Snack Talk

[snacktalks]

McDonald’s Angus Bacon and Cheese Burger

McDonald’s is the one fast food restaurant that makes me feel instant guilt once I have finished my meal. Whether it be the last french fry or the last sip of soda, it puts me in a sad mood as soon as I walk to the trash with my wrappers and cup. Despite this feeling of unease and disappointment in myself I still manage to eat at McDonald’s about once a week. I like McDonald’s for their consistency and easy choices, although sometimes they decide to flip the script with new burgers or the delicious Garlic Parmesan fries which were extremely tasty. I have tried just about every item on the menu, but have always ignored the one bad boy of the burger pack: The Mighty Angus.

The Angus Burger is made from Angus cattle, and came on to the Canadian menu permanently in 2008. It was first popular in fast food as an option at Harvey’s restaurants. The difference between the Angus and a regular burger is the size. It is noticeably thicker than your run-of-the-mill McDonald’s patty, which is why it’s marketing campaign was all about how big and tough the thing was. It is marketed as being “mighty” with a real tough guy image. These advertisements used to turn me off of the product completely when the burger made its debut. I never liked the tough guy image, especially when it came to food. I want something that is delicious! The Baconator was advertised in that way, but in more of a joking way. “look how crazy this thing is” was more of the message, and I liked that, even though eating that much meat and cheese made me want to hurl. Stuff that is supposed to be “manly” can eat a butt. 

My wife bought an Angus burger before me and said it was good, so I thought I may as well bite the bullet and eat the thing. The next time we decided to take our shameful journey to the big “M”, I bought myself the big boy. The meaty mother of McD’s, the Mighty Angus. I am a big fan of the Quarter-Pounder with cheese, so I bought the burger in a similar style. 

It was okay. Not too bad! I did think there was too much meat. Not too much in the sense that I was too full, or that it was disgusting. There was just too much meat, and not enough flavour in the meat. It could also be that the meat-to-toppings ratio was off its axis, and this patty was supposed to be the protagonist in the story of the burger, but was overshadowing everything else and just plain annoying. The bun was very good, but the system that the company uses to blast out toppings is not made for a burger of that stature. There needs to be a new system, or a new kind of burger with more taste to it. I am not even asking for more complex flavour. If this burger wants to be the big boy of burgers, it has to be more appetizing, because their ain’t much excitement in this burg. 

[snacktalks]

Mayonnaise

Among the slew of articles of older generations blaming millennials for hurting certain industries, one of them has stood out among the rest. This one is called How Millennials Killed Mayonnaise. This article is a wild one! It takes the reader through a brief history of mayonnaise as well as a ride on a wave of dark negative emotions. Just when you think there is a positive, Sandy Hingston will bring you right back down into the depths of her crying mind where mayonnaise is ignored, and her family’s favourite dishes are shunned at various gatherings. 

She does let readers know that her young son likes mayonnaise, but her daughter, who happens to be a Women’s and Gender Studies major, “naturally” does not. I don’t know why this is natural, but what do I know about Women’s Studies? For all I know, that could be in the curriculum! There are some really strange views throughout this article, as well as some weird slang where either Hingston is trying to be cool, or she is trying to be ironic. I believe it is the former. 

For all it’s worth, I think Mayonnaise is a pretty good condiment. I have had plenty of food that looks unpleasant. I have eaten plenty of things that would probably be disgusting to most; caviar, escargot, and uni. I don’t think mayo looking gross would bother younger folk because I believe we are becoming more adventurous with trying different food. We are trying different textures and unknown flavours. Mayo is used as a condiment for different foods like chicken karage and french fries. It’s still used on many sandwiches, and aioli is a pretty close cousin of the condiment. It is just a fancier word to put on a menu. The Food Network and the cool, hip ‘tude of chef culture has expanded our thoughts about food, where it comes from, and what we can do with it. It doesn’t mean we are throwing away older methods and ingredients. Young chefs are going back and looking at the history of food, and the history of traditional family recipes. Maybe an old mayonnaise is in there ready to be manipulated, or put on a menu in its traditional form. Whatever the case, trends may die but they can resurface in a new way. Just look at guys with whimsical mustaches. 

Talking trash about food is not great. There are a lot of people in the world who don’t have the luxury of choosing their meals, and are lucky to even get a decent meal. But trashing an entire generation? Come on... I do agree that mayo rules, but maybe you gotta check your recipes because they probably taste like shit.  

[snacktalks]

The Food Reviewer

When I was in Junior High I wanted to be a music writer. I thought it would be such a cool job, talking to bands you liked, and getting free albums. I didn’t actually think about the whole writing aspect of it, or that you would have to review things your didn’t like. When I was in high school I loved to read the alt-weekly in Calgary, FFWD. Back then, I thought it would be incredible if I could even write for an organization like that. They seemed to be “in the know” about what was going on in the city. It turns out that eventually I would be the most cynical, jaded person in the world working freelance for them. I wrote music and festival reviews, and eventually wrote Snack Talk for their online version of the magazine. My editor and friend Josiah Hughes let me write Snack Talk, and let me do pretty much whatever I wanted with that column. I have always tried to be pretty honest about everything in my writing, and it was one night hanging out with my friends Josiah, Sara, and Carl when we all watched a series of Youtube videos that made me rethink the way I do a review. 

