Tea and World Domination @teaandworlddomination - Tumblr Blog

my dog came and got me while I was getting ready for work this morning, and she was signaling that it was Very Urgent. I followed her downstairs thinking something was wrong with my senior dog or my partner but the minute my foot hit the bottom step my partner loudly asked "Did she come get you, too?"

"She did, what's wrong?"

"She wants you to look at the frog."

"...The frog?"

"Yeah. The frog."

"There's a frog?"

"on the window, yeah"

so she was standing in the corner staring at me VERY expectantly and somewhat impatiently, so I walked over and she immediately turned her attention back to the window and sure enough. very high up. and very small. there was a frog.

keep in mind that bigfoot himself could be in the yard outside and this dog Would Not Care. but god forbid a frog catches a vibe on the window I guess. anyway. glad my dog deemed this worthy of my attention

giantkillerjack

Very smart doggo knew that OP would get the word out to the public about frog. Now thousands more people know about frog. Objectively an incredibly successful Very Urgent Alert. What a good girl!!

nostalgicfun

"thousands of people you say?"

charlesoberonn

It wasn't there 😔

slushyseals

I'm not sure if "defect" is the right word. It is living it's life as a pillow. That's like, the dream.

Edit: After a little digging I believe that this species of starfish has a mutation that sometimes occurs, here's a different photo and "biscuit starfish" individual:

goodfriendo

raviolis

enlightened-moth

couldn't stop thinking about this lil granny square so I crocheted him:

tricktster

So like when we bought the new house, right after closing my attorney gave me this checklist of things to do right away, like rekey the locks, check the carbon monoxide and fire alarms, and replace all the toilet seats.

This last one struck us as very funny because, while the toilet seat one is a reasonable reminder for those richie riches out there with new toilet seat money and a fear of lingering butt germs, we do not have that option, because our 125 year old house came equipped with a toilet so technologically advanced that we have a separate toilet adjacent wall panel to control all the options.

This toilet has features I have never even seen before, much less experienced. When you sit down on it, it makes a comforting little beep, as if to say “hello friend, i’ve missed you!” It then begins to run just the tiniest bit of water to ensure that the built in bidet with full independent control over direction, intensity, and temperature will be prepared whether you opt for cold, lukewarm, or hot. Then, there is the air dry button, with its own temperature and intensity controls. It will literally both wash and dry your butt, and you will be in the utmost comfort while doing so. There is an anti-odor button, and I cannot fathom what technology THAT one deploys. There is still more.

We never would have bought this on our own, but we have quickly come to trust and love the Poopstation-9000.

tricktster

I’ll note that when we moved in we immediately discovered that the prior owner had left us toilet paper, moisturizing “flushable” wet wipes, and a toilet brush next to his recently abdicated throne. It was both extremely nice of him and an objectively wild thing for him to concern himself with.

Like, it’s very kind to leave a roll of toilet paper behind. He left six, neatly arranged so we couldn’t miss them. He had it alllllll set up for us. This dude had a PASSION, and he wanted to recruit us to the cause.

I want you all to know that I have never pressed “Auto” because I am scared that it will be his personalized, meticulously calibrated setting and it will blast my butthole directly into the stratosphere.

tricktster

Oh my god. I just looked it up. I had a sense that it was expensive but I had to know. I’m going to throw up.

This is an $899 toilet seat.

This toilet seat cost more than our brand new washing machine.

This toilet seat costs more than many weeklong cruises.

This house has no AC, a furnace that can charitably be described as an antique with four thermostats inexplicably installed to control it given that there’s only one zone, baseboard heating, a crack between the foundation blocks that you can very literally see the backyard through, 1970s wood paneling on the entire second floor with the ugliest (very stained) bright red polyester carpet you’ve ever seen, 1000 outlets so loose that you can’t plug anything into them, 14 spiders per room, and an $899 toilet seat.

I need to sit down.

…Thankfully, I have a spot.

headspace-hotel

Someone had his priorities straight.

Book Alert!

My best friend's first novel is available for pre-order at Amazon.

#books #author #portal #fantasy

kazzsbrekker

- jeanette winterson, lighthousekeeping

crimsonxe

Just watched The Old Guard 2 so spoilers:

I s2fg Netflix you better give them a 3rd movie cause I NEED Andy and Quynh together. Walking fight-fight-kiss-flirt/joke gayngst.

i-am-a-fish

I hope you get 100 dollars. I want everyone reading this to get 100 dollars

aletheyass

"empowering women by sending katy perry to space for 2 minutes" shut the fuck up. samantha cristoforetti was the first female commander of the international space station and she became an astronaut because of star trek. and there is a real chance she is a kirk/spock shipper

prismatic-bell

Let's try Christa McAuliffe.

McAuliffe did not survive to leave the atmosphere. She died in the Challenger explosion.

