holiest heathen

[jesse-marston]

Jesse was sitting out in his coyote form, which was something he missed a lot in that weird dream world. He just couldn’t imagine having to live the rest of his life as a human, it sounded like dog shit. Also, how was he supposed to reach that itch that he could only reach when he was coyote? That was the real question. 

Anyways, he was enjoying his lazy day, chewing on some of Jaden’s shoes because why not, when he heard someone approach. Now, he knew that chewing on Jaden’s shoes was bad, and he would have hid the evidence if he had thumbs and if his canine didn’t get caught on the leather. So the coyote just shook his head as he tried to untangle himself the shoe. 

“It ain’t what it looks like”

@jadenthehybrid @themasterbjorn @dragonxguard @percivalweiss​ @sncczin

[sncczin]

What in the four hells was that noise?

As confused as he was about the fever dream, Hal couldn’t help but feel perturbed by the weird cacophony. Gross huffing, odd squelching, and the wet sound of slobber. Was someone chewing hide?

Brows furrowed, he rounded the corner and saw the source head on. “It ain’t what it looks like? What-- boot got your goddamn tongue?” Big words for someone of his status, but the obnoxious crudeness seemed to have carried over. 

[sncczin]

percivalweiss​:

The longer he looked at him, the more he worried he was legitimately dying of something instead of overreacting. Rolling his eyes, he strode across the remainder of the space between them. “Alright. Get up. I’m taking you to the hospital.” There was no point in asking if he had a thermometer when the likely answer was no. Percy just assumed that it was above 100. 

“I’ll blast the AC in the car, just for you. Let’s go.”

“Whuh--” Hal protested the second his boiled brain caught hold of what the other said, albeit very weakly. “But it’s so damn hot out there n’ it takes so much energy to move.” Yet it only took one look at Percival to know that he didn’t have much of a choice. Something about that steely look convinced him that he’d get his ass kicked out of his own shop if needed. So he conceded without too much of a fight. 

Step by step, he gathered himself and bumbled along to heed the other’s insistence. “Gonna get your seats sweaty as hell.”

[sncczin]

barrywakefield​:

“It’s one of those days, isn’t it?” Barry could not help the good-natured chuckle as he looked at the state of the man in front of him. The heat seemed to really be doing a number on him and it must have been worse being in an automotive shop being surrounded by hot metal. 

“Soda?” he asked and pulled a still-chilled bottle out from his bag to place on the table. Barry had just done a run at the shop and bought himself a few bottles because his very own large body needed cooling down as well, but the other seemed like he sorely needed one right now. “Here’s hoping it won’t be too hot by the time Pride comes around or we’d all be a mass of rainbow goo on the streets of Ballard…”

“One of those days? You’re makin’ it sound like I got menopause. Actually, y’know what? If this is what heat flashes feel like then I am beyond sorry for all the women that gotta go through shit like this.” All of which was said in the most pitiful whine imaginable. 

It took effort to open his eyes and look at what had been placed before him; like there was glue cemented behind his eyelids. “It ain’t even that hot outside, man. It’s like three degrees different from yesterday.” More griping and petulant misery. 

[sncczin]

percivalweiss​:

He had only walked in for a small thing but it already seemed like far too much of a hassle for him to deal with today. Here was a man slumped over the desk like he was dying, and his complaints made it sound that way too. Stepping forward, Percival haphazardly put the back of his hand against Hal’s skin, and he could definitely feel some heat.

“Unless you’re planning on asking them to douse with a couple thousand gallons on water, I would recommend the hospital, instead.” He was no doctor by any means, but he did have enough knowledge of fevers to know if one got too high, it was detrimental to the body.

“You really should take better care of yourself, Hal.”

Another pitiful groan slipped from at just the thought of being drenched in water. “A ton of water or a doc-- don’t matter to me so long I don’t feel like I’m getting roasted over an inferno.” Hal picked his head up and grimaced when the bag of ice slid onto the surface below him.  Lethargy slowed his movements to rival that of dark molasses. Even affected the speed of which he blinked at Percival; one goddamn eye at a time.

“Eh.” Once again, the topic of his health was brushed aside. No point to worry about it, he thought. There wasn’t a reason to. If he goes, then he goes. 

[sncczin]

status: open ( cohen automotive ) | @krovscastlestarters​

It was hot -- downright sweltering, really.  Which was absolutely absurd given the minute differences between today and yesterday. Nothing drastic had happened with the weather, the ac at home and work still functioned, and he was dressed in his usual attire.

So what in god’s name had changed? What was he missing here? Why the hell was it so goddamn hot?

