Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: D.Gray-man (Anime & Manga)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Lavi & Allen Walker (D.Gray-man), Bookman & Lavi (D.Gray-man)
Characters: Lavi (D.Gray-man), Allen Walker (D.Gray-man), Previous Bookman Junior Who Went Missing (D.Gray-man), Bookman (D.Gray-man)
Additional Tags: Spoilers, D.Gray-man Manga Spoilers, Canon-Typical Violence
Series: Part 7 of writing with snowdrops (dgm)
Summary:
I wrote this at the same time as patchwork, an idle daydream that maybe they could have shared.
“Yuu,” Lavi said one day, pen flying across the page, flowing script never stopping. “Hey, Yuu.”
“What.”
Lavi had not even looked at him, only stopping to dip his pen in fresh ink. “Ever wondered what it’d like to be free?”
“No.”
Lavi had looked over then, eye glittering in the faint candlelight. “Really?”
There was genuine surprise in the word, curiousity in his voice. Kanda had shrugged: there was not much to wonder about when his life - his entire existence - was shackled to the Order. Dreaming had always been Alma’s forte, not his.
Something must’ve shown on his face, or maybe Lavi’s annoying perceptiveness had won out once again.
“After all this ends, let’s run away together,” Lavi had said, turning back to his work nonchalantly, like he was telling Kanda what he wanted to get from the canteen for dinner later tonight.
“You have your Bookman duties to attend to,” Kanda had pointed out dryly, choosing to ignore the fact that Lavi was assuming that this would end, and that both of them would live to see it end. It seemed awfully optimistic to Kanda, even moreso coming from Lavi’s own mouth.
here’s something I wrote while woozy under medication. it’s more of writing practice than actual fic, I guess, so have at it!
Chang’an market is bustling at this time of day, crowded with people and voices fighting for attention. There is a stall selling fruits, right at the end of the lane. Today there are peaches, rosy and fresh from harvest. Lenalee’s favourite. Kanda buys a bag, with a few pears and plums for good measure.
Homewards finds him meandering the streets, checking the back alleys out of habit more than any real threat. Not all instincts can be dulled by years of peacetime. Kanda has learnt to accept this.
The house is empty when he returns at last, Lenalee and Komui’s shoes gone from their positions on the rack. It is usual, this—Lenalee has gone to the small school down the street, teaching children to write and speak; Komui is in the government offices on the other side of town, writing proposals and drawing up reports. This is their new reality, the permanent abode they have taken up, the life they have carved and settled into. They are not like him, for whom this place is but a temporary shelter.
See, Kanda is searching, or maybe he is waiting. At this point, it is hard to tell, with the shadows of the War still tight on his heels, yet far away enough that they feel like events of a past life. He remembers, of course, the things that should be remembered—the feeling of Mugen in his hands, the soft smile he had seen on Allen Walker’s face, the way the world stopped spinning, for a long, long moment, as blood spattered and lights flashed and everything came to an end.
But there are many things Kanda does not remember: the calloused slide of tanned skin against his own, the colour of red hair catching the golden setting sun, the voice that used to call him by his name, the way Lavi had looked that last day when he left and never came back.
Memory is a fickle thing. He has travelled to many places in the time since the War ended, trying to piece together the parts that make up Lavi. So far, he has only found Lavi’s scarf—it was hanging off the lowest branches of a tree in a small village in Siam, frayed green ends threadbare and fluttering in the breeze. Chang’an was another stop in that journey, but meeting Lenalee on the streets had not been part of the plan.
Perhaps this was what Lavi was running from, all those times he told Kanda he could not stay; that building a home in a person was not what he did, nor what he could afford. Because Kanda understands, now—leaving someone behind after finding them again is the cruelest choice one can make.
How ironic that it is only now, after so much time has passed, that he understands how truly heartless Lavi always was. Back then he had not needed to be angry, not when death had seemed imminent, its metallic taste like liberation on his tongue. There was no fear then, no fear of losing Lavi, not when he thought he would be lost himself.