There is a youtube channel called thefoodreviewer. This is a channel by a young man by the name of Tyler, who hosts a program called, “Cooking With Tyler”, and another program called “The Food Reviewer”. On occasion he cooks some of his favourite dishes, although he will usually review a snack or restaurant item. I am not sure how long he has been doing these reviews and cooking shows, as the first video on his channel is titled, “I WAS HACKED! I AM BACK”, and is from 2012. In the video, he describes how his account was hacked, and that him and his ex editor (???) Matt Harris, got the channel back. Tyler is wearing a Boston White Sox shirt, the top of his head is cropped off, and he calmly mentions how he is “pissed off” about a Gushers review being deleted. It sounds like a frustrating situation for him, but he seems to speak about it calmly enough, and he mentions to his fans that he will have some more videos up soon. 

In a more recent video from 2016, Tyler is sitting in his car, telling his audience that he drove 40 minutes to try Chic Fil A, but then, shocks the viewer by saying “JK, I am picking up my mom from the airport, so I made a pit stop”. The camera is awkwardly set in a position that shows the steering wheel of his car up close. He proceeds to order his food through the drive-thru, and then tells the camera that the people working at Chic Fil A are “so fuckin’ nice”. He realizes that the camera is on the steering wheel, and switches the view, and mentions this to his audience. His Boston accent is more pronounced than in his videos from 2012. He likes that the drinks come in a styrofoam cup, but instantly questions whether this actually keeps the drink colder for a longer amount of time. He describes each item that is in his bag, with a little bit of commentary blended in to each description. Then, he takes a bite of his sandwich and claims it is the best spicy chicken sandwich he’s ever had in his life! This review is great, although he seems to trying a little harder to incorporate jokes, and be a little more like a “cool” host. 

The great thing about these videos is that they aren’t pretentious in any way. They are very straight-forward reviews. There is zero production value, except for at the beginning with his intro song and video. He seems to make these videos off the cuff. He questions his own logic, and sometimes with his cooking videos, he gets confused about the amount of ingredients he needs, and occasionally screws up the food. 

The first video I saw of his was a video where he teaches his audience to make pancakes. He opens the show wearing a Las Vegas t-shirt, covered in flour. He has obviously been trying to make his pancakes before recording. At this point, he seems to be trying to ham it up a bit for his audience. He is peppering his language with curse words, and right off the bat, he admits he screwed up his pancakes. He admits that he uses the Aunt Jamima pancake batter, but pronounces her name wrong. He also says he is the “guy version” of Paula Deen. I hope to god he is saying that before everybody found out she was a racist. He uses a TON of butter, M&M’s, cinnamon, and doesn’t really know the amount of anything he is putting in, except for “one stick of butter”. It shows him cooking the pancake, and when he flips it, it is revealed that he has burnt the pancake. Tyler soldiers on, though, while talking to himself about Britney Spears. When his pancakes are complete, he adds MORE butter, and wipes the stick on the top of the stack of pancakes. He admits that he already ate some pancakes that day, and proceeds to pour a ton of syrup onto his pancakes. 

There is a lot to take in with this video. He is trying to find an audience, but in the end, the video is still honest and unique. He subtly tries to be a food reviewer of heavy carb, “extreme” food, and he swears every once in a while, but there is a purity and innocence to all of his videos which makes them good. He always seems nervous, and everything seems to be done on the first try. It’s refreshing to see something that is the complete opposite of the razzle dazzle of the Food Network. There is even an episode where he quietly makes Chicken Parmesan. I am assuming because it is late at night, and his parents are asleep. 

It’s been a while since the Food Reviewer has posted anything, but I hope he keeps it up. 

[snacktalks]

Pizza Pizza Pepperoni Pizza Slice

There is a large chain of pizza places in Ontario called “Pizza Pizza”. I only knew about it previously from an old advertisement featuring the classic Calgarian wrestler, Bret “The Hit Man” Hart telling viewers to “crack the cardboard!” to open the pizza box. Unfortunately, I cannot find the full commercial. 

Pizza Pizza sells full pies, as well as individual slices. They also have a promotion where if you have a ticket to a Toronto Raptors game, and the raptors score over 100 points, you get a free slice the next day. We just so happened to attend a game the other night, where the Raptors won the game, and just squeaked over 100 points! It was a great game, and a free lunch sounded good to me. I was told that this pizza was pretty lousy, but I may as well give it a shot if I don’t have to pay for it! 

I walked over yesterday to grab a slice of pepperoni and a coke. The place was completely deserted, except for the two people working in the back. It was about 12:15 in the afternoon, so I thought there would be a bit of a lunch rush. I got my slice and headed home. The smell of the slice was strange and overpowering. I felt embarrassed walking down the street with such a potent piece of pizza in my hands. Usually, I am the type of guy who would show off his pie. I am always envious of those who are walking down the street with take-out in their hands, about to eat, when I go home knowing my dinner will not be as good as a delicious, cheesy pizza with all of my favourite toppings. 

