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Any prns | Older than my years | Multifandom

[p3ndragn]

If she was in charge of the backrooms research team then there would be no fucking about. She would already have the answers, none of this ‘I don’t know’ business. Ryland Grace would be hazmat suited up and sent in there ASAP.

[nikoco11]

day and night :} boothill for my friend meli

[slkcie]

web browsers so slow I've been snapping my finger at the screen and whispering "c'mon fucking idiot, what did they code you for"

[riverlarking]

whenever i reblog a serious feminist post in the middle of silly things

[nikoco11]

something i have harbored

[wolfythewitch]

Prev | Part 5

[ddeck]

there's like a thousand ways for a shower to work and you wouldn't even imagine half of them until you have to take a shower at a new place

[ceruleanheaven]

honestly given my parents whole [gestures vaguely] i am actually incredibly well adjusted

[sweatermuppet]

very skilled at having a headache

[redstonedust]

by default i dont understand people with boobs who argue against freeing the nipple and think top nudity is shameful. but ESPECIALLY i dont understand it when you live somewhere where temperatures can exceed like 80F. youre telling me you havent ever wished it was socially acceptable to walk downtown with your tits out when its hot outside. youre just okay with having to wear shirts in all weather and this doesnt bother you. i simply do not believe you............

[m4rms]

Eat you whole

[themetalhiro]

go my qiflings

[meburgers]

agender Grace. clap if you agree.

[slkcie]

I haven't posted pictures yet I think

[gingik]

[grungekitty-77]

Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.

It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.

Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.

Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.

Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)

Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!

You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!

If you want it in a simple phrase:

You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.

[grungekitty-77]

Fun fact, that was literally what inspired me to make this post!

[dovahbeat]

Adding my 2 cents worth that I learned from my time in DBT.

Guilt and shame are NOT the same emotion!

Theyre very similar, but theres a key difference. Guilt comes from an internal source and shame external.

What do I mean? Well, when you feel guilt, its because you've betrayed your own morals. Youve done something you view as bad, and you feel guilty for defying your own moral code.

Shame, however, is external and comes from our individual societies, and has nothing to do with moral codes (in the way guilt does). Shame comes from how OTHERS perceive you. You go to school, and wet yourself, you feel shame because the other kids point and laugh, they think less of you now. You may know it was an accident, and accidents happen, and thats okay! But because other people now think less of you for it, you feel bad.

Not taking away the points of OP, i still agree, just think it might be useful to distinguish between the two emotions because they are not the same.

[ivytea]

requiem for vanished birdsong