Had he known that he would live, would he have treated Lavi differently? Would he have gone with Lavi, wherever Lavi’s swift feet went, sailed the seven seas and walked all the continents—and if he had, would he be happier then?
Kanda sweeps these thoughts aside, because he knows the answer. He would. He would have dropped it all in a heartbeat, had Lavi only stopped to ask.
Shouyou and Kenma share a moment, the night before they arrive at the castle.
Shouyou takes it all in. He doesn’t mind this, not after a long day on the road beating their way through thick foliage and rough terrain, a dull ache in his muscles and a warm dinner in his stomach.
If Kaito had found Seiya in the rain after episode 9 —
“Seiya. Seiya. Seiya.”
Seiya ignores all of his calls, just keeps walking away. So Kaito follows, and grabs him by the shoulder, pulling him under the shelter of an umbrella too small to fit two high-schoolers.
A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?
B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?
C: What member do you identify with most?
D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]?
E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?
F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?
H: How would you describe your style?
I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?
J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].
K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?
L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?
M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?
N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?
O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters?
P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)
Q: How do you feel about collaborations?
R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?
S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?
T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?
U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.
V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?
W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?
X: A character you enjoy making suffer.
Y: A character you want to protect.
Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate?
this was a surprisingly difficult question to answer - off the top of my head, I like exploring slice-of-life moments that may or may not have happened in canon? I really love genfics and character studies for this exact reason because I get to see parts of characters outside of what we usually see of them. I notice I enjoy world-building a lot, and apparently more often than not, politics are involved even though I really really dislike politics lol. Politics are always the reason for the bad things happening in my stories lmao
5. what inspires you to write?
what? Everyday life, I guess. There’s magic in our day-to-day and I think that’s what I like to write about. Little, snatched interludes of characters doing mundane things, living lives not that far away from my own. And when I write whole new AU’s with huge worlds to build, my inspiration comes from my ability to create. Like there’s this huge world out there in my mind that I want to share with everyone else, and I’m showing it through my writing.
And writing is kind of my way of coping with life? Just putting pen to paper comforts me in ways that nothing else can even if I don’t write anything, so it’s kind of my own paradise when I write.
8. is there a character you love writing for the most? the least? why?
Love writing the most: Lavi, because I’m used to writing him, and also because I can see parts of myself in him. Yaku, because I relate a lot to him in almost every way. These two are easy for me to write exactly because it’s very easy for me to place myself into their shoes and write from their perspectives.
Love writing the least: Definitely Lenalee, because I can’t find her character voice - she seems to absorb bits and pieces of the people and the world around her, so I find it hard to find the Lenalee tone. I don’t know how to write her well so I usually end up avoiding writing her pov lol >_>;; After Lenalee would probably be Allen and Nishinoya simply because the two of them are super complicated characters who look simple/straightforward on the surface, and I find it v difficult to bring out that conflict when I write them. Tbh, I haven’t written from the POV of any of these three in quite some time cos I’m not confident of doing well oops…
12. what’s your favorite place for writing resources?
Tumblr - I have a tag for #writing reference
AO3 - I usually refer to how other writers write certain characters when I’m not sure of how to characterize them, especially if it’s my first time writing a particular character. Other than that, I basically read a lot (of fanfiction oops) and try to pick up what I like and don’t like about certain stories, like how the author brings across an idea or a feeling to the reader, or describes a world, and then learn from them accordingly.
In the empty spaces of Lianhuawu, there was only Jiang Cheng left.
If nothing changed, it would be this way for the rest of his life.
Years after Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian go their separate ways, their paths cross again. Brought together by unexpected circumstances, both of them are forced to face up to their tangled past — their memories, their regrets, their choices, and the things they did not (could not) tell each other.
Originally published by 支持T9不解释 on Lofter as 记云梦双杰.
I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?
Hmm guilty pleasure is probably injury fics. I love reading stories where someone gets critically injured and people realise exactly how important that person is in their lives. The problem with this is that it often becomes very overdramatic and I end up getting turned off from the story orz.