Pepperoni or cheese were the choices for my free slice. Both seem like safe bets. I got the pepperoni. When I dug in, something was immediately off. Actually, everything was off. The sauce tasted something cheaper than Chef Boyardee sauce. The crust has a strange texture, and a flavour that tasted to me like instant regret. The cheese and pepperoni reminded me of this one “party platter” tray I got from superstore many years ago. It was made up of chopped up mystery meat, and an oily marble cheese. Absolutely revolting. This slice was so bad, I had to throw it in the trash about half way through. I have never thrown pizza in the garbage before. I did expect it to be bad, but not as bad as it actually was. I warn everyone to stay away. You can spend your money on much better food for the same price. 

This pizza was bad, and it kind of threw me off my day. But that isn’t even close to what is going on in the world today. Two of the worst people in the world are in control of the United States. Donald Trump and Steve Bannon are spreading hate, and taking away the basic human rights of the people of the United States. They are also breaking ties with many countries around the world, and trying to keep people from 7 Muslim-majority countries from entering the country, despite having lived there, having a green card, or needing special medical treatment. Trump acts like a baby when somebody makes fun of him and opposes him or one of his supporters, such as threatening to cut federal funding for UC Berkeley a day after protests against Breitbart writer and noted troll Milo Yiannopoulos was supposed to speak at the school. Every day Trump is in power, many basic rights and freedoms of the people are lost, and the citizens of the United States are stuck under this fascist regime. You cannot call it anything but fascist. Giving Trump a chance was never an option. It is even worse than everyone thought, and we knew it was going to be pretty stupid from the beginning. His win has brought many nazis out into the world, believing it is now okay to spout their racist nonsense. It is not. It is okay to beat them down if you see them, though.

In Canada, our Prime Minister is a liar, and does not care about the people either. He pretends to, but hopes the people will forget about his promises, and eventually turns his back on the people. By now, this is expected. It is nothing new, but each time he lies, it does hurt. His “charm” can only go so far. A buffoon by the name of Kevin O’Leary is running for the Conservative party of Canada, and he has very similar credentials to Trump. He is a business man who was also on a reality TV program. He writes very annoying op-ed’s on occasion, and when you hear him speak, it’s like a guy who got swirlies all throughout high school got rich, and can now treat everyone else like shit.  

Everything is really, really bad right now. What I described was just the tip of the iceberg. A terrible piece of pizza doesn’t even come close to the trouble we are in right now. We have to fight, and fight hard. We have to destroy these fascists and stand up for human rights. We have to fight for POC, for women, for people with disabilities, for the LGBTQ community, for the poor, and for anyone who feels like they are not equal. Everyone deserves the right to be free, to feel welcome and to feel included. 

Anyway, I’ll do some more snack stuff when things calm down (whenever or if that may happen), but until then, here are some pages where you can donate money and help out. 

The ACLU

Planned Parenthood

The National Immigration Law Center

NAACP

Anti-Defamation League

National Organization For Women

Center For Reproductive Rights

There are many charities and local organizations that would be useful as well, so look out for them! Protesting and marching is a good way to get the word out, too. 

I just write about food on occasion, but I believe it is good to say this kind of thing when it is necessary. It may not be elegant, and it may follow a pizza post, but awful things remind me of awful times and awful people. 

Jeremy

[snacktalks]

Momofuku Cornflake Chocolate Chip Marshmallow Cookie (with guest review by Jesse Locke)

The Momofuku Milk bar is an incredible little snack shop inside the Momofuku restaurant in Toronto. Meganne and I found these delicious treats to have during a movie in the afternoon. We invited our good friend Jesse over, and I tricked him into doing a little review for this cookie. Jesse recently wrote a book about the 1970′s rock band Simply Saucer. It is called Heavy Metalloid Music. He also play drums in the bands Tough Age and Century Palm. Check all of these things out if you like! 

I’ll start off with my review, and get that out of the way. The cookie was very chewy, and extremely rich. I may not have the same palate for sweets like I used to, but I couldn’t eat the cookie in one go. I nursed  the thing. It wasn’t massive or anything, but was full of many flavours. The marshmallow made it sticky and chewy, which was great for pulling pieces apart without making much of a mess. It was a great combination of flavours, and the cornflakes probably helped make it a little more crunchy. It was probably one of the best cookies I have ever eaten. My favourite cookie used to be chocolate chip macadamia nut, but that doesn’t even hold a candle to this bad boy. I think it is more of a special occasion cookie than anything, due to the sweetness of the snack. We did also eat these cookies with Tahitian Treats, which are chock full of sugar. I am sure that didn’t help. 

Jesse’s Review

Jeremy invited me over to his apartment to watch a movie and surprised me with this fancy cookie from Momofuku. He paired it with an old school Tahitian Treat soda, which immediately got Porno For Pyros’ “Tahitian Moon” from Big Shiny Tunes 1 stuck in my head. I didn’t have a problem with that. The marshmallow part of the cookie made it extra sticky/chewy, which was great because it slowed me down and made me savour it instead of gobbling the whole thing in a few bites. The chocolate wasn’t too sweet, and I would give the snacking experience five chunks out of five.

If you’re curious, we watched Swiss Army Man, a troubling castaway story. Paul Dano stars as the manic unreliable narrator with an 8-year-old boy’s understanding of human relationships. Daniel Radcliffe co-stars as a reanimated dead man with magical powers of bodily functions (again: 8-year-old) and the onscreen charisma of Wilson the volleyball. I had a few laughs and I’ve never seen a movie like this before but I don’t think anything else like it needs to exist. Thanks to Jeremy, David Chang, The Daniels, Perry Farrell, Meganne, and Winston.

