Just light it, Fireheart.

For snowbaz, pyromaniacs, the uphold of our basic human rights and late nights. I'm just over here trying to adult a little, okay?

[anonymousalchemist]

I know "umbrellastuck" is supposed to imply an umbrella academy/homestuck crossover, but to me it just sounds like how Lup spent her time between the stolen century and story & song

Your name is LUP TAACO. You like BLOWING SHIT UP, your BOYFRIEND, and your FAMILY — especially your TWIN BROTHER. You also like SAVING THE WORLD. Unfortunately, you are stuck in a MAGICALLY CREATED UMBRELLA SPACE because you got BACKSTABBED, LITERALLY. 

What will you do? 

[jessetorial]

>regain your senses

[anonymousalchemist]

Lup: Regain your senses

You pull yourself together — literally. Now that you’re outta your body, all that’s holding you together is your WILLPOWER and LOVE FOR YOUR FRIENDS. Gross, mushy. 

It’s harder to keep everything together here though. Almost like something is trying to tear you apart. But now you’ve got all your senses back, and you’re ready to try and figure out what the fuck to do now. 

You blink a couple of times and look around. 

[ghostbrawl]

>look outside

[anonymousalchemist]

You can’t. The entirety of the room is swathed in red curtains, so dark that they’re almost black. You tug them experimentally, and get the feeling that you might be able to pull them back with enough effort, but right now they’re not budging. 

[calelian]

>contemplate life decisions leading up to this moment

[anonymousalchemist]

You sit down. You run your hands through your hair and sigh. You’re trying not to freak out, because if you freak out, then you start to de-coalesce, and you get the feeling that this would be really bad in here. 

But you can’t help thinking about how you ended up here. 

Leaving seemed so inevitable, at the time. There were so many deaths, and it was your plan that caused them. You hadn’t realized that the thrall of the relics would be so powerful, that’s the thing, you thought they would blend into the other weird magical artifacts, and maybe that’s just hubris, that you thought that you’d be able to create something concealable out of the Light. 

You’re not great at admitting your mistakes. You figured that you could maybe fix this on your own — or at least get your gauntlet back. You’re the greatest evocation wizard in multiple galaxies. You’re a deathless lich. You figured you’d be gone a few days, maybe a week. 

You think maybe you bit off more than you could chew. 

[glitchfern]

>YEARS IN THE FUTURE BUT NOT MANY

[anonymousalchemist]

etc… 

A trio of adventurers happen upon a red-cloaked skeleton in the caves underneath Phandolin. 

[feralandqueer]

LUP: fuckin yeet a Merle

[anonymousalchemist]

You don’t know how much time has passed. You don’t have a watch in here, you don’t have anything other than your soul and these stupid curtains. You can play this umbrella like a fiddle now, like its your own personal starblaster except it takes so much energy, and you’re only energy. But you’ve gotten good at tearing the curtains back, even if it takes a lot of effort to keep them open. 

Now you don’t bother unless you can hear someone getting close. 

Pretty much everyone who has come by has been a stranger. But today—  

You sit bolt upright. Those voices are familiar. 

For the first time in forever, you feel hope. 

Except…from what you can make of their conversation, they have no idea what you or your umbrella is, and that’s deeply concerning. How could they forget? They’re talking like strangers. Why hasn’t Taako said “Oh fuck, Lup!” and rushed over?  

You get the feeling that something is horribly wrong. 

You rip the curtains open in time to see Merle reaching for the umbrella handle, and oh no, that won’t do. 

You YEET him across the cave!

[jet-dawnbringer]

Taako: Ooooh! Me next! Me next!

[anonymousalchemist]

You are now TAAKO TAACO. You like COOKING, MAGIC, and STEALING STUFF. You don’t like it when your magic FUCKS UP and KILLS 40 PEOPLE, but listen, we don’t have to get into specifics here. You’re ON THE RUN and ON AN ADVENTURE with TWO RANDOM CHUCKLEFUCKS who you have a profoundly weird fondness for. We don’t have to think about this either! NOT THINKING ABOUT THINGS is one of your specialties. 

So is MAKING SNAP DECISIONS. 

TT: Oooh! Me next! Me next! 

You reach for the umbrella. If someone were to ask you in that moment why exactly you were reaching for the umbrella, you wouldn’t be able to tell them — it’s all static in your mind, undercut by a weird sort of urgency, it feels like the right thing to do, it feels like the only option, you’ve gotta pick it up because this umbrella belongs to— 

You pick up the umbrella. It glows warm in your hand. 

[susuwatori]

Pom Poko

[bigherosixed]

Right, of course, important water. I stare at the important water and somehow, magically, I’ll start singing about my dream?