Similar inquiries swarmed his mind as he remained slumped up front; overheated and miserable. The entirety of his upper half leaned over the raised desk. Arms splayed out for optimal coolness, and both sides of his cheeks were squished against chilled cans of soda. Hell, he even had a bag of ice laid on the back of his neck; small trickles of condensation be damned. 

The chime that came from the front door drew out a sullen groan rather than a half-assed greeting. “Do me a favor and phone the fire department ‘cause I’m like ninety-nine percent sure I’m meltin’ like the Witch of the West.”

[sncczin]

xxlysanderxx‌:

“Well I have all kinds. I mean, I think I got at least two of every kind. Jelly filled, powdered sugar, chocolate, vanilla with sprinkles, coconut, chocolate and peanut butter. The list goes on.” Lysander was more than happy to show the man what he had in his bag, and for once all of them were exactly what he said, just doughnuts. “Anyone ever tell you that you have a weird face. It’s like. You’re just almost handsome. Like you aren’t ugly by any means. But you aren’t quite handsome either. It’s odd.” 

All he needed to hear were the words chocolate and peanut butter. Hal honed in on one of the sweets and snagged it from the bag. He already had his big ass mouth open for a bite when the other continued on. Brows scrunched together, he wasn’t sure if he should laugh or be offended. 

Who was he kidding -- the comment was kind of hilarious. 

A crude snort left him as a hefty bite of doughnut was taken. “Passin’, then. Like a five outta ten kinda thing, right?”

[sncczin]

jesse-marston‌:

“You’re the one who didn’t like me calling you Hal-landaise sauce”. Jesse’s nicknames could and would get a lot worst if he was left to his own devices. 

He was lowkey happy that Hal didn’t ask him to leave or move. Both men were more than content with being lazy on a park bench. “I do, but it’s too far to get there. Why? Wanna nap with me?”. He feigned offense and put his hand over his heart, “I swear it, I’ll do it. Don’t fuckin’ tempt me”.

“Uh, yeah, ‘cause it sounds like a euphemism for bein’ fat.” Which wasn’t exactly inaccurate per se. Hal did have a bit of a dad bod going on. 

A look was leveled at Jesse as he lazily smacked the other’s arm. “And hear you snore up a storm? Yeah, sure.” Worse things have blown by before, and he still slept like the dead. “Just don’t get your slobber on me.”

[xxlysanderxx-deactivated2023020]

“Want one?” Lys had a large paper bag, filled to the brim with doughnuts, one hand clutching the bag the other hand held perhaps the largest cup of coffee one could buy, and naturally it was iced. “No really it’s fine you can have one. I got all different kinds. You want one or naw?” One cheek bulging with sugary dough as he chewed and swallowed, again emphatically offering his bag of doughnuts to the other man. 

@krovscastlestarters​

[sncczin]

Maybe there was a bit of good left in this horrid world. The offer of something sweet called to him like a one winged moth to an inferno. Which was to say that he was definitely interested, but a bit slow to get there. Tired eyes slowly look over and straight at the bag. 

“What kind you got?” Hal asked as he peered into the gold mine of desserts.

[sncczin]

jesse-marston‌:

“Don’t be rude, Hal-berry bush”. Jesse scooted over for Hal to sit, but then put his legs over the other man’s nap. He said he’d move, but he never said he wouldn’t make himself comfortable. 

“Don’t you gotta house you can nap in? I thought we established that this was my side of the park anytime after five”.

“Still the lamest nickname in history.” But that never stopped Jesse, and they both knew it. Hal didn’t do so much as blink when he felt the other’s legs rest over his own. The more weight the merrier -- so he thought.

“Don’t you gotta place to nap in?” He retorted with a partial yawn. “Won’t believe it til I see it in writing and with a stamp from the city council.” 

[sncczin]

familiarbear‌:

He had left the store in Mathias’s hands while he wrapped up a particular bouquet of favoured flowers and headed over to his favourite mechanic. Bear didn’t bother knocking, finding Hal over the edge of a car and cursing and swearing. “I’m literally named Bear, I’m not that quiet. You’re just deaf,” he pointed out, grinning down at his friend. Though he had come with a more somber reminder, he couldn’t help but joke a little. 

“I bought you some flowers.”

“What’s that?” Hal crowed in response, knowing that he his imitation of an elderly New Jerseyans was piss poor at best. A chuckle would have followed after if he didn’t take note of what the other had at hand. 

Ah, it’s about that time again, wasn’t it?

