Animals And Video Games

Matt, 21. Dogs are the most important thing to me in the world

[darklordbambi]

When some asshole tries to kill net neutrality again;

[theweirdwideweb]

[shacklesburst]

you, a doctor: *handing me my new born baby* I’m sorry but your wife didn’t make it

me, an intellectual: *handing baby back to him* bring me the one my wife made

[proteusolm]

every time. every time I say I can’t stand tomatoes someone emerges from the mist to offer me an heirloom cherry tomato from their garden. “It’s good. It’s sweet. You’ll like it,” they wail and wail. I make attempts to deflect them with no thank yous and jokes about them being close relatives of deadly nightshade to no avail. they continue to attempt to force the red orbs upon me. I give in to their plea and take a bite. “It’s ok I guess,” I whimper as my eyes water and I struggle not to gag on the sour, mushy, hell fruit.

[itsvondell-deactivated20180104]

you can take one man’s trash to another man’s treasure but you can’t make it drink

Fun fact: the blending of idioms or cliches is called a malaphor.

My personal favorite is “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”

[chromalogue]

I’m rather fond of “It’s not rocket surgery” and “not the sharpest egg in the attic,” but my all-time favourite is, “…until the cows freeze over.”

[bowtochris]

You’ve opened this can of worms, now lie in it,

[gddr6]

[takes a single step out of bed after 8 hours of sleep]

[corvidaezero-deactivated2021061]

“As the father of no daughters because I’m literally in 8th grade, I think sexual harassment is bad.”

These kid are the future.

[cheese24k]

[vua-deactivated20160828]

oh my god

[friendley-deactivated20200102]

everyone needs to see this video at least once in their life

[andromedafalls]

I think my favorite thing about dogs is that they can, in fact, perceive the tone/mood of music, just as they can with human voices.

[theteastainedpages]

I think the best part about this is that there was an actual academic study done to find out what music dogs preferred, they set it up by kenneling dogs and figuring out which kind of music caused them to be more relaxed in the situation, and they found out that most dogs prefer soft rock and reggae. 

He probably really digs it. 

[fozmeadows]

Watching my toddler figure out how to language is fascinating. Yesterday we were stumped when he kept insisting there was a “Lego winner” behind his bookshelf - it turned out to be a little Lego trophy cup. Not knowing the word for “trophy”, he’d extrapolated a word for “thing you can win”. And then, just now, he held up his empty milk container and said, “Mummy? It’s not rubbish. It’s allowed to be a bottle.” - meaning, effectively, “I want this. Don’t throw it away.” But to an adult ear, there’s something quite lovely about “it’s allowed to be a bottle,” as if we’re acknowledging that the object is entitled to keep its title even in the absence of the original function.

[legit-writing-tips]

Another good post to read for those writing small human characters. 

[jennytrout]

My son was about three when he came to me in the middle of the day and said, “Mommy, there’s a knight behind the bush.” I thought he meant a toy knight or something. So I follow him outside and he goes, “Listen. Do you hear it? It’s night behind the bush.” It was a cricket. A cricket was standing in the little patch of shade under the bush, chirping. So, my son saw this dark area with accompanying nighttime sounds and decided, okay, well, that is a night right there. Their brains are incredible.

[deleted20211121]

My little bean knows she’s two, constantly saying proudly ‘I’m two!’ And the other day she saw this very frail old lady who looked one foot in the grave, pulled a face and said ‘oh shiiiit. She’s three.’ I almost screamed.

[cantnotknope]

I live in Korea and have a lot of international friends, and the same is true with language barriers in adults. 

*Looking at a bowl of pears* “Can you please pass me the… apple’s friend?” 

[masterofbirds]

OH SHIT SHE’S THREE

[catsbeaversandducks]

Super-realistic!

By poorly drawn cats

[irisowl]

So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized

Dr. Robert Evans

I looked it up

My dentist is Captain America’s dad

[ryblogs]

omfg

[adhduck]

i like how he said he’s in the movie as if he’s an extra and not the main character and also crhis fucking evans

[rontology]

today my gf said “when donkey asks shrek what his name is, shrek pauses before he says shrek, and i’m convinced he came up with it on the spot.” we weren’t even talking about shrek. i can’t stop thinking about it or about how lucky i am to be with her

[babyanimalgifs]

[emperorozark]

[thebuttkingpost-deactivated2021]

People are replicating the feeling of a Bethesda game IRL so well that I’m scared someone’s going to get caught clipped through the floor

[glennjaminhow]

The return of Calzone Boy.

[adhighdefinition]

somebody: so what do u like to do for fun? :)

me, very used to being mocked for my interests: ha ha, i dunno, i don’t do anything. Ever

[your-pal-mitch]

Mayo won the splatfest and I am disgusted

[your-pal-mitch]

This is my first post ever in which people got irritated over my joke and I’m honestly so happy right now??? I love this game