fukin trash

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

[niqabisinparis]

if my husband doesn’t cry when he sees me on our wedding day I will softly kick him in the shin until he sheds a tear 

[avvocarlo]

[ruinedchildhood]

[yossiacar]

Friday, 20:15: Maghrib

[dirtyratchet]

when u at the beach

[pennanpayper]

*murders somebody*

*hides the murder weapon in a pudding factory vat*

*gets questioned by the police*

Me: “The proof is in the pudding lol”

Police: lol

Judge: lol

Inmate: lol

[harrygallery]

[melisica]

it’s just so sad how quickly things can change

[likeloveadore]

I was walking my dog today and this little boy stopped to pat her and was asking questions about her. He wanted to know where I got her and I said she was adopted from a shelter.

Boy: Have you told her yet? Me: What? Boy: Have you told her that she’s adopted? Me: Yes, she knows. Boy: That’s good, you should never keep a secret from a dog.

[gloomgaze]

why does everyone think the guy from iceage is the hottest person ever dude looks like a soggy towel

[nyambient]

are we talking the mammoth or the sloth?

[nyambient]

oh you mean the band

[oraclesofnorway]

Your body is an incredibly bizarre machine.

“What you see is a myosin protein dragging an endorphin along a filament to the inner part of the brain’s parietal cortex which creates happiness. Happiness. You’re looking at happiness.”

[andrewbelami]

Look at her STRUT!!! She is dragging that endorphin for filth and using that filament as her runway, bitch.

[deactivatingrealsoon-deactivate]

6 inch heels…..she walked in the club like nobody’s business…..godam…..she murdered everybody and i was her witness

[whomst]

Every horse movie

Sarah aynn: “no one understands me I hate you Mom for making us move out here in the middle of no where there’s not even cute boys” *runs away and finds mysterious farm* Old man wilkinson: “this right here lil lady is a hourisey if yer can tame t it’s yoires if not it’s goin back to the horse factory” Sarsjh: *walks up to horse and starts to pet its nose* “see girl? You and me aren’t so different after all” Old man wonka: “why I don’t believe it she done tamed ol’ misery I reckon she ought to sign her up for the horuse show and save the farm” *cut scene of Sarah sneaking out the house to ride her horse everyday until her mom finds out* Mom: “young lady you are GROUNDED!!!! You are not allowed to compete in the horse show” Staryah: “no Mom please” *runs away and almost gets hit by car but then the horse pushes the car out the way" Mom: “fucjkfidnb maybe that’s a good horse after all”

[seriousjones]

people who struggle with secondhand embarrassment obviously don’t have enough firsthand embarrassment in their lives. be more ashamed, like the rest of us. there’s enough shame to go around. start pullin yer weight

[cheaphalloweencostume]

tumblr claims to be the most diverse open community and yet what is this ? i am being shame-shamed?

[pupsnout-deactivated20170605]

[jncoes]

*checks my email at the club*

[princesshamlet-deactivated20210]

i never realised that The Babadook was accidentally put in the LGBT+ movies section of Netflix i thought we all just collectively decided the babadook was gay for no reason at all

[krabby-kronicle]

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