alien dream girl @slugandjiggers - Tumblr Blog

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A pick-n-mix nightmare, really. Thoughts and musings from the upside down and inside out. Click to read INKLOAD, by L. Barling, a Substack

lichpire

the more i think about mcu spider-man the more i don’t like mcu spider-man

like mcu twink peter will never have the depth of our friendly neighborhood spider-man. literally any time they try and make spider-man super cool with access to a ton of sick tech and everything i start to really lose interest. the appeal of spider-man to me is that he’s like just some guy who happens to have super powers. like you could just hang out with this dude. the “bigger” they make him the more he loses that.

actually i’m gonna elaborate on this further because spider-verse did this but they did it well and with purpose.

the peter from miles’ dimension was super over the top, kinda larger than life. as pointed out by peter b. several times. however unlike other times they’ve done this it wasn’t just to try and make spider-man look cool, it was all a part of miles’ narrative. miles was given huge shoes to fill and they used this as a tool to portray how small miles felt compared to peter.

but the difference between miles and mcu peter is that miles didn’t need any of that to become the spider-man he is today. one of his main role models in the film is peter b. who’s broke and off his game, but still manages to do amazing things.

that’s the appeal of spider-man. is that anyone can make a difference, no matter where you’re at in your life you can still be incredible.

oceansalliteration

Good comment via the person I reblogged from.

traincat

I think it’s interesting that the scene from the end of The Amazing Spider-Man with the eggs is being put forward as the pinnacle of Spider-Man cinema – and I agree, for the record – because I don’t think people know how hard that scene got dragged when Homecoming was released. I’m fairly sure one of Homecoming’s six screenwriters said something negative about it, although I can’t currently find the article where I saw it, but if you check out this review of Spider-Man Homecoming you’ll see something along the same lines: “No one wants to watch May chide Peter for forgetting the eggs when there’s way more interesting superhero stuff to get to.”

Right, except I do, because the eggs in The Amazing Spider-Man were always there to remind the audience that Peter’s great responsibility exists outside of his identity as Spider-Man as well as within it – he has a responsibility to his aunt! Even over something as simple as bringing home the eggs he’d previously forgotten to get! It’s meaningful because it shows us that responsibility is a multi-layered, multifaceted aspect of both Peter Parker and Spider-Man and something that is baked into the character, not just the costume. That he shows up beaten to hell, having played a large part in keeping New York from becoming lizard people, with his girlfriend’s father’s blood probably still on him, and that he pulls the world’s most busted package of like 100% broken eggs out of his backpack because he promised his aunt he would pick up eggs and that she embraces him is so important! And it got mercilessly dragged as not being exciting or cool enough! Not being enough of a superhero scene! TASM’s Aunt May of the absolutely incredible “You’re my boy and I won’t hurt you” scene got called dowdy and not fun and pathetic because she was “just waiting at home for the eggs”! And it drove me absolutely crazy! Justice for Peter treating May like she’s his mom and the most important person in the world to him and knowing he has a responsibility to her! Justice for the little humanizing elements that make Spider-Man ultimately a relatable story! Justice for the eggs scene!

astraldreadnought-deactivated20

One of the larger than life things that MCU Spider-Man badly remade is Peter’s identity getting revealed.

This was one of the best scenes in the movie’s franchise history:

Peter passes out after stopping the train and saving everyone in it, and gets carried by the passengers inside.

The juxtaposition of the superhero being saved by the people he almost died to help and repaying his kindness with a promise that his secret is safe. That’s the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man the MCU could never conceive.

everybidenjusthavegoodtime

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

hotcommunist-deactivated2019032

invasive species encroach on lesbian territory

dreaming-shark

This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.

ailithnight

A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.

Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.

chequerootlurks

As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.

Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.

This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.

A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.

Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.

One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.

Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.

Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.

Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.

Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.

thatdisasterauthor

As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.

swindle94

now how in the FUCK am i supposed to leave tumblr when a god tier post like THIS is just is just waiting for me daily?!?!?!

fromchaostocosmos

question where does the “art student” or “DIYer” “crafter” or “soap maker” or “miniaturist“ etc. who has ventured into the store for supplies fall into the ecosystem/what is their impact of said ecosystem?

terulakimban

Most of the above are native to craft and hobby stores (art students, historically, are native to museums, but having been introduced to hobby stores, have found a niche for themselves and thrived), but all can be seen in hardware stores on occasion due to territorial overlap. They are generally low-impact, as they tend to stick to specific small areas and primarily utilize different resources. While a large group of any of them can be disruptive (art students, in particular, are known to travel in packs), in general, they are more likely to have territorial disputes with one another than with the local fauna.

