Greetings my loves! Your favourite grandma is here! Bearing gifts!
I present to you: A FREE SEXIFIED CAMP CALENDAR, 2019! FREE OF CHARGE. YOU LOVE ME. I KNOW. HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE.
January: Featuring the Bro Squad. They’re always happy for a voluntary abs off. Ladies and gents, big round of applause for abs.
February: Featuring Pencil Guy. I don’t know his name.
March: Leith. Friends with Pencil guy. Abs for days.
April: Micah. Wutta tall drink of water. Granny like.
May: Mason. You got that booty for days, shake what your mama gave ya!! **shimmies**
June: Wes. Too yummy for words. Call me. Seriously. I wrote my number on your window.
July: Emre. Honey if you were straight we would have some great body shot times. But alas, tis not meant to be, my love!
August: Jack. I told him this was a fundraiser to save kittens from the sock monster. You’re welcome.
September: Roger. Definition #DILF. Yasss.
October: Chadwick. Your very tall and handsome friend told me to advertise your phone number: x-xxx-xxxx. Ladies, give him a call! Free of charge!
November: Jackson. He volunteered his friend so I snapped a picture. HAHA, SUCKER.
December: Kenu. We all appreciate a man that willing to take his clothes off. Bless your six pack.
You’re welcome, my thirstqueens and kings. YOLO and you’d better live like me!!
**I accept paypal contributions, or you can just throw money at me like a stripper. MAKE IT RAIN, BITCHES.
*** Requests for 12 month calendars of your favourite stalking victim can be arranged for a not totally unreasonable fee.
**** MY GRANDCHILDREN WILL NEVER STOP ME, I AM LIKE THE COCKROACH QUEEN!!!!
***** Whoever’s phone this is, this is not theft, this is borrowing without permission.
