Accio New Shoes

I'm too old for this, but here I am. Newsies, Harry Potter, whatever strikes my fancy, especially Drarry, Javid, Sprace, Wolfstar, Stony, Stormpilot, you get the picture

[copperbadge]

Had a dream this morning that Archive of our Own had a Random button which would simply take you to a random fanfic, like Wikipedia has. (AO3 does not appear to really have this, I checked and couldn't find one, but I kinda wish they did.) Someone had started a game where whatever fic you got, that was your new fandom, which is very fun! I would love this meme in real life.

The problem came in where so many people used the button that it broke and just started sending everyone to Stealing Harry, and like...I have fond memories of Stealing Harry but it's not my best work and nobody should be assigned to be a Harry Potter fan in this day and age.

So I decide to go off and find Astolat and demand she fix this but when I finally did (there was a whole quest) she turned to me like the baddie in a horror flick and said, "But that's the most random story there is" in a dark voice and I was terrified and woke up.

In the cold light of day I know there are more random stories by me on the archive, let alone by others, but I'm not going to try to get back there to argue my case. Pretty sure whatever I spoke to was actually the demon specifically assigned to plague fandom and not Astolat at all.

I'd say "get thee behind me, demon" but I know just how many porny fics on AO3 begin with that premise. (I've written some.) Begone foul spirit, and take your Satanic Panic with you!

[sassysnowperson]

This made me laugh so hard - of all the things a sleeping mind can offer up as entertainment, poor Copperbadge was visited by a demonic Astolat impersonator.

I wanted that Ao3 random button though.

SO I MADE ONE

It's a generator that produces a link to a random work page on AO3, using a number generator in the link.

Fair warning, it turns up 404 errors pretty often, because many works have been deleted. Keep clicking, you'll get something eventually.

Also, this is literally any work on AO3, so remember the back button and browse responsibly.

[enigmaticagentalice]

I mean I SAY I love the ‘Enemies to Lovers’ trope but what I really MEAN is that I love the

‘Enemies to Resentful Allies In A Time Of Crisis to Grudging Mutual Respect to Growing Fondness Concealed By Snark to Hurtful Betrayal to Slow Reconciliation With A Greater Understanding Of Each Other to Strange But Solid Friendship to Unexpected Feelings In A Time Of Crisis to Denying Their Feelings While Growing Closer As Friends to Epiphanies Of Love In The Worst Possible Circumstances to Mutual Pining to Unbearable Sexual Tension to Lovers’

trope

[snarkybubble]

Sprace

[snarkybubble]

Barnaby: What do you think all the magical creatures do when we’re not around?

Me: they probably have a shrine to you like I do

[snarkybubble]

Barnaby: You named a bowtruckle after me?! I’m honoured! No one’s ever named something after me before!

Me: Next will be our child

[glowin-theshark]

Be prepared for cuteness overload:

(First off, can I just point out that this boi is incredibly thoughtful and considerate, even towards the two that probably deserve it the least from him?)

(Geez! He was raised by Disney villians! Also, someone take this kid to a toy store ASAP!)

(Don’t ever change, Barnaby Lee.)

[snarkybubble]

Barnaby Lee is a treasure

[snarkybubble]

Professor Snape: What does Amortentia smell like?

Me: Amortentia smells like fresh laundry and a hint of sandalwood.

Also Me: Barnaby smells like fresh laundry and a hint of sandalwood.

[lightleckrereins]

I get to see newsies next tuesday!!!

[snarkybubble]

My cast!

[devanitely]

the most interesting thing about watching The Tenth Kingdom as an adult is realizing just how much Scott Cohen as Wolf shaped my sexuality as a child

[snarkybubble]

Oh goodness. This couldn’t be truer

[snarkybubble]

Barnaby: But where are the snacks? I join committees for the snacks.

Me: Honey.... YOU are a snack.

[snarkybubble]

Barnaby: Can I bring a date to the ball? I mean a person, not the fruit.

Me and every other Barnaby fangirl and fanboy: *internally squeeing*

Barnaby: I think Dumbledore likes my question

Me: He wasn’t the only one.

[snarkybubble]

Barnaby: Ismelda, did I ever tell you that you remind me of an augurey?