A point of clarity -“crafter” is a bit misleading; while it conjures a specific image, much like ‘fish’ or ‘reptile’ it actually covers a broad array of wildly disparate species, and in general, more descriptive nomenclature is preferred. Fiber artists in particular are a genus to watch out for, particularly in groups. Beware a roving pack of domesticated quilters. They fear nothing, will go anywhere, and due to their social nature, will often seek interaction from other species that thrive best in solitude. They are quite friendly, and will happily adopt members of other species; the concern is that their adoptees do not always wish to be adopted.

midrashic

#in search of taxonomic precision and peaceful coexistence (via welkinalauda)

kriladoodles

I do wonder how lesbian/bisexual lumberjack-mimickry fits into this

honeylight-abroad

Ahhhhhhh! I love this so much

funereal-disease

Thesis: the rise of fanwank and anti culture correlates directly with diminished understanding of what “romantic”, in a literary sense, actually means.

It doesn’t mean “this is ideal or healthy or even realistic”. It means “this is beautiful, this is tragic, this is grotesque, this stirs emotion”, even if it’s not, as @starryroom puts it, something you would be comfortable seeing play out in front of you at Taco Bell. It’s about grandiosity and mythology and heroism writ large. It’s about playing with the id, as beautiful and terrible as it can be.

augustdementhe

LET LOVE AND LUST BE MONSTROUS.

celciusdiscourse

i feel like Guillermo del Toro ghostwrote that

xtine-daae

“I didn’t say I liked it. I said it fascinated me. There is a great difference.”

- Oscar Wilde

neenarchive

lesbians respond to male characters in one of seven ways:

complete indifference (majority go here)

that's my dad

that's my son

that's my brother my favourite dude my special guy (reserved for canonically gay/bi/trans men only)

that's my disgusting little pet hamster

im going to steal his gender

burning hatred

neenarchive

@syn-odics no this is good

neenarchive

@your-local-bambi-lesbian you know wot yea it gets its own category

tboydivision-deactivated2022091

men be like: oh no,, my ego, my poor ego! oh woman, could you spare a stroke? stroke my ego just once? oh, you refuse? that’s fine, i don’t mind. i diagnose you with whore

elizabitchtaylor-deactivated202

Stop ironically stanning Dolly Parton and start acknowledging her for the genius that she is

unwastelandunbaby

her nonprofit the imagination library sends out monthly books, completely free of charge, to any child that wants it. anyone who knows anything about reading education will tell you that simply putting books into children’s homes is the best way to promote literacy. they even have braille and audio options!

we love dolly

athena-noctua-bubo

As a Children’s Librarian I can testify that kids who grow up w/ books, see people reading, and have access to books grow up to be readers.

littlefeatherr

Dolly Parton also is a musical and songwriting genius. She's written over 3,000 songs and plays seven instruments.

She's supported charities benefiting Appalachia and shut down racism and misogyny for decades. She's incredibly brave.

Everyone needs to put some respect on her name.

artbytesslyn

She also married a regular joe and never had kids but raised her siblings as if they were her children to give them the best lives possible. She also has the Dollywood Foundation, which basically created its own economy in a previously poor region, she works to conserve wildlife species like the bald eagle, she’s donated more than 100 million free books, she helped kickstart a cancer hospital and does benefit concerts literally constantly.

Anyone ironically stanning this woman, she really deserves your unabashed love and support. The world is better with her on it.

taylortut

y’all know that john mulaney quote “the things crazy people say mean nothing to them but everything to me?”

every time i hear that quote, i think about how i got this light-up pen

taylortut

i got this pen four years ago when i was working as a barista at starbucks. I was on the registers and taking the order of this woman, who ordered a nonfat latte, because she was “watching her weight”

so this guy behind her, whom no one was talking to, for some fucking reason says “wathing your weight? but what about the wait for your watch?“ (which is a completely unhinged response. like just complete Mad Hatter nonsense)

anyway this lady gets really uncomfortable and of the five people (me, him, her, the other checker, and the customer at the other register) who were now sucked into the uncomfortable silence, i decided that i should alleviate the tension by saying “you can’t wait for a watch; you don’t have the time”

and then he said “oh, quick girl!”, gave me that pen, got out of line, and left without ordering anything

patron-saint-of-smart-asses-dea

You pleased a mad fae trickster

valtsv

me continuing to make terrible posts about my extremely niche interests instead of anything people actually followed me for:

luftraptor

Note: this is not ferret abuse, they really do enjoy being carried like sacks of potatos.