[snacktalks]

Snack memories: Big John’s (Calgary)

The term “street food” is very popular to use in restaurant culture. Celebrity chefs have endorsed various street meats over the past few years, as well as cheap diner eats, and “peasant food”, which has become a popular staple on many menus in big cities. You don’t have to go to an expensive restaurant to eat the hip and cool food of the week. You can put on your shades, and grab a taco for a couple bucks. Although expensive food is still hip (I watched a woman try to explain sea urchin to the woman at the Loblaws fish counter for about ten minutes), the street meat will always be a nice alternative for those without deep pockets full of cash. 

Before the celebrity food critics and chefs praised this meat, it was shunned by food snobs. I was tricked into thinking this donair meat was bad for you. I always thought it would make me sick to my stomach, and I would never recover. But one day, my best bud Keith showed me the way. 

I was having a pretty bad day, so Keith suggested I come over to his place. He convinced me to try a donair at a place by his apartment called “Big John’s”. It sold a variety of different foods, but he told me that the donair was good. It was plain. Mostly meat, and a choice between sweet sauce or tzatziki. There were a few tomato bits spread along the meat, but not much else in the way of vegetables. This was all wrapped in a pita. We both got large donairs, and I just remember shovelling the whole thing down my mouth as fast as possible, with sauch dripping down my face, while watching South Park episodes in Keith’s room. I was instantly addicted to this donair, and I had to try every one. 

There are many donair places all around Calgary, but the plain one with sweet sauce from Big John’s will always be my favourite. I know of all of the popular places in the city, and I have tried most of them. I just like the simplicity of the meat, sauce, and pita bread. I have gone to Big John’s so many times since then, and Big John ended up knowing me by name. I would see him making deliveries in the neighbourhood, and I would always give him a wave. Big John’s is one of my favourite places to eat, even though their pizza isn’t great, and I am sure most people would totally disagree with me on this being the best donair in town. Who knows? Maybe it’s a nostalgia thing. Maybe it’s because Keith cheered me up on that day with a great new food, and some good laughs. Maybe I just like simple things. I don’t know, but that day and Big John’s will always live on in my heart, and in my gut. 

[snacktalks]

Hot Dog With Ketchup and Mustard

The hot dog is a wonderful summer time treat that is great on the grill. It can also be boiled, steamed, or fried. It’s a great tube of meat that, like the burger, can hold many toppings. The choice is up to you as to what toppings you want to throw on top of that dog, but the one I prefer is the classic ketchup and mustard combination. 

Ketchup has gotten a bad reputation in recent years. It’s the put-downs from the awful “foodie” generation that puts down ingredients. It’s a shame, because ketchup is a great condiment. It may be because certain dogs like the classic Chicago hot dog do not contain ketchup. In some super harsh cases, ketchup is banned from some Chicago hot doggeries, in order to keep the tradition alive. These tactics are good for business, especially in tourist markets where they think they are getting the “true Chicago experience”. I have had hot dogs that are in the Chicago style, and I think they have needed a little squirt of ketchup on them to make them taste better. There is a whole article on ketchup on hot dogs pissing people off here.

I believe you can eat whatever you want! If you want to unload a ton of ketchup on your delicious dog, you should go right ahead. Don’t shame a person for their taste, even if it happens to be a diet consisting of mainly bagel bites. Sure, it’s weird, but they could have a special snacking connection to those bites. 

Anyway, this treat has a special connection to me, and I am sure many more people. It’s the connection of the classic summer BBQ with family and friends. Occasionally opting out of eating a burger, for the mystery tube treat. A couple of them if I am hungry, with a side of chips. It’s simple, but the condiments boost the flavour, and compliment one another. The spice and the sweet. Smelling those dogs grilling while I relax in the grass with a tall glass of lemonade... Ahh! Summer!

Maybe I am contradicting myself by saying that Monster Energy drinks totally suck in my last post, and now saying that shaming someone for what they eat or drink is a bad thing... But Monster is a terrible company, and hot dogs are just a mystery. Whatever. Such is life. 

Hot Dogs will bring the family together.  

[snacktalks]

Monster Rehab Tea + Lemonade + Energy Drink

It’s not often that I will pick up an energy drink, and certainly not the one that looks like claw marks scratching down the side of the can. But these were on sale, and I didn’t get a very good sleep last night, so hey, why the hell not?

The tea and lemonade combo, commonly referred to as the “Arnold Palmer” or “Arnie Parmi” is a delicious drink that usually works wonders when the two beverages are combined. That is, if you have the right balance of tea and lemonade, and the right kinds of both beverages. It’s a cool, refreshing beverage that is great for a hot summer day. 

Energy drinks are usually very acidic and taste like a weird medicine, no matter how much they mask the original chemical taste with some sort of flavour. I have always wondered why they don’t place warnings on the labels of these bad boys, considering drinking more than two will make your heart feel like it’s going to blast right through your chest. These cans are like a chemical spill into your gut, and will make you buzz in the weirdest way. 