Harry Potter Wiki: The Augurey, also known as the Irish Phoenix, is a thin and mournful looking bird, somewhat like a small underfed vulture in appearance, with greenish black feathers and a sharp beak. Its diet consists of insects, fairies and flies, which it hunts for in the heavy rain.

Me: I don’t know if I feel jealous that you’ve thought about this, Barnaby, or glad that when you thought about this, it was the best creature similarity you could come up with.

Also me: which creature do I remind you of? 😍

[snarkybubble]

Ismelda: I don’t care what this thing needs.

Me: And yet you claim to be in love with Barnaby, the great lover of creatures? Please.

[snarkybubble]

Barnaby Lee: Professor Rakepick scares me a little.

Me: I’m here for you, Barnaby. Here, hold my hand and I’ll make it all better.

[snarkybubble]

Barnaby Lee: Rowan promised to help me study. I like Rowan.

Me: *glares daggers at my now ex-best-friend*

[hogwartsmysteryravenclaw]

Even fairies can’t resist Barnaby Lee

[barnabyleeofslytherin]

Good

[snarkybubble]

Barnaby is such a treasure

[nerds-are-cool]

if you’re struggling for AU ideas take a look-see at this list i wrote for my friend who dubbed it “better than the 10 commandments" 

1)     Coffee shop AU

i)       Barista and person who has a ridiculous coffee order

ii)      I’m worried about your coffee dependency

iii)     you accidentally poured boiling hot coffee over me so you’re responsible for taking me to A&E

iv)     you give me a different fake name every time you come into starbucks and I just want to know your real name bc ur cute but here I am scrawling “batman” onto your stupid cappuccino

2)      Flower shop AU

i)       You buy a weird amount of flowers and I’m concerned as to why

ii)      I’m allergic to flowers but I work in a flower shop – you’re a customer who’s very confused as to why I’d do that

iii)     (this is also a good way to incorporate flower meanings eg, buying certain colours/types for person to represent feelings etc.)

3)      Library AU

i)       You’re overdue on this book and I want it so I’m tracking u the fuck down

ii)      I work in the library and I’m a little concerned for your health bc you never stop studying

iii)     The library’s pretty empty save for you and me and OH that couple making out loudly in the shelves somewhere

4)      Awful first time meeting

i)       I accidentally punched you in the face when I was too overexcited about something

ii)      I thought you were my friend who’s just done something awful to me (read: cut my hair while I slept, dyed all of my clothes pink, etc. etc.) because you look similar from behind so I stormed up to you and shoved you from behind while calling you an asshole

iii)     You get the gist to this one

iv)     Oooh when you told me your name I thought you were joking because it’s fucking awful and I made a joke about it and things got awkward real fucking fast (perfect for a Hannibal au just saying)

5)      Weird places to meet/awkward meetings in general

i)       We live in the same block of flats but haven’t ever talked and Sunday morning we were both doing the walk of shame and had to stand in the lift together

ii)      “okay I know that being in the woods at 2am is a weird thing to be doing but my friend called me and- wait, why are you in the woods at 2am, fuck I’m going to die aren’t I?”

iii)     A personal favourite of mine – first day at a new job and oh fuck my boss is the person I drunkenly hooked up with last weekend/night

iv)     We keep accidentally running into each other I’m not a stalker I swear

v)      You live across from me in our apartments and we smile when we see each other but we don’t really know each other and oh you’re the stripper at my friend’s stag do/hen night fuck this is really uncomfortable

vi)     “My shower’s broken but I’ve got a date tonight could I possibly use your shower please?” “Oh sure (neighbour that I’ve been crushing on for the past six months) of course you can use my shower to get ready for your date (fuck fuck fuck)”

6)      Friends to romance – pining and all that wonderful shit

i)       You’ve got a date tonight and you asked for advice on what to wear but I’m so in love with you and damn you look good in the outfit I picked out for you

ii)      I really like you but you’re my best friend’s ex

iii)     You’ve liked me for ages and were really obvious about it and I didn’t like all the attention but now you’re over me I really miss it and fuck I think I like you too?