[milidraws]

Forgot to post this here, my only queen Symmetra ✨ also, I’m more active on twitter if u want to follow me there >v<

[chongoblog]

New rule: All memes must now be posted in the form of brain teasers

[chongoblog]

[kraetys]

Sans undertale?

Sunder?

Santale?

Tale-san?

[xaveronx]

[doctor-von-raum]

[marsh-room]

[tornadofag-moved-deactivated201]

[ruimtetijd]

there are so many layers to some of these its like knowing some kind of dialect

[babypears]

carmen sandiego 

[i-am-a-fish]

hey fuck trump!!!!! just fuck that guy! Fuck That Guy, 2020

[movedto-dazaipositive]

types of fic writers #2

bullet points: the only thing you write is bullet point fic. or short fic. it’s good writing, it’s just never as long as you want it to be. you envy those who can write 50k epics at the drop of a hat. and they, in turn, envy you.

WIP Central: you last completed a fic in 2009. your folders are full of nameless fics crying out for attention. you cannot open them without a surge of guilt. in spite of this, you open another document, and begin another fic.

word counter broke: this one, you tell yourself, will be a measly 2k. it is not. you watch in creeping horror as the counter climbs first to 5k, then to 11k. you still have six major plot points left to go. the fic is expected to clock at 23k but knowing you, will reach 50k. you have a sequel planned. there is no end in sight.

error 404: I’m writing, you tell people, and you are. you post snippets on your blog. yet your ao3 fic counter is a firm zero. you never post anything. you crave validation. your finger hovers over the new work button. you close the tab.

[m4ge-deactivated20210331]

a quick step by step guide on what to do if you come back to your apartment and find yourself locked out because your front door is frozen shut

kick the bottom of the door for 10 minutes

text your landlord

remember your landlord is on vacation and also in her mid 50′s so it takes about 36 hours to receive a response

briefly wonder why the fuck you moved the canada

remember that college tuition is significantly cheaper here than in the united states 

look up and notice your cat is at the window, staring at you. he paws at the window lightly and meows. it’s devastating. his eyes are so big and imploring. decide that you have to get inside your apartment at all costs. not even god himself can stop you from feeding your cat his chicken wet food dinner. frida kahlo herself could descend from the heavens and ask “hey you wanna bang?” and you’d say “hell yeah but first let me open this door so i can feed my cat his dinner”

remember there is a starbucks 3 blocks down the street from you

enter. the barista gives you a weird look for entering a starbucks at 7pm on a tuesday

order a venti cup of hot water. you order in french because the barista just said “bonjour” instead of “bonjour, hi.” you have a strong american accent. you hit the r in merci a little too hard to compensate. you embarrass yourself.

exit the starbucks clutching the massive cup of hot water in your hands. it’s burning your fingers.

return. methodically pour the starbucks cup of water all over the the door frame. it begins moving a little but still wont open

back up

ensure your doc martens are properly gripping the sheet of ice covering the ground. many people have told you to stop wearing doc martens in the winter, despite your protests that theyre actually the ideal winter boot. also, you’re a lesbian and punk’s not dead

release a pterodactyl screech and sprint towards the door, slamming the full force of your pathetically tiny 5′2″ 110lb body into it

you dont know any of your neighbors so you dont care about maintaining your pride anyways

the door swings open

run up the stairs

open the actual door to your apartment and yell MOMMY’S HOME MY LITTLE BITCHASS BABY BOY DONT WORRY at your cat

cat flings his body to the ground and starts purring like he does every time you come home

write tumblr post

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

We were raised in, and exist in, a racist society.

Under these conditions: racism isn’t something you simply abstain from. Racism is something you must actively unlearn. 

[ghost-cassette]

And continually self-check for

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

And continually self-check for

[powerfulwizard]

How can some straight women do 95% of the housework and childcare with little to no help from their husbands and still wonder how two women could raise a child together?

[yourplayersaidwhat]

“You enter a pitch black hallway, which doesn’t f***ing matter since the whole party has f***ing darkvision!”

-The DM, already fed up with us after tearing their campaign apart for the 15th time in 15 minutes

[i-am-a-fish]

MAN. my arms sure are sore

[i-am-a-fish]

sore from all the HUGGIN i do

[nerevar-crying]

Me on my first playthrough of Skyrim, going through the main story: Wow, I’m amazed by the journey I’ve set out on! These moments are really what make a “chosen one” narrative not cliche and played out! All these characters and their stories are weaving with mine and I feel the awesome power and honor of being Dragonborn, what a wonderful and exciting nar-

Me on my 416th playthrough talking to the Greybeards:

[yeehawlw]

scoping out if it’s safe to come out to someone

[biolegend]

The only acceptable form of DAB.

[just-shower-thoughts]

People avoid confrontation because they don’t know how to deal with it because they avoid it.