This can looked to be the most harmless, besides the coffee cans, which I had tasted before and I must say, they tasted disgusting. They were like a child’s idea of what coffee tasted like, before they had ever had a cup. I am totally down with Arnie Parmies, so this was the best bet. 

It still tasted like chemical sludge, but with hints of lemonade and iced tea, which wasn’t so bad, but still tasted like it was made in a major factory that produced Arnie Parmie “flavour”. So, not very good. It’s also embarrassing to even carry this can around. Monster Energy Drink is a very jock-bro beverage, and is usually associated with dumb-guy extreme sports goons. The type of people that would still stick their tongue to a metal pole in the winter, just to see if the rumors were true. I think I may be too harsh, but they are just a real dumb company.  Mike D and Adam Horovitz of The Beastie Boys even filed a lawsuit against them for using their music in an advertisement without permission. That is pretty low, Monster!

I can’t really tell you what energy drink would be better than this. They are all equally bad in a different way. The strange amount of ingredients with very long names sounds like you are playing a roulette game with pharmaceuticals. 

Avoid at all costs. Drink a coffee or something. 

[snacktalks]

Japansnack- Shake Shack Tokyo

Before we left for Japan, Meganne told me that her favorite burger place, Shake Shack, was opening up in Tokyo. I am always excited about new burgers, and I never made it to Shake Shack when I visited New York a couple times a few years back. I meant to, but I wasted time drinking flavours of Arizona Iced Teas I hadn’t heard before on some stoop or something equally pointless, instead of chomping a wicked burg. 

In Japan, a burger is not the first thing you think of when you are talking about the culinary world. It’s filled with many delicious foods, and the main one is sushi. I think people think of me as a “meat and potatoes” guy, because I usually want burgers, or chicken fingers and fries, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the other stuff. It’s just personal preference. I will still gulp down a bunch of oysters and throw back some sushi rolls. The burger is just something that to me, seems like such a marvel in food engineering. Favorites in food are also hard to take seriously as well. A person’s burger treasure is another person’s burger trash. Many people in Calgary like a place called “Clive Burger”, which I think is gross. But hey, it’s all about your personal flavour favourites. Anyway, let’s get back to the matter at hand: Tokyo Shake Shack. 

Shake Shack originally opened up as a hot dog in Madison Square Park in Manhattan, to support the Madison Square Park Conservancy’s first art installation. It was a major success, as there were gigantic line-up’s of folks waiting for delicious food for three summers, until the permanent kiosk opened up in 2004. It is still wildly popular, with 1.5 hour waits in line for delicious burgers, hot dogs, custard shakes, ice cream, beer, wine and more. The Shake Shack has expanded to more locations around New York, as well as to other cities across the US, as well as locations in the Middle East, Russia, Turkey, the UK, and last but not least, Tokyo. There are two locations in Tokyo. One in Ebisu, and one next to the Tokyo Swallows baseball stadium, in  Meiji-Jingu Gaien. 

The photo above is from our 4th outing to Shake Shack. We visited both locations twice, and although Meganne said the Ebisu location was better, I couldn’t really tell the difference. I was still in awe of how delicious these burgers were. Each one was near perfect. Their special “Shackburger” is a cheeseburger topped with a tomato, lettuce, and their special Shacksauce. It totally rules. The meat is cooked to perfection. It isn’t a bbq burger, with that weird burnt taste. Instead, it feels light, like a cloud of meat, or at least as cloudy as meat can get. The bun is toasted and buttery, and the ingredients are not loaded on, so they do not overpower the main ingredient. They are so easy to eat, we both considered getting more when we were done on multiple occasions, but I think looks are deceiving. The burgers look small and go into your belly quickly, but they expand and make you feel good. 

I also tried the SmokeShack burger one time. It is a much different flavour, with bacon, chopped cherry pepper, and shack sauce. The burger was still great, but I don’t think about it in the way I think of their classic burg. I am not one for getting double, or triple patties on a burger, but I did consider it when eating one of these bad boys. 

The sides are nothing to write home about. I would much rather just order a second burger, than get a side of cheese fries. Their “Shackmiester” beer is made by the Brooklyn brewery, and it is not bad, but not amazing. I haven’t tried their custard shakes, but that is for next time.

I can’t wait to go back again, and load up on burgers. I hope there is a hotel room I am staying in nearby, so I can eat and drink 10 burgers in shame. 

[snacktalks]

Japansnack- Happy Easter Pancake Kit Kat

For the past 2 1/2 weeks, my girlfriend and I have been traveling across Japan. Specifically, Tokyo, Yokohama, Kyoto, Naoshima , and Osaka. It’s been a ton of walking, and traveling by train. All of this travel made us hungry, which makes it very fortunate for us that Japan is one of the greatest snack countries in the world. 

One of the best snack exports from Japan has to be the many flavours of Kit Kat bars available. It is known that there are different kinds of Kit Kat specific to different regions in Japan. There is also a shop that sells premium bars, for the Kit Kat connoisseur. It is surprising that the amount of delicious flavours of this seemingly normal chocolate bar haven’t gained traction in the west, but some of the flavours such as “wasabi” or “sake” may be a turn off. 

We were excited to check out some of these bars, especially the ones we haven’t tried before. The green tea Kit Kat is gaining popularity in Canada. It is featured in more candy shops, and people want to try something a little bit different than what they know as the original Kit Kat. 