iv)     Somewhere along the way of getting into bar fights together, staying up all night with movie marathons, other friendship things, I’ve fallen in love with you but oh my god this could ruin EVERYTHING

v)      Friends with benefits oh wait I like you

7)      FAKE DATING HOLY SHIT I LIVE FOR THIS

i)       It’s my highschool reunion and I need a hot date so I can rub it in the faces of the people who hated me

ii)      My homophobic parents are coming to visit will you pretend to date me as an extra “fuck you”?

iii)     There’s a person who won’t stop bugging me will you pretend to be my partner so that they’ll fuck off?

iv)     I told my sister I have a boyfriend so she’d stop trying to set me up with people but now she’s coming to visit and I’m in too deep I need a fake boyf ASAP

8)      Soulmate aus

i)       The first words your true love(s) will say to you are tattooed on you and why the fuck are their first words something really ridiculous like ‘I’ll pay you a tenner to punch me in the face’ or ‘quick what’s your favourite animal’ or ‘fucking shit hell holy fuck wow oh my god jesus h Christ fuck me’ etc. or even worse a really ridiculous song lyric like  the opening lines of uptown funk or a high school musical song or smthing did you have to serenade me the first time you saw me asshole?

ii)      You get an ‘impression’ of your soulmate when you turn 18 or something but all I got was a strong smell of bananas or an overwhelming feeling that Thatcher was a good prime minister or an image in my mind of a fucking unicorn

iii)     The more ridiculous the better actually

iv)     Something like whenever your soulmate sings a duet you can’t help but join in and my fucking soulmate is in a goddamn band but I can’t sing for shit

v)      Or maybe something like soulmates always sneeze at the same time and I cant be sure but me and this kid in my French class just sneezed at the same time are we soulmates or was it a coincidence (proceed w character trying to make themselves sneeze around said person to see what’s what)

9)      Alternate universes for real

i)       Mermaids

ii)      Siren and asexual pirate who doesn’t understand why all his crew are losing their shit that person has a nice voice sure but what the fuck is happening

iii)     Hogwarts

iv)     We live in a world where the greek gods are real and you went and got yourself cursed and now I have to go on a fucking quest to sort this shit out why do I love you again?

v)      Pacific rim au (either they’re drift compatible or one of them is a ranger and the other stresses constantly bc what if they die yes I have read a fic like this no I didn’t come up with this one but it’s fucking good) (also if you haven’t seen that film go watch it now)

vi)     Literally any movie or book universe you like tbh just go for it

10)   Other aus that I like

i)       I wanted to go on the ferris wheel but there has to be two people to a cart come on random person let’s go oh wait are we stuck at the top? Fuck

ii)      We work in the same office and you have a goddamn squeaky chair and you wONT FUCKING STOP SQUEAKING IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT ANNOYS ME

iii)     Our mutual friend set us up on a blind date and I thought I’d hate it but you’re actually… kind of funny? But because I expected to hate it in no way am I going to let you change my mind just because you’re gorgeous and funny and intelligent oh no my friend is not winning this

iv)     It started to snow and I’m the only one of our friends who would go outside with you – I soon found out why none of the others would go out in the snow with you (this works best if they’re new friends who don’t know each other all that well) when you shoved a handful of snow down my back and declared snow war

v)      It’s nowhere near Christmas it’s literally still November would you calm down about Christmas wait no why are you getting the tree out no stop please stop (if you do this pre-relationship you can have the grouchy one secretly finding the other’s excitement endearing and falling in love with them actually that works for established relationship too)

vi)     Current partner got a new job in America (or other country far away) and we’re getting by on skype calls and emails but it’s not easy and then I met someone new (can be poly or can be finding the OTP person)

vii)   You want us both to get in shape and I hate working out/running but your ass looks really good in shorts oh the things I do for my friends and their nice asses

viii)  Carrying on from 10.vii. you’ve caught me checking you out in what I thought was a subtle way too many times and now you’re calling me out on it what do I do???

ix)     You’re an actor/other famous person that I really admire and I just saw you in the street and as I was debating whether or not to say hi you came up to me and started flirting what do I do??

