you feel like you're being hunted for sport

[nat-20s]

Ernie, trying to maybe come out to Kermit: well you know Kermit, me and Bert-

Bert: Bert and I

Ernie: Bert and I, we've been best friends forever, but we're also something else too!

Kermit, who every goddamn night has to tell Beaker and Bunsen to keep it professional, deal with Statler and Waldorf's bullshit, AND update his organizational chart on Dr. Teeth and the Electric Polycule: that's really great to hear fellas, happy for you two! :)

[stellacartography]

Grover, alarmed at having spilled some finger paint on Kermit's flipper: I am so sorry, Kermit. Please forgive me.

Kermit, who deals with a multitude of bodily fluids on his person and all over the theatre every evening, who is unintentionally trampled by large monsters as they exit the stage, and quite intentionally has his little froggy bones launched into a wall most nights by Miss Piggy: It's ok, Grover. I'm a frog. I love baths.

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

On Sesame Street: Oh, no, Telly is watching too much television!

The Muppet Show Theater, that night: Gonzo attempts to explain his latest fetish at length.

[jay-rayart]

FLY is a story about a boy who gets a second chance. Help his story take flight June 9th 11am EST on Kickstarter. Thank you for being the wind beneath my wings I hope this story lifts the world to a brighter place.

Coming soon: FLY : A Magical Black Boy Series - Pilot Animatic

A coming of age story about Black kids who finally have power to fight back against systems designed against them.

[tamamoland-with-a-gun]

i still remember watching the video of tamir rice being shot by the cops before they had even stopped the car and gotten out and how they threatened his mother and tackled and cuffed his 14 year old sister when they tried to approach while he was left bleeding out on the ground for several minutes

[mxrderscenes]

writing is so funny because i could write nonstop for 9hrs and then hit a block where im like "how do i transition between this moment and the next?" and then i just dont touch it for 6 months

[galadrieljones]

Serious advice tho if this happens, it's likely because you already wrote past the end of the scene and wandered too far from the more logical transition point, and you should go back to the last time the writing felt "unforced" and cut everything after.

You can also just skip the transition. Really good writing can span years in a single sentence, like you can just authoritatively state fact and your reader will go with it.

[xalphafox]

This is GOLD! You just saved me like thousands of therapy costs lmao

[headspace-hotel]

When I was writing my fic last few months the strategy I used was "just skip all the scenes I don't want to write" and it worked great in my opinion

[thewantingmind]

Hi, I’m a cis woman. This is Puppet’s PayPal and it loves you. Help it live.

Pay Jezebel Shular using PayPal.Me

Go to paypal.me/SapphicInSatin and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it's easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries.

[thewantingmind]

Tumblr is a place to express yourself, discover yourself, and bond over the stuff you love. It's where your interests connect you with your