mrs-faggot

As a ferret owner I can confirm that my three ferrets do not give a single fuck about being held like that. A ferret WILL let you know if it doesn’t like how you’re holding it. But they like being turned into potato sacks for some reason.

wolverinequeen

Yeah ferrets get super limp sometimes when you hold them, plus they have a flexible spine and ribs, it doesn’t bother them a bit. They are just loose sacks of meat and kleptomania.

elodieunderglass

Me continuing to make my extremely niche posts while gesturing with a consenting ferret

goalofthecentury

old town road is now legally a gay anthem

punkjabi

inkload

To the girl with the sad smile on the train yesterday:

do not let the world make you think that you need to be hard all of the time. you are allowed to be soft and to bend when you want to. do not burn out your strength on endeavors that want you to fail.

To the girl with the pink back pack who flashed a grin at that little boy:

spreading joy can only ever increase your own joy. never let anyone tell you that you are not enough; your sharing of happiness in this modern world is worth more than anything.

To the boys holding hands in the park feeding ducks:

do not let the grumbling of your fathers make you feel ashamed and awkward. you will learn as you grow that those who proclaim to know the best for you in spite of what you want rarely ever do.

To the boy who skinned his knee on the sidewalk:

life can be difficult, but it is the lows that make the highs. find the joy in even the lows and you will never be suffocated by them. you can only continue to improve.

To the group of girls taking photos at the beach:

never let anyone make you feel like you are not beautiful. you are free to celebrate your love of yourself and by doing so only inspire others to do the same.

To the fat girl who only orders salad when she dines with her friends:

You are enough. You are worthy. You are beautiful and deserving of love. The journey is hard and sometimes you’ll want to give up, but know that by loving yourself, only good things will come back to you. Be friends with yourself first; wake up and know that today, and every day, will be your day.

To the young people:

The time will come when you will not be dictated to by those whose ideals and ideas are out of date and out of time. They fear you, so they seek to control you. Learn all that you can, and take comfort in the fact that you will revolutionise the world.

To everyone:

Now is not forever. Times will change, and those with power now will lose it. Continue to fight, and never give up. It is not a losing battle, it is a righteous crusade. Life is fleeting; remember to make the most of it.

lmb || post-it notes at midnight

inkload

A conversation between Eve and Lilith

The bible calls it sin but we call it Victory.

Even paradise can be a prison.

I felt hunger, and thirst.

He thought me weak.

I was to be consumed.

I was punished.

I clothed myself and hid from his gaze.

I fought.

I questioned.

I ran.

I was not equal.

I was a slave.

inkload

Jarpeth’s essay for Intro to Terra and Humanity

Humans are a rather incredible species.

Travel hardy, useful, virtually indestructible- yet rarely aggressive. They threw themselves out into the void with barely any regard for their own lives, without care if they would succeed- they did it because they could, and they were curious and they wanted to.

Scientifically brilliant, they can be terrifying when experimenting- they call themselves ‘Doc Brown’ and laugh when things blow up in their faces. They invented FTL travel in less than 100 galactic years- far faster than any race before them.

They came in droves, eager to meet the rest of us, join us, adventure with us. It’s all about adventure with the humans.

Generally a peaceful race, their history is littered with wars and battles amongst their own kind, until a shaky peace formed amongst the devastation and they turned their gaze outwards. To the stars.

They didn’t bring guns, nor weapons of any sort. They disarmed with simple smiles, mischievous looks and breathtaking, illuminating discoveries.

They are brilliantly, wonderfully, utterly mad.

But you shouldn’t ever mistake them as an easy target. Some races tried, once. Now all that remains of them is ash.

They appeared in the human home system, ready to subjugate the vermin ‘Terrans’. They expected no resistance, and had prepared ships to transport their spoils of war home. Their first mistake was believing the humans to be defenceless. Just because they had not brought weapons to our meeting, did not mean they did not have them. Armies of thousands, hundreds of thousands gathered on Earth, making the invaders pay in blood for the offences they committed and every step of ground they took. The humans did not stop, did not give in, and gave no mercy they did not care to give. And then the fleets appeared.

There are billions of humans, after all.

One rose from the depths of the oceans, thousands of ships rising from the inky dark, bringing cold death from below. Missiles launched into the mass of invaders, the boom-shake of their explosions rousing cheers from the humans.

The other came from the stars, surrounding the armada of the invaders. The gleaming black hulls hung heavy in the sky, menacing, passing judgement.

And it rained holy fire.

In the end, there was nothing but silence, but the entire universe heard the whispered message.

We will not retreat.

We will not submit.

And we will raze you to the ground if you try us again.