We lucked out on grabbing some of the limited edition Easter bar, which is a pancake Kit Kat, shaped like a rabbit’s head. This means that the line for breaking the bar into two cuts off about 3/4′s through the bar, which made it harder to break into two. I didn’t notice this until a friend pointed it out when we got home. I just thought I was doing a rush job at breaking them, and I made a mess every single time. 

The bars are a buttery yellow, which is fitting because they do taste like a stick of butter, slathered in syrup. When I bit into them, I imagined eating a fat stack of buttery pancakes, with syrup constantly being drizzled onto these pancakes as I shoveled them into my mouth. Each bite was incredible, and tricked my senses into thinking I was eating breakfast. A difficult thing for an imitation flavor to do. I once listened to a This American Life episode about the original recipe for Coca  Cola, and how the Jones Soda guys tried to replicate the recipe, but just couldn’t get it right. They may want to take a break and get the Japanese Kit Kat wizards of flavour to step in and try to replicate it. Maybe they can make a Coca Cola bar. Anyway, the bar was a little more focused on the butter and syrup portions of a pancake breakfast, rather than the pancake itself. I can’t really complain, though. It was great!

I don’t really know about any sort of significance between pancakes and Easter, other than pancakes are sweet, and Easter is all about eating sweet stuff, and nothing more. Whatever their decision to make these a pancake treat, it was a good one. We have one more bag at home. I know it is going to go fast, and I will be sad when it does. I will be happy to have a few more bites, and say goodbye to my perfect yellow friends.  

[snacktalks]

Angriest Whopper

Whopper Wednesday at Burger King is a big deal in Vancouver. I only say that because I have heard strangers yelling at each other, “it’s whopper Wednesday!” like it is some sort of holy religious day. Sometimes I will get a whopper with cheese on this holy day, but it isn’t my favorite burger. It is a large, flame-grilled burger with all of the regular fixin’s. It was never really a burger chain I was excited about until later on in life. I think Burger King started stepping up their game by having crazy deals, and trying to get wackier with their menu items, such as this one. When I was young, Burger King tried to appeal to 90′s kids by having cartoon characters that dressed kind of grungy and skateboarded while wearing sunglasses. Honestly, I was more into Ronald Mcdonald, and I didn’t even like clowns.

" The Angriest WHOPPER® sandwich consists of savory flame-grilled beef, piled high with thick-cut bacon, American cheese, iceberg lettuce, tomatoes, angry onion petals, jalapeños, creamy mayonnaise and spicy angry sauce all layered between a red bun that has hot sauced baked in.” is the description on the Burger King Website. The thing that may throw most people off is that bright, red bun. It is as bright as it looks in the advertisements, but that wasn’t the distracting thing for me. I actually thought it was kind of fun, like when Heinz tried to make all of those different coloured ketchups. Nobody liked them, but at least they were trying something that would appeal to the youth market. 

The problem with the angriest whopper is it is just too damn angry. There are too many jalaps and hot sauces (including the bun) that overpower the rest of the ingredients. I liked the “angry onion petals”, but they were always being overshadowed by the sauce and peppers. Even the bun, infused with hot sauce, felt weirdly dry, like a hot desert. Every ingredient makes sense, but is worthless in the end, with an overload of hot stuff. 

Burger King has made wacky burgers before, including the black burger, which was released in Japan around Halloween. That burger looks even more unappetizing, but I would still love to try it! 

It was exciting to try, as I do like spicy stuff. There just needs to be balance. Spicy specialty items are hard to enjoy in the fast food universe. Companies seem to think that making these super spicy items are an “extreme” marketing strategy, when in reality they are not giving our taste buds the full flavour they deserve. 

Anyway, I ended up feeling really disgusting afterwards and I had some pretty bad stomach cramps today. My entire body is mad at me for shoving that down my throat.

 This burger did make me angry, but not the angriest I have been. 

[snacktalks]

Ritz Bits Cheese Cracker Sandwiches

Ritz crackers have been a household staple since the 1930′s. A classic cracker with a buttery flavor that cannot be compared. On their website, they don’t have a lot of information. “ Our classic recipe, with a buttery taste perfect for pairing, topping or popping. Open up and say, “ahh””. That last part sounds kind of creepy. Anyway, they are a staple for snack trays at funerals and other afternoon events all around the world. 

Ritz crackers were more of a snacking option when I was young, especially in the 90′s. It was a regular staple in many households, and a common accompaniment to a chicken noodle soup. The older I got, the less I would see the Ritz cracker around. My family didn’t buy these crackers often. We always had the Premium Plus in the cupboard. What else would you need? Ritz for me, was a bit of a treat whenever I got my hands on some in my elementary school days. They had the buttery, salty taste that a kid craves, when being compared to the bland, boring Premium Plus cracker. Intense flavors fueled my soul. But with age, your taste changes as well. I have to admit, mine hasn’t too much. I still love garbage food. But I haven’t had the urge to go out and buy a package of Ritz crackers, until now. 

The Ritz Bits cheese snack is even more of a juvenile snack. It is a strange orange cheese type of paste, sandwiched between two mini Ritz crackers. I bought it because I was craving Cheez Whiz, and thought it would support my craving by being a fake cheese type of product. One of my favorite childhood snacks is a hot dog with Cheez Whiz as a condiment, and it was haunting me. 

