written for the carry on countdown day 29:
Rated: Explicit for later chapters
Summary: Being in love isn't easy—sometimes it's downright terrifying. But sometimes it's worth it to open your heart. Some people are worth fighting for.
Aeroplanes don’t stop being aeroplanes when they’re on the ground.
But I’m not on the ground anymore, am I?
Or maybe I am. I’m on the ground even when I’m thirty-five thousand feet above the Atlantic.
Baz and I haven’t spoken since the beach. Not anything meaningful, at least.
I should be grateful. That’s twice now Penelope’s stopped me from ending things with him, even if she didn’t know that’s what she was doing.
It doesn’t make it any less painful.
It felt like I lost him, in America, like we were holding on by a thread. And then I almost did lose him, there at the end. To those vampires. To all that fire.
That’s twice now I’ve saved Baz from an open flame. Twice I’ve nearly lost him to an inferno.
He told me once that I was the sun. And isn’t that all the sun is ? A mass of flames? I’ve got to save him, one more time. I’ve got to save him from myself.
I’m trying not to think about it on this flight. I’m trying not to think about it at all before we get home, because I don’t want to cry in front of him. I—
Baz is nudging me with his elbow. Sliding a napkin and a pen over to me on top of the tray table in front of me.
I tilt my plastic cup of leftover ice and watch the last bit of Coke trickle along the bottom. Then I look at the open napkin.
I remember Baz screaming at me, that first night we kissed. About his mother. “She loved what I was!”
That’s me now. He loved what I was...
Maybe he’s finally figured that out.
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