when something bad happens to someone you dont like and you have to pretend you’re sad but on the inside you’re like
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@slymerjr
when something bad happens to someone you dont like and you have to pretend you’re sad but on the inside you’re like
what’s a good cutoff age for tumblr
no one should be on tumblr
I met the woman of my dreams on Tumblr ^_^
I met the man of my dreams on Tumblr 👀😁
i met a girl who made a hate blog about me and threatened to leak my nudes!!!
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Finally, a console that can do it all
scientist 1: we have succesfully cloned mew, what shall we name it
scientist 2:
op naming the second scientist
So there’s this huge dudebro in my class, who, yesterday, sat next to me. And I’m sitting there sweating because like… I’m wearing my shirt with the lesbian flag on it, and he’s the most popular jock in school, and always has this look on his face that say ‘I can and will kill you’. He looks me up and down, stares at me for a minute and then goes, “So. Girls in skirts and long socks, am I right?”
To which I nodded solemnly, both out of agreement, surprise and also a healthy amount of awkward fear. He nodded and went, “You get it.”
I said, “Yep.” He fistbumped me, and on went our lives.
Oh! I forgot to mention! I saw him at lunch the same day, and he ran up to me, tapped me on the shoulder, pointed at this super sweet girl who comes to GSA and asked if she’s gay. I told him he should ask her because that’s not my place and he said he would.
I thought that would be the end of it.
Except ten minutes later he came back and told me he found out (she’s bi) and that both of us have a shot. I said “You more than me.” because he’s attractive and popular.
But this wholesome dumbass looked really confused and asked, “Because I’m tall?’
So this isn’t lesbian/jock solidarity but I thought you guys would want to know-
My math teacher was trying to fix the rolling whiteboard and he just offhand said “This would be easier with a wrench”
And deadass, dudebro said “Hang on” and then proceeded to pull a fucking wrench out of his backpack
Update- after school today he saw me in the library and he didn’t say anything? He just pointed at the book he was holding and I gave him a thumbs up because it’s a pretty good book, and he went “Yes!” Really quiet and pumped his fist and then left
Okay so today he asked me if I know how to help people having a panic attack and I was like yeah? And he smiled at me and then went “cool I think I’m having one”
And I was like what the fuck Colin we’re in the middle of Tech class sit down and we went out in the hall and sat there for a while and he told me about the test he’s stressed about so we kind of went over his study guide and when he was feeling better he kind of like… smacked his head against mine gently? And I helped him up even though he’s almost a foot taller than me and yeah
Today at lunch we walked to the football field and laid in the grass and I told him thank you for being my friend (because I don’t have that many) and fistbumped me and said, “You always looked so nice and chill, how could I not want to be your friend?”
And honestly y’all, I would’ve started crying if he hadn’t sneezed and accidentally smacked me
i’m losing my mind
bert was always my favorite muppet as a kid and TBH I stand by this as an adult.
anyways its been like four days and I have yet to stop laughing even slightly less at ‘OH GROOVE WITH ME BABY’ (THUNK THUNK THUNK) so
im starting to suspect bert and ernie sketches were just the basis of my sense of humor
You guys just have to trust me on this one and click here okay?
“hey bro” “yeah bro?” “i wanna live in ur socks” “hahah, why bro?” “so i can be with you every step of the way” “…oh m y god… bro :’)”
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Fucking christ, lmao
you could tell me british people say/do literally anything and i would believe it
@namelesstunnelgrub i straight up can’t tell if you’re joking
CUCKFIELD REAL?
NO FUCKING WAY
funniest possible response to this post
This guy got so high he astral projected into April 2020
this guy too
THIS IS IT. IVE FOUND THE FUNNIEST THING ON THIS PLANET.