The crackers are a good size for snacking. You can pop each one into your mouth with ease. I like that, although it can be dangerous for possibly overeating. Lay’s has that slogan “betcha’ can’t eat just one”. Well, yeah. With most snack foods. They are conveniently shaped and heavy in salt. You are most likely going to eat more than one. 

I did eat more than one of these crackers, because they were salty, and because I was hungry. But they aren’t that great. I don’t really understand what they are going for with this “cheese”. It doesn’t taste too much like any cheese I know. It is quite sweet, and not at all like Cheez Whiz. The texture is soft, but on the verge of being crumbly. In the ingredients, it appears that the filling is made from “cheddar cheese powder”, which doesn’t sound so appetizing.

I guess it’s a fun snack if you are a kid, wanting a snack for lunch. But sitting around eating a box of this junk makes me feel like a big baby. 

Grow up, man! 

[snacktalks]

Wendy’s Jalapeño Fresco Spicy Chicken Sandwich

Wendy’s has always been one of the top fast-food restaurants. It doesn’t feel as conservative or “safe” as many other fast-food restaurants, with a fun, delicious menu, with many changing specialty items, as well as burgers with silly names like “Baconator” and the smaller version, “Son of Baconator”. The service at Wendy’s is usually fast, and with plenty of options to choose from, nobody is going to go home empty handed, or empty stomach’ed. 

I have to admit, when I was a child, I never found the appeal of Wendy’s. I thought it looked boring, and square burgers were not very appetizing to me. I was only interested in circular patties, and any square or cubed food could stay away from my mouth, thank you very much! It wasn’t until my early twenties that I found Wendy’s to be the superior fast-food establishment. 

I asked some friends what their favourite fast-food burger was, and most people said it was the Spicy Chicken Sandwich from Wendy’s. Now, I acknowledge that this isn’t a burger, but if most people enjoy it, that is definitely saying something. It is my favorite fast-food item, so when I received a text from my girlfriend today saying there was a limited edition Jalapeño Fresco Spicy Chicken Sandwich on the menu, I had to take a much deserved lunch break and check this thing out! 

On the way, my girlfriend gave me a micro-review, saying “Dece. Very spicy but a bit more processed feeling than the reg. Worth trying but once is enough for me.” This was great to know, as she is also a fan of the Spicy Chicken sandwich, and I do trust her snacking opinion more than most people. There is an item on here that is just called “ghost pepper sauce”. The sandwich also contains jalapeños, colby pepper jack cheese, and onions on a jalapeño bun. Now, this sounds great on paper, but will it match up to the original spicy chicken?

Nope!

It is good, but there is something about the sauce that changes the whole thing completely. The sauce is kind of spicy, but is reminiscent of an Arby’s sauce. The original spicy chicken also has fresh vegetables to counter the spicy taste, so you are getting a good balance of spicy and fresh, which harmonizes in your mouth. This new sandwich did not have that harmony, and felt a bit like a singular flavour. This isn’t a bad thing. It did achieve what it wanted to. It focuses on spice, and that is good. It actually works well if you substitute your soda pop in the combo for a lemonade. I had a strawberry lemonade with my combo, and it was more refreshing when paired with the spicy sandwich. 

I would compare this sandwich to the Baconator, in that what they are trying to achieve is to pull off one signature flavour or genre of flavour, like focusing on bacon, or focusing on a spicy element. I also applaud Wendy’s for keeping things interesting. They have new bold flavours and sauces they are willing to try. They have healthy options in their restaurants as well, but they aren’t switching gears into the health conscious trends of other fast food places. They still try totally bonkers sandwiches, and offer baked potatoes and nachos as a side, and strawberry lemonade. It’s the closest a major fast-food chain has to the “anything goes” attitude, and that is awesome. 

Wendy for president. 

[snacktalks]

Snack Talk Vancouver- Bao Down

Vancouver is a great place to get incredible food, for a decent price. The rise of fast casual food is very evident in Vancouver, and that is a wonderful thing. Being able to get relatively cheap food that tastes great was a difficult thing back in Calgary.You either went the fast food route (which was still expensive for what it was), or you paid a pretty penny for a gourmet meal that was... alright? It was hard to find any middle ground.

 Maybe these delicious fast casual places are a way to keep people like me in Vancouver. To forget about the high rent and the miserable, rainy days. It definitely steers my emotions into a positive direction! 

Bao Down is the latest place that has me excited about food. When I went there the first time with my girlfriend, I had a fried oyster bao and kimchi fries. The fried oyster bao was excellent. Crispy, yet fairly light and delicate, like I wasn’t eating something that was completely bad for me. The ratio of ingredients to steamed bun is excellent. It looks packed and messy, but I didn’t have a hard time keeping everything together for each bite. There are many ingredients on every bao, which make them look colorful and very appetizing. 

The Kimchi fries were the main event, though. We shared a large, which was too much food for the two of us. The fries were double fried, and topped with pork belly, sweet soy, crispy garlic, bean sprouts, garlic scape mayo and scallions. There was plenty of everything, and even I had to stop before all of the pork belly was gone, and I love the hog! It was an excellent side, and although I wanted more, I felt like it would be my death wish if I succumbed to the temptation. 