Also, character studies and introspective stories, especially for characters who are written mostly for gags. (whispers: Nishinoyaaaaaaa ;-;)
K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?
Killing Lavi in you, who like stars shone so brightly. I made myself cry writing that story, as ridiculous as it sounds. I don’t know why it hit me so hard emotionally either, because the death wasn’t exactly drawn out or anything. I guess it was writing the emotional loss that affected me a lot? I don’t even know, tbh.
(there’ve probably been more angsty stories in my wip folders …? but the fact that I made myself cry probably says something about how angsty I felt writing this.)
Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate?
Yes, I write and yes, I read. Though I write it much more than I read it. I’ve written Kanda and Lavi’s deaths \o/ but I seldom read it. I don’t think there’s a character whose death I can’t tolerate, as long as it’s written very well? (might change my mind on this later, hmm.)
I’ll go with fanfiction writers since they influenced my writing much more than actual book authors… My top three would be
kiri coil, darkotter and Enchantable on FFnet.
This was waaaay back in 2008 (2007?). kiri coil and darkotter wrote really good DGM fics and these two writers got me into shipping Yullen… Which explains why my earliest stories on FFN are all Yullen.
Enchantable on the other hand.. was/is still one of my writing idols lmao. Their stories were long, multi-chaptered fics that were actually completed and even had sequels! …I want to be like that some day.
20. favorite character to write
L a v i. I think it may because I project some parts of myself on his personality but I relate to Lavi in a way that I don’t for any other character. I put myself into his shoes a bit too easily sometimes orz…
But I guess because of that, he’s easier for me to write and I don’t need to worry as much about going out of character by accident.
37. canon or AU?
I like both, honestly. I love to play around with canon rules and universe, but at the same time sometimes it’s fun to take my characters out of canon and put them into another universe where they can lead normal lives instead of … having to live with so much tragedy and pain.
Hmm, but my favourite is post-canon. It kinda mixes canon and AU together so I get the best of both worlds :D
2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?
Animal transformation xDDD I actually have a Yullen fic drafted for this trope but it’s only into its first… three paragraphs? Also, so many AUs… and future!fic. I really want to write DGM post-canon. (I’ve only written like. one series post-canon I think.)
9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?
The first thing that comes to mind is you, who like stars shone so brightly. I loved the entire story idea but I couldn’t organize the plot properly, and it emotionally hurt me (which hasn’t happened, ever) to write the first draft because of how many emotions I wanted to express orz but it’s now up there as one of my prouder works :D
33. How do you feel about crack?
I love. My earliest days of fanfiction were spent reading this crack!author on ffn - squishedbroccolli… Gunny (my beta/rl bff) and I once wrote a crack fic about Lveille that you can find on ffn orz ………
I’d like to write crack (I actually have this idea for a multi-chapt crack dgm fic written down) but personally I don’t/can’t because my writing turns out too serious and it becomes a waste of a good could-have-been-great fic. =_= (I’ve tried. multiple times. Never succeeded.)
37. EDIT: OH MY GOD I JUST REALIZED I ANSWERED Q39 INSTEAD OF Q37 this is why I shouldn’t do ask memes at 4am…… (I’ll answer this in a separate post when I switch my com back on, sorry ;;;;;;) Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?
Ngl I haven’t gotten a rude review since… 2007? When I wrote this huge complicated fic that involved crossing over three fandoms in my defense, I was 12 years old and woke up one day to a flame :^D my reviewers have always been really nice and supportive so I guess i’m lucky.
If I got a rude review I’d see if the person was criticising my writing/giving suggestions on how it could be improved, or just plain flaming. If it’s just plain flaming I’d just delete the comment I guess. I don’t like confrontations so as far as possible, I’d get rid of it since it adds no value to my work? Idk if that’s what others would do but personally a rude review really would affect my writing and my motivation so…out of sight, out of mind.