x)      You were waving at your friend behind me but I got confused and waved back at you and now I’m dying of embarrassment but you think it’s cute

xi)     I sat down in the wrong class and I’m panicking but don’t want to get up and leave because the class has started and you think it’s hilarious and shut up you dumb fuck you don’t know me aahhh

xii)   I’m a waiter at this wedding and you’re a drunk guest who will not stop hitting on me please I’m trying to work no I can’t dance with you omg let me find you some water

xiii)  Our best friends are that awful ‘cute’ couple that make-out in public and call each other “sweetie” and “sugar” and “babe” and god they’re awful let’s talk about how awful they are – develops into “shit we’re the awful couple now”

xiv)  You pissed me off in class so I threw a book at your head and now I’m in detention and jesus fuck I hate you so much and the teacher made me apologise and wait you’re cuter up close and the way you talk is kind of nice actually oh fuck no

Okay I could go on forever but this is over 1,500 words of auing already I have too many ideas christ

send me some to @theskyis-forever with a pairing for me to write :)

[a-fight-we-have-to-win]

Jack Kelly(s)

This, at least, is how I understand it.

Jeremy Jordan: Tired!Jack Kelly

This is a Jack Kelly who feels every single one of his seventeen years and then some. He’s old for a newsie, old enough that it won’t be the Refuge they send him to next time. He’s tired of corruption and greed, tired of fighting for every inch, tired of watching his friends bleed instead of smile, starve instead of laugh, tired down to his broken bones. He never lets it show, but he wears it like a stained glass window. Sooner or later, someone will look up and notice the black cracks in between all that dazzling light. Crutchie knows, but Crutchie’s gone and there’s no one left to remind him to look up at the sky and see that it’s blue in New York too. Davey maybe has noticed, but he still thinks all that light is a good thing, not the barely controlled burn that it is. And Katherine? Well, if she knew, she would tell him breaking is better than burning.

Corey Cott: Scared!Jack Kelly

This Jack Kelly relives his first arrest every day, the Refuge reflected in his eyes. He is still a child, lost and alone and scared, even now. He wears his heart on his sleeve, bleeding out for everyone to see. The veneer of confidence he hides behind is thin, chips of it knocked away by every injustice and heartache and bruise. Even still, weakness is not in his vocabulary. He roars in the face of his own terror, rattling the very stars, and he does not apologize for what falls in his wake. Crutchie kept him grounded, kept his fears from swallowing him and now he’ll be consumed without him. Davey doesn’t know how to help him, so he reflects him, like a cold mirror image, shifts the direction enough to make something come of it. Only Katherine could match him, with her certainty and her belief crashing against his doubt. She would keep him safe, if only from himself.

Dan Deluca: Resigned!Jack Kelly

While always a dreamer, this Jack Kelly hardly believes in his dream. He carries no delusions. Having resigned himself to the world and its terrors, he sells lies because he doesn’t remember how to do anything else. He sells the strike, not because he believes a dozen street kids will topple an empire, but because he has to give these kids something to think about besides the aching holes in their stomachs. False hope is still hope and it keeps off the chill, if only for a little while. Crutchie follows along, entertaining the lies, but never taking him seriously. He knows the dreams still mean something. Davey has no idea it’s a lie at all, unable to fathom the possibility that injustice could be accepted, even after seeing the true scope of the weight on his shoulders. It’s Katherine that convinces him otherwise, her kindness and consistency teaching him how to hope again, and this time make it real.

Joey Barreiro: Angry!Jack Kelly

This is a Jack Kelly with nothing left but his rage. He never hides it, doesn’t want to, the world was never so kind to him, so he flares it in the face of anyone who crosses him, hoping it’s enough. It never will be. He will always carry it, burning in his chest, eating away at whatever softness he might have left. With nothing to calm him, nowhere to let it out safely, he doesn’t care who he burns along the way. He knows there are worse things than anger, hatred and greed and indifference have always been worse. Crutchie would lend him his kindness, trying to ease the burns, but with him gone his anger has only been proven justified. Davey knows it’s justified, has always known, and offers a place to put it to good use. Having Davey is the closest thing he’s ever had to peace. But Katherine only makes it worse, she doesn’t understand him and her fury only feeds his own.

Taglist: @spacehobbits @fandom-crazy-797 @ben-cook-can-cook @rainbow-anon

[snarkybubble]

Accurate!