But she was a schoolteacher. An average, everyday woman who didn't buy her way aboard the space shuttle, but earned it. She planned to teach the first two school lessons from space. Millions of schoolchildren watched the launch live. My sister was one of them. If "where were you when Kennedy was shot" is the question for Boomers, and "where were you when you got the news on 9/11" is the question for Millennials, "where were you when Challenger exploded" is the question for Gen X.

McAuliffe was so beloved that her death basically ended the space craze in media at the time. I did a backward media trace of her death to see if it lined up with entertainment media reactions to 9/11, and the answer was: yes. Within two years of Challenger--I gave that much lead time for movies already in production when Challenger launched--space was gone from cartoons and movies. Basically nothing space went into production after her death, several space-themed shows were canceled, and the whole industry took a hard swerve into the buddy-cop genre.

Christa McAuliffe inspired a generation, and a nation grieved her when she was gone. For 73 seconds, she almost touched the stars, and America loved her for it.

FUCK miss yellowface rich girl.

Her name was Christa McAuliffe, and she empowered girls and women everywhere to dream that the ordinary could become extraordinary, too.

sexy-people-contests-2026

Tumblr Sexywoman Contest 2025 Final Round

Morticia Addams

Miss Piggy

Voting ended onApr 29, 2025

teaandworlddomination

This is a tough one.

mi1kw33d-2-deactivated20250505

ao3 is crazy because you'll read the most gut-wrenching 200k word slowburn that leaves you sobbing into your sweater at four in the morning and the author will be applejacksmonstercock

roach-works

later you find out that applecock is like a) the nicest lady in the world, b) in her late fifties and c) is a well respected senior member of a career you didn't know existed like head mop taxonomist or chief piano refurbishment factor or secretary of racehorses and suddenly a few of the comments in the longest orgy scene are even funnier.

catboybiologist

One more joke hate: You may claim to be a woman but biologically you are a featherless biped and thus a man.

Finally a good argument for why I'm actually a man

estrogenesis-evangelion

if you told diogenes the cynic about being trans he'd be like "lol that's a sick troll you're epic" and you'd be like "diogenes no i'm serious" and he'd be like "lol that's even better lmao those guys are so mad about it" and then he'd start going by new original neopronouns every single day specifically to piss off the whole symposium

catboybiologist

I just had an idea for a really dumb comedy sketch where a transphobe starts ranting about what really makes a women a woman, and diogenes returns each time with a different cis woman or outwardly femme intersex person that doesn't meet the criteria saying "behold, a man!"

"a woman has XX chromosomes"

*Diogenes with an androgen insensitive XY cis woman*: behold, a man!

"Nono, a woman can bear children!"

*Diogenes with someone who has medical complications associated with pregnancy*: "behold, a man!"

"nono, a woman produces the large gamete"

*Diogenes with a postmenopausal cis woman* "behold, a man!"

estrogenesis-evangelion

Trans Rights With Diogenes! coming to PBS

anotherdayforchaosfay

Some idiot: only women can produce eggs!

*Diogenes holds up a chicken* Behold! A woman!

marvelsmostwanted

Displayed on the Old North Church in Boston, MA on April 18, 2025, the 250th anniversary of Paul Revere’s ride.

Photo source: silencedogoodboston, the group behind this idea

anthropologist-on-the-loose

Me: "I don't often cook but I'm going to quick look through my mom's recipe cards and see if I can find that specific recipe"

Me, 15 minutes later, sobbing: "Love is stored in handwritten recipe cards"

anthropologist-on-the-loose

No but for real. Handwritten recipe notes like:

"Kenny's Favorite" "Bake for 45 minutes BAKE FOR 35 MINUTES" "This is from Suzy, back when we lived in St. Louis!" "VERY GOOD!!" (this card had oil stains and ancient bits of dough stuck to the back of it) "Great for dinner parties, can be made ahead of time" "Add some vanilla" with an additional note in different handwriting, "2 tsp vanilla" "I use butter, but Grandpa Rudy uses lard" "Love you! Gramma Emy"

Seeing the handwriting and messages from those no longer with us, or people who I haven't seen for a decade, or even people I never knew but who clearly shared in loving the same people I do - there is an inherent love in sharing food, and personal recipes are a way of saying, "Here. I can't always be with you, but I want you be able to eat well. I hope this food will keep you as happy as you were when I made it for you." And they remind us of all the people who have ever made or shared those meals with us. And love is stored in handwritten recipe cards.

albertothechihuahua

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

jaxblade

ehh what the hell

jaxblade

OH MY GOD SO NO FUCKIN BULLSHIT I SWEAR To GOD. I reblogged this an hour ago and IM NOT Lying My Tax Refund which I did in late march popped into my Bank Account, and it was a Decent sized amount……

WHAT THE FUCK Is THIS MAGIC!??!?!?! Im trying this again IM NOT BSing hahahaha thats actually pretty cool xD

jaxblade

yooooo

yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

FUCKIN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

no BULLSHIT I KID YOU NOT! Look what I found while walking Home…..

OH MY GOD

OH MY F*CKIN GOD