I went back yesterday, because I couldn’t resist! I had dreams about eating those soft buns with a delicious medley of ingredients. It was too much for me to bare. I had to snack! This time,  I went for a bao called “Two Worlds Collide”, which is filled with braised pork belly AND crispy pork belly, hoi sin, chicharon, gochujang, and pickled vegetables. The mix of the two pork belly options was incredible. I loved biting down on both crispy, and soft bits. Every ingredient mixed together in such a beautiful way. I wanted to cry. It is a wonderful product, and something I would recommend after a stupid day at work. 

I decided to go with another side of fries. This time, Japayoki style. I went for a small, due to my bloated body from gorging on a large last time. Japayoki fries are topped with fried chicken, curry cheese sauce, seaweed, jalapenos, bean sprouts, pea shoots, white and black sesame, sweet soy, scallions, and togarashi. I was surprised, as the curry cheese sauce was light, and sweet and creamy like a coconut curry sauce. It was an odd kind of sauce to put over french fries, but I dug it. The fried chicken pieces were delicious, but I wanted more! I am greedy for chicken, usually. It wasn’t much of a surprise. I did enjoy the fries, and thought there were very unique flavors being brought to the table, but I have to say the kimchi fries were a bit more exciting for my taste buddies. 

Both meals were fantastic, and I am excited to try more from this wonderful restaurant. My only complaint is that they play their music way too loud. I am not a big complainer about that kind of stuff, but I would want to take relatives to this place if they are in town, and don’t want to have to deal with that. 

http://baodown.net/

[snacktalks]

Mcdonald’s Sausage Mcmuffin with Egg

To get a good breakfast before work, you could always wake up early, make some eggs, bacon, potato hash, or whatever you like, or go for the cereal route, which is usually a disappointment. It takes a long time, and dishes are always a pain! I prefer getting up at the last minute, showering, and zipping right out the door, not knowing if breakfast will be an option that day.

The quick and easy way is to go the fast food route, which can be tasty, but can also be pretty unhealthy. It’s nice to do every once in a while, but the salty goodness of a breakfast sandwich can take its toll physically, and mentally. It will make me a roly poly sleepy man, with a hunger for more salt, and more future breakfast sandwiches. 

This morning I stopped at Mcdonald’s for a Sausage Mcmuffin with Egg. It used to be called “Sausage McMuffin”, but I think a lot of people get it without the egg, which is pretty strange for me. The sausage is so salty on its own, I think it needs the egg to counter this salty patty. 

Everything is great here. It’s a compact meal, and everything fits perfectly in between the English muffin. The processed cheese is the only thing that leaks over (besides the grease), but that is no fault of Mcdonald’s, unless they were to make circular cheese slices, which would be a huge waste of time. I am sure a lot of people eat the excess cheese off of their wrappers anyway. 

As I mentioned before, the sausage is very salty. I would say it could be toned down a bit, but that might be a mistake. I think it may be too bland if it weren’t so jacked up with salt. The egg adds some texture and a bit of calm to the stormy breakfast. 

There is a small history of the introduction of the Egg McMuffin from Time Magazine here.  It was the first popular breakfast item at McDonald’s, and is still the undefeated champion of breakfast sandwiches, in my opinion. There is a new healthy menu at McDonalds, but they should really be true to who they are, which is a greasy fast food “restaurant”, with salty crap that is addictive. Bring back the McDonaldland characters, and have them advertise this bucket ‘o’ sludge. We all know what it is all about. Don’t try to fool us. 

Gimmie that salt!

Jeremy

[snacktalks]

Haribo Happy Cola

Haribo is a wonderful candy company, which specializes in candies of the gummy variety. It’s hard to go wrong with a Haribo product, although they did have an issue with people getting diarrhea from their diet gummy bears. Otherwise, their star mix is a treat, and everything else (even the egg gummy), has been pretty great. 

Today I grabbed a bag of the Happy Cola gummi candies from the store, as they are my favorite candy in the Star Mix collection. I accidentally left them in the fridge for a couple of hours, because I had a bunch of other items in a bag that needed to be refrigerated, but I didn’t think that would raise too much of a problem. 

When I did get to snacking on these cola bottles, I found that maybe I shouldn’t have left them in the fridge. They were tougher to eat than I am used to, which makes for a less pleasant experience when eating them right after you purchase them. 

The flavor is what you would expect in a cola candy, although maybe it is the placebo effect of finding them in a bag of mixed candies, but those always taste better for some reason. I am assuming it is the thrill of the find, whereas having a bag full of cola candies just doesn’t give you the same pleasurable experience. 

The logo is the classic logo, with this yellow bear wearing his bow-tie sideways. I don’t know why his sideways bow-tie bothers me, but it does. Is he trying to be a punk? Like when punkers in the 80′s would buy Izod/Lacoste shirts, and wear a pin through the alligator logo as a “fuck you” to the preppy kids. Look punkers, you bought the shirt, so you are supporting the preppy company you hate. That’s dumb. 

Anyway, these candies are pretty good, but I prefer them in a candy mix like the Star Mix. That is a wonderful product that should be on everybody’s coffee table. 

Bye bye, 

Jeremy