I read beautiful disaster so you don't have to.
Hello! Welcome to my blog where I am gonna talk about all the books I am too embarrassed to admit to my friends that I read! Hope you enjoy it! I have recently been self introduced to the the wonderful world of self publication YA and new adult Kindle books. And let me tell you. I. cannot. be. happier.
First things first, I am too old to be reading these books, I am not a young adult anymore and well I wouldn't even consider myself a new adult. I have been an adult for awhile. I stumbled across The Hunger Games about a year ago and from a hilarious blog I read (ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com), I was introduced to fan fic. Now, fan fic is not my thing. Its usually badly written smut ( I like my smut written well), but I fell across one I loved (not the one you are thinking about with "Grey" in the title). After that, I was looking for something similar to read when Kindle recommended "Beautiful Disaster" by Jamie McGuire. Let me tell you, I do not know what I have done for Kindle to troll me so hard, but that B-word did it. She trolled me so good. Anyhoo, it had a decent amount of gold stars by the name, and the best part, it was like $2.99 so, I bought it. And I read it.
So, here is the part where I talk about the book. And, just to warn you. Here be spoilers. Here be a whole lotta spoilers. But seriously, its fine. Because no one should read this book. Unless its for the lols.
Quick Summary: Abby Abernathy is a good girl, I would say a straight edge, but she not. She just wants to run away from her old life. You see, she has kray kray parents, ones a drunk the other gambles, you know, the usual. She a freshman at an university called Eastern. I'm guessing its somewhere on the East Coast, cos its never specified. Her best friend goes with her (Oh! by the way, her best friends name is America???!!! -don't even get me started on that) and everything is honky dory. UNTIL FIGHT CLUB!!! Yes, there is a fight club in this book. And Jamie McGuire spits all over the first and second rules of fight club, because she tells allllll about it. Abby and her BFF hit up the fight club in the underground secret basement on campus, and that's where she meets her knight in shiny sweaty skin. Travis Maddox. He's such a dreamboat from the get go when he hits some dude and the dudes blood splatters all over her cashmere sweater (Girl, that does NOT come out in the dry cleaning. Let it go). Oh! Travis is also a genius! It must be all those times hes been hit in the head cos it is not even necessary for him to go to class. Oh yes, and hes hot and sexy and a player and every girl wants him. Anyway, from here Abby plays hard to get and due to unrealistic turn of events she ends up living at Travis apartment. See how weird that sounds, and how quick i just made that happen? Well, its about that ridiculous in the book. Anyhoo. There is some other boy who's into her but really who cares about that because did I mention she has like X-man, mutant, only in comic books luck. Oh, and did I mention she uses it to play poker?? And she cant lose???
OK Ok.. so far the things that make this book ridiculous:
2.mutant like ability to not lose at cards
(Don't worry this list will continue as we go on)
So, this book has a plot that involves Travis beating up a lot of people. Like every person who looks at Abby, who he calls Pigeon. Abby wants to move on from douches but is not doing a good job because she falls for him anyway, even though hes controlling and hurts her "by accident". If you read the reviews at amazon or goodreads you will read how people RAGE over the fact that Travis is obviously an abusive, controlling boyfriend but being portrayed as an in love guy with "restless arms while his hands are in fists syndrome". (OMG! I almost forgot the scene where the dude goes APE cos she leaves one morning without telling him. He like tears doors from the hinges and stuff. See? Told you he's a mega dreamboat)
But that doesn't make me rage. You know what makes me rage about this book?? Rage #1-The obviousness that Jamie McGuire may have only heard about what a college is. Sort of like, if you never been to Disneyland, you probably still have an idea what it might look like. Well I feel the same way about poor Jamie and University. Now, I'm not saying she didn't go, but she thinks everyone has lunch at the same time, and that its really really cool to eat at the table with the football team. Also, Travis can pretty much beat up anyone at any time right there at the popular table. In fact, he does this twice, to the same guy. With no consequence. No academic probation, no police called, heck no one even stopped him. I think he just got tired or there was a fight club somewhere or his burger was getting cold. Either way, nothing happened to him . But for some reason they hide the actual fight clubs in the basements on campus. What dummies, move it to the cafetorium so that the teachers can get in on the betting!
Rage#2- Abby has to get get her dad out of hock with some gangsters in Vegas cos hes a dumbass (yes, that's a real subplot in this book). He owes like $25,000 and has 24 hours to get it. She has magic mutant luck. She goes to vegas (stay with me here) and goes to ONE casino and wins half the money. She still has several hours left and instead of going to one of the HUNDREDS of casinos in Vegas, she stops and asks the gangsters for more time. WHAT THA!!! USE THOSE MAGIC POWERS!! HAVEN'T YOU READ THE BOOK??? YOU CANNOT LOSE!! Shake. my. head. Anyhoo, Travis has to bail her out by beating up some goons. He's so good at goon beating, the gangsters want him to become a professional goon beater upper. That sweet dummy really must have had his head pummeled too many times because he wants to do it. Like really, really wants to. So much she has to basically destroy him to get him to change his mind.
From here its pretty much your standard, I love you but I must let you go, no don't let me go!, I must let you go!, don't do it! OK, lets get married storyline you've come to know and love.
So, that is Beautiful Disaster. It was the worst. Like throw my kindle bad. BUT, jokes on me, cos I read it. I felt strongly enough to start a tumblr just to tell how bad it is, and in turn, probably sparking more interest in this pile of dumb than I mean to. McGuire also just got a major publishing house to publish it, and girlfriend is making dollar bills, ya'll. So I am the banana head.
But, In reality, I don't hate McGuire. Infact, I love her. Why? Because after I read this mess, I cried over the hours I will never get back, and then I googled "what to read if you thought Beautiful Disaster was the worst". And I was blessed. Blessed by being introduced to my queen Tammara Webber and her awesome books 'Easy' and the Between the Lines series.
So tune in next time when I will review "Easy" by Tammara Webber. But dont wait for me. Read any of her books yourself. You wont be sorry.
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