Features sobered into something somewhat neutral, he let out a small sigh. “Yeah, you sure did.” Not a hint of sarcasm was found within his tone. There couldn’t be when he was forced to face the one thing that he had subconsciously avoided. Another sigh and he started to straighten up. “Thanks, man. Been, ah, meanin’ to drop by and get one.” No he hadn’t, and he didn’t expect Bear to believe the lame excuse either. 

[sncczin]

captured-josh‌:

Josh swallowed hard and nodded, “Yes… it was big and it looked like an elephant but it had a lion’s mane… it was big and then it disappeared,” he explained and hurried to add, “I know it sounds crazy but I’m not drunk and I’m not that creative to make that up,” he said as he rubbed the back of his head, “Whatever you do, just don’t go to the park ok? I’m sorry for bumping into you…” he sighed.

Elephant with a lion’s mane and it disappeared? What kind of rendition of the Fairly Odd Parent’s theme song was this? 

“Uh, yeah, sure. I’ll just mosey through the alleys and outskirts of town.” Hal replied in the least convincing tone imaginable. “But sweat the bumpin’ thing. No one ate shit so it’s all good.”

[sebastianstaan]

“I’m an analyst. I don’t interrogate people – I write reports!” – Jack Ryan (1.01)

[allamericansbitch]

[sncczin]

status: closed | @familiarbear​

Nose deep in the guts of a royally fucked vehicle, Hal didn’t hear the arrival of company. He couldn’t over all the mumbled swears and tinkering made by his grease stained hands. Honest to god, he nearly shat himself when something moved out of his periphery.  Hell, he nearly banged his head against the hood as he straightened up.

“Holy fuckin’ guacamole, man. What the hell? You got the feet of Casper or something?” 

[sncczin]

captured-josh‌:

Josh stopped for a minute at the man’s words and shook his head as he got back on his feet, “Oh no, no! I-I…” he worried at his bottom lip,  considering how he sounded with all those nonsense falling from his mouth, “I didn’t mean you… I’m sorry. I should go and well, don’t- don’t go to the park ok? There’s a weird big animal in there… just, I should go,” he said swallowing hard, ready to start running again.

Woops, maybe the joke flew past the mark. 

“There’s a weird big animal? What, like a deer? Overweight coyote or a passel of opossums?” All of which he had personally witnessed in any cityscape; no matter how clean a place claimed to be. “Alright, then. Don’t go barrelin’ into other folks. Might end up with a concussion or bruised tailbone.”

[sncczin]

jesse-marston‌:

Jesse grumbled out a small protest, but did move over. Who was he to deny someone of an optimal sleeping space? Also, there was a less chance of someone starting shit if there were two people napping. It was all about survival here. 

“Ain’t nice to tell a man to shut up like that. Didn’t your mama teach you manners?”

Mockery flitted from him just after the noise Jesse made. Which was arguably rude of him to do, that’s just how Hal worked when his brain was the size of a pea. 

“Ain’t nice to snap at folks that are just passin’ by either, but you don’t see me draggin’ out your ma’s name-- you gotta give me more room than that. Scoot your caboose, man.” All was said without pause as he plopped himself onto the bench. 

[captured-josh-deactivated202312]

Plot drop: Close Encounters

Josh had stayed at the bakery after hours. He decided he wanted to practice more with the decorations for the pride week, just as with some other of his usual pastries. He didn’t notice the time but when he finally looked at the clock, he realized it was long past after midnight, “Shoot!” he murmured to himself as he started cleaning up.

It was past one in the morning when he finally made his way back home, he was just walking down Krovs Town Park when he heard a weird nose that caused him to stop in his tracks. It was a noise he had never heard but his curiosity got the best of him. He paced up to the place when he had heard it and it was then when he saw it. The strange creature turning to look at him and then vanishing in thin air, leaving Josh slightly shaken. He had heard rumors but he’s not one to usually believe in supernatural thing, but now? Now he isn’t so sure anymore.  It takes him just a minute for his brain to catch up with what he just saw but fear immediately kick in, making him turn on his track and run back to the bakery since it’s the safest place nearby. In his hurry he didn’t even notice the person standing when he turned in a corner, colliding hard against someone, “oh my God! I’m sorry! I’m sorry I just… there’s a monster! A monster!” he said in a rush as he scrambler to get back on his feet.

@krovscastlestarters​

[sncczin]

In hindsight, he should have heard the oncoming rush of soles against pavement. And he did after someone rammed into him. A small grunt left him as he teetered a step back. Whatever the guy said just about flew over his head -- besides a few key words.

“Monster? Christ, look-- I know haven’t shaved in a while, but monster? That’s just plain rude.” Or so he claimed even though Hal couldn’t give less of a